Be socially retarded

Check out rsd to help with your social development

I've been watching Shift from julien, and he says to visit clubs

one problem is he doesn't give a lot of advice in what to say. other than to just get experiences by talking to girls and recalibrating

...

Just go to general admission clubs, girls there aren't as attractive tho.
The harder to get into the club the more beautiful girls and high-level men you'll find

Just like in all things practice is what you need. Resign yourself that the first couple attempts will not result in much. It takes time to find a person whose interests match yours. Also be ready to ask lots of questions, people love to talk about themselves and will remember you fondly for asking

general admission, as in no cover?

are nightclubs good places to practice? a lot of posts in this thread are against them. where else can i go

>asking questions
i can do this. but how do i keep a girl interested in answering my questions?

how do i make a girl laugh, and what do i do when i don't have stories of my own to tell

go to bars by myself and do what?

sit at the bar, then wait for a girl to sit at the bar too, hope she's alone and then get up from my seat and go and talk to her? do people actually do this?

If you have social anxiety loud clubs and parties are the last place you wanna go.
I'm only saying that from my experience because I can't handle large groups or parties. It just feels too suffocating.

Do drugs
>coke
>mdma
go to club and dance like a mdfaka and hope that a girl dances with you and fuck her. Easy.

Never go to a nightclub stag, people go there to dance and drink with their friends not to meet new people. If you want to pick up chicks youll need to go with at least a wingman

youre better off going to raves, they are much more inclusive and the people are less inhibited and willing to talk to strangers

>paying for entry to a place where you'll pay more money for drinks
explain to me how this isn't a scheme by (((them)))

i want to reduce my social anxiety through exposure therapy, which is why i want to go to clubs

not concerned with getting girls
i don't do drugs and i don't know how to dance

i don't have a wingman, but some girls do go home with guys they meet at clubs
it does seem like most people go with their friends to clubs

people don't buy enough drinks, cover is a fixed determinable income stream

Serious question-

Has anyone ever picked up a stranger at a club?
The only time I ever went home with a girl from a club/bar was when I can there with a group of friends.
Girls seems to stay away from strangers in these places.

>not concerned getting girls
then whats the issue? every girl is atleast somewhat drunk and prob in drugs too
When you do drugs you know how to dance

>then whats the issue?
i mean, i am concerned with getting girls as i'm a virgin
but my main concern right now is getting rid of my social anxiety, because i think that's more important

>going to a club alone
unless you are charismatic as fuck, you'll probably spend most of the night without anyone to talk to. go in a group.

if you're american, good luck. american clubs are trash. if you're in somewhere without a terrible club culture (UK, Amsterdam, Berlin etc) then you'll do much much better. i honestly can't express how shit american nightclubs are.

A girl is much more likely to hook up with a friend of a friend than a total stranger. Ive only ever actually fucked one girl from a club and she was a fat drunk latina, so if you do manage to pull it wont be a pretty girl. Ive been raving and clubbing for 4 years, ive had tons of pretty girls dance on my dick and make out with me but taking them home is a totally different story. Girls wont fuck complete strangers unless they are ubermensch chad. if youre just trying to get pussy go fuck a hooker and make friends. A guy with no friends is a probably the #1 red flag for girls

Molly Molly Molly Molly

If you have decent hand eye coordination and aren't TOO old you could try ballroom dancing
it's pretty fun and a decent way to meet decent girls desu.
As long as you're not too autistic or overbearing you should do very very well there.

How old are you?
I think social anxiety goes away within age, atleast with me it did, getting rid of your virginity is also gonna boost your ego so you wont feel like a loser.
Get wasted and fuck wasted hoes until youre somewhat normal

>go in a group.
i have zero friends though

i'm not trying to hook up with a girl, trying to gain social skills in an environment where women are supposed to be more open, and where if i screw up, they will forget about it (as opposed to trying to talk to coworkers and making them instantly realize i'm autismo)

h-how do i get friends?

i've looked at dancing classes in my area (i live in the suburbs), the pictures have a lot of older people (40 and over).

though i was thinking of trying a dancing class at the local college, but maybe that would make me seem more like a creep

shock therapy or flooding doesn't work most of the time for social anxiety or social phobia. If you think it is really that bad then go see a therapist to work through it with them.

Why don't you have any friends?

