Get back from the water fountain

>get back from the water fountain
>somebody is using MY squat plug

>misplace squat plug
>mom put it in the dishwasher

>misplace squatplug
>really small since my boipucci is super tight
>find 18 month cousin using it as a pacifier

WTF DO I DO??

>misplace chrome squat plug
>daddy makes clanky noises sitting down with us at brekfast

>go into showers
>someone is fucking my twink

>chrome squat plug
>chromosome squat plug
>someone steals it

>be birthday
>co-workers know that I lift and get together to buy me a new squat plug
>mfw

is a squat plug those rubber things you use to plug your mouth to avoid grunting too loud while squatting?

>gym lion ate all the complimentary avocados again

>brought cum rag to the gym instead of sweat towel

>gym deer kicked my new gym crush to death

bump keepin this hsit alive

>gym witch cursed all the 45 lb. plates fucking AGAIN
>no one willing to break the curse by giving up their gains
>potion prices hiked up on top of that

On a side note, are potions natty?

>they threw my shoes into the fart corner while I was squatting

>didn't win enough tickets on the leg press to trade in for a pair of clips

>please tell me you don't put it in your mouth

Just enhancing what's already there, it's all natty baby!

>8/10 qt mirin my squats
>comes over to talk
>sweaty and heart racing
>asks to compare squat plugs
>"whatever you're doing seems to be working!"
>bend over like a good boi and show my boipucci
>at that moment I realize I forgot my squad plug at home next to my wife's son's wiiU
>she slowly walks away
>get a letter in the mail saying I'm banned from the gym

here is what cursed plates look like for reference.

>Pajeet overwhelms my gym's owner in trial by combat with his rank curry smell
>Beats him to death with a dumbbell
>By gym rules he's now the owner of the gym
>Instates a strict polo-jean policy
>Squat rack is now DESIGNATED shitting zone
>Chafing so badly during all my lifts
>Get charged 25 rupees for squat waders
>Don't even like Zelda

It isn't right. IT ISN'T FAIR!

Does anyone know how to unelectrify the bar?

Asking for a friend.

>gym blacksmith smelted half of the 45lb pl8s to create a new power-rack.
Not sure how I feel about this.

>go to gym on Menagerie Monday with my lobster
>get tons of weird looks
>not a single other animal, even the cardio bunny I've been crushing on left her sloth at home
>apparently they moved Menagerie Mondays to Wednesdays and I never realized because they put the notice up near the women's squat pit
>be told that I won't be receiving any bench tokens for my flagrant violation of gym policy
IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR. WHY DID THIS HAPPEN ON CHEST DAY?

>tfw gym's village idiot is me

kek

>forgot to put the kettlebell on the stove and didn't get to drink tea

Iktftbqhf
Also noice dubs

shit on his face and then murder it because you've turned it into a fucking faggot just like you.

>bounce and tumble day
>gym bounce house is burst

>begin biggest bench of my life
>all the guys in the gym run over while whipping out their dicks
>they jack off furiously all over my abs
>repeating "no homo" over and over
>finish my reps
>rack weights and sit up, cum running down my body
>all the guys saying good job
>take turns giving me gentle kisses on the lips
>I love this gym

>Go to do flys, grab dumbbells
>Sabaton blasting, on a roll and rollin hard
>something feels wrong 2 sets in
>look down, someone put their weights in the wrong slot
>did flys with a 40 in my left and a 45 in my right
>arms freakishly asymmetrical forever

>dumbell flyes
>they actually don't though