Prison Workouts

It feels good thought. I'm not gay, but when I'm high I'd love a nice thick cock inside me, to make me moan like the little bitch I am. But it's just prostate estimulation, I don't feel in love for guys, I just think I can use their cocks just for sex and get stuff thanks to my ass. When I get back to normal those thoughts disappear.

This guy is woke. I also think like this.

Because virtually everyone in prison on a violent crime charge is an excellent genetic specimen.

Because you have literally nothing to do besides work out, read, watch TV and make sure you don't lose your mind. You're lifting weights 24/7, 7 days a week. There's nothing else to do.

That's what I do anyway, except I never have the time to do it because I always work. prison sounds so much better than real life

Veeky Forums

Lol at thinking you can't get roids in prison.

Actually your diet is government mandated and must meet certain requirements. Some prisons are shit holes and serve you gross shit, but its easy to eat a balanced diet and it's hard/expensive to 'cheat' on your diet and eat candy and chips and shit.

Also depends on the prison, but plenty do have actual gyms.

Almost all prisons have a gym. I get the feeling youre imagining some shit out of shawshank redemption because that isnt what a prison looks like outside of a couple supermax prisons in the south for people with multiple murders. Most feel kind of like a school but with cells.

>this

Sure buddy, don't forget to shave your crack next time, gotta get that ass smouth for your lov..oops, living dildo ;)

>so you spend all your time in the yard lifting weights or exercising in your cell.
B-b-b-ut muh rest

But being swole doesn't make you a fighter, are they retarded ? They should go for the people who did boxing

You laugh, but it happens

This pretty much, you can't do much so lifting is your only real escape

Can't speak for American prisons, only English ones

You can BUY whey and other protein enhancements.
Every week you get delivered a sheet of paper called a canteen list, it's basically a supermarket and you buy whatever you want.

I think I still have mine somewhere.

Also food inside isn't the WORST in the world, it's just boring stuff.

Why were you on prison, user?
Let me guess: cp

How is English prison? You English have some real tough motherfuckers.

Also, are those luxury European prisons real or just a meme? Saw a documentary on them.

I think being exposed to the dominance hierarchy of the prison environment activates dormant gene expressions that prepare you to be physically cable to survive.

I watched a lot of locked up. They get most of their protein from commissary peanut butter and tuna. A lot of prisons have some gym equipment and they also do calisthenics in their rooms. Sometimes they create makeshift weights (usually a pillowcase full of books or something). They also have a perfect sleep schedule (lights out at the same time every night).

Don't forget, violent felons are typically high test, it's probably why they committed a crime in the first place.

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Norway has crazy nice prisons, Sweden has quite nice ones aswell. Depending on the crime/behavior some people can apply to get a TV in their cell and stuff.

t. Swede who knows people who've done time

GBH, Assault

>How is English prison?
>Also, are those luxury European prisons real or just a meme? Saw a documentary on them.

It's not nightmarishly horrible I was in a CAT C (CAT D are open prisons, CAT A are big fuck-off no daylight hell's which I don't want to think about)
The WORST I had to deal with was bed-bugs and having to shit 2feet from where you eat and sleep.
Each cell has:
>15" flatscreen
>kettle
>Two beds
>Wardrobe, desk
>Window (that opens but has bars outside)
>Underfloor heating
>Sink
>And a toilet

Door is a solid metal with a lock that the prisoner can use once unlocked and has a window
Unlocked at 8:30am, 1hour social, locked until 6, one more hour of Social then that was it until tomorrow.

Gym was great!
3 tennis courts, open air football/soccer pitch
First floor was 50 treadmills, rows and cross fits machines
Basement was weights where you had pretty much everything you could want, also a wall of Flatscreen playing shitty MTV all day.
I mostly played badminton doubles

Really, it was mostly like a hotel with shitty guests and SUPER STRICT rules which if you broke, you had everything taken away.

>GBH, Assault

Someone who deserved it? Or are you an asshole?

they dont without steroids

I wish I could say yes he deserved it and that i was doing the right thing or something noble but no, I was a massive fucking cunt who hurt someone because I was a prick
We are on /better/ terms now but I WAY overreacted. He was right to press charges Thankfully I didn't serve very long, only 6 months

>GBH, assault
What did you do to the guy and why?

>shitty diet
>few if any heavy weights, mainly rely on body weight
Modern prisons are not gulags or medieval dungeons where the inmates live on water and bread. They eat normal food and have gym access.

>obviously no supplements, doubtful they get their hands on roids
Prisons are filled with drugs, make the connection yourself

looking the part is half the battle

if you are jacked learning the basics of fighting is gonna slam anyone apart from a serious pro level boxer or martial artist

I used to do a lot of judo, knowing the techniques only gets you so far, can't overcome large strength differences

i didn't even know this guy, but driving along with my brother, dude on bike pulls out and cuts us off, happens all the time.
turns out my brother DID know the guy, we pull up at some lights and we start giving him shit,
>it escalates and we start fighting
>he took off his helmet before the fight and leaves it on his bike
>i grab the helmet and hit him from the back, roughly where the collarbone is nearest to the spine
>he goes down hard
>ambulance
>police

like i said, i was a cunt, he was right to press charges
thankfully he didn't get too injured he can still drive his bike.

