Awkward Gym experiences

Share them, this one is recent
>always smoke before lifting
>stoned on chest day
>spotting gym bro on incline
>enter local dyel with a sleave tattoo that looks like he fisted the rainforest cafe
>wears beats headphones and typical bro gear
>always grunts on every rep, like REALLY loud and not a man grunt, but bordering on orgasmic assplay moans
>He's doing shoulder press and moaning with his 40lb dumbells
>the gym regulars are starting to look
>"uuuuuuugggghhhhh"
>more people are starting to look
>"EEEEEEUUUUUHH"
>at this point everyone in the freeweight section is looking at him
>dead quiet in the gym except for his prostate milked moans
>my high ass notices that all eyes are on him
>he lets out one final moan, higher and more orgasmic than the rest
>I cant hold it in, I let out one involuntary "HA" and immediately cover my mouth
>he spins around taking off his headphones
>his face when
>go back to spotting gym bro
>look up
>he's making his way to the front door

If you post here rainforestman, you're a bitch but i hope i didnt dent your confidence

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/V63WPVLiOH8
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

>gettin spotted for bench
>spotter towering over me
>can see up shorts
>have to close eyes or see hairy dick and balls for set

>saw an old man take pl8s off some poor bastards bar and didnt realize it
>his last set
>adjusts grip and clenches teeth
>braces for impact
>lifts up lopsided
>pl8s slide off
>pancakes guy on bench next to him
>group yelling

>woman shit herself on the treadmill

DUDE WEED LMAOXD

>woman shit herself on the treadmill
Did she keep running?

Left out the emergency exit and set the alarm off. Manager made the new kid clean it up

AHAHAHA Fucking hell its like its Wal-Mart

>lifting with brother
>gym is very very slow as usual. All normies. Never seen a fraud at this place in 5 years.
>music blasting
>we are set up at a squat rack talking about DMT.
>start talking about steroids and shitting on guys who use them
>turn to my left, see black guy benching with 150# dumbells, angrily
>comes up to me and asks if I "want to go outside?"
>what why?
>because you were making fun of me dawg.
>dude no I've never seen you before
>comes back 15 mins later in lockerroom and apologizes
>blames the tren

I've never heard a good thing about tren. This nigger was fixing to get killed because my brother carries a 380 in his deadlifting socks

>go in steam room after workout
>only one in steam room, relaxing af
>skinny chinese guy comes in, sits on the diagonal from me (I'm in the corner). It's pretty big steam room so I'm immediately concerned
>skinny chinese guy starts talking to me in broken English - maybe he just wants to chit-chat, so go with it
>have an autistic conversation, in which I talk about how weird it is that the best oly lifters are chinese when not too long ago they were starving communists
>skinny chinese guy starts miring me for some reason
>skinny chinese guy grabs my bicep and talks about how big and strong I am
>freak the fuck out because we're both sitting naked in a steam room alone together and this chinky fag is miring me and grabbing my non-existent bicep
The sad part is I've never been mired before or since. I was skinny fat then, and I'm still skinny fat now.

So... you didn't let him suck your sick?

No. I sucked him off first and he left after he finished, the narrow-eyed yellow fuck

Asian males and females are basically the same, should've fucked the twink

>with a sleeve tattoo that looks like he fisted the rainforest cafe
My nostalgic sides have left orbit user, fucking poetry

> Running on the treadmill.
> Fatty comes next to me with wearing sweatshirt with white stains on it.
> Smells like total shit.
> Starts mouthbreathing and looks over at babe next to him. She is clearly uncomfortable but keeps running
> Fatty says "hey you run pretty fast, bet I can run even faster"
> Babe pretends to not hear him and he puts the treadmill at 6.0
>After 2 minutes the fatass fucking pukes all over qtpie. She screams and runs out. He keeps running

>hot day, sweating balls
>every seat i sit on leaves an ass print
>roll up DL straps and leave them in my pocket
>go to lying hamstring curl (on stomach)
>final set get off
>sweat print of pants on bench as usual
>the straps in my pocket also leave a print and it looks like a dick
>gym chad walking by notices
>nicknamed big D ever since

My first day, it's probably not that bad, but I feel like the manager thinks I'm an idiot.
>Go to sign up at the gym
>Given tour of the gym by the manager
>He is shredded as fuck
>Mumbles and talks too quietly
>I can barely understand him, but I'm too shy to call him up on it
>I ask him to repeat himself several times and I mis-answer his questions
>Keeps looking at me with a sour look on his face
>Fill out paperwork and so forth
>Need emergency contact info
>I don't have my phone on me
>Have to walk in to the weights area and summon my brother to help with the info
>Brother writes details in the wrong spot, mind on his benching
>Have to scribble it out and write it in the correct spot
>Need to fill out bank details
>BSB and account number needed
>Don't know it
>Think fuck it and I put down my debit card details, so at least they have the potential to get my money to pay for the membership
>Hand in paperwork, with scribbles and all
>20 minutes later
>Manager comes up to me while I'm exercising
>Tells me I filled out the bank details wrong, and says to give him the correct details next time I come in
>Arrive two days later with bank details
>They are rejected
>He gives me the benefit of the doubt and lets me exercise that day
>A few days later, he tells my brother to get the proper details off me
>He gives him the same details I did (he got them off my mother to confirm the correct numbers)
>Still rejected
>Manager says he will wait a week and try again, just in case there is a complication from the bank
>One month later
>Haven't heard anything back from him, I guess all is okay
>tfw he probably thinks I'm a dumbass

That's fucking awesome.

