In this thread we post important Veeky Forumstorical figures that were known cucks.
>Börte had been held captive for eight months by the Merkits, and she gave birth to Jochi after she was rescued, leaving doubt as to who the father of the child was, because her captor took her as a "wife".
>However, Genghis let Jochi remain in his family and claimed him as his own son.
KEK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOO!
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>gave him many legitimate sons after anyway
if anything that sounds like something a true chad would do.
>a chad
>raising sperm that another man pumped deep inside your wife's uterus
>giving him part of your empire
>Your people can't agree wether he's legitimate, weakening your legacy
Go ahead, call him a cuck and see what happens to your city.
Napoleon. Josephine fucked some cavalry officer even while she was on her way to visit Napoleon during the Italian campaign. When Napoleon found out about it while in Egypt - and that everyone in Paris was laughing at him and mocking him - he got so pissed off he started planning for a divorce right in the middle of the campaign, and fucked some officer’s wife in Cairo as revenge.
Although in the end Napoleon basically won, since he ended up fucking like two dozen other women - often in the room right next to Josephine’s, with her full knowledge, and he eventually divorced her.
>be at the litteral top of the dominence hierarchy
>still get cucked
It’s not his fault. French women are biologically whores.
Each of those children were contaminated with the DNA of the countless number of men who gangraped Borte during those months she was hostage, due to chimerism.
>Veeky Forums can't tell humans from flies
>marry french
>get cucked
>cuck her back as hard as possible, then divorce her and marry a austrian
Ceasar got cucked aswell
cuck. quick, go divert a river so you can flood your own men
Yeah but everyone was cucking everyone in rome
Caesar was very well known for fucking just about every senators wife.
What the hell, I had no idea about any of this.
The story of how that became public knowledge is like an episode of Blackadder. It's baffling that something that funny and farcical actually happened.
Actually learning about ancient Rome reveals that every modern Larper pining over the power and manly virtue of ancient rome is a moron who's never read up on it. Every single notable figure in the Roman Republic was like an arrested developement character.
Can I get a quick rundown?
The Romans had many state-run religious festivals. These were vital. They literally believed Roman sucess in war depended
Caesar was a state priest in two ways, being Pontifex Maximus and an Aedile, so his wife was chosen to host and run a female only ceremony. This was one of the most important ceremonies of the year, and it was a terrible omen if anything went wrong.
Another guy, Clodius I think, wanted to use this opportunity to sneak into Caesars house, where the ceremony would take place, and fuck his wife at some point.
Just one problem.
Men weren’t allowed into this ritual. They would taint it, and ruin it and cause ALL OF ROME to lose the favour of the Gods.
So Clodius dressed up as a woman.
He dressed up as a woman and sneaks in while the ceremony is going on. At first he keeps a low profile, but eventually he gets lost looking for Caesars wife’s room.
An older, senior female slave finds him, a granny type figure, and thinks some poor little slave girl has gotten lost. She closes in on her, asks where she’s meant to be, trying to direct her back to the ceremony.
First Clodius tries ignoring her. When he’s cornered he tries just nodding and using body language to go away.
Eventually he has to breaks and tries to tell her ‘no, I’m fine really’ in the fakest, most ridiculous womans voice imaginable.
The slave loses her mind, screams, and raises the alarm.
Clodius hides.
But he’s found. By everyone. All the dozens of wives of all the most distinguished and politically important families of Rome find him just standing there in one of the bedrooms, dressed as a woman, just looking at them like a deer in headlights. This means the entire city’s spiritual existence is soiled. It’s like someone wiped their ass on the shroud of Turin, if doing that meant you’re going to lose every war from now on.
They make sure they’d all seen what they’d seen, and then drove him out of there.
It was an enormous scandal. The ceremony had to be reorganized. Rites of cleansing undergone, and on top of that the whole city knew Caesars wife was having an affair. Because of the sacrilege this had to be discussed in government, in front of everyone with Caesar present wanting to fucking die,. He denied he knew anything about it, but divorced his wife. When asked why he’d divorced her if he thinks nothing happened, he unconvincingly replied ‘Caesar’s wife must be above suspicion’
And the guy, who had been seen by about a hundred women, DENIES anything happened. The Roman legal system was so corrupt he got off, but it was also so openly corrupt enough that everybody still knew for certain he did it.
And Caesar had a good working relationship with this guy for the rest of his life, because the truth is roman politicians were absolute whores who very rarely put any matter of dignity above building power and petty feuds. That’s why the best way I can conceptualize it is as Arrested Development on a ludicrous scale.
>tfw Clodius was both chad enough and retarded enough to dress up as a woman to sneak in and fuck Caesar's wife
Oh my fucking god
But that's nonsense.
...
>Veeky Forums
you mean /pol/
Holy hell, this is depressingly comical, I felt bad for Caesar there.
But how does that prove Caesar's wife was having an affair? You mentioned Clodius was looking for her room, but you said he got lost trying to find it and was caught.
And every senator. He was knownfor being "every man's wife and every woman's husband."
I was working from memory. Just checked and apparently the actual timeline was:
>Clodius is let in by a slave who was in on the whole thing, and thus presumably spilled the beans later.
>He was disguised as a female harp player.
>The slave told him to wait in the hall or something while she went to let Caesar's wife know he was there, thus proving she was in on it.
