Which person lived the greatest life in all of history?

Me.

Thomas Jefferson could give Napoleon a run for his money in that regard, particularly since Jefferson's expansion of his country remained permanent, and Jefferson spent his later years founding a university and boning his slave waifu instead of languishing in exile.

Evil Kinevil

Uh, except Napoleon was surrounded by European superpowers whereas Jefferson only had to deal with stone age injuns and proto-beaners.

>cucked by your wife
>your wife dies of pneumonia after getting fucked by a chad in the snow
>"one of the most glorious empires ever" loses a war to Haiti
>surrender, don't die fighting like a hero
>demand an anglo ship because you're scared to be anywhere other than in their strong arms
>break an oath and fight again
>surrender again
>die, bored, fat and disgraced - an absolute failure who damned millions of your countries best men to ignominious deaths.

I wouldn't want to swap places with Napoleon so his life was far from great in the sense that it was great for him though I will concede few individuals have had a singularly greater impact on history.

>your wife dies of pneumonia after getting fucked by a chad in the snow
Who was this thot, and who was this chad?

well he was from Corsican nobility

Octavian

>your wife dies of pneumonia after getting fucked by a chad in the snow

the thot was Josephine post-divorce from Napoleon who was having a nice chat in the garden with Alexander of Russia, begging him to protect her children and grandchildren as Napoleon was fucked.
The absolute state of this board

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Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ lived the single greatest life demonstrable. His life was so great that billions of people across the Earth to this very day upon hearing His Story end centuries of ancestral tradition and become His disciple.

lmao

Justin Bieber.

>Got ridiculously rich at a young age doing literally nothing
>Had an army of underage girl ready to die for him
>Broke more hymens than Genghis Khan

Louis XIV had absolute power throughout his whole life basically.

>Which person lived the greatest life in all of history?

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the whole dying in exile thousands of miles from your home in the middle of the ocean thing doesn't sound too great

Julius Caesar

Yeah, but he looked like the piss boy.

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>constant family troubles
no thanks. I don't want to have to imprison my own daughter

Diogenes had a good thing going, just because his ideal life was pretty easy to achieve.
Otherwise, its probably some 18th century French aristocrat who died before 1789

that wasn't his wife then

Diogenes

oh yes, just not at that point anymore, sorry I sounded like a jerk

he was just saying that jefferson had a better life, not that he was a superior man

Beat me to it. No man was this comfy

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>die, bored, fat and disgraced
>fat
what

Hard to beat a man whose life and power didn't plateau until his 90s

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The Nap kinda let himself go in his 30s or 40s

Grace Kelly 100%
>Born rich
>Born beautiful
>Raised in a happy family in safe, majority-white America
>Follow acting dream
>Succeeds
>Becomes massive movie star
>wins Academy Award for best actress
>Marries an actual Prince
>Becomes Princess of Monaco
>Has a happy family of her own
>Becomes a beloved ambassador/icon of elegance and style
>loved by everyone
>Dies quick in a car crash in her fifties before old age and disease can take its toll
>Remembered lovingly for all time

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Jesus of Nazareth
Che

>nobody picking comfy Hugh Heffner

Ptolemy Soter. Conquered the known world with Alexander, while banging a famous pornstar, didn't die like a fagget at 33. Went on to found he own dynasty in Egypt that lasted a few centuries. Lived until his 80s.

He had fresh 13 years old British pussy at disposition tho

Artemisia I of Caria.

>be a sadistic Turkroach princess
>commission a squadron of warships and go pirating because you're bored
>join Xerxes' fleet during the invasion of Greece
>plunder a minor Greek city-state
>become the most wanted war criminal in the Mediterranean with a massive bounty on your head
>betray the Persians in battle so you can kill your rivals in the fleet
>trick Xerxes into thinking you were actually the hero of the battle and get rewarded with your weight in gold
>convince him to send his best general to his death in a land campaign just for lulz
>retire rich and comfy to your kingdom and oppress the peasants for the rest of your days
The fact that even the 300 movie had to tone down her character significantly tells you just how ridiculous a life she lived.

>dies quarreling with her daughter in the car
>probably had to deal with seconds of terror knowing she and her daughter would die

It could have ended better tho

end this meme. Betsy was pure

You're intentionally editing out how she died. She got cucked by her boyfriend and tortured him to death out of despair before committing suicide. Maximum uncomfy.

Literally minor nobility and in the context of France, they might as well have not been nobility as the revolution allowed non nobles to achieve far more than they could before based on their merits.

No me

The cuck thing is a meme, he had like twenty something mistresses while Josephine fucked a few guys.

t. lindybeige

>he literally banged them for just 5 minutes and then went back to work
>One who had to spend the night with him used to screw the clock ahead so she could go earlier

Bah gah I love history

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>sold into slavery

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>Turkroach
>lived over 1000 years before Turk invasion of Anatolia

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Benjamin Franklin

>all of his own merit

Please, he had fantastic generals which he relied heavily on and constantly and abused French soldiers and mistreated them.

Sir Sidney Smith led a far greater life interfering with Napoleon than Napoleon led himself.

I think it's probably Augustus Caesar.

>Broke more hymens than Genghis Khan
Proof?

Without a doubt

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Ramesses the Great without doubt.

>fucked his sister
>fucked his daughters
>had other 90 kids
>one of the most powerful pharoahs

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He also defeated the Hittites single-handed, according to Ancient Egyptian CNN.

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In no particular order:

>Alexander the Great.
>Julius Caesar.
>Napoleon.
>Genghis Khan.

But the truth is that some billionaire living today has a much better life than anyone ever had before in the history of humanity given how he has access to pretty much anything these old emperors and conquerors could never even dream of, including the most attractive women of any age and ethnicity they want.

I don't think you can attribute "great" to any modern life. What real glory is there to be had by any one individual.

What can anyone do today to really ensure they survive in memory.

The curse of the roach is upon the land. If you live in Anatolia, you are a roach.