Please help me speed up my parent's death

Alright biz, I'm in my early twenties (20 to 24 years old) and I just lost a shitload of cash holding alts. I am a programmer with no other income source. Even if I wageslave, its fucking useless since I live in a third world country where the wage is so low and the income tax so high. I need to speedup my parent's death since if they die I'll receive my inheritance along with their life insurance. I have a younger brother but getting his share should be no problem since I am the eldest and will be in-charge of handling the money.

My dad is 53+ years old, I'm not sure of my parents age since I havent memorized their birth years but he is approximately that age. He is quite fat so I think a heart attack will kill him but how the fuck do I speed this up. If he dies my mom will mostly make me in charge of finances so thats good. I have no liabilities and have an awesome car and a shitty condo fully paid. My current holdings are 50k LINK and 100k REQ.

I think my parents wont take this too hardly since they love me. After all, if I dont get rich I'll end up killing myself (I'm their favorite son). I'm sure they do NOT want that to happen.

I'm tired of this Veeky Forums I've studied hard and for years I've watched guys who play basketball steal the girl that I like. Dont get me wrong I get girls too but not the ones that I WANT. Its unfair!! I am only trying to get the love that some guys get naturally and this is how I end up. I realize this is the path of no return but I dont care. I NEED MORE MONEY in 1 to 2 years.

How about you kill yourself instead you worthless piece of shit

chase the chick never chase the cheque

Nah he doesn't deserve escape - he deserves to be working minimum wage for the rest of his life while his father has a long and happy life.

ITT: A good reason not to have children

Fuck you. Do you think the other men in history were able to make it without doing shit like this? Princes kill their father and siblings all the time. In fact they are even advised to do so.

What makes this any different? If you had a son who is planning on killing himself wouldnt you offer your own life to save him?

As someone that lost their dad to attempted family murder suicide (he tried killing me and my mom but was too drunk so he offed himself in front of the arriving police) it's not worth it to try and speed it up. Unforeseen things may make your situation worse.

If you have a relatively normal family despite some shortcomings you still probably love the shit out of them and would miss them dearly. I hated my dad because he was abusive but I still find myself missing him sometimes.

tldr; get a job and make smart investments so that in 5 years you'll be on the moon in your lambo while you buy your parents some shitty condo to live in while they die.

I have no idea what this is, you mean you are addicted to gambling on absolutely worthless cryptoshit and want to screw your whole family?

Seems legit, sage this attention seeking shit. OP if true, get help, maybe try "programming" your own app and make money instead of being childless and alone so you can fucking gamble more. You're a sick fuck OP and need help.

I got trolled. I know.

>I'm not sure of my parents age since I havent memorized their birth years

Be sure to feed your dad lots of cheap unhealthy junk food. Also sugary drinks. If he drinks alcohol buy him some more often. It will cut years off his life.
If that doesn't work just shoot him.

You are a programmer living in a third world country? That's the best case scenario to be rich are you retarded.

It's called freelancing. You can charge fukn $400usd a week and be rich in your third world country.

I am not LARPING bro. This altcoin bear season just made me realize that I need to take more drastic measures in order to "make it".

I also try to program websites and dapps on the side but its even more hopeless in crypto. I mean what are the chances that the websites I make become successful? Almost NIL.

That's not your choice to make. The fact that you are even thinking about this shows that you need your father more than you could ever imagine.

Get back in touch with your spiritual side. Read the Taoist canon or some Buddhist books or some shit.

No I'd have another son that wasn't less of a disappoint than you and keep you out of the will

fucking kill yourself you worthless leech

But how many years will this take? His belly is really big now to the point that we tease him that he is pregnant but it still seems like he is healthy.

He has no other vices. He never smokes or drinks.

This shit is just sad, even by Veeky Forums standards.

Yeah you're dad is going to live another 20 years.

What country are you in and how good is the healthcare system?

Waiting for the time when your son posts here in the future asking how kill his dad . Whats goes around will come around.

Imagine being so fucking retarded that you can't make money without killing your parents.

Heh, I am never going to have children because I know that they might start thinking like me. Plus marriage is a shitty deal for men.

Health care is shit here. I wont say what country so that I wont be identified. Plus my dad doesnt really like going to doctors. He says everyone dies anyway.

This is literally FREE MONEY. If I pull this off correctly.

Look up slow acting poisons and slip little bits into his food. Stuff that causes cancer.

