Fuck the world

Be me
>be diagnossed with autism
>get depressed and eat too much and get fat at 7
>put on a gluten free diet so it will cure my autism
>this was back when gluten free bread tasted like shit
>at afterschool care everyone gets ice cream and i get soy ice fake cream shit or crappy strawberrie sorbet
>i binge and become obese by 11
>put on an adkims bullshit diet briefly and then takwn off it
>im allowed to eat wwhateveri want in highschool
>not as fat as i was in primary school
>stay the same weight since i stop growing (size 18/16)
>at 17 cunt mum convinces me bread made me fat and i can lose it by eating paleo
>lose weight but taken off of it because mum doesnt like how fast im losing the weight
>diagnosed with overactive thyroid
>it becomes underactive
>get deepressed
>mum encourages me to drink alcohol
>binge eat while drinking loads of alcohol
>become more obese than ever in my life (size 24 aus)
>beleive for ages paleo can fix me
>lose weight and gain even more back over and over again because i kept coming off it because i was having psychotic problems
>realise later on at one point during my psychosis i lost lots of weight just eating less without being on a special diet
>fast on and off for 8 weeks to learn to control my hunger
>can now eat normal for the most part
>aim to eat between 1300 to 1700 calories
>doesnt seem hard because im not doing retarded extreme dieting and learned to control myself
>lose weight
>mum doesnt beleive ill be able to fix my health issues by eating moderatly and beleives bread is evil and uses it as an excuse to not controle herself and completely destroy her life
>insists im fat for a special reason and the doctors just couldnt track that i must of had a thyroid disorder since o was 7

>complete dissonance of her terrible parenting.
>when she causes fuckups she just calls it "bad luck"
>to her actions dont matter, its all fate working against us
>anything to not improve

no one cares, faggot.

Fuuug u fag

nice blog feggit

Ur a homo

at least your parents cared enough about you to put you on diets

my family just let be balloon up to 350lbs by age 18 cause they didn't give a shit

i wish my parents had put me on a diet or cared enough

Nonono fuck you, gluten free, adkins and paleo are not portion or calorie restrictive diets

Adults ruined my life, YOU RUINED YOURS ON YOUR FUCKING OWN WILL

FUCK you and die you morbid peice of fucking shit.

Die lard ass, you got fat on your own.
I was forced to develop a binging disorder from nonrestrictive dieting

FUCK YOU FAT FUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT ITS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT DIE DIE DIE

>be me
>raped by dad at age 6
>fat for the entire rest of my life up to age 23
>currently restricting with "retarded extreme dieting"
>it's not that i actually think it's a good idea, it's a psychological blockage
>the problem is that i really really hate my body really a lot and irrationally perceive it as the cause not only of my own suffering but of all the world's ills and i believe i don't deserve food
>it's this same belief that caused me to eat so much to begin with: in my eyes, there was no point in trying to be healthy or have self control because i was already a horrible murderous monster with no soul and the most i could aim for was to embrace my spiritual hideousness and just be the biggest seething pile of sin and garbage i could be
>the reason i hate my body so much in the first place, and always have even when i wasn't fat, is because of what he did to me, he ruined it, now i'm forever fundamentally unclean and subhuman thanks to him
>whatever, i don't care if it's "retarded" to constantly aim for as low as i can possibly go with calories without binging and usually eat a maximum of 1,000 cals a day, the fact of the matter is it's working really well
>i'm going to make it out of this
>i'll show him
>he'll get his
>my promise to myself is that no matter how long it takes, one day i'll be not only no longer fat, but so skinny it kills me, and maybe then he'll finally be sorry for what he did
>maybe then i'll finally feel small enough to be pure again
>maybe if i can become as small as a child again i can turn back time and become innocent again too
>i won't have to habitually tear my skin out anymore because there won't be any sick feeling underneath to purge away
>i'll erase the permanent stain he left on me if it's the last thing i do
>and it fucking will be
:'^)

cause not only of my own suffering but of all the world's ills

Seems you have unresolved psychosis of beleiving you are god.

I delt with that because im verry sensitive and when something not that traumatic happened to me i went full retard and got full anxiety until i got burnout and thought i was god and that i could do everything and that i was evil or that god hated me.
Went to a ward 3 times as well.

All this silly stuff, and being able to fix my mental problems over internet sexual coersion in my 20s caused anxiety.

I still think crazy stuff at night time.