>i have zero friends though
honestly, there are better places to go than clubs to meet girls and people in general without any mates. bars are better because its more socially acceptable to go to them alone. alcohol will still be flowing so everyone will be nice and loose.

how come you have no friends?

you don't have friends because you are unsufferable to be around.

read how to win friends and influence people and use it as your bible for a year.

go from zero friends to dozens, no problem. it's filled with simple practical advice you can use in your day to day interaction with strangers to appear friendly, more approachable, more interesting, kind, understanding, likeable, a good leader, dependable. and it's very little work on your end, since it exploits every person's innate weaknesses.

read the book it's short and should be mandatory reading for every 4channer.

I don't know what clubs are like where you're from, but I made loads of social gains by going to this underground rave club in my town and doing some xtc. I initially always went alone but by now I've developed a decent size social circle and lost my virginity.

You need a good club though, if you go to clubs like you see in the movies (are most nightclubs really like that?), it probably wont work.

i don't have friends because i'm socially awkward

only had a couple of friends growing up, but they've found other friends

how do i approach people at bars? the girls there are more likely to be with their friends

i posted this every time i've been to a bar, girls are with her girl or guy friends. usually at a table, rarely at the bar itself

>it's filled with simple practical advice you can use in your day to day interaction with strangers
i usually don't talk to strangers on a day to day basis

i've read the book too

Don't go to a club. I often go to clubs in a big group and we just tend to stick together. Ppl in clubs can be quite protective of each other. Random/unknown guys who start trying to dance with our girl mates will be pushed out by the guys in the group. This isn't any personal really but there are so many fucking creeps out there you never know.
The only real opportunity to talk to people is if there is a smoking area. You can ask a girl if she has a lighter/cig and try to talk to her I guess but it's much easier just to go to bars really.
But as soon as they find out you just came on your own it's game over really.

Better to find a hobby or take some classes or something e.g. language learning groups (we call them language cafes here).

How old are you?

>i've read the book too

then you need clinical help obviously, the book is written so a child could follow through with it, you didn't apply any of the advice in your own life because of a problem that requires a professional to sort out. probably childhood rape suppressed.

are you asking us how to talk to people?

i don't think talking to random folk at a bar is going to solve any of your problems. you obviously have some deeper problems than a simple lack of friends. you can't expct anyone to find you interesting enough to take time out of their night away from their friends to spend the night with you unless they are a girl and they fancy you. desu, i don't go to bars to talk to random people, though if someone strikes up a bit of drunken banter with me i'll roll with it.

Nightclubs are a colossal waste of time and money. Don't go to them.

If you have very little social interaction to begin with, saying people's names every time you talk to them isn't gonna magically make you friends dude
Honestly the book is about becoming more likeable when you already have a large social circle, not about creating one.

what city?

what about approaching girls who are in girl only groups?

language learning does seem interesting

30

Mid sized town in the Netherlands. I have a feeling US night clubs are very different though (assuming most ppl here are american)

>30
You shouldn't really be hitting night clubs then, especially not alone.
What did you do in your youth?

>everyone there thinks I'm autistic

>see co-workers who are good friends with each other

Because you need to actually talk to them, or be good enough looking/mysterious that they make the first move.

>but my main concern right now is getting rid of my social anxiety, because i think that's more important
As it should be, being in/around group situations is how most normies/not-10/10 chads get girls. You need social capital/trust before girls will take interest in you. Being friendless is a red-flag that you have something wrong with you, even if you don't.

>i want to reduce my social anxiety through exposure therapy, which is why i want to go to clubs

Get non-lifting hobbies instead and find meet-ups/places for them. If you want an even easier time (assuming you're under 30), take some hobby-like classes at a community college (art, ceramics, etc.). There's also private classes for stuff like art, rock-climbing, mma/sparring, etc. which you can try too.

It sounds like you overthink too much and lack enough exposure to pop-culture/other interests (sports, the arts, music, etc.) to have stuff to talk about with people. If you want friends and to get out of your shell, find stuff that YOU like and can be passionate about, besides lifting (nobody cares IRL what your bench is, just that you look good).

It doesn't have to be grand, or particularly unique. If you love Big Bang Theory and Always Sunny, then there's plenty of people who are also boring/normie enough to talk to about that.

Also, fuck clubs.
>parties/group hangouts with friends > classes > bars > clubs
In order of what's most fun/easiest to meet people/grills at.

