How do I not fuck this up Veeky Forums

perfect let's reschedule

dang op, she seems interested. ask for her number

Holy shit that's super fast
I don't think I can even handle that bitch
> not that I ever had a girl to begin with

Sorry senpai but if you need porn to get an erection and orgasm then you're either really low test or you need to stop watching porn so much.

Better be careful with that sloot brah. My money is she's going to drop her panties and your room will instantly smell like a warm turtle tank.

Make sure to wrap that rascal and show no mercy. Personally, sex for me is like HIIT; fuck as hard as you can for about fifteen mintues and take a six month rest.

Post your profile pic, OP.. I need to see what you look like.

Literally no way to fuck this up , unless you outright tell her you only fuck dudes

Oh, I have a finace so I don't really jerk off that much as I used to, cuase of sex and cause I can bust in her mouth, ass or tits. But when I do it's only cause I have access to porn and am home alone.

I use my imagination, i think of thinks i have seen or know

Pretty sad desu lad

I just need 4000 dollars and i can get a gf

obvious bot, beware links and MMS

hahahaha

> your place, mine, or both
There you go you autistic nigger have fun

This is most likely not real, be careful mate

Educate me. Why is not watching porn crucial?

This, holy fuck!

Watch it, might be fake

And if it's real she's had miles and miles of dick. In no circumstance do you gf it

win

Make sure she knows your intentions but make sure to be sly about it so say something like

>Fuck? I daresay madam whatever do you mean? You are aware that the word "fuck" has many different meanings are you not? Why, a gentleman such as myself would have no desire to, according to one definition, "ruin or damage (something)" for I am a lover not a fighter. And if you mean you'd like to express anger together you'll find me most adept, I've memorized all of The Biggest Problems of The Universe by Maddox. I find Social Justice Warriors to be the biggest of all myself they are most vexing!

so you can segway into a conversation topic smoothly

Because you won't be able to get it up until it's too late. You want just kissing and foreplay to be able to get you rock hard and that won't happen if you're dick is conditioned to get hard only at videos of hardcore sex.

nearly forgot to mention, be sure to always state jokingly or otherwise that you are not a rapist. Make sure when she thinks of you she remembers you saying rapist, what you're not. This makes women feel more safe around you

mirin ur philosophy

same faggot.

Hyper-stimulation fucks up your ability to actually find the real thing as awesome as it is.

Mainstream porn is detached from reality. Its comprised of ridiculous scenarios, optimal camera angles, lighting and sound effects. The dude is hung like a horse and the girl is just acting.

There are lots of different ways that porn can effect you negatively, most of which are intuitively derived from considering the aforementioned characteristics. You know porn is bad for you, you can just feel it in your bones.

>mfw that pun came to me as I was writing.

I think it's fair to say it's not a problem for everyone. But like others have said and I've experienced personally, it's hard to get hard and cum when you jerk off to porn too much. Maybe you're one of the lucky ones, but why take that chance?

Nope

>what you're not
Your comedic timing and phrasing is on point. You should actually be a writer, if not as a career please turn some stuff in to a local comedian or something. Not bullshitting you, you have a knack.

this is just because average people have really fucking boring sex

i watch a shitload of porn and have no problem fucking even fat girls

This

That was fucking trippy chan

>average people have really fucking boring sex
partially this

also most women dont look like fucking pornstars. if you jerk off to exclusively porn your dick kind of formulates an expectation that most women cant meet

>going to the movies

OP here

That's all i needed to see I responded with that and got her number we are fucking this Saturday

Thank you Veeky Forums any sex tips i should have before I do this

wait until marriage you fucking degenerate

everyone tells you to jerk off before but dont, dont watch porn either. youre gonna get nervous and lose your boner to begin with, so you need to be as easily excitable as possible so you dont go soft on her because girls fucking hate that,

Is this just like normal human interaction?
Is this just the final outcome of every relationship we try to start? Just fucking?

t. virgin

YEah make absolutely sure you nut inside of her

stick it in her armpit

Don't tell her you don't have any experience with women.

