FUCK ME

FUCK ME

Gather round kiddos, lemme tell you why the military is garbage when it comes to fitness.

>Be 25 (26 next week)
>Have lived on my own off base, cooked my own food damn near every meal, precisely prepped and portioned for perfect macros. Working out at gym off base because I'd like a gym with more than one bench and more than one squat rack, also open 24 hours. I am literally in the best shape of my life.
>Get orders to Pendleton
Dascoolmang
>FUCKING HORNO AREA
Can't live off base anymore
Chow hall here is literal garbage.
>"Meat for Prison or Government use only"
>Salad bar is hot to the touch
>This chicken is still bloody
>LITERALLY ALL THE FOOD IS UN/UNDERCOOKED
Next chowhall is 5 minutes away (SOI Area). Somehow fucking worse.
Next area over is also trash.
2 facilities are actually edible. Unfortunately theyre both 15-20 minutes drive away. Aint always got that kinda time.
Food options on this side of base? Dominos, a burrito place, and a coffee/smoothie place (which is actually pretty damn good, but only open about 3 hours a day)
Its like 15 minutes to the gate (which has a sonic, and a shit tier grocery store, which is useless to me, as I'll shortly explain) then I can leave base and get food out in town (hope the 5 isnt backed up, fucker!)

"Stop whining user, just cook your own goddam food"

I'd fucking love to, but I like in the barracks. I don't have a kitchen anymore. Not even a community kitchen. I have a minifridge and a microwave. Das it.

I LOVE being back with Marines, but FUCK this shit is retarded. It should NOT be like this.
What do Veeky Forums, i can feel my gains fleeing me.

pic retated, mfw

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should have went airforce

>go down a none SF/SOF route
>thinking he's going to be physically fit in the mil
top lel
I know plenty of servicemen that packed on the pounds after boot camp

Shut up faggot should've gotten a real job

t. enlisted army faggot

airborne leads the way

Buy an electric frypan
I lived on base making my own food for 3 years buddy, its not that hard
Shit nigga I cooked all my food in a god damn shandwhich press for a year

This it's easy as fuck

Get a hot plate or an electric griddle and get frozen meats and frozen veggies

electric frypan and you can live off of eggs and veggies. for snacks stock up on olives and like sardines since you eat meat.

Suck off Isreali cock for protein not just shekels

Good goy

I'm at MCT right now.
And yeah, chow hall sucks ass.
Basically just have to buy your own food at this point dawg

Was in a program, developed pneumonia. Going back as soon as I can. But you're def right about the people packing on wait after boot. Seen it happen plenty. No different then civilian side really, it's all about personal discipline. I've stayed in excellent shape, just real pissed at the nutrition options right now honestly. Fuck Sodexo.

Good idea and I've been considering a hot plate, just need to workout the logistics with so little storage space.

Go to the area 52 PX tomorrow and get porters

You get mail right?
see if you can get a hot plate and a pot ordered and use that to cook

I thought military dudes were supposed to tough no wonder we keep losing to gooks and arabs

pic related, is me

Grunts yea they fit the image usually. Not jacked usually, but in good shape. The fucking POGs though, fat nasty slobs.

Have had porters. Its not the worst, but my point here was that I eat healthy. Sometimes I even want something green!

Ramones is literally right next door and exactly the same as porters

You think thats bad? Try running 7miles 5 days a week at a shit ass 9min mile pace. See what it does to your fucking knees.

Military was horrible for fitness. I went in doing 100 pushups in a row, by the end of basic I was barely doing 50.

What does this image mean?

>shit ass 9min mile pace.
Because slow people are in style.

And this is never used. And never should be used in modern war.

Should have gone with Air Force if you wanted good housing.

As an aside: pic related is of a bong university graduate trainee officer taking part in a prestigious multinational military fitness competition.

Kek, gernan armored infantry guy here.
Our food ranges from okayish to quite good.
You can always leave on evenings if nothing is scheduled then and every base has a gym too.