Jesus Christ. 30

30 isn't too old to go to a nightclub, it's the alone bit that's a problem. And well it depends on the club of course. If it's a techno club in a big city that attracts reputable DJs then you can be in your 50s and 60s and no one will give a shit.

But if it's a club that is frequented by uni students at the weekend and plays solely chart music then yeah don't do that.

Not that guy but when I end up hanging out with a random girl in a club its because we struck up conversation when she was alone or maybe with 1 other girlfriend. Smoking is great for this or if you're in line for the bathroom or waiting to be served at the bar. Just start talking to her and she'll let you know soon enough whether she cares to continue talking to you. If she doesn't, you try again next time you go out to smoke.

Why the fuck are you changing so late in life?
It would be MUCH easier if you had pulled your finger out of your ass in your early twenties instead

This guy again. People are right when they say most people will consider you being alone a red flag. Sometimes people are impressed by it though because most people wouldnt dare to do shit like that on their own. One thing that I've often successfully used to counter this is to say I was going to go together with a female friend but she bailed at the last moment. (has to be an event with tickets though, to explain why you still went yourself). Most girls will be comforted by the idea that you have female friends, it really helps to get the idea of 'creepy loner' out of their heads.

Someone take me under their wing and teach me the bantz pls

different user, but rock bottom confidence was it for me. Socially awkward since childhood. Would look at how effortless extroverts socialized and got it set in my mind it was just an inherent thing you were born with. Awkward and disand was inherently what I was fated to be.

Think they call it a static mindset vs a growth mindset. Whether or not you have faith that you can change. Trying to change cause while I've been somewhat content in isolation it really feels like something in my mind is atrophying. Need some outside stimulation from other people instead of running circles in my own head.

You have to set your frame right that you go to night clubs to have fun not that you are a loser.

>approachin 32
>no friends
>just started lifting
>utter introvert and socially awkward
>still virgin with near-zero female attraction
>tfw this thread and I'm older

suicide really does sound like a good solution right about now.

Just get a dog and buy hookers

>buy hookers
you mean rent.
I think in my current state, after all this time, having short awkward sex with a complete stranger who really wants nothing to do with me, would be completely underwhelming and convince me not even sex is worth it.

Sex is overrated man.
Yes it's more satisfying fucking a girl you love, but in the end I can just whack my dick and end up with the same satisfaction.
Gains is where the real satisfaction lies.

stayed in my room alone
played games mostly

thanks for the advice

i've tried
in university i joined clubs. i still didn't know how to talk to people though

I really don't feel like living anymore.

Either kill yourself or don't complain about it. The choice is totally yours, and if you choose to not kill yourself then your existence is demonstrating that you prefer life over death. If you prefer life over death then do not complain about life when the only alternative is death.

>go to bars by myself and do what?
drink until you cant anymore

>If you prefer life over death then do not complain about life
What? If you love something but find it flawed, you can't complain about it? Why shouldn't he try to fix his life instead?

>are nightclubs good places to practice? a lot of posts in this thread are against them.

do you even know what clubs are about?
>ultra loud music blasting from giant speakers, talking to people is nearly impossible
>pretty much all the people are drunk, some will be high on stimulants like mdma
>only reason chicks go to clubs is to get showered with attention from legions of horny dudes who hit on them non stop
>only reason dudes go to clubs is to hit on chicks, trying to take one home and fuck

if you are a social autist, a nightclub is going to be the least enjoyable experience you could find on the planet. you would unironically feel better on some godforsaken battlefield in the syrian desert than you would in a nightclub.

>go to nightclub
>music is too loud, can't talk to girls unless you're yelling really loudly
>bartenders ignore you
>can't dance so you're just copying whatever the other guys you see doing

Bars are better. Quieter, bartenders make good chat if it's slow, and they're open right after you're done work.

Take some xtc and try enjoying something for once in your life instead of literally being the "my feet hurt" meme

>don't vent in an anonymous space
>life or death idc u can choose, just don't complain

What kind of black and white world do you live in; that everyone either kills themselves, loves their life, or is a perfect stoic?

He should absolutely try to improve his life. I never said he shouldn't. Complaining improves nothing. It's a useless emotional exercise. If your life can be improved, then improve it, don't complain. If your life can't be improved, and it is less desirable than death, then just kill yourself.

