ITT normie/dyel logic

ITT normie/dyel logic

>mom eating "healthier"
>entire bag of baby carrots and small beats
>half a container of ranch
>tell her shes not eating healthier
>"it tastes good though"

>PT showing newcomer routine at gym
>"I can sub out the leg days with arms, right?"
>kid says he wants to go rangers after high school
>9% bf arms but legs look like pretzel sticks

>"See you later! I'm going to go exercise!"
>Proceeds to walk at a slow pace for 2 hours
>...
>"I don't know why I can't lose any weight! I work out for hours everyday!"

The ranch one really gets me.

So often I see women insisting on eating salads, but they drench it in ranch.

May as well just eat McDonald's at that point.

>damn user, you've been training for 2 years non stop? why don't you look like those fitness guys with abs and stuff yet??

literally got so depressed when i heard this. I thought normies knew about roiders? guess not.......

If normies knew about roiders Bowflex wouldn't have sold.

>2 years
>not having abs

2 year bulk? I mean dude you should have a decent amount of muscle mass?

Jason genova looks like a dyel because he can't cut properly

>entire bag of baby carrots and small beats
>beats

>not eating your beats

Can't be a man any other way

Lmao, Rangers as in Army? Tell him to run, run, run then run some more, then once he is completely tired of running, run some more with a rucksack.

I cant believe how many normies just lift upper body and dont run and dont work on legs at all and say they are going to be super good in the military because they can lift.

>not beating your meats
Never gonna make it

>small beats

cmon you fucking retard

I feel like Jason's lost a lot of mass recently

>not meating your beers

Typically DYEL

Not him, but I've been 3 year bulking from 145lbs. I don't want to cut til I hit 200 because it's so fucking hard to gain weight.

>friend gets sent to fat camp because his parents made him go
>he was pretty fat so it seemed good for him
>he comes back a month later looking a lot better but wasn't very lean
>he wanted to get down to a low bodyfat of around 10% so he starts eating in a "deficit" of 1000 calories
>This was before I started lifting so I couldn't really give him any advice
>he was eating high caloric processed foods and simple sugars so he wasn't really in a deficit
>he claimed he didn't eat as much as he used to so he thought he would get shredded
>He also did low impact workouts so he wasn't really burning any extra calories either
>He gained all his weight back in about 7 months

3 years? Just eat more. You should have hit that in just over a year.

>milk few days old
>"i didn't open it so it cant be spoiled"

fuck everybody in this world

Former dairy farmer here, so many people toss their milk when it gets its best before, fucking normies, just harden up, it's sour not off.

I drink it up until the day of, after that it's out. Why the fuck do people buy more milk than they use in the first place? You should never have to even drink it sour.

Isn't the best by date a guideline anyway? I drink milk all the time that is sometimes a week past it's best by date and it tastes exactly the same.

are you implying there's something wrong with a bag of carrots

>just eat more

This is normie/dyel advice right here.

Because according to this it means that your workouts are great, you know exactly what you are doing, and the only thing you are doing wrong is not eating enough.

user, chances are your workout routine and progression is shit, but that's too hard to fix so just keep adding more calories until you're a heavier fat ass.

Is there any actual difference between bowflex and a normal combination workout machine?

>sister is 300lbs
>"Today is the day I start losing weight!"
>weighs herself
>buys organic food
>makes tacos dripping with fat
>'healthy' cakes and cookies
>salads composed almost 50% by weight of oil/ranch
>constantly buys McDonalds, KFC, Chinese, and other shitty fastfood almost every day
>doesn't track or measure anything
>thinks one serving of something is an overfilled plate
>drinks every single fucking night
>complains to me constantly that she isn't losing weight
>doesn't exercise at all
She refuses to follow any advice I give her. I tell her to stop eating fastfood and she refuses since she's eating 'empty calories' so it's okay to eat like a pig. Exercising? "My knees hurt user, maybe tomorrow." Not eating candy? "Muh bludsugah"

It's like some people are trying to kill themselves.

I didnt say it was his main problem. But if he is having problems gaining weight... Especially over three years.

>first time visiting my mom since I moved to a different state
>shes watching Dr.Oz with her friend
>My mother is probably 300 pounds, her friend is closer to 400, covered in self tanner and has that "I need to speak with your manager haircut"
>I've lost 30 pounds since I saw her last
>"oh my gawd user, you look terrible, I can see your cheekbones and your arms are covered in veins"
>her fatty friend chuckles as her fat ripples like a wave while she bounces up and down on the couch from her jabba the hut like laughter
>tell her I feel great
>"dont you fucking lie to me, you need to eat something, I dont want you turnin inta one o those exercise freaks"
>tell her I'm actually stronger and healthier than last time
>"Skinny people arent healthy, are you on drugs? Are you anorexic or something?"
>realize whatever I say is pointless, buy some kfc for us all and wolf it down to make everyone happy
>"Tastes a lot better than carrots and celery, huh"
>Yup

I can't wait to pay for my mothers hospital bills when she needs open heart surgery in the near future.

this. so many normies dont seem to understand how much cardio and endurance military is

>meet some chicks bf
>oh yeah man im training to be a navy seal
>incline dumbell press 65s for sets of 15
>does a bunch of meme chest workouts
>leaves
>all the girls eat it all up

Seems like you're shit at giving advice and have retarded genes. Since that's probably caused by decades of inbreeding I say why stop a good thing. Fuck her.

drink your calories in your shakes

Quit being black

>hey user I'm going on a diet

Awsome dad! How many calories a day are you going for?