Feels good to get a shitton of money for that too. :^)

idiot they have food in oceanside, if you're north base go to cafe del sol south side San clemente, and if you were smart, which you're not (lolmilitaryfags), you'd get a meal prep service with all that government chedda you earn and have nothing to spend on you might as well. hell im looking at one rn thats ~$8 a meal and if you're bitching this much over chow hall slop you'll probably shell out for something decent and ez.

There's a lot of pictures of Down's syndrome folks on the board today.

CAn't you just eat military rations? Add some protons a couple of multis..

wrong pic

>I'm at MCT

Stfu dumb boot

2 part joke, first the green weenie is a culture icon in the marine corps for getting fucked over. Have to stay late for no reason? Green weenie fucked ya. Leave cancelled and youre stuck on a shitty field op? Green weenie strike again.
Second, this is EXACTLY how you feel 12 miles into a ruck run with a 50 pound pack

Not shit? I had no idea haha

As I said, its 15 to 20 just to get to the gate, then another 5 to 10 to get to san clemente which, yes has great food, but eating out every fucking meal stacks up quick. I'd like to have some cash saved up when I get out. Not going full on(((MUH SHEKELS))) but shit i'm not a fucking moron.
My only concern with a meal prep service is delivery time. Base post has fucked me over in the past, took a month to get 1 letter. But yea 8 bucks for a balanced meal is something I could go for. Which service are you looking into?

LMAOing @ ur life
t. Airforce

MREs for the US are really terrible and unhealthy, they're designed to keep everything clogged up in your body for long missions when using the bathroom isn't optional.

Even fast food is more healthy than them,

At least pendleton has a great gym.

I have never met a marine that was in bad shape. Just shut the fuck up faggot.

Go to the 24 area chow hall my nig

Lmao dumb infantry, my flight line chow is great

There is literally nothing wrong with Jews or Israel

t. unironic zionist

I had so much fun at MCT. What company are you?

Should've gotten stationed in Okinawa lel
I'm living the life out here... Looking forward to applying for another extension

What does fit think about the Navy?

Quit being a cockmonkey and get a slow cooker and deal. I'm stuck in the barracks again even though I shouldn't be, and I've put on muscle since I've gotten to this duty station. Also, Pendleton isn't that fucking bad, there are plenty of things right out of any gate you go out of.

Unless you're going into the Medical field, don't.

And also this. Paige Fieldhouse is tits.

GOOD

TAKE EXTREME OWNERSHIP OF THIS SITUATION

IT'S YOUR PROBLEM? IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

GET IT DONE

UP BEFORE THE ENEMY

POMMEGRANNET TEA

VICTORY

AMERICA

FIND A WAY

OUT

You think so? I was highly considering it. Maybe the Airforce is the way to go

I thought Oki was strict as fuck and no fun allowed?

Air Force is the most lax out of all 5 branches. Also the one with the comfiest bases and living situations. Just get ready for Marines to hate you, since AFBs and MCBs are like night and day.

That was only temporary ever since that contractor killed that Okinawan girl. Most curfews and rules don't stay for long. But yeah, life on Oki is pretty great.

>cheap as fuck living
>good as fuck food
>beautiful weather (despite the humidity)
>$3000 stock 5-manual Toyota Supra
>locals treat you real well

Pretty much

It's good to hear the eased up, I'm trying to push a package through for MSG duty, I'll probably look at Oki for a duty station once I'm done with that.

Speaking of the air force a friend of mine is now on trial for sneaking a 15 year old cunt onto his base, he's utterly fucked now...

Why would he even think of doing that?

As a sexual thing?

>their women are all hot
That tends to happen in the branch of the armed forces that does nothing. Women weren't even getting in the marines in significant enough numbers until the PC brigade banned bar lifts for them.

This. As soon as I read the OP I knew he wasn't Air Force. You shouldn't choose a branch based on how cool you think the uniform is

>corpsman
>thinking he isn't complete garbage anyway

I can count on one hand the number of corpsman i served with who weren't either obese, incompetent, or flamingly gay to the point it made people uncomfortable.

Doc's live off their reputation of "devil doc" and "taking care of muh marines" but they don't do shit besides fall out of hikes and tell boots to change their socks.

Did he put her in the trunk? That's what I did, I didn't get caught.

