Prison

I've been accused of doing dumbs shit. Key word accused
How do I prepare to survive

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boyhole unclenches xF

seriously tho it depends how long you have until prison, what you look like right now, and what type of prison (e.g. low-security vs high-security)

What were you "accused" of?

user what did you do to get accused

I have like 2 months or less....wtf do I do

Is that king slayer?

Depends on the jail, how long you're going to be there, and what you did.

get as big as possible as soon as possible

The movie is shot caller
I don't know but I'm worried
Fml

pushups, sit ups, dips, pretty much any bodyweight exercise inmates do in their cell. also start practicing how to sharpen toothpicks into shanks and maybe some kegel exercises just in case you have to sell your body for some shoes or something. good luck

roid to get big, learn how to fight dirty (krav maga?)

alternatively work up your blowjob technique

>toothpicks
meant to write toothbrushes

>tfw don't want to roid but also don't want ass plunged in

Fuck I hope I can use Veeky Forums

well first off you need to stop worrying. unless you go to a high security jail or you got accused of diddling kids most people in jail are just trying to survive and won't care about you. i heard of consensual gay stuff but never actual rape. but acting like a scared bitch and not standing up for yourself will make you an easy target for bullying.
t. served 1 year in minimum security

...

What was it like? It may seem a little more dramatic online then it actually again I've just been accused of some bullshit that won't hold.

>instead of sleep he meditated four hours each night

Is this possible IRL?

Don't be a bitch, don't look down during processing, keep your eyes up, make eye contact, if somebody fucks with your food beat the shit out of them, if you get stabbed don't say a thing, if somebody tries to rape you fight back. Work on core strength, grip strength, and learn how to take a punch without pussing out, mind your own fuckin business. If you can't manage all that, then learn how to suck dick.

no

Watched that movie last night, was really good.

Hard to say. 20 minutes of meditation has been found to have a greater alleviation of mental fatigue than a 20 minutes powernap. That does not necessarily mean that the same could be said in an 8 hour scenario. I would also suspect that your hormones would be completely shot by the lack of sleep

What, did she tell you she was 18?

this

Inmates can smell fresh fish trying to play billy badass a mile away. Just don't give anybody a reason to fuck with you and you'll be fine. Also, don't join a gang if you ever want to have a normal life again and repeat after me

>just trying to do my time

no, idiot

ID like to not have my body punctured by any object

youtube.com/watch?v=CybGo6hALVo

2021 and 2015

Patrice is dead proof that all men need to do to get laid, is character

What makes it worse is I've never been in a fight before

Sink or swim. Not much more to it than that. You'll see your own character if the situation comes. Better hope that you have more pride and rage than you do fear