It is objectively black and white in that everyone who is alive and has agency chooses to live because they value living more than they value death. Anyone who kills themselves values death more than they value life.

>. I never said he shouldn't
>Either kill yourself or don't complain about it
>do not complain about life when the only alternative is death
So either he should kill himself because there's no alternative, or prove that he loves his life? What are you on about? Are you even old enough to drink? What kind of simplistic perspective is that?

The only alternative to living is to be dead, yes, not an especially controversial assertion. I never stated he shouldn't improve his state of living, and I've already added that he should in fact improve his state of living.

I'm sorry OP, but the train has departed.
You missed out on life and have to make due with your current existence.
Regret is a bad emotion.

>You missed out on life

nah. he only missed out on normie life. there's still plenty of shit he can do to leave a mark on the world.
>go fight in a war
>plan and execute a political assassination of some kind
>cook up drugs in your basement

life has a lot more to offer than being a wagecuck and trying to get with normie sluts

First of all, we don't have complete agency over ourselves. This way of thinking is some hoodoo actualization bullshit. We have as much agency over ourselves as we have executive function, for one. And a depressed person on the verge of suicide will likely have reduced executive function as a symptom of depression. Does that mean they value life less, even though they aren't in their right mind? I don't know if your way of looking at this accounts for questions like that.

So I'm gonna rephrase and say that your philosophy seems too reductionist to explain how abstract concepts like life and death weigh in a person's mind. Especially when being dead is unfathomable by design. And to go on, they exist as opposites in your line of thought. One exists in contrast to another. You are either alive, or dead. So can you fathom, without knowing what death is, what being alive even means? We have probably wondered this ever since we've had a concept of self, and you're telling user that it's one or the other so he better just man up and choose.

It sounds to me more like something you've come up with to cope with suicidal thoughts, and are now projecting it onto another person's problems. I don't know how helpful that is.

but are they good places to practice social skills? i'm still watching Shift, by one of the RSD guys, and he explains why clubs are the best places to talk to girls and improve "game". that day game is harder because girls are busy, but they are more approachable at clubs

see how do i talk to people at bars? wait until they sit next to me? wait until someone sits at the bar (if ever) and then approach them?

>go fight in a war
30 is a bit old to join the army, don't you think?
But he could become Walter White yeah

Many bars are crowded areas witj smoking areas and shit, just get drunk and chat people up

>are they good places to practice social skills?
talk to coworkers during break time

>i'm still watching Shift, by one of the RSD guys, and he explains why clubs are the best places to talk to girls and improve "game"
PUA shit and "game" is very specific. that's not how you learn general social skills, and if you are an antisocial autist in the first place then you will have a hard time applying pua game in the first place.

The fuck, everyone saying clubs aren't good for talking to girls are full of shit.

People go there to have fun, girls are actually trying to get laid and they're not afraid to get touchy.

It would be 5 times better with a buddy to go with though, if you're at a uni it'd be easy, if you just work full time and you aren't close to your coworkers you're fucked. I don't know what to tell you in that case. I got lucky with my coworkers

im not talking about joining the army. military of most nations does nothing but sit in base and do an occasional exercise.
im talking about fighting for some kind of militia or parastate. in the 90s there were the yugoslav wars where foreign volunteers could fight, right now there is the syrian civil war where foreign volunteers can fight.

He's 30.
Going alone to a night club as a 30 years old antisocial guy is a bad idea.

>30
ok bruh this is your last harah. You are not too old. But your window is like 5 more years.

I'm rooting for you bruh. Your gonna make it.

Join Crossfit, good way to meet people

What city do you live in? I work with some EDM clubs in LA, I'll take you, free entry and we skip the line. Veeky Forumsizen to Veeky Forumsizen

i can try visiting a bar near me. though every one i look at offers food, like a restaurant + bar.

is it bad to be a guy who goes to a bar alone? at least with a club, i can say my friends are elsewhere in the club

coworkers already know i'm autistic though

thanks

suburbs of Toronto

>coworkers already know i'm autistic though

unless you did something retarded (shit your pants tier retarded) they dont. autists like us tend to massively overthink shit - chances are they barely know you at all and just see you as a somewhat quiet dude. thats it.