>Calories? Those don't matter. Its all about portion size

dad no

>*proceeds to make tuna with 5 tbps of mayo*


yeah I've kind of accepted that my dad is going to die around his mid 60s and he's too stubborn to listen to me or do anything about it

There's nothing wrong with eating a lot of carrots but just hide the ranch or something. She should be warned though that eating an entire bag of carrots will give her the most painful shits of her life.

No it won't. Is your body allergic to fiber or something?

maybe i dunno. i also swallowed a lot of blood this week because I had five or so nose bleeds so that might have been it. kind of hard to pinpoint

Nah. She loves the idea of losing weight, but she doesn't want to actually put any effort into it.

fucking normies not drinking raw milk
>tfw it wasn't until I left vermont that I found out most people dont like raw milk

That's because raw milk has actual physical chunks of fat that float in it you dumb fucker. I don't want 300kcal for a cup of fuckin milk

I'm white. My mom is just a bitter, divorced, fat and single Long Island bitch.

This but from my dad after less than 6 months of lifting

I mean we are the second most fit state so I'd say that our raw milk isn't hurting too much

It's unnecessary calories for no real gain in flavor or use.

Dude... all the fat bitches floundering on treadmills... why?! I want to cane their fat asses with a wide grip lat bar like a jockey whips a horse. "Faster you fucking farm animal"!

just tell her CICO and that there's no way around it unless he breaks the laws physics

it tastes so much better, what are you talking about? Its so much richer of a flavor, pasteurizing stops almost all flavors that develop in raw milk

How old where you when you started to view your parents objectively?

>my mom though wildly successful as a career woman took the feminist pill and divorced my father and now lives alone with cats and a huge prescription med habbit.

by that logic ill just eat a twix instead of a bowl of oats because it tastes better

Seriously this. Raw milk has like 3 times as many calories. Flavor be damned, milk is not a "drink it for flavor" type of thing.

Like I said until leaving Vermont for college I didn't know that raw milk wasn't a normal thing, when you grow up used to something then change to what you consider to be worse in everyway why would you stick with an inferior product? I'm not overweight, almost no one I know that drinks raw milk is overweight. Yeah if you're morbidly obese obviously don't start drinking raw milk.

>How old where you when you started to view your parents objectively?

Pretty young, probably 10 or 11. Dad up and left when I was 9 so I got to realize pretty quick that even my own parents that I thought of as superheros can be complete fuckups like everyone else. Still love my mother but fucking a she's bitter and dumb.

This right here. Be sure to get that peanut/almond butter in and you'll do fine

>Like I said until leaving Vermont
You're lucky you escaped from this liberal hell.

im not saying you should feel bad for drinking raw milk but you were acting like raw milk is so much more superior to regular milk in your earlier posts. this is a fitness board so you have to realize everything you say will be heard through a fitness lens. its kind of like if someone posted on fit saying "fucking normies not eating chips"

oh no I'm back, I left for college. I absolutely love it here, sure montpelier and burlington are liberal as fuck, but the majority of vermont is backwoods shit. My closest neighbor to me is about a quarter mile away and knows to leave well enough alone.

I'm doing it right now

well you also are way off base with how many calories you think are in raw milk, it obviously varies from cow to cow as it hasn't been homogenized, but it's not 300 calories per cup

It keeps mah powder dry!!!

...

a pint is 2 cups you mong

Took me till high school when the teenage angst kicked in. Even then I still didn't realize they were tragicly human till early twenties.

How perceptive of you user.

Where the fuck are you from?

i wasnt the one that posted about the caloric content. anyways, it doesnt apply because i drink fat free milk. i dont drink milk because it tastes good, i drink it because it makes my protein shakes taste good.

Maybe that's why you're 140lbs you little pussy shit.

If you're truly going for low calorie have you tried almond milk? Its lower calorie than even skim milk and desu tastes roughly the same

Half as much protein

The US? if you want it in britbong its about 1.6 cups, either way a pint != a fucking cup anywhere on this earth

Fuck off amerishitter

either way it still isn't a cup, sorry you got caught being retarded

lol there it is. the fundamental misunderstanding of nutrition. increased fat consumption doesnt make you stronger. hate to break it to you my man. i get my calories elsewhere

i havent, but ive been considering it since, to my understanding, you dont have to refrigerate it or something. it does seem more expensive though

bulking is easy m8 just put some peanut butter/milk/bananas/protein powder and that's an easy 1000+ calories. Also snack on peanuts. Cutting on the other hand...

yeah the guy who called you a pussy wasn't me, they make two different kinds of almond milk, if you don't want to refrigerate it make sure that you buy the shelf stable version or it will spoil just like normal milk

Honestly my mom tries the same shit on me and I just tell her "that's retarded" and keep doing what I'm doing.

it sounds like a good milk alternative. my parents tried to switch me over to rice milk when i was a kid but that shit was foul. i told them it was worse than just having nothing at all. and i know in the lactose intolerant community almond milk is preferred.

You may want to ease up on the coke

dont tell me how to live my life

op here
is not me

i just get nose bleeds a lot. this string of nosebleeds started with one, but then every time i sneezed it opened up again. people thought i did coke in HS apparently. but no. just have DYEL veins

Enjoy your tumor user.

lies

jason also lost strength and mass due to shitty posture, meds, diet, lack of dedicated training, genetics, 11 car crashes

not just his fat. he wouldn't look like adam harper era cut if he lost the fat, he'd look dyel.

Kombucha is usually significantly below 100 calories a bottle.

Because raw milk makes most people violently ill and can be filled with bacteria, viruses, and parasites.

Jesus, grow up.

You are not the property of your parents and if you can't survive the peer pressure you get from two fat old women you're never going to make it.

What a fucking baby can't handle some mastitis, you have an immune system fucking use it. Raw milk won't kill you.

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