FPH - OC Edition

Christ Almighty, it must be like drinking a cup of treacle.

I guess not. Doesn't bother me much though.

...

The surest sign of newfaggotry is calling someone out for being a newfag.

>been here long enough to distinguish long term users and new entrants from post format and diction
>is a newfag
Sure thing, whatever helps you sleep at night newfag. I know youre going to say you don't care, but you should because lurking for a long time before posting is what kept the ethos of original Veeky Forums alive.

>I know youre going to say you don't care

because I don't, don't really know why I browse Veeky Forums (or any board other than maybe /pol/ or /v/ anymore. I just felt like like pointing out the irrelevance of your comment. At this point, who cares who comes here anymore? I sure as fuck don't.

Jesus christ fuck off

10/10

Posting that image is hypocritical.

How so? Not particularly monitoring.

If you're vehemently against one of the core tenets of the original Veeky Forums then I think you seriously have to reevaluate why you come here. I mean trolling anonymously for teh luls must be entertaining to you, but its objectively less constructive than engaging in genuine discorse. The sooner you learn this the better things will be for everyone.

Gb2r

Ignore that, I kinda DO care, mostly. I have a re**it account, probsbly most people here do. But as to actually go on there normally and browse it, no. I go there just for a couple of subs, because they're the only that prety much exists.

Its at the point that when you order tea at a fastfood place you have to be very specific now. Tea isn't good enough. 5 times out of 10 ordering tea means you'll end up with sweet tea. Unsweetened regular tea is how I now order tea because of this.

Fatties are even ruining tea and the english language. I'd guess tea is rarely ordered.

>5 times out of 10

why not just say 'half the time' you tard

And unlike that other user, I don't live in the South. This whole sweet tea thing has spread nationwide in the past 10 years thanks to McDonalds.

2 out of 2 times you're a dick.

>simplifying fractions
Woah get a load of this smart guy, looks like we got a Rick and Morty fan here.

Am I the only one who isn't missing a chromosome on this ficking board? I thought simplifying fractions was thw norm.

>dead lion getting eaten by flies
Who thought that'd make a good logo?

Sure thing mister brain gains

>this image
cringe

Hey Anons just want to say thanks for keeping /FPH/ going I recently let myself going from skelly to proper Veeky Forums to skinny fat again because of some self-loathing issues and these threads remind me as much as I hate myself for what I've done in the past, I truly hate fat people more and it oddly motivates me to go back to the gym and sort myself out again anything else atm and I honestly can't thank you all enough for it
>Pic semi related best I could contribute to the thread

I laughed more than I should've at that.

OC coming thru.

CHALLENGE: pass these two fatties on a narrow sidewalk in the most alpha way possible.

>left side is a barrier that protects against a 60+ foot drop to rocky outcropping
>right side is a steel nylon threaded fence impossible to squeeze thru, that protects against a 45 mph tram
>you are carrying a 45 pound travelers bag across your shoulder

Be honest Veeky Forums, what do you do?

push past forcefully without saying excuse me

...

>you cannot be a female and single

I used to avoid fph because I weigh over 300lbs
This made me regret that
Of all the times I've thought about what a disgusting slob I am, this is probably the only time I've ever actually enjoyed it
Will continue lurking in hopes of more strangely entertaining evidence of my own inadequacy as a human being

No, you were right to avoid us and should continue doing so.

Not for the sake of your own sensibilities.

Rather, we simply don't want you here

Too bad for you
I don't want me anywhere and yet I put up with me 24/7
If I can handle being around me 24/7, you can handle 0.5/3

Just do something about it. It isn't that hard. It just takes you getting up, and sticking to it.

I know, I'm working on it now, and I am in fact losing weight so no one can even tell me I'm doing it wrong
I've still got several times as far to go as I've come, but I try not to care about that because it's unproductive, much more helpful to me to just keep going, and keep in mind how far I've come in its own right if anything
Still hate myself though, I will until I'm thin

I know what you mean. Working on losing some myself. Shitty eating habits for a while, reformed myself. Letting the reform work. lmao

Good on ya
I get what people mean now when they say they hate fatties
Most people mean they hate the ones who aren't trying to change

I still feel it includes me
But I'm okay with that now
I'm not offended anymore because I know the version of me it includes is one I'm working to put behind me
It's not me anymore
It's a big part of me, but it's not the part that's really me
It's my enemy

>>>>>>

Man this sounds like my life are you in Tennessee

See if you're overweight or obese, but you are genuinely recovering and getting it together, I have nothing against you, It's the ones that don't even fucking try, or worse, that say they're starving themselves and "Muh starvation mode" and shit, and try to push it on everyone else saying we need to accept them that I fucking despise.
If you're human enough to recover, then good on you man, I can respect that.

Christ almighty how many fedoras can you balance on your blubbernoggin

...

>very sex

>Riding my bike to work
>Stop at red light
>Two morbidly obese women pass very close in front of me
>Holding sugary drinks from Dunkin
>They smelled like vinegar (???)
>Feel very bad for them

Story of Samson, "Out of the strong, something sweet. Out of the eater something to eat" theyre bees actually and there's honeycomb in the lion carcass

>squat-jump onto the barrier
>do lunge backflip double barbell curls as I walk by
>deadlift the bridge up to my feet
>flex a 'cep and moonwalk away

Your mom is a genuine discorse

>approach them on my bike
I know you didn't mention a bike but I'm always riding it.
>say 'on your left'
>they jump to the left like fucking retards
>hit them
Probably how it would go down.

