Who is she, Veeky Forums?

Who is she, Veeky Forums?

ur mom

No one, I got over the cunt.

Sigrid.

It's been only two weeks so far, but my heartbreak is still crippling.
Since two days I've been fighting the good fight and trying to replace her with iron, but it's been really really hard.

I'm anxious and sometimes I'm on the verge of tears for no true reason.

What hurts me the most right now is that she already has someone else and has replaced me completely.

Here I am, with my every thought going out to her, while she has completely forgotten me. Not worthy of a single thought.

This pains me deeply.

I'll be stronger... eventually.

Keep lifting user.

In the future i'll probably laugh about it, but right now it's not so funny

We got close to each other in late january, first kiss early february. Since then we met up every few days, i ran game etc, did it right.
There were red flags that she's batshit in some ways (weeaboo, kind of a loner, stuff like that), but i chose to ignore them.
But very often she found excuses not to meet, made it very difficult. this would have been a closed case for "not interested" if she wasn't unbelievably sweet and loving when we were actually at the same place, a total contrast to her over text. And it's not that i fell for her and then interpreted her mere presence into her being in love, she actually was like a little girl with a crush... but only when we were not more than a few feet apart. this went on for a few weeks, and it bugged me evermore that she was kind of "avoiding" me, so i called her out on it and broke it off. later that same day it made click in my head, and i called her again. she confirmed my suspicions as to why she was doing this, it was because she heard through the grapevine that i'm just using girls for sex and then discard them... which is sadly true.
But aside from her weird personality problems which were irritating, but resolvable, she was as close to perfection as you could get for me...
She has a huge caring and nurturing instinct (this one time we went for a walk with her dog and came by some horses.. She said that "they look way too thin" and started to collect grass from the ground until she had this huge bundle of grass she then proceeded to feed the horses with). She also has a great body since she trains almost every day, which is very important to me that a girl does this by herself.
There were tons of sides that shone through that made me for the first time in my life go "she might be worth respecting and not manipulating, have a real relationship with and if that goes well for a while keep for marriage and children".

After i called her out on her avoidance we were again repaired for ~a week... and it became a cycle of making up, mutual sorries (i did some very dickish things, i'll come to that later) and then doing the same shit again.
One of the two recurring things i was most irritated about was that she wouldn't trust me. Whether it was big or small.. An example for a small thing was this: we were walking somewhere, when out of the blue i pulled her in another direction and told her "come with me". Just little stuff to have fun and she wouldn't play along for the life of her. It manifested in this and in big stuff also..
The other thing i hate her for are things like these:

(character limit fuck off)

We made plans to have this whole day for us, until we went to training together with one of her girlfriends. But she from the beginning said that she was going to donate plasma with another girlfriend in the morning from 10 to 12 or something. Of course, this was not the problem, i could go lift in the meantime. When i came back home i texted her that i'm gonna come over in half an hour (15 min bicycle ride from my home to hers). She answered me that she just went out with her dog to this.. not really park but whatever (the way to and from meant that she's gonna be gone for about 3 hours). WTF. Okay, she was back home and it was already 16:00 or around that time. Then her next excuse was that she was tired and just wanted to take a nap for an hour. I told her to fuck off and went over. Half an hour later her eternal cockblocking ugly girlfriend showed up and that was that. She knew exactly what she was doing for the whole day.
This started our cycle anew, and she recognized what she was doing wrong, even told me that she was sorry for stuff i didn't bring up as an example, so she knew what i meant. She said she was going to stop it but of course again didn't. She always fucking let every little thing come into our plans, and only our fucking plans. She didn't spontaneously flake out on her fucking cunt of a friend, but me, sure, take the 50th fucking rain check. Rustled my jimmies fucking hard.

I already said that i'm kind of a manwhore, so what had to happen happened. I met this girl, she was hot for me, she had a great ass. I started to get to know her, added her on snapchat, met up to do little stuff, afterwards she sat on my lap, we smelled each other's necks and stuff like that, but she always told me "i want to kiss you/fuck you (situation, lol) but i won't since you have a girlfriend". Before i had anything with #2, i told my girlfriend (the girl this whole thing is about, maybe should have clarified that) when i was sleeping over that it's in men's nature to fuck other girls. We can't change it and supressing does no good. The reason most stay faithful is not because the men choose to, it's because they lack the skills and balls to risk pissing off their spouse. She was kind of accepting but sceptical, which is more than i initially expected, went pretty easy to explain this stuff to her ("but why can't the woman fuck around too then??!").

I haven't had a crush in years. It would be kinda nice but in the end it would propably have more downsides so I am pretty happy being the emotionally dead fucker that I am.