>That tends to happen in the branch of the armed forces that does nothing
They work, they just also care about quality of life more than other branches, and the Air Force tends to have smarter people.

ITT: ZOGbot gets what it deserves

I like being a Marine, I'm not OP tho

Golf
We're the last company to throw grenades and shoot the m203

Ah I was Hotel, I wanted to see if you knew my combat instructors

enjoy loosing your gains and returning to dyelton mode fellow comrade

atleast your not an infantryman.... right?

Question for you: why do GIs in the military type and talk so stupidly?

If you want to play grammar nazi, there's an upvote oriented website with a cool alien logo that may be more to your liking

fuck do you krauts have to deal with as much political bullshit?

also how much do you have to carry your packs as mechanised infantry?

>stupidly
alright Kanye

youtu.be/ePEAj7Q5bv0

I'm actually staying in the Hotel squadbay. Our company is too big so we had some overflow

Nice man, I had fucking T Mobil during MCT and could only get reception at the top of that tall ass hill on liberty. Were you India company during boot camp by any chance?

>letting the recruiter talk you into being a grunt

idiot
>pog reservist
>rolling in benefits
>bragging to civilians
>go to college too
>get pussy
>constantly make fun of friends in OKI

You really fucked up man.

Also
>by the time i get out i'll have my masters or at least be very close
>mfw everybody is under the impression once I get my degree i'll re-enlist as an officer so everybody treats me nice
>mfw im not re-enlisting

because they don't speak real english and only talk in dumbass military slang

my sgt maj refers to his mouth as his "suck"

>enlist
>officer

It's called commissioning

you can commission my penis

Nah. I was Charlie. I have verizon, but I don't dare go to verizon hill because I don't want to get chewed by an NCO

Your penis' pros and cons are unsatisfactory. Sorry.

If you have your phone please volunteer for firewatch everynight and try to get proof of the lady in white

there's literally nothing wrong with being terminal lance

Just leave army and find a respectable job

>Op is a pog ass boot bitch and is complaining the post

The ghost?

Corpsman for grunts.

Unfortunately, this is more accurate than I'd like. I've been on a warpath as a CFL trying to fix mayo tankers. As far as competence goes, there's a pretty clear line between Great lakes corpsmen, and the San Antonio corpsmen. To the third, you realize "Docs a faggot" is a meme, right?

Docs a faggot

You want a silver bullet? I'll penetrate you.

N-no homo

no the barracks slut
yes of course the ghost

>tfw getting out in 360 days + o0 days of leave
>tfw getting called off CQ recovery for hand receipts

Fuck the army

Get married faggot get dat BAH
>stationed JBLM
>good sized city of Tacoma next door where COL is quickly rising, and BAH with it
>humble wifey with good paying job, almost matching my income
>blueapron delivering restaurant quality shit right to our door
Also at Ranger batt the chow hall lets you take as much food as you want, lmaoing at your life

Ranger batt wont let nonrangers into their dfac last time i tried in 2014

Get a panini maker or an electric camping stove or something that you can just plug into a wall outlet to cook. Then grab items from the mess and hit up that trashy local grocery store to grab some ingredients to cook with. You just need to relearn cooking-- just with different ingredients and methods.

Yeah don't come into my dfac faggot. It's closed until January anyways

MSG is gay. It's a super dope party, but your job is literally firewatch. It's not as fun as the recruiters make it seem

when the fuck did people at MCT get to use phones and computers

>boot

I'm mostly interested for the travel aspect, I want to live places where most Westerners never get to visit like The Congo or Burma or Mongolia or something.

i hope you die

That stuff is pretty dope; just be prepared for some state-of-the-art fuckery, depending on your detachment commander. Like being out to dinner and then getting called in for a drill, 12 hours at post one, etc. You will see some awesome parts of the world too and probably fuck some foriegn dignitaries if you're atleast somewhat charismatic

Yeah, I'd be giving up a pretty skate existence as an Airwinger in Hawaii to do it, but foriegn puss and travel is too tempting to pass up.

Also be wary that there's a high chance your first year will be ass. Danger zones and some other embassies have restricted liberty, some of which don't even let you leave the house.