>vinegar smell

Yeah that's a sign of badly out of control diabetes. Like that only shows up when you get to the amputation stage.

lol fuck off racist

I would really like to have committed some minor crime and find myself in front of the judge in pic related, I would make all of my testimony fat jokes until she got angry enough that she died from a heart attack on the bench
>You see your honor the air was THICK with tension
>weigh my words carefully now,
>there would be some HEAVY consequences
>like a fat woman at a buffet I just wanted more and more
>the sound of the police sirens was like the dying whirr of a walmart scooter battery slowly dying

What a supremely retarded post made by a clearly supremely retarded boy.

*unsheathes light sabre*

I Am One With the Force and the Force Is With Me

Watchu say punk?

>the SWAT officer drove his shoulder into the door. It splintered like a judge's bench having a 500 pound sack of chicken nuggets dropped on it

A thing I have drawn for FPH.

The boy on the right is a detestable kind of lardbeast called a "gainer." They enter sexual relationships with suitably fat-fetishizing victims called "feeders," and use the promise of sex as leverage to drain them of every cent they earn and put it all toward gaining more weight.

The boy on the left is the unfortunate "feeder." A helpless slave to the sensual allure of the disgusting and morally toxic "gainer," he has neglected his most basic needs to over-provide for his smelly obese psychopath of a bottom bitch for a whole year now. He is quite close to death.

: ^ )

>Mfw there are people who genuinely think if conflict continues to escalate that the group who hate guns and which are comprized of numales and obese feminists are going to be able to beat an army of paranoid innawoods types who spend all their time reading survival and SAS explosives guides while preparing for what they perceive to be an inevitable war with the NWO who will be standing alongside Cletus with his 18 assault rifles.

FPH stands for fat people hate, not fat people horniness
Also seek voluntary hospitalization

>a sugar or two

Who hurt you?
What fat slob reverse-raped you when you were little?
Get help. And stay safe, don't starve yourself just for a fucking warped fetish okay?

...

wordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords

This meme makes no sense. In this scene the two men shot weren’t Nazis they were Czech men conscripted into the german army. They were saying (in Czech) “don’t shoot we aren’t german we’re czech” to which the Americans reply by shooting them because they’re retarded ass Americans. So Hillary would be the bad guy in this meme. Get your shit together America.

Oh well, they would have just been commies in the future.

The whole "be me" intro for a story has been a thing since before you knew what a chan was.

some wash their hair in vinegar

>Shollenberger money grabber
Come the fuck on.
Is this satire?

>>Have a shit mom and don't know my dad, so I end up in custody of my grandparents
It would have been quicker to just say "I'm black" and move on with the story, OP.

>What the fuck is up with this newfag shit lately?
>lately
Lurk moar, newfag. The "be me" cancer has been around for years.

>Do people even get told to lurk moar anymore?
One just did.

Neat

>Be me a couple of days ago
>Birthday coming up
>Parents know I'm trying to quit alcohol
>Had problems and it also kills gains
>Fast forward to today
>Fatmom got me nothing but alcohol
Is she doing this on purpose?

...

And tell me, why is your American media so quick to point out the LV shooter is white. Like it’s almost synonymously used when describing him... yet you’re not allowed to say if they’re black or Arab etc. You American are utterly fucked, thanks for everything, can’t wait for the Chinese to take over the world.

Useless cunts.

The one on the right is closer to death my man

God bless your ironic use of smileys friend ; ^3

Just don't drink it fgt

>Be me a couple of days ago
Are you not you anymore? Fucking starting greentext with >be me always makes me skip it cause it's a very newfag thing

Sorry m8, we're the last global empire, after us is the era of globalism (which we will head of course)

I should also add that she's pissed because I didn't want to celebrate with cake.

I'll give it away asap, but it's still a shitty thing to do.

I just realised I missed the part where they asked what I wish for and I specifically said not alcohol, that's why there was a time skip.

bugman image

>assault rifle
>implying

...

Trying this hard to fit in.
Go back to where you belong redditfag.

Have you ever tried mcdonalds sweet tea?
It's horrible, I tried it once because my mom gets them all the time and it's literally just 50% water and 50% sugar
I fucking dry-heaved

h-heh recent homo's am i right?

wtf is that thing

is it true she died?

i'll let you in on a secret: you will continue to hate yourself after you have gotten thin

>tfw no good pint of Bugman's for manlet gains

*Rick enters*
>wobalubbada stupid faggots, god isn't real!
*Iron man walks in*
>mmmh i beg to differ
*millenial audience cheers*
*Johnny Depp enters on his boat*
>Woooah it looks like everyone here is an alchoolic fuck, let's take this rhum bottles and shove them up our asses
*Sherlock walks slowly towards them*
>this is illogical. Can someone with a decent iq PLEASE fuck me in the ass right now?
>leave his sweet english ass to me
*Chandler walks in naked, revealing a 12 inches fully erect horsecock*
>mmh maybe you forgot something?According to my calculus i can take two dicks in my ass without interfering with my mind capacity
*it's Sheldon. The audience is clapping furiously*
*iron man puts his helmet on*
>shall we begin?
>BAZONGA
>WABBA*burp*LAB
>yes, before your slow mind bore me to death
>yarrr arh
>call me Chandler horsecock lmao

youtube.com/watch?v=UmfX4qHm76o

It looks like a cross of David Tenant and a pregnant female dog, Christ

Ahh, you tried. Here's a (you).