ITT unironically the best lives throughout history
>be born a pleb in the roman republic
>join the legions
>see exotic lands and fight battles with barbarians
>at the end of the campaign receive a farm along with the rest of my comrades
>retire from public life, plough my fields, and fuck my slaves. Just like Cincinnatus
Provided you don't die during war and you don't get hurt/sick at any point during your life, I concur.
>toil as a farmer until your death bed
Some life OP.
Well I assume if he's going to have slaves to fuck he'll also have slaves to do the work.
and if Sulla writes your name on one of his prescription lists?
Done for because of my alban farm!
>implying he means a yeoman farmer
>implying he won't run a latifundium
Pleb pls
>Teleported before Marian reforms
>None of this is a thing
>Does penniless
Sounds great
chances are that you were drafted to the legion, had your land stolen for failure to pay taxes while you were gone, died in one of the civil wars, and your homeless wife and children became concubines to some prick patrician, """Optimate""".
plebs could be land-owners, and thus could serve in the military before the Marian reforms, user.
You lands would be sold while you were away in iberea
lmao. I got the reference.
It would be possible if you were somewhat an influent citizen, which is not the case of this particular pleb.
This sort of thing was dramatically reduced once Caesar and Augustus came to power. Being a soldier in the legions was a pretty good deal by that time, roughly in line with what the OP mentioned.
Hes given his land grant at the end of his service brainlet.
> two years later another general conquers Rome
>your kicked off your farm
> another legionary gets to proforma the Venus dance with your slaves
>reach the end of your campaign
>Caesar/the Senate forget to assign you land because they're too busy chasing boipussy
>march valiantly across the Tiber and slaughter your own countrymen to whom you have no ethnic bond
>relegated to some shithole in Gaul as retribution
shh let the retard keep believing Rome was feudal
don't forget
>die at the very old age of 26
The absolute state of Veeky Forums
>get lucky during the early days of the gold rush
>find a thousand dollar something worth gold nugget
>don't fuck it up
>buy a big cosy farm in california
>literally do nothing
>invest in petrol later in life
They didn't get a pension for serving in the military like the retarded OP believes
moron
OP didn't say anything about a pension, and legions were often settled after campaigns to prevent insurrections
>term of service for a legionary is 25 years
>you'll only live for 26 though
>tfw you have to join the legion at 1 year old
>exotic
some shithole in central Europe, more accurately.
Either that or you go get slaughtered by the Jews or the Parthians.
>implying the jews didnt get raped into nomadism bybthe romans
>cloth merchant in 16th century
>sail around the temperate mediterranean during the warm seasons, chatting with the long-familiar crews of the galleys
>buy cloth in constantinople and do some sightseeing
>say hello to my old turkish and greek friends in the city
>travel back to venice and genoa to unload my stock
>fuck some high-price qt italian prostitutes
>oversee the loading and distribution of cloth from the port cities to the rest of europe
>take a ship back to my luxurious house in nice
>fuck my qt french wife
>hold dinner parties for french and italian merchants and minor nobles
>people only lived for 25 years before penicillin
I dont even have a wojak stupid enough to post this with
>get captured by sandnigger pirates and sold as slave
This is where its at. The rising merchant class would have had the comfort of royalty, without as much of the power struggle associated with it.
>got one in one million chance to prove someone that don't know a shit about Rome right
>suffer from hunger
>experience cold, rain and mud
>get the lash for the smallest infraction to the rule of the Legion
>see your friends and comrades die before you
>risk dying yourself, in battle or because of a sickness
>risk being injured for life too
>end your life breaking your back on a field
wow truly comfy. And the worst is that it still beats being a peasant pleb or living in the shithole that is Rome, who would have looked far more like modern-day Calcutta than a clean city of marble like in a Hollywood peplum.
If you wanted to talk about "best lives", couldn't you at least take the exemple of a rich patrician senator ?
Imagine "learning" about Rome in progressive propaganda books.
>plebs owning latifundium
you do realize just how few held that level of opulence right
>risk of debt
>risk of your ship sinking
>risk of piracy
>risk of the King seizing your assets
You just have to be a protestant in France and then your golden XVIth century is fucked up.
Living in the merchant class wasn't perfectly easy. Trade was hard, it was complicated ; distances were far greater than today, and the cargo they could transport was much, much smaller than what you can even think to compare with today's massive container ships.
>Being this much of a pussy
>Believing Rome post-Augustus was not a sprawling city of marble and public works
Uh, pretty easy solution: just don’t be a fucking Protestant. Or if you REALLY want to be, go and live in Northwrn Germany.
Low historical life expectancy is the result of super high infant morality rates. If you made it past your first few years of life, you'd likely make it to 60.
>implying martial service to the republic is not an intrinsically meaningful and satisfying activity
>implying tilling the rich italian soil and living the rest of your days in peace as you watch hour children grow tall and strong like their father wouldnt be the best way to grow old
Imagine being a forest ape who only learns about Ancient Rome through coloring books and rose tinted glasses glamorizing life in the military
The endless problem of brainlets not understanding normal distributions, skewed distributions and mean vs. median.
>intrinsically meaningful
So intrinsically meaningful that Romans began pawning off the responsibility to Gauls, Illyrians, and later Germans because they were the only ones insane (or desperate) enough to enlist and risk dying a traitor's death when their general revolts
>>implying tilling the rich italian soil and living the rest of your days in peace as you watch hour children grow tall and strong like their father wouldnt be the best way to grow old
If doing the same rote tedious task over and over again was really that fulfilling, you'd be doing it right now.
>and ezio fucking kills you
>If doing the same rote tedious task over and over again was really that fulfilling, you'd be doing it right now.
where do you think you are?
>and le ezio kills you
>>>>>/reddit/
Upper class white man in the Eisenhower era
>be Mormon in 20th century America
>Live out the 14 words with my multiple white wives
Certainly not on a farm in Frogtits, Arkansas slaving away over a patch of mud
>plough my fields
Correction:
>Get bought out by rich land owner
>or killed by his thugs if I refuse
>or refused by clients due to land owners influence if I refuse
>basically I either sell or it's tough shit for the rest of my now drastically shortened life
>Once I do sell: Whore it up in Rome for a few months until I'm out of money and rejoin my pleb glib globs in living hand to mouth and on handouts from the state
>buy a big cosy farm in california
>literally do nothing
Farms don't just....you have to actually DO farmwork user.
Really? That's the best you can do? It would probably be pretty cozy, but nothing compared to others.
I’m too fond of indoor plumbing
>ITT unironically the best lives throughout history
I'm a well off 30 yr old man of average physique with a large diversified portfolio and a private yacht with plenty of stock in both Microsoft and Apple that I got at a killer price because why not? I have money to spare, sold four of our cars and used the money to play the stock market a little.
I'm married of course, my wife is a rather average looking redhead but more importantly she is supportive, intelligent and knows we work better together than apart as do I.
We have a son and a daughter. He is starting kindergarten in the fall and she is just a toddler. We live in a nice suburban community outside Flagstaff, Arizona.
It is 9:00 PM on the night of 14th of Febuary 1993 and I have some sex with an average looking redhead coming my way and she knows what I like.
Fag
>Flagstaff, Arizona.
Terrible.
It's nice, peaceful and the scenery is great but by all means substitute it with your ideal place.
That is a fair point, sir.
>t. David Foster Wallace