>Clodius, and this is a fucking genius moment missing from my original account, didn't get lost. In the middle of his high octane sex heist, he gets bored and decides to just wonder off from where he was meant to wait and explore the house. HE bumps into the slave because of this, the ensuing interaction happens as described, and the alarm is raised.
This is my source where I learned the story, page 146 going by the numbers on the actual pages. Page 155 of the PDF itself:
ftp://121.17.126.74/data1/ts01/english/novel/batch001/201005112101191569.pdf
Incidentally, I'm nearing the end of this book, and its all around quite good. The early parts of the book are all about his political career in Rome before he became a general, and it covers a lot of this kind of last days of the Republic wacky races nonsense, like Caesar's supporters rubbing shit in his co-consuls face during a public meeting, embarrassing the guy so much that he literally didn't leave his house for a year.
Also, apparently he was hiding in the room of the slave who let him in, which I'm presuming means that we have a lot of the details of what happened from this slave girl, who they knew to question because he was found in her room. Now that I think of it, that girl's room is probably where he was told to wait before he decided to go on an adventure
>Caesar's supporters rubbing shit in his co-consuls face during a public meeting
>embarrassing the guy so much that he literally didn't leave his house for a year
So humanity has always been hilarious?
How about when, in the middle of a Senate meeting on whether or not Cicero's actions during the Catilinarian conspiracy were legal or not, Caesar got a note.
Cato the Younger, Caesar's staunchest enemy, claimed it was a letter to Caesar from the conspirators, and that Caesar was in league with traitors. Caesar passed the note around and at once proved his innocence and humiliated Cato. It was a note from Cato's half sister Servilia saying how Cato was a dickhead, she knew Caesar would beat any dumb argument of his, and how Caesar's johnson was huge and made her dripping wet.
It was a riot, made funnier by the fact that Cato himself had caused the note to be passed around, and that Servilia's husband was one of the year's consuls.
It gets better. The co-consul, Bibulus, stayed home all year watching the sky and claiming bad omens that would invalidate all of Caesar's legislation. People literally just ignored him and called it the year of the consulship of Julius and Caesar.
HAHAHAHAHAH
Caesar was too alpha for this world.
The roman kerfuffle that sticks with me the most is how Marius hadn't picked a side in a major dispute between politicians who were trying to get popular by fighting for what the poor people wanted, and those who wanted to not give the poor an inch.
This was not a normal political division. It had already erupted into severe violence on several occasions, and Rome was basically divided between two huge gangs of guys with clubs and knives and shit, each in the employ or on the side of one group. Everything looked set to reach a very serious breaking point where no-one would be safe.
Marius had put off taking a side to this very last moment, trying to stay in good graces of each of them while also convincing them he had nothing to do with the other. Somehow, on the night before what was likely to be the big explosion of violence, he receives one group of very senior representatives FROM EACH SIDE.
His entire night was a ridiculous scramble to host both of them for dinner, but make sure neither group became aware of the other.
To do this, he claimed he had diarrhoea, and would clutch his gut and excuse himself from one group whenever he wanted to talk to the other.
It's literally the sitcom trope of accidentally inviting two girls to the same dance, and having to keep both of them unaware of each other while finding excuses to run between them, except it's so much more ridiculous than that and is meant to have actually happened.
somehow i get this feeling that these stories might have been fabricated for comedic effect
>be at the most chad position you can be
>still get cucked
whats wrong with women
>falling for the chad/virgin meme unironically
Its normal for french women to be whores, it was always like this and will always remain like this.
I think this stereotype is stupid and unfair.
I desperately need to hear more. Sauce pls
it actually does happen in humans, but only as a result of pregnancy
epigenetics
>reverence and awe towards the woman
Cuntcuck logic
Why do you think the theme of infidelity and cuckolding is so prevalent in media throughout the ages?
It's a man's primal fear since he has no way of knowing wether the progeny of his wife is truly his or not. It has always been like this, and the whole "no matter how powerful you become, you will never be able to have control over this" is a big part of it as well.
Genghis was so Chad his actions are incomprehensible to wannabe alpha males.
>no way of knowing wether the progeny of his wife is truly his or not
well physical appearance is usually a decent indicator
basically a clone of my father, AMA
t. French woman
it doesn't really matter since his legitimate children didn't allow the bastard to inherit anything
Honestly I only started reading about Rome recently. Most of the stories I've posted come from Caesar, Life of a Colossus, which I've nearly finished and which was really good. Before that i read Mary Beard's SPQR, which was honestly the perfect first book on Rome because it basically covers and explains the first 1000 years of Rome's history as if it was talking to a 12 year old who's never even heard of it. It also contains its fair share of this kind of nonsense, and unlike some writers who have such a boner for Rome that they try to frame everything very formally, she fully acknowledges how petty and hypocritical everything was.
I read them both online. So basically, SPQR-better introduction, Caesar-a bit more detail on these kinds of incidents, at least for the late Republic era, which was probably the wackiest period.
scribd.com
ftp://121.17.126.74/data1/ts01/english/novel/batch001/201005112101191569.pdf
I wonder if the future historians will have the same thing going on with the USA.
Belisarius's wife was fucking behind his back too, to the point where even some of his officers had heard rumors about it.
The chad cuck
Napoleon's brother Louis was also cucked by Josephine's daughter who had an illegitimate child. Being a whore runs in the family apparently
>socially reclusive teenagers raised by Veeky Forums learn that words like 'chad' and 'beta' don't have any meaning outside their distorted fantasies
This is fascinating to watch.