I am so bad at online dating

San francisco/bay area?

damn you fucked up

First thing I say is "nice face". It sounds fucking autistic because it is. But it generally always gets a reply.

>Unless you're ugly

dont be ugly, have a good profile, send an interesting/funny message

yes my dude

Are you from here? I generally feel like it's a lot harder since there's more guys than girls, and most guys are already all pretty fit. It's like hard mode here.

...

+ Everyone is rich

I love the city itself and the surrounding nature area, but the people are eh.. I should go to Montana or some random state.

all of this is true, but there's also a FUCK ton of ugly incel computer programmers. If you're decently tall + white (sorry, true) + don't have a hideous face (sorry, also true xD) you should be doing alright. It's all relative desu

>tfw not white
Where should I go bros?

If dubs reply "the ting goes SCREEEE RA
PAT PAT PAT PAK CAC CA
SKEBEDE PAT CAC
ana pootoo bORRO BOOM
skeeYAT TOOT TOOT
coot coot toom toom
poom POOM"

whats your race / height

That's not funny.

Asian / 6' 1/2"

how many scoops?

back to wherever you came from

Conversing about Kale was your first mistake. Keep the convo light and changing to keep attention for a little while.

4 of course. C'mon!!!

to hell

Copy paste this and then b urself and have some empathy that you are a male that could kill her easily and keep that in mind while you talk. Also love her. And have fun talking! Here it is:

Hey I know this is kind of weird and pushy haha, I just got your kik from okc. But would you like to have sex with me? I'm not a creep or a pervert, just a genuine guy. I would treat you with respect and the sex would be good. I can even make you squirt if the connection is right haha. I will not judge you or think you're "easy". So yeah excuse me if I come across a little uncalibrated but I think you're attractive, so what do you think :) haha

...

Just flex a 'cep and say

"How's this for a start?"

It's not that hard, then again, I'm not autistic like you, and I know what girls want.

If you have a good personality and are good looking you'll be fine.

It works i swear

Asian is god tier to be if you're jacked, girls think of you as an "exotic" catch or some shit. If you're not fit you're fucked tho

advice from a friend (female):
>keep it light, fun, and short

advice from me:
>pick one of their pictures and say something interesting about it

>Berkeley grad
>turbolib and ultra feminist guaranteed

You dodged a bullet, QT or not.

...

don't be ugly

hahahahaha

that actually made me laugh hard when I read that. who cares if you don't get a response dude, just have fun with it

...

ah you should be okay desu. although there is a stigma against asian dudes. fuck it man if u got a big dicc its cool. just dont have a happa kid

>working in marketing
she certainly knows how to advertise THE TIDDIES

>Tfw got a qt virgin gf off tinder; been together for about 2 years
>Routinely while fucking with my mate's tinders get them dates
>Have literally gotten my mate a date on tinder while half drunk and eating maccas

It's not super hard guys.

Basically don't draw out the chat, don't pull shitty pickup lines, don't backpedal or write dumb shit like "haha", "lol", "rofl" or "jks". Don't use emojis constantly. Ask them out for coffee or hot chocolate relatively soon, and be careful not to wall of text them.

Ama if you want, since I know you autists need all the help you can get.

Damn my nigga.

how attractive are you?

Honestly? Solid 6. Pretty average with one or two nice features.

...

what sort of ice breakers do you use? In person I have no issues, but online dating im just a 6, getting fit to up to an 8, but still, not much Chad potential. Point being, teach me sensi

Nah, Kale was an easy opener, plus he could have came up on some kale and met her in person quick like. Picky eater cock block if you ask me.

Can you just post some screencaps of conversations that end with you closing dates?

Guise help what are good ideas for a profile picture? I have some okay social photos but nothing of me alone and I basically never take selfies. Should I suck it up and take one whenever?

Selfies aren't good for these things. Ask a friend to take some pictures of you.

Yeah I figured as much. I do have a friend who is willing to do that but every time he's over and we discuss it, I look like shit, plus the most recent solo candids he has of me are bad too.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's a waiting game and I am impatient

Depends if I'm doing it for me, or for my friends. Also depends on the girl. I've done all sorts of shit. My absolute favourite:
>What if I told you I spend my time cruising the highways on a Harley Davidson, wind whipping through my hair while wearing a leather jacket and sporting a devil may care attitude?
>I don't, but what if I told you I did?
I have no idea how the fuck that one worked, but from her bio the girl in question thought of herself as "quirky", so she loved it.

