Mfw rubbing coconut oil all over my arms and shoulders before going to the gym to get extra mires

>mfw rubbing coconut oil all over my arms and shoulders before going to the gym to get extra mires
>mfw doing some pushups before going to the gym for that extra pump

confess your dirtiest secrets Veeky Forums

Other urls found in this thread:

telegraph.co.uk/science/2017/05/05/eating-bogies-good-teeth-overall-health-scientists-conclude/
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if you actually do this then kys

I don't work out, I gave up. I now just wait for 50 years to pass so I can die of old age.
I'm not sure if I would be happy or sad if I found out that I have cancer. I haven't talked to anyone in days.

>on more juice than professional body builders
>"nah I'm all natty"

>Walking into gym
>See some dyel spraying him self with cooking cococut oil
>Continues to drop to the floor in the parking lot and do 5 pushups
>Ok whatever.png
>Be halfway into my first set and smell coconut coming from the squat rack
>Oh hell no
>LIGHTWEIGHT BABY
>4plates lmao, unracks and kill himself instantaneously.
>OH WHAT THE FUCK.PNG
>Finish my workout and go home
>Use Olive oil to cook my chicken breast and lube my cock up because who the fuck uses cocnut oil?
>Remember the dead oiled cunt, laugh while eating my chicken and rubbing one out. As I pass out laying in chicken breast, oilive oil and cum, I smell a faint scent of coconut as a voice whispers in my ear.. "lightweight baby.." and slowly I fade into the abyss.

do you want to talk about it user?

i spend more time lurking Veeky Forums than working out

I use my boxers like Zyzz when looking at the mirror.

I don't do any ab exercises since they involve a million reps per set and they are boring. Also, the pain in the abs is definitely the most annoying DOMS/soreness to have.

This

"I take liquid multis and maca root"

I rack up 200kg on the benchpress before leaving, so the guy that gets there next thinks the guy before him (me) is strung as foark.

Cringe

I work biceps and abs twice a week.

I train only upper part of body because I train mainly for bitches

*le cringe*

Quad doms are worse because you can't fucking walk. I guess they would go away if squatted more than once a weeks but fuck that

Quad doms are the best doms

>am twenty years old
>have spent most of my youth in mental hospitals
>everything is going great for now
>got back into a healthy social life
>have had gfs since then
>almost straight a's in school while sitting between all these 17-18yr olds
>could've been in college or abroad by now
>gains come slowly but steady
>under shower
>coughing
>think what I'd do if some doc found out I had cancer
>probably decline therapy and die
>everything is going great for now
>everything is going great

When I am 100% sure I'll have liquid shit I take it in shower

what does coconut oil on your arms do besides make you smell like coconuts?

What routine were you doing when you quit?

>pretend to hate when people comment on how buffed i got and how i dont like when people point it out and mire me infornt of everyone and touch my body
>actually love it and harvest it all to feed my ego and literally count how many people mired me

>pretend not to care how i look
>spend hours in front of the mirror looking and miring myself

>people ask me if i lift
>tell them "no, i just work around the yard a bit"

I wipe my boogers on benches, machines, etc. when people aren't around.

you fucking animal

Me too, shit's fun.

I caught a cute girl at work picking her nose. I asked her where she stashes them. She confessed to me that she eats them. I made fun of her and teased her that I would tell the whole office. This lead to us hanging out, hooking up, and me realizing her booger eating is the least of her issues.

I have never wiped down a bench in my life and don't plan on ever doing it. Fuck you.

Also I spend well over half an hour in the gym hogging the pull up bar so I can do weighted chin ups every single workout.

wtf

The craziest part is this

telegraph.co.uk/science/2017/05/05/eating-bogies-good-teeth-overall-health-scientists-conclude/

It's actually one of the healthiest things you can do to eat boogers.

Brian Alsruhe has cancer, hopped on roids and is at least living the life fully

just a thought