I'm not getting why you care so little for your parents that you'd rather have them dead than you not having money. Unless you're like fucking dirt poor desperate, but it seems you have some practical skills and a job so you're obviously not.

Nothing is free. Any action you take will come back to bite you.

>. My current holdings are 50k LINK and 100k REQ.

LARP

I googled it and it says Arsenic and Antifreeze are slow acting poisons. The problem is how do i deliver a constant dose everyday.

I was thinking of borrowing their car and destroying the brake system or whatever instead. So when they drive it, it will seem like an accident.

Try making ricin or ordering some off a darknet market. Make sure to try it yourself first so you can verify the strength

Are you jewish?

Fuck you. Im not kidding. I really have 50k LINK and 100k REQ. I bought LINK at $0.43 and REQ at 0.00028 ETH.

I tried to cancel my REQ orders the day before the token unlocked but Etherdelta wont let it.

then you are gonna be a fucking millionaire in the next few months with 50k link so shut the fuck up you envyous cunt

just tell your mom and dad to give you money if you are so fucking selfish

i actually lol'd

but seriously this thread is disturbing

i wanna be rich too but money isn't everything OP, get help

Nope, pretty sure I prefer money over my parents. I mean they havent been abusive aside from pushing me so hard to get high grades but I really prefer money over parental love.

kek

agreed.

50,000 link, lives in a third world country and wants his family dead

wow

im not selling during this dip but i am getting a bit sweaty. I made a good amount of cash buying antshares but still this month sucks. LINK could fail nothing is 100% certain.

its just unfair biz, i would trade everything i currently have for basketball skills during my gradeschool and highschool years. fuck these sluts.

my car is top tier in my country YET I CANT EVEN USE IT TO PICK UP CHICKS IN BARS!!! HOW THE FUCK WILL I PICK UP CHICKS WHEN ITS SO HARD TO DRIVE WHILE DRUNK.

Im a shitty driver while sober as it is. Its unfair totally unfair.

>millionaire in the next few months with 50k link
>that would require link to be worth $20 per token
You wish

I can pick up girls because of my above average height but no they are no where near CRUSH OF THE TOWN level looks.

Scum, I hope you get terminal cancer

Yes or No, you're from:
1) the Balkans
2) Lithuania
3) Turkey
4) Brazil

No for all three

I listed 4

>the absolute state of millenials

I'm sure the FBI can help you, OP. You'll be hearing from them no doubt.

hahahaahah i actually smoke 1 pack of marlboro reds per day. I dont really care if I die in my 50s I just want to make it in my short life. Statistics say that it you get cancer in your early years its most likely because of genetics not because of vices.

Either way, if i get terminally sick, my parents are 100% dead. I'll have more reason to take MORE drastic measures.

So happy I have a dad who supports me and would basically buy me anything. Talking of investing in crypto, investing more than 10% of your wealth in it confirms you are a gambler so neither my dad nor me(also add Mark Cuban) would ever do that.
How about saving for 1 year and doing whatever you want with it?
I feel so lucky I have a family who loves me. I am fairly rich but fuck that money if you dont have loved ones
So funny that you wish you to spend all this money on whore who love you for you money and killing those who actually care.
This is the sole reason we have all the bad things happening, fucking man acting just the way his penis asks him to.
You mentioned about a prince killing his dad, yes that did happen. But we also have examples of sons saving their dad by putting their own life at stake. But you sure chose the first example. Every thing that has happened in the past doesnt mean it was right. The nazis gassed the jews all the time, should we do the same now?
Me and my dad together make money. But then there are dads who have sons like you who are not good enough to be paid , feel bad for him

I mean no for all 4, sorry I'm a bit drunk. This dip is fucking over my head.

I didnt realize there are so many third world countries in the world lmao.

My family's money comes from my mom's side. MY DAD DOESNT EVEN INVEST IN INDEX FUNDS FFS.

MY MOM INHERITED THIS SHIT FROM MY GRANDFATHER WHO DIED OF BRAIN CANCER IN HIS 40s. How my grandfather got his money? I dont know. He was dead by the time i was born.

But judging on how much money he got and compared to the average citizen here. Im pretty sure he got it by betraying his fellow countrymen when times were more hectic.

ITS UNFAIR. I can put better use for this money instead of letting them rot it in the bank.

Venezuela? Argentina? Chile?

Nope for all three i swear

(You)

Third world country everyone

Let me see:
>basketball popular
>smoking popular
>free but shitty healthcare
>troubles in the past (40-60 years)
I'm whittling it down, slowly. Romania? Domican republic? Ukraine? Phillipines?