>Underfloor heating
I live in (a cold region of) Brazil and not even my rich friends have this.

Brazil has cold regions?

All three of you sound like cunts in that story desu. Glad it worked out okay.

Not sure what you would consider cold but in the south we have afew below 0 ºC days in the height of winter. The average minimum temperature varies from 6 to 12 °C (42.8 to 53.6 °F). In some cities the cold weather and snow are a tourist attraction for Brazilians from warmer regions.

>obviously no supplements, doubtful they get their hands on roids

How ignorant are you?

I did not know this
Thank you Brazil user, I have learnt something today

Elliot Hulse did a video on this
>because prison is such a competitive and masculine environment in which lifting and seeming to be strong can be the deciding factor on whether you live, die, get raped, or get your lunch stolen, your body will go all out and produce muscle mass like a fucking BEAST

How did army soldiers became jacked for centuries if all they had is bodyweight exercises and shitty nutrition? It's like you're getting memed hard.

Elliot Hulse is a fucking moron dude, literally the worst kind of bro-science/bro-advice out there

>ah yes, I also lift weights 24/7
>except I dont

half these meme protein shakes and lifting equipment only "work" because they make you keep to some kind of diet or regime anyway and aren't much more effective than normal diets or workouts

>obviously no supplements, doubtful they get their hands on roids
are you 12? serious question

>mfw retards unironically cite idealist works of art as examples of actual physiques

FPBP

...

Doesn't stress lower testosterone?

I've never been to prison. What are they shooting up, ass-roids?

I have this picture framed on my gym wall

You all need to quit watching movies and actually go to a real prison or jail. Almost everyone is skinnyfat, skinny, or chubby. The guys who are "ridiculously jacked" went in like that.

Stop letting Hollywood educate you on the real world.

I just met some black dude who came out of prison. Dude was swole as fuck, huge arms

...

ok bro

youtube.com/watch?v=FJk7pOjrGUw&t=625s

youtube.com/watch?v=AMowfhlv3CY

Tumblr? What is that? Never heard of.

And how did he look going in? You probably don't even know.

it depends on what side of the rape you are.

Fucking fagot.

Can inmates use the stairs!?
>youtube.com/watch?v=gcLeg5N5pYk&list=PLO0t9uMuq4Uw5LJ4trYq163TwdvwnlbSx&index=3

How do nigger cons workout
>youtube.com/watch?v=h8xelABTOK8&index=6&list=PLO0t9uMuq4Uw5LJ4trYq163TwdvwnlbSx

That nigga spend 10 years in federal.

>he's never been to prison
youtube.com/watch?v=xr6lVPhwB4k

They have jacked up cortisol levels, allowing them to workout a lot more and make gains faster. Also guys who go to prison are typically alphas with the highest natty testosterone levels in society. Also they get tons of drugs, including roids.

It's well documented that corrupt correctional officers and other outside connections smuggle in drugs and other contraband for inmates. It's not a stretch that steroids would be among them. You don't even have to leave your mother's basement to find this out. Just look up Prison documentaries on YouTube. Stop buying into the pop culture idea that prisons are impenetrable fortresses of punishment run by overlords of virtue. The environment isn't always as unforgiving as you think.

Do every american chanel speak to the viewers as if they were retarded kids?

Yes its FCC mandatory.

Anything else?

To be fair, they had to train carrying a heavy ass shield and wearing heavy ass armor

>How do guys come out of prison so ridiculously jacked?
they don't.
there are 4 45lbs plates in the yard. I've never seen anyone put more than 2 on a bar. for any exercise. the big fuckers rep 1.5 plate bench for like 12. those are the big guys.
I've studied what inmates can do. generally, they are lucky to maintain their lifts. I have never seen an inmate steadily progress in weight what so ever unless they were twink mode.
they are all DYEL faggots. their food is carb heavy shit, and so are the snacks from the food store. we use to offer beef jerky but fuckers would buy cases of them at a time, obviously trying to get protein for muscle growth. we nipped that in the bud quick.
inmates who roid are a problem though. we'd rather they smoke pot and sleep all day than use roids. the needles are weapons and generally makes them hard to handle.

Also, plenty of down time.

>I'm not gay, but when I'm high I'd love a nice thick cock inside me, to make me moan like the little bitch I am.

You ARE gay.

Some don't have weights. It's a prison luxury to have access but kind f a standard. Also who controls the area the weights are located and when.

Not only fgt but submissive fagot, thats like super gay.

you are in competition with all other males
its a fuckin jungle. the weeks are eaten by the strong. if you dont lift and become big you risk yourself of being muged, abused, rape.

Being close to only young agressive males gives your body the impression that it is super high competition for females. Not reproducing is as bad for your genes as dying, so your body goes all out building muscles.

you're a big country