Mostly though I just ask them an offbeat question about something most people know.

Eg one of my mates drives a red car. I was dcking around on his tinder and said something like "Tell me [girl], did you know that red cars go faster?" and took the conversation from there.

The thing with tinder is that its really just a mthod of chatting. You say you have no problem in person? That's pretty common. In real life you have a lot of options for how to chat away to a girl. Body language, cool dates, hell even tone of voice. Plus in real life there isn't a 10 minute wait time if one of you doesn't see their phone notification. So try to get off tinder asap. And I don't mean onto snapchat. I mean ask to meet for coffee (or hot chocolate, a lot of people don't drink coffee) and chat in person. You'll quite possibly fizzle out a lot, but fuck it, you'll at least have fun. Don't be creepy though; remember that they're meeting a strange man. A lot of people seem angry that girls don't want to go hiking, or get in their car with them or some shit. My first date with my gf was a double date with her friend and her friend's bf. Funnily enough, worked in my favor, as the friend liked me . Also set an actual time. "Coffee next week?" will usually get a yes, but then if they forget or schedule something else you're fucked. "Ok, how about this Tuesday around 11?" will make it an actual plan.

What kind of issues do you have, user?

Nope. As I said, been with my gf for a little over 2 years, and that was many phones go. Don't even have tinder on this phone, since I stopped when we became "official".

The last few are on about 3 different friend's phones. I know one autistically raged out and deleted tinder, but I'll see if I can get the other two to send me screencaps.

Got any hobbies user? Sports or hiking would be my first go. I used to have a picture from my shoulders up taken from a good angle, but I was wearing an animal onesie. Enough "quirk" to avoid it being a douche shot.

Could be worse, you could be matching with only black chicks. I'm a ginger and I have a theory that black chicks and ginger men are about as equally undesirable , hence all the matches .

My only social hobby is swing dancing, really. I have a picture of me dancing with someone else that I was going to use as an accompanying photo. Also scrolled through my jewbook (it's deactivated) and found a decent (maybe) but older photo that I could use. A rare photo of me smiling.
I wish dating apps didn't require you to use jewbook and automatically use your profile picture as your first pic. Wish I could just manually select photos from my phone for everything.

I know I used to make a folder that was set to only be able to be seen by me, and dumped my photos in there. Could still access them on tinder, but nobody else could see them on my facebook.

Swing dancing seems pretty perfect though. It's interesting and relatively fun.

How old is the photo? But it sounds pretty good to me.

Nice. Lindy? East Coast? Charleston?

Well I'd like to try out Bumble actually, and later on if I get super desperate, I guess I can try Tinder. I believe Bumble pulls your fb profile photo though and then you can choose whatever else you want from your phone. A friend was showing me how it works one night.
Swing dancing is fun, yeah. Easy date idea too. Also, the photo is around a year old, maybe a little under. Nothing has dramatically changed other than my hair growing out.

Lindy (I feel Charleston is a given within but I'm not too knowledgable on what exactly East Coast entails).

notice me senpai

I've never tried Bumble myself, so my advice isn't really relevant in terms of actually using the app. Sounds like your friend is the man to talk to.

A year out is still definitely current, it sounds like a pretty solid choice. I had a female friend who posted a picture of herself from almost 3 years ago (before a large weight gain) and couldn't understand why it was a shite idea. Kek, didn't end well.

Sounds like you've got it in the bag user. Enjoy the swing dancing; they probably will too.

good lorn that girl is wifey material

It's fine. I appreciate it. Really, all I know about Bumble is what she showed me and it's simple enough, I'm just fucked for that one profile pic I don't have which is preventing me from starting this whole mess.
Jeez why would she even? I'll grab that one pic at least for another photo option and maybe I can start this shit in the next week or two. I'll see my picture-taking friend Tuesday morning so if anything else, he can snap a shot of me chilling in class or before.

Same feel senpai, doesn't help I live in a really white part of the country, I'm just glad I'm not short, that'd be the final nail in the coffin. At least I'm around the average height of the dudes around here