Why do they need your bank information and all that shit? At my gym we just need your name and phone number (you use your phone to call and unlock the door) and that's it.

Underage b&

>in the weights room, pumping mad iron
>some Asian guy walks up to me as I'm starting my set and asks me to take a picture of him and his friend
>dude ask literally anybody else
>of course being the scrawny beta that I am I reluctantly stammer out a "um sure"
>take photo of these two fags and give back the phone
>Asian asks me "do you know who he is?", referring to his friend
>say no, should I?
>literally just some jobber
>tells me he's some footy player
>don't give a fuck, I don't even watch sports
>probably not even all that famous, most likely just plays on some local team no one cares about
>say something like "nice to meet you" and go back to working out
>footy fag laughs
>ignore them for the rest of the night
Fuck those guys. I don't give a fuck who you are but if you interrupt me when I'm trying to get big I will instantly hate you. Take your own damn pictures fags (that goes for all of you on this board), weight rooms have mirrors for narcisstic fucks like you

>380 in his sock.
It's nice to know I'm not the only one who does shit like this.

>Because my brother carries a 380 in his deadlifting socks

>This dude starts talking to me as I do my leg workout out of no where.
>Asks if he can work in
>"Sure man"
>Looks kinda fit but doesn't actually lift that much
>In between sets he goes an talks to random people
>super friendly all the time, compliments alot
>Couldn't tell for a while if he genuine or just a homo
>Eventually goes off to talk to this girl whose a regular and gets her number
>see him a few days later working out with her
>Doing flys near by
>Hear him just giving her a lot of advice and her getting more and more annoyed.
>She's getting mad
>they stop working out pretty shortly after

I see her in the gym still but not him.

To get the money to pay for the membership. How do you pay for your membership?

I'm 22, houses are very expensive here, even to rent. I'm saving up for one now.

is a Chinese twink called a chwink?

No they're called the average Chinese male

>See manlet bodybuilder always at my gym
>He's ripped as fuck but must be almost a foot shorter than me
>Total douche, laughs way too hard, loud as fuck
>Typical little man syndrome
>Grunts like crazy
>Likes to take shirt off in the middle of peak hours and practice posing
>Tries to give me broshake every time I walk in
>I normally get high before Thursday workouts
>One day get way too high
>Manlet starts grunting
>I start to grunt too but in a weird way like I'm taking a shit
>HHHUUNNNNGGG
>Every time he grunts I reply louder
>Couple of nerds start laughing nervously
>Encourages me to get even louder
>The manlet laughed too but he got the message
>He was quieter for 'bout a week before starting back up again

Direct Debit nigger - gIve them your name, account number, sort code and branch details. Do you pay in cash or something shady

>user makes fun of someone for being boisterous
You seem like the smaller person

>americans

I have his photo

>be me manlet never went to the gym or lifted anything in my life
>go to this small gym near by
>pretty small and contained, has a lot of machines but no space to breathe
>was told to do a couple of machines today
>still unfamiliar with the machines walking around looking for the ones to do
>this big tall gymrat doing lat raises in the way to the machine i needed to do
>try to use my size for my advantage and walk underneath his arm
>he notices me trying to squeeze in and stops and smiles(a disapproval type of smile) and looks at his gymbro on the other side
>they both smile
>realize that i interrupted his workout
>never go to the gym for another 2 years

>One fucking guy is taking up 3 DIFFERENT SETS by alternating between them rapidly
>I need to use 2 of them as they are the last part of my routine

Asians are weird man
Just the other day i was approached by two asian dudes from hong kong, came here for tourism and wanted to talk to me, and ended up talking to me about jesus christ and why they think he's the true savior of the world

that was me

Not him but i pay cash if i don't feel like writing my account info

must be nice to have a brother to lift with who can protect you from niggers and you never feel lonely

this is what you get for being literally autistic

> they think he's the true savior of the world
they're right, you know?

This, 2bh

>I must compliment you, you're the only person I've ever seen stretching at this gym.
w-what?
>I must compliment you, you're the only person I've ever seen stretching at this gym.
thanks, you too

You are talking shit? You who stinks up the WHOLE gym?

Today I used the sauna for the first time. I brought my towel in to sit on, I assumed the other guys in there were doing the same. Then a new guy comes in and plonks down this green board.

A guy gets up, picks up his green board.

I put my towel away and grabbed a green board.

Now this is some autistic shit

U mad whitboi?

Cash or this thing. I don't have to write anything down. Just like buying something at a grocery store.

