Just smoked 132 cigarettes today

>just smoked 132 cigarettes today

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>vaped a gallon of milk in 17 minutes

>36 eggs for din din

kek

>sniffed flour and butter to save time on baking bread

>Snorted all the protein powder again

>enemad the whole creatine tub again

>Shoved 12 bananas up my anus because my mouth hole was preoccupied with the 2 gallons of peanut butter I was eating again

>no time to make coffee
>had to eat 2 spoonfuls and wash it down with hot water

>just shat out a full, intact jar of peanut butter

Why is that picture so disturbing?

its not, you're a pussy

It's a Russian bootleg of wojak

>63 eggs for breaky

>swallowed 8 whole raw eggs for brekky

Used two scoops of laxatives instead of whey proton again

>200 word essay due in 4 hours

>snorted 200mg caffeine

Just smoked 1 cigarette today. I'm so metal.

>0 matches on tinder after 3 years

get your shit together

Try Grindr

>tfw homos don't even want to fuck you.

>one spoken word due by the year 15517

>accidentally didn't wipe the communal squat plug before insertion

>"accidentally"

>accidentally dropped the poop scissors into the manlet pit

>my gym partner cleaned my squat plug for me with his mouth but forgot to say "no homo"

>tfw I had to manually snip my shit with the Crab Claw
>the crab wasn't friends with me either

>not using matches and tinder to light 132 cigarettes

But he just said he has no matches you cunt

Cunts are smelly.

>ate a whole box of mini wheats
> with 1/2 gallon whole milk
>and half a container of oats

All in one sitting in about 30 minutes while watching "My 600 lbs life"

You are the 600lb life, user

If you're bulking that actually doesn't sound TOO bad. At least you're eating shit tons of healthy shit. When I binge I'll eat like four packets of ramen along with whatever else shit I find.

>mini wheats
>"good shit"

Don't get me wrong, I love wheat thins more than I should, but they're not good by any means

>gym falcon stole my creatine bucket

>No oats for for breakfast tomorrow and the store is closed.
>Will have to kill myself at dawn to avoid dishonour.

>mini wheats

They are a cereal not a cracker pal.

Just?

You are doing the right thing, son.

Shut the fuck up I'll eat them however I want to

>Gym partner cucked me with the cardio bunny

Test

>took double dose of creatine suppository

>finally get courage to ask cardiobunny out
>to my surprise, she says yes
>we have a fun date and totally hit it off
>back to her place
>start making out
>she pulls out a strapon and forces me to take in the ass for 12 hours afterward
>still can't sit down

>literally just ate a whole mud cake, a foot-long chocolate swiss roll, 10 caramel cake bars, and 2 huge strawberry cinnamon scrolls
>could probably still eat some more

This is not a joke, HOW am I still fucking hungry?

Jesus, that pic makes me sad.

Sugar with no fiber is like the least filling substance known to man. It's like eating air that has hella calories. It also causes your brain to release seratonin similar to opiates (though much less) making you crave more.

>Dining courts close at 9
>Had to get a thing of ramen and one of those "beef steak" things at the convenience store in my gym
>Sitting here eating teriayaki flavored ramen and drinking kombucha
>Supposed to be cutting down on sugar

>sitting in the hospital
>overnight stay
>didn't want to order from the menu because it felt awkward
>had to go to the vending machine for some good and a clif bar to stop the hunger headache

it's ok we all have to die someday

how could you do this to cat

...

...

It's a video game character you autist. Want me to call the local tard wranglers for you?

>On my 47th waffle in the hospital waiting room.
>Ran out of syrup by the 17th waffle
>Mouth is really dry and I've vommited 4 times now.

Why, you planning to visit?

>his hospital only has a single syrup bottle

Did you ask for blueberry IVs?

lmao

>He has no idea just how much syrup I use per waffle.

God damn I want some Perkins pancakes

I go through 6 of these bad boys per meal. I blood is now too viscous to have blood sample.

That's mixing syrup not pancake syrup you dumbass

Got a problem with that?

Yes

What if I put my mixing syrup straight into the batter, does that Jimmy your Jangles?

...

>just ate 2 "family size" bags of chips for dinner
[spoiler]I wish I was joking[/spoiler]

>One single thought due by the time the sun engulfs the Earth as a red dwarf
>Can't stop shitposting on Veeky Forums

>accidentally swallowed the cigarette butt

this is fake, of course, but I loled slightly at the thought of someone diligently opening up the app every day for three years, swiping every female right, and not once getting a single match

lol

>Buying groceries
>All healthy as always
>See a family size bag of salt and vinegars
>Stand in front of the display raising and lowering my hand battling my will
>Eventually just get it
>Eat the whole bag
>Next day all the skin on my tongue is falling off

Salt and vinegars are my weakness

>be sick
>miss penis inspection day at the gym

>forgot to tip the protein shake mixer
>he ties my weightlifting shoes together

Lmao are you the king of Albania?

Started smoking again yesterday after a 7 month break. I haven't managed stress well recently, and a stoge calms me down at the expense of health.

user... you must be an ugly motherfucker
>tell me something i dont know

I would tell you to kys but youre already going about it so enthusiastically so just keep doing you m8 ^^

>HOW am I still fucking hungry?
You're not eating enough protein and fiber, the two things that will reduce hunger the most. And given your eating habits, you're also obviously a fat fuck with serious leptin resistance, so you're likely hungry all the time. Yes, simply being fat makes you hungry and hunger leads to more fat gain. It's a catch 22.

dansplan.com/assets/Why_We_Gain_Fat_eBook.pdf

>ate 2 pizzas and 3 pints of ice cream yesterday
>ice cream was that halo top meme
>it's a planned high carb day, I have 2 a week
>I'm actually getting leaner eating like shit 2 days a week

It...feels wrong

>old but gold

How the fuck do you have enough time in your day to smoke that much? What the fuck is wrong with you?!?

>>I'm actually getting leaner eating like shit 2 days a week
>It...feels wrong
I know what you mean. I'm currently losing weight while regularly eating candy and pizza. But I realize I could cut more and faster just eating clean all the time. I just find it hard to do that without going insane.

So ugly even the Bots ignore him

>ate eight chicken burgers at once

I'm not THAT bad.

REEEE the roaches got to the protons again

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This better be a joke

W-What do you mean?

>lost my gym buddy at Chuck E Cheese again

How old are you?