Some manlet was kneeling during the gyms anthem today

>some manlet was kneeling during the gyms anthem today
>turns out he was protesting how the gym guards treat them in the pits
When will they learn

>Gym Chronomancer keeps resetting time-Under-Tension, zapping gains
>Chrononauts are still attending 1970 Mr. Olympia so they can't send him back beyond time
>Tfw

>Gym alchemist transmuted my plates to gold while I was lifting
>Had to do the roll of shame

FUCKING STOP

>gym has recent infestation of ganes gublins
>gym cleric stands atop bench preaching the Word of Zyzz in effort to banish the gublins
>gublins made a Sacred Pact with the manlets
>the preaching of the cleric is no longer strong enough to banish the now Manlet Gublins
>through the Sacred Pact, the newly enhanced Manlet Gublins manage to escape The Pit™
>gym now over run
>Manlet Gublins scratch your ankles and suck out your Ganes

>sitting on the bench press next to the 'let pit
>tossing crumbs of whey to the manlets and watching them quack and squabble over them between sets
>music from the gym street musician faintly in the distance
>look over and see the gym old men playing weighted chess

Another lovely day in the gym park

>cleric
>not hiring a gym paladin

clerics are pussies, gym paladins are big guys you can count on

>be me
>5'6"
>toiling away in the manlet pits
>longman comes by
>his body obstructs what light was able to come in, a shadow is cast over the entirety of the pit
>a massive bellow which shakes the free weights and mirrors is let out, mocking our efforts to get manlet gains
>longman leaves

dont you lanklets have anything better to do?

>5'11
>tallest in my clan
>we live in the peace and security of the manlet pit
>through the iron bars that cross the opening of the pit we occasionally see the bizarre stretched out forms of the long ones
>we are afraid, but know that they do not descend into the pit often
>one night I am awoken by screams of terror
>leaving my wigwam, I am consumed by fear at a horrible sight
>a long man has seized our sacred clan barbell
>without it we will be doomed to skeledom
>as clan tallest it is my responsibility to stop him
>I quickly strap on my battle lifts and leap into action
>his height is unbeatable
>his arms are so long he has hit me before I'm even close to him
>his strides are so great that I can't catch up with him
>he circles around me, pummeling me with his freakish arms and laughing his booming laugh
>suddenly I remember the words of power the gym priests taught me
>"it's easier for short men to build muscle"
>the laughter stops and the long man hisses, recoiling away from me
>"women don't like men that tall, you're not a basketball player"
>the long man appears ill, his grip on the barbell weakens
>"5'10 is the perfect male height"
>the long man appears pale and thin
>he drops the barbell
>"LANKLETS BTFO"
>the air from my shout hits the long man and he blows away like a piece of papet caught in the wind
>shouts of victory echo from across the village
>my clan is safe

> attempting deadlift pr
> have to pass a strength check for it
> roll a d20
> get 1
> fail and have to pass a constitution check to avoid injury
> 1 again
> take 1d20 physical damage and -5 dex/con/str debuff for the next few weeks

fuck

haha epic whos gonna post it to /r/Veeky Forums bros :D