The gym falcon laid eggs in the squat rack

>The gym falcon laid eggs in the squat rack
>have to wait until they hatch before I can squat

>gym muslim blew up the dumbell rack
>have to curl with a barbell now

>6th day of the week
>not allowed to bench less than 6pl8
Anyone get tired of this bullshit?

you have to eat ALL the eggs

These are just getting ridiculous now, very out of hand

>the gym crocodile ate my coach
>now i have to take post-workout shower alone

>manlets are pushing agains the pit to expand it
>their plan is to make others fall in an break their legs

>Gym forgot to pay off geometric debt
>All circular plates confiscated and replaced with irregular polygons

You ever tried to deadlift irregular polygon plates?

>gym falcon's eggs hatch and all make mad gains and fuck Stacies while I'm still stuck on lmao1pl8

>someone fed the gym hamster 5150 again
>it's been running in the wheel for 48 hours now
>one pajeet got so distracted by the rotary sound he dropped a 45 pl8 on his bare foot
>curry is now all over the deadlift platform where he was curling
>place is too slippery to deadlift without shoes

At least you have segregated platforms
>co Ed platforms
>females dripping period blood
>they laugh at guys who opt to use the smith machine

>only nearby gym is a planet fitness
>have to squat on treadmills

Atleast you got tredmills.
>only equipment in the gym is an old rocking chair
>have to get the barbell up to your shoulder by sitting in it and then rocking forwards
>one bloke broke his knee because it rocked forward a bit too much

at least you got barbells, planet fitness outlawed those back in 1979
>doing deadlifts on smith machine
>swapping off with guy doing bench
>puts on 2pl8
>ear piercing siren permeates through the complex
>lunkalarm.jpg
>half dozen skinnyfat security guards slowly jog into the scene
>arrest other guy, ask me if i'm "power lifting"
>"n-no sir, i'm just curling"

such is life in planet fitness.

>it's bring your waifu pillow to the gym day.
>most common pillow is Megumine.

>tfw soviet communal gym
>tfw gains redistributed
>tfw 3 hour lines for faulty water fountain
>tfw all the barbells have been melted down for tank hardware
>tried to leave last week
>10 foot wall

>tfw stalled on squat last week
>legs overtrained due to stalins "not one plate backward" policy

>gym sultan demands half if my daily gains upon exit.

I've been living in the gym for two weeks now. Anyone know how to sneak past him?

>gym got bought out by google
>have to solve captchas after every rep

load up on creatine and go, he will take your fake creatine mass, which would only last a few hours anyways

>Not megumax

凸(-_-)凸

>gym grunter deafened the staff
>have to learn sign language now

More like Megameme.

I'm not sure if I like this new meme or not. Here I'll give it a try.

>the gym reaper comes for my gains
>ask if I can challenge him to keep my hard earned gains
>he accepts, but I must beat him at HIIT endurance training in order to claim victory
>get transported to the 37th deadworld and begin running on a treadmill made of bleached bones
>end up beating the gym reaper at his own game
>doing HIIT for 983 years has stolen all my gains anyway
>death smiles a toothy grin

>gym gravity modifier is stuck on 200%
>won't be fixed for another week or so
>back to 1pl8 I guess

>chinese cheating scandal in my university
>even forged the gym
>mfw benching 5pl8 for reps

>manlet day at the gym
>All the benches and racks have been adjusted lower

Kek nice

>not keeping them warm by going atg on them

none of you are funny

>mfw someone ate the gym doughnuts

>barbell ran out of room.
>can't add a gallon of milk to my lifts every day anymore.

>enter gym
>discover i'm the designated clown for the day
>struggle to make anyone laugh and just keep rambling complete nonsense
>see qt cardio bunny that i'd been making grounds with point and chuckle at me as she squeezed my gym nemesis' bicep

>enter gym
>decline bench turns out to be a mimic
>get one shot

>not eating the gym falcon eggs for mad gainz
Do you even lift?

>The high gym counsel declined my plea for additional 2.5lb plates
>Placed a bounty on the grandmaster of the gym's head

>Failed the anime identification exam
>Burdened with the body pillow of shame that I must carry from station to station

>Implying the grandmaster doesn't own the gainz goblin assassination guild

>Implying the gainz goblins are a loyal guild
>Implying they won't take the highest ticket
>Implying I didn't purchase the contract with cryptocoin before the dip (ARK)
>Implying you aren't next

>gym gravity well is malfunctioning
>can't even squat the bar now

>go to planet fitness
>mandatory sugar cookie day
>go hyperglycemic
>pass out doing assisted smith machine squats
>membership dues went up again.

>when you forget your gains but the protein serf always has your back

>his gym doesn't have an incubator
What 3rd world hellhole do you live in?

>Head to gym after last blowout
>tfw cant use the bench cause a vortex anamoly appeared next to it

>tfw your gym has a travelling protein merchant that only comes once every six months

>New gym didn't have squat plugs for men over 6'3
>have to settle for a manlet chode dick to help support my squats

I'm having a good laugh at this thread, i think most of this is funny, so fuck off you negative faggot

>get tired
haha im not some lightweight babby

yea my gym has a dedicated squat rack, so everyone knows not to use it. i dont know these feels.

>free weights
>cant even bring them home

>told gym receptionist to have a good day
>granted me a '' +10% gains '' buff

>sabotaging your own gym in the falconeering championships.
My gym has a prestigious history in the Falconer Cup and you'd be fed to the manlets if you tried to pull that shit here.

>hit a 10 pound squat PR
>forget to register it with the Gains Management Bureau
>have my lifting licsence suspended for 3 months
>the judge said I can get it down to 6 weeks if I clean the manlet pit on Saturday mornings

>Gym Paleonthologist is finally back
>Excavation week at gym
>Everyone is excited digging fossils hidden in the Wheylands
>Except for the fucking gym code monkey
>He's so jealous of everyone making gains cause he's over 300lbs of pure fat
>mfw he disconnects the T-Rex mode rippetoe'd beginners fence and they all break free
>one of them gets close to some poor kids in the squat rack
>His poor vision can only detect people doing cardio
>He squats with perfect form to try to see them.
>I open up a gallon of milk to pull his attention
>It works, the kids have an opening to escape

At least the fat piece of shit didn't disconnect the Velocigainraptors fence, they could've stolen everyone's gains forcing them to do cardio

>manlet pit is full again
>the gym headmaster asks me to clean it up or I'll have my squat permit revoked
>decide to burn these little fuckers with a magnifying glass
>mfw the gym wizard conjured a week long night again, thus ridding me of any source of light

>Gym cannot find my membership
>Have to login as a guest and start at the bar again

I hope I at least get a progress code when I leave so I'm not just wasting my time

...

>working out on the 6th day of the week
>jym Rebbe sends ancient Jewish curses on your gains

>manlets escaped the manlet pic
>gym manager gives me gym gauntlets to fix the problem

>dumbbells switched over to solar power from diesel
>gym manager always loses coin toss with zumba cleric
>clouds the sky
>dumbbells out of order
>makes us curl entire squat racks at the smith if we complain

Tfw bloodsuckers keep sucking my gains out of me

Forgot pic

>not buying bitbean ar the gym exchange

This thread is /tv/, but with more weights.

Chiki Breeki Stalker!