Forgot pic

Posted this in another thread, but this one is more pertinent.

>Be a recovering fat fuck.
>Go to gym at midnight to avoid people.
>Middle of OHP set.
>Song changes on play list.
>It's "Not for want of trying" by Maybeshewill.
>It has the "Get Mad" speech from Network mixed in.
youtu.be/V63WPVLiOH8
>Start shouting along with the song.
"I'M MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE".
>Look to my right.
>Qt3.14 is staring at me like a deer in the headlights, like someone who knows they're about to die.
>Immediately shut up and continue with my set.
>She's still looking at me.
>Pretend my workout is finished and leave.
>Drive 10km to the nearest gym in the chain I go to and continue my workout.

>Drive 10km to the nearest gym in the chain I go to and continue my workout.
Goddamn wtf is wrong with this board?

I couldn't skip my workout, but if I kept trying to work out there I wouldn't have been able to give it my all because I would have been sperging out.

Alpha a fuark

I retract my statement

autism

>nicknamed big D

Not bad desu.

True

A couple of guys have asked me to spot them squatting in the power rack. I declined once and they were shocked, it was weird. The next time I just pretended I didn't know how to spot a squat.

I mean I'd spot with another person if they were going truly heavy, but I will not air squat behind you while you struggle with 2 plates over the comfort of safety bars

I pay for my membership yearly with a card. They never get my info and if i want to quit I dont have to awkwardly go in and cancle, just let the membership run itself out.

I also get a free month for buying it yearly (13 months for price of 12 basically)

>commercial gym
>every time i do DLs I notice some middle aged guy staring me down
>not casual glances to mire or critique form, full on staring
>months go by, wonder wtf his problem is
>eventually find out from people who work there he's mentally disabled. Not sure exactly what he had but definitely wasn't "all there"
>feel bad for silently judging him before, smile and wave when I see him aftrewards
>big mistake
>always asks me questions which are impossible to understand due to his speech impediment
>progressively gets friendlier and closer to me every workout until he's standing mere feet in front of me during DLs.
>"Hey its cool if you watch me but can you stand back in don't want you to get hurt
>OKAY! followed by a thumbs up snd doesn't move
>mfw when I had to deadlift with pic related staring me down until I moved and switched gyms

Not a gym experience but related I guess.
>decide to go out for a run at night
>only had baggy jogging bottoms to run in
>pockets are tiny so my phone and keys keep falling out
>decide to use tape to tape my pockets shut
>the tape was really shitty and kept coming unstuck
>decide to bring tape with me and run with it in my hand
>stop every minute or so to reapply tape to my pockets
>run for about 15 minutes before police come on the street
>they catch me right as i'm taping up
>tell me that local people have seen me acting weird and were worried that I was no some mad drugs or something
>had to explain to 2 police officers why I kept putting tape all over myself
>heard them laugh as they walked back to their car

>fisted the rainforest cafe

Haaaaaaaaaaaaa

>obsessed

funny and sad

>This nigger was fixing to get killed because my brother carries a 380 in his deadlifting socks
fucking kek

That was me one time, feel stupid now but the guy was nice about me being a retard

He probably just couldn't understand your speech impediment and I don't think he would have been a man or not the only man who was a little man

>tfw home gym master race
>tfw will never have interesting gym stories, bagetti spills
a-at least I don't have to wait on equipment

>ask a chick using the squat rack if I can work in
>she's half asian half spanish(?), can't really tell, either way shes 4/10 and probably ten years my senior. (looks like it anyway)
>Im not wearing headphones
>she was, but took them off and started to talk to me, nervously introducing her self, so I introduce myself, nice to meet you etc.
>bitch I just want to lift
>she starts talking about muscles that squatting activates, I don't really know what to follow up with except for 'yeah, squatting is a good leg workout',
>awkward pause as conversation lulls, shes says shes done with squatting and goes away

I don't know if I have autism or she does.

???

wew

>yeah, squatting is a good leg workout
You reminded me of this a little.

I think you have brain problems user

>at the gym around the time NBA finals started
>Really wanted to see LeBron beat the warriors since I hated Durant's weak move
>See that the game is on the TVs next to the cardio machines
>Start walking over there for my minus between sets
>Game's pretty close so far, Lebron's doing work and I think maybe the Cavs have a chance
>Midway through the third quarter
>I've grabbed a barbell and 45s and just brought it over in front of the machines to watch the game and do forearm work
>Durant starts going off hitting threes and playing good defense
>LeBron starts to stand in the corner and let Kyrie do all the work, barely affecting the game
>Start getting more and more frustrated with LeBron doing nothing
>I'll throw my hands up in the air, or give the jags guy gesture in pic related
>Durant comes down the court, pulls up and hits a dagger three in Lebron's face to put the warriors up by 10
>Say rather loudly, "classic LeBron!" in disbelief
>Cardio bunny who had gone to get water comes up to me and says
>"You know this is just a rerun of the Christmas game right?"

Wileycoyotewalksovercliff.jpf

What does being high have to do with any of that you piece of shit dudeweed stoners