Fake it till you make it.

Sounds like she finds you attractive. Make sure to be clean and smell good. Make out, touch her, make out, touch her, make out ---> eventually you'll know when she's ready.

Take some pre-workout before you get your pumps in.

>all these anons saying that op can't fuck up
it just happened to me

>talk to qt girl in class
>she comments on my sweater
>she asks for my snapchat and later that evening is sending me nudes
right now i'm thinking "muh dick"

>next day she sends me more nudes
>i send her the "ok" and "finger point" emojis (asking her to bang)
>she says shes down
right now i'm thinking "blessed gonna get my dick wet"

>day later, it's a friday
>spend all of class flirting with her
>later that night playing some video games, waiting for some banging pics
>they don't come
>message her whats up
>she drunk and starts sending me incoherent messages
>says we should chill over the weekend
right now i'm thinking "things could be worse, we can still chill and i'll get my dick wet"

>next day i ask if she wants to come over at night
>she says maybe
>i don't think much of it, shes probably playing hard to get right?
>night comes and she doesn't show up
>ask her if she is still coming

to be continued

>she replies "probably won't come, sorry"
>msg her back "it's all good"
>she doesn't respond
>a couple hours later i try some small talk
>msg her to ask her how her day went
>no response and i fall asleep

>next day she still hasn't opened my message
>finally at noon she does
>no response

what did i do wrong bros? i thought i was gonna get my dick wet

I did this a few nights ago, pre-workout, went to the gyms, showered then fucked my wife, I was a fucking machine.

She feels obligated to have sex. No woman likes that. They want spontanteous and erotic. Act cool and don't text her for a day or two.

Or she might just be desperate for attention

You were being a bitch. You should have called that hoe up and said come over. Don't ask these hoes nothing, just tell them to get on your cawk.

really? i am a literal virgin so i would not know better. please do not try and trick me user

Nothing, she's a tease. How old is she?

She dumb and just likes attention but you gave her too much of it.

Hit her up when it's convenient for you and just ask if she wants to get the d. If she doesn't respond yes just move on.

Stop talking to her, make her come to you, or leave it

15 and i'm 18. its legal here in Canada btw.

This works too.

Girls definitely and ho, so tell her to come get it. If she's not into it she can go fuck off.

Nice.
Caffeine and BCAAs are life-savers.

oh she is a fuckin ho dude. I knew that from the start
she's banged more dudes than you can fucking count

>she's going to drop her panties and your room will instantly smell like a warm turtle tank.

lmao

Make sure your fuckin finger nails are trimmed. If you start fingering her and the length you thought was "fine" might actually slip and nick her and it's embarrassing for you.

>Warm turtle tank
HahahahahHahahHah

OP pls post tinder pics of her

Wear a condom if she did this with you, she would do it with a lot of men.

Masterbate the night before if you cum easy.

If you don't know, don't masterbate before. If she's sexy you'll be able to get it up again anyways no problem. Plus women are more impressed by that.

Do some core work shortly before, chicks dig arms and abs.

Tease her a bit with kisses on her pubic mound and inner thighs, but eat out first, if she cums, it'll make it easier for her to cum later.

Start with "dog licks" to get her going, just long licks from the bottom of the vag and kinda flick your tongue on the clit.

Then work the clit (you have to kinda feel out how hard she likes it. Start light and if she grabs your hair or something go harder) for a while then eventually introduce one finger in her. Make sure you lube with your spit first. Curve your finger like you're beckoning her (trim your nails you gross motherfucker) and press up against the rough bumpy part of the vagina about 2-3 inches in. This is her g spot.

Once she cums (she may twitch or her kegel muscles will tense up, you'll know) put it in pretty slow and tease her a bit if you have a big dick.

If you don't have a big dick just make sure you have a good physique and look pretty and fuck her missionary, women can cum off good looks.