My last guesses.

It's obviously the US of A :^)

He said third world country. Also, the USA didn't have any troubling times in the past 50 years, at least not domestically.

damn you're good. one of the countries you mentioned. im not going to mention which.

kudos user, you actually made me smile even if im in a really dark place right now

You're literally sitting on 100k REQ you'll make it by the EOY stop being a retard

How much money does your family actually have in USD that you would literally kill your father to take control of?

I'm betting ukraine first and romania second.

Philippines

I doubt its Romania as one of the things he complained about was low wages / high income tax. If that was the issue he could just move to another EU country.

I'm going
1) Ukraine
2) Philippines

Agreed. Now who's gonna report to their cops? I imagine attempted murder is frowned upon there.

100% Phillipines.
>ranked 2nd by basketball related google searches
>ranked 45 by cigarette consumption (in front of the others I mentioned)
>100mil population, more than the other 3 I mentioned
>Japanese occupation troubles between 1940s and 1960s, subsequent rebuilding from 1960 onwards, from which OPs grandfather (born circa 1930s) could have profited

>linkie
kek the rabbit hole gets deeper

i dont know exactly but based on the information ive gathered from eavesdropping from my parents i'd get around 300k to 500k (without my brother's share) in fiat. im not sure about properties like land but we own 10 shitty lands inherited from my grandfather.

even if i get these lands its almost impossible for me to sell them, because who the fuck would buy land in the PROVINCE even if they are in hectars? I keep telling my dad that real estate isnt that rock solid as he thinks (inb4 watched the big short). but he keeps thinking real estate is the safest place to be.

JUST ONE WAR WOULD WRECK THE PRICES OF REAL ESTATE. We are about to get justed harder especially with World War 3 immininent because of Kim Jong Un.

we are not first worlders after all so we are relatively poor compared to first worlders

Apparently not dark to kill yourself.

Plus holding link bags. I thought sociopaths were supposed to be smart lmao

Another piece of the puzzle. Proximity to North Korea. Philippines confirmed.

If you're a Filipino, then it's a shame because they're family oriented and many parents are willing to become slaves to other countries to support their families.

Besides, you'll be treated like a king if you just earn $100k per year and it's not that hard in crypto to make it within 3 years. So why rush things to the point of killing your father?

lmao
>I also try to program websites and dapps on the side but its even more hopeless in crypto.

neck yourself subhuman

eh i was in a darker place when i bought ETH at $375. only antshares saved my butt when i bought in at $4.

i split my buy-ins 60-40% ETH/antshares

but still, im getting desperate. I HAVE 10 uncles aunts. THEY ALL INHERITED THEIR MONEY. ONE OF MY UNCLE IS LITERALLY A NEET AND HE IS FAR RICHER THAN ME BECAUSE OF INHERITANCE MONEY.

I WANT TO FUCKING KILL THEM ALL.

You bought Link & REQ ? You need to take yourself out of the gene pool.

IF MY MOTHER WAS AN ONLY CHILD I WOULD BE DROWNING IN MONEY. But for some reason people dont use condoms before.

The inheritance from my grandfather was divided by 10 but still quite large. I FUCKING WISH ALL MY AUNTS AND UNCLES WERE DEAD.

What's the point of "making it" if you can't share it with loved ones?

You only get one father, OP. You need to take care of him.

Lol @ OP worshipping pussy.

You must be a shit programmer if you can't even earn a solid wage. You're like a parasite feeding off the host.

You will realise your stupid mistake in years to come I guarantee it

OP, stop being a fag and tell us which 3rd world shit hole you are from. You want us to give you advise? stop fucking with us.

Fuck OP. I'm struggling to pay rent. I dont own a car, and I work my ass off to earn my money.
I'm happy with the relatively small returns of 1000 here and there. If I had 100k total, I'd be fucking set for the next decade.

Learn to be happy with what you've got or you'll never be happy in your entire life. Trust me.

Watch this film: "Throw Mama from the Train."
>you do not deserve your parents' wealth if you cannot figure out how to adapt the premise of that film to your own situation

He's avoiding that topic after everyone spammed Philippines which means it's Philippines.

He's pretty much told us it's the Phillipines

>>>
> Anonymous (ID: AbcfcuqS) 10/29/17(Sun)15:07:28 No.4097829▶
>You bought Link & REQ ? You need to take yourself out of the gene pool.