>First of all, we don't have complete agency over ourselves. This way of thinking is some hoodoo actualization bullshit. We have as much agency over ourselves as we have executive function, for one. And a depressed person on the verge of suicide will likely have reduced executive function as a symptom of depression. Does that mean they value life less, even though they aren't in their right mind? I don't know if your way of looking at this accounts for questions like that.

I agree, agency is not a constant and I think I expressed that in my post. I defined the set of people to whom I was referring as having agency, in this case evidently regarding the ability to make value judgements, which is the norm. A depressed person may easily apply different values to aspects of their life than a non-depressed person would, but ultimately their suicide is a value judgement in the way I described.

>So I'm gonna rephrase and say that your philosophy seems too reductionist to explain how abstract concepts like life and death weigh in a person's mind. Especially when being dead is unfathomable by design. And to go on, they exist as opposites in your line of thought. One exists in contrast to another. You are either alive, or dead. So can you fathom, without knowing what death is, what being alive even means? We have probably wondered this ever since we've had a concept of self, and you're telling user that it's one or the other so he better just man up and choose.

Being dead is not unfathomable. There are many ways to conceive of or analogize non-existence. Your description is correct only insofar as we will never experience death, by definition. Never being able to experience death does not mean we cannot experience life, so I'm not sure your argument makes sense here. People can try to describe life with various definitions and scopes, but that does not speak in any way to the fact that it is a binary opposite of death, which is ultimately non-existence.

i think they do think of me as a quiet dude, but also not interesting

i can see coworkers being close friends with each other, like asking each other out to coffee and to grab lunch

some people asked me out for lunch when i started, but since then, nothing, after they realize i don't say anything and i'm boring

Are you good looking?
What kind of work do you do?
Could be easy to solve your problems

you could try gettign a job at a different place maybe

Eww

Nightclubs are retarded. Unless you are a genuine 9 or 10, they're traps.

If you're below that, the best strategy is to smuggle some cocaine and find some slut who wants some.

Find a hobby and find a more sociable guy friend who can actually show you places and shit and in the process, maybe even find a girl.

But don't go to a fucking nightclub. If you have cocaine, give it two women so they'll give you a blowjob sandwich. Other than that, don't try.

ethylphenidate is also an acceptable substance. Like cocaine but it lasts for two-three hours and fucks your nose up if you constantly readminister.

Dont you have any interests? You need to become passionate about something, have something to talk about. Film, art, literature, politics, travel, whatever.

For general conversion it would be helpful to know about sport and politics/current affairs, even if you're not actually interested in that. Gotta fake it to make it, everyone is doing that to some extent.

Do you go to the gym? Go to spinning/yoga/boxing classes or anything else that might be available. Go to the gym at the same time every day and get to know the regulars.

Toronto is a big city there must be loads of stuff on meetup.com. Consider some dancing classes like salsa (seriously. and no, you won't be the most awkward person there).

This.

If the line to get in is that long, that means they have someone (a "bouncer") whose job it is to hand-pick who gets in, i.e. groups of hot chicks, and guys who bring hot chicks with them. And MAYBE a few single guys if they are top-tier looks and dress.

>Are you good looking?
no
>What kind of work do you do?
i work at an accounting company. i work with a lot of good looking "normies"

i could
it sucks that i am not able to make friends at my current job, there are a lot of younger people who work here

other smaller companies will have a lot less people near my age, and might be harder to make closer friends

thanks for the advice

>Film
i watch films, but it's hard to talk about it, since my coworkers really only watch blockbusters

>sport and politics
i think i'm going to start watching sports, the toronto basketball and hockey teams made it to the playoffs

>go to the gym?
i work out at home
yoga classes seem expensive, i was going to do them at home

i think i will join a dance class too, if i find one that fits my schedule

So talk to them anyways. Trying to put together where their prejudices towards you lie will help you learn how to read people in general.

Also whilst going to a club alone is a horrible idea unless you're a 10/10, don't be put off by going to a gig alone. I'm talking smaller gigs of maybe 200-300 ppl max because then you instantly have something to chat to people about (but you have to be passionate about a certain genre of music I guess).
Or for example open-mic bars can also be a great way to meet people if you're into that kind of thing.

Meetup .com
Find a hobby that interests you and talk to people once you meet irl
I'm from Toronto btw, I'm in "paddle 20-seat war canoes from downtown to toronto islands" group
Best place to meet strangers, and maybe even make couple of friends