I like to use the move where you go really slow and do long strokes and then fuck really hard for 10-15 seconds then go back to a few long strokes. Switch up the timing you can really get her going that way.

Best penetration is when she's on her stomach flat and you're mounted on top. Also you get a good look of her ass so that's cool too.

Good luck OP, if you eat it right, you really can't fuck this up.

>Wear a condom if she did this with you, she would do it with a lot of men.
> but eat out first, if she cums, it'll make it easier for her to cum later.

breh?

lump of silicone isn't gf, user

Lol you probably won't get HPV on your face which is the realistic danger of fucking without a condom.

If she has herpes it should be fairly obvious.

It's sill disgusting to eat out a tinder whore who probably fucks 3 different dicks a week.

from the thumbnail I thought that was a picture of a rhesus macaque

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Fuck em right once and you can fuck em again.

Fuck em again and you can fuck for life, no question.

Hear that OP?

>"you probably won't get HPV"

Uhhhh don't listen to this retard OP. Herpes doesn't show up half the time, typically only when it's inflamed or "active", so this is total horseshit. This is why I don't fuck tinder sluts, dumbfucks like this have permeated the group and sluts actually believe it, so people are spreading herpes like fuck.

This OP 100%

Isn't the whole concept of fucking around and not engaging in a relationship the idea that you can fuck different people all the time?

That's literally the only appeal - insecure people get their validation from being able to get into girls pants.

I agree with the sentiment, but it better be a girl actually worth something

>>real life has become tinder so all possible engagements have an expiry period

Fuck this noise. You weren't bold enough.

OP just treat her like a dude. Don't sperg out.

>>Walk in, scorpion jacket over one shoulder,
>>side glance at her
>>pause
>>hang up jacket
>>You say"smash?"
>>She says "smash"
>>go to her kitchen table, pull down your underwear and flex those glutes as you bend over
>>glare at her aggressively in expectation

Benis in bagina

say this

"aight, whats ur number?"

once you have it be like hey its user and tell her to come over at your place at X o clock

>warm turtle tank
thanks for the audible kek but fuck you because now I'm thinking about that smell lmao

Hey Veeky Forums, how do you fuck good?

ask her what she wants then deliver

take your time to foreplay, start shallow, build up speed slowly, then thurst deep like every ~10 thurst, then start slowly decreasing time between them, pay attention, when she closes her eyes and "spasms" go rougher, grab tit/neck(she might not be into the second but there's a 80% chance she is), when she looks in your eyes go for a kiss and caress her body.
Don't overthink it. Always go with the flow, but you've gotta WANT to please her before yourself.

This (minus the autism).
If a girl is texting like that she is a sloot and most definitely wants an assertive guy.
Do not do retarded shit like this
If you go down on rancid tinder sloot pussy you are beyond redemption.
Just enjoy yourself and remember to wrap it up

don't listen completely. He's right to some extent, which is why women are hard. You have to work out which group they belong to.

>Eating out a tinder sloot

Kek

>cant
you mean wont

drop 3g of phenibut, seriously, cos if youre nervous your little friend isnt gonna come out to play
phenibut eliminates fear

That's a man, baby

>most women dont look like fucking pornstars
But most pornstars are 3-4/10 a very few good ones are 6/10. Average girls on street are much better looking.

>>she asks for my snapchat and later that evening is sending me nudes
You should have immediate told her you wanted to fuck, hers or yours, and met

You fucking pussy, she got turned off

Move her around to get yourself comfortable screwing her, dont just dive in in some crappy position. If you have to tell her to move, tell her to move, get her to go where you want or where you think she'll like it.

You might find with her laying down with her back to you its easier to prop her waistline up with a thick pillow, rather than trying to take her flat

fucking kek

>trying this hard for a tinder sloot
just hump her my dude

>y-you too...

It's more like OHPing 3 pl8 for me
I've never done and doubt I ever will

jack off right before and wear 2 condoms so you don't nut straight away

fpbp