But why user? LINK and REQ are aboslutely have good fundamentals but they were only born in the worst month for alts.

Meh, i dont really care. I read a lot of academic journals about everything from cigarettes etc and these two seem like solid buys. I expect you to talkshit more about my investments though since my post about me wanting to kill my parents probably triggered you.

I read the antshares whitepaper back to back and even researched about DBFT and made me buy. Let me tell you, the LINK and REQ whitepaper even made me more bullish than antshares.

but still id be lying if the current prices arent making me sweat.

>linkie a dumbass who can’t make money without killing their parents

God is in heaven. All’s right with the world

I made a ton of money spamming Pay per download PPD (LinkBux, FileIce, etc) $2k per week during my highschool years. I made fake installers of upcoming highly anticipated video games.

But still, I "wont make it" at this rate. I mean income from these scam sites arent really constant. As soon as you get fucked by a copyright complaint the income stream is over.

* have absolutely

shiiiet im losing it.

This is the dumbest troll shit ever

Whats so dumb about that? You obviously arent committed enough about "making it". People in the past kill their parents all the time for power.

Its only religious and cultural bullshit that prevents people from trading their parents for power.

You watched too much Star Wars. You're not Kylo Ren.

Fuck star wars. I only want enough money to make it. Its unfair, totally unfair. I wish i was good at basketball instead of computers.

What does making it mean for you? You said they'd leave you with 500k when they die, so they have money. How about you make your own money here and there, live comfy, and when the time comes you'll inherit their money as well.

ahahuhauahiuahauhauiahaha 500k without the lands. i swear to god id glock them this instant if there is 0% i can get caught.

i dont know honestly im in a really dark place. you do realize my mom beat me up for getting 3 minstakes in an a FUCKING EXAM right!!emldk2jiojior3wjfiozgjtu3ew

its fucking 3 mistakes. i HATE THEM I REALLY FUCKING HATE TAME #Riuefjosd'

>hectares of land
>province

It's confirmed you're from Philippines and you're plan is to sell the land to invest in crypto.

>link and req holder
>father killer
>all theory no action
I can see you as an incompetent son whom father doesn't believe him that much. An impatient kid who tries to rush things because he can see other people on the internet doing it big.

The best course of action is to convince your dad with jew tactics, think of win/win situation, seduce his greed of money.

>I wish i was good at basketball instead of computers.
Lol. you just want to be noticed by the pajeets in the Philippines. Your dreams are so low, like most third world people.

stop it. get some help.

THOSE 3 MISTAKES ARE BECAUSE OF A PEN COLOR. I GOT -3 FROM THE EXAM BECAUSE OF SHADING USING HTE WRONG PEN COLOR IN AN EXAM.

MY FUCKING MOM BEAT ME UP BECAUSE OF THIS. ITS UNFAIR. ITS FUCKING UNFAIR!

IVE STUDIED SO HARD. I know you thingk im larping but im literally crying right now. HAHUHAUIDHISU I could hire hookers but they probably wont understand because they dont even know what crypto is.

Look buddy my father loves me so much i can confirm it. He knows im planning to kill him because i told him back in 2012 but he still always visits me in my NEET condo kissing me in my forhead telling me that hell always love me.

The one who is abusing me is my mother. She beats me up for 3 mistakes in some shitty in exam.

Even though my father loves me, killing him is the only way ill make it. Since my mother made him in charge of the finances. If he dies ill for sure be in charge of the finances.

My mother is not fat there is literally 0% chance of her dying before my father. FUCK HER. I guess girls who were hot in hteir teens are absolute sociopaths. fucjk her

ITS NOT MY FAULT FOR ONLY HAVING A BLACK PEN. I SWEAR ILL PULL AN ELLIOT RODGER IF IM STILL NOT RICH IN 2019

Livestream it at least

HAHAHAHAHAH faggot extrajudiucial killing is allowed in the Phillloppines and you're going tto report me to ht e cops? fuck you

Is it time to call the Phillippine police on this premeditated patricide & matricide?

As if they;lll care. Duterte made killing legal my borther

It's your fault for not being properly prepared for the exam; after all: you were given ample warning to show up on time in the possession of a pen with the correct color of ink.

Absolutely. Link them the thread. I'm sure Hiro will cooperate in bringing this dangerous criminal to justice.

You are Filipino, which are probably the most emotional and disgusting creatures right next to curry niggers. Go back to call centers. Us emotionally stable, smarter, taller whites will take over for you.

You, sir, are a cunt.