Co-workers are talking about fitness

>Don't want to get big
I hate this.

The other day I was trying to do my stretches like I always do before cardio and the gym was super packed, I had to move some dumbbells from the floor to make space

>Mfw when I accidentally picked one up

>lol dude chicken breast and broccoli
>PROTEIN BABY!!!
>gotta do a shit ton of bench press
>I just dont have time to got to the gym
>hypertrophy?
>neck training?

But seriously how much bench press can people do? This one guy is running a routine where he does regular barbell bench 3×8 then does the same thing with db bench right after that.

I know a guy who has said i don't have any gains and I obviously know nothing about fitness because i only have a 100kg bench, 155kg squat and 200kg deadlift

He has a 120kg bench, 100kg squat and 120kg deadlift and he weighs 120kg himself

That's not that weird, I've seen a lot of people do that. Mainly people who do bro splits but db bench oress is pretty good for muscle growth and hypertrophy but not so much for strenght

Sounds like a fat faggit...i hate when fat people that weight like 120-130kg and lift 100-110 bench think they are fucking strong...it's pretty rediculous if u ask me -_-

What's wrong with counting the macros of fast food?

Are you a manlet

>i don't have any gains
>100kg bench

this adds up, sorry pal

>hating on db bench after barbell bench

>be me like 2 years ago working at retail store
>coworker is a skelly
>tells me how he's been drinking so many protein shakes but he's not getting any bigger
>ask him what his training routine is
>oh I don't workout
Mfw

>tfw all the people I actually work with are make
>tfw redneck country
>tfw none of them really have an opinion on fitness because they're fully absorbed in things like hunting, camping, family, renovating their homes, working on trucks, etc.
>tfw humble af coworkers have helped me progress as a man
>tfw work ethic has gotten soooooo much better from working with these guys
I'm gonna hate moving on someday because I know this kind of atmosphere isn't everywhere. The camaraderie has made me a better person.
yeah, off topic. fuck it. I'm getting a little emotional here.

>Bought a pair of those Romaloes to do shit like curls.
hahahaha

I forgot to add he does incline and decline for both too

Where you make your living, friend? Sounds like Tennessee, though to be fair, that genial atmosphere is pretty ubiquitous in the South as a whole.

western Kentucky, so pretty much Tennessee with a few more horsies.

No lie. Lived in Clarksville a while, so I was right on the border myself.

How is this wrong?

never go to far when you talk fitness with friend and family.... from personal experience people don't really understand squat plug

Lmao you gotta make it to show them my man.

Just kidding lift for yourself,no meme.

>workers guess weights
>guess me at 170
>I'm 185

What's so bad about this?

>Co-workers complain that their boyfriends/husbands aren't fit
>They're out of shape themselves

Do you know how much a ton is? Jesus

>lost 70lbs last year
>suddenly everyone wants to ask for fitness advice
I just diet and lift.
>one co-worker confides in me that they are prediabetic and needs help asp
>decide to be good guy and help them
>describe diet
"Oh, I don't know if I could really give up..."
>describe routine
"Yeah, but I don't really want to..."
>describe horror stories from the /FPH/ threads
"Wow, I guess that's good motivation, user, but you see, the thing is..."
>...
>be now and still steadily losing weight
>nobody talks to me now because I won't tell them shit about fitness

Everybody wants to get big but nobody wants to lift no heavy ass weights.

Why you being such a stingy asshole, bro? Just share the one weird trick so other people can be happy with no effort, too.

with a female, this every fucking time

>coworkers talking about lifting
>older guy says he can't bench any more because it gives him irregular heart beats
>like every old man in the world, he could bench 350 when he was young
>says he used to do "quarter squats with 600lbs"
>he knows I lift and tells me I shouldn't do squats anyway since they're bad for the knees
>better not deadlift either
>scrawny Asian twink chimes in that he used to do "powerlifting" and drank "mass gainer"
>says his bench got to 175lbs but he never gained weight despite eating "7,000 calories a day"
>twink begins telling old man about breathing techniques he learned from his powerlifting buddy
>"gotta breathe in on the way down and breathe out on the way up"
>claims you will potentially die from holding your breath
>old man agrees, says his arteries almost exploded once
>other coworker starts talking about how he doesn't like looking bulky and how he blows up from lifting weights and taking creatine
>creatine made him gain 30lbs in two weeks and his wife didn't like his muscles
>he's dyel as fuck
>my jimmies are rustled so fucking hard the entire time

Should have told everyone to start cycling dbol 2grams

Do you work at a mental institute?

>coworkers as me about how to build muscle
>tell them it's about eating a lot, making sure you're getting enough protein, working out consistently, and getting sleep
>says she does eat a lot and gets tons of protein (even though she's so thin I could close my hand around her bicep and touch fingertips) but she doesn't sleep well
>asks me what kind of workouts to do
>tell her progressive overload, she should be trying to lift heavier every single workout
>oh but she doesn't want to lift too heavy, she just has some 20 pounders at home
If you're not going to listen to what I say then don't ask me.

You nailed it, user. I feel like this is what’s really going through the head of normalfags when they ask about fitness.

>she
Women only want to hear things that don't require effort. Why do you think weight loss pills is so damn appealing to them?

>am only person in my office who lifts, am pretty visibly ripped and get comments on it at work sometimes
>female coworker who eats candy and other junk food all day but is skinny and occasionally hikes tries to correct me about squats/diet

This is objectively good advice

>decent protein
>tons of energy
>good for bulking AND cutting
>delicious

If you don't like pasta fuck you

Nomalfags might inquire about something but they truly don't care, especially if you're an acquaintance, since all they want to do is some small talk. Autists can misinterpret the intention and go on unnecessarily long explanations of the topic. I believe the sudden prospect of potential change frightens the normalfag and causes it to make excuses for every suggestion. To give the normalfag the illusion that it sincerely cares, the best course of action is just to provide tips and leave it at that.

>scrawny coworker with diabetes and the worst posture you've ever seen
>despite diabetes eats candy and sugary sips and never drinks water
>apparently stays up all night playing video games
>doesn't work out
>shows me his skinny arm, ridiculously vascular arm
>"I mean look at me dude, I don't need to work out, life keeps me in great shape"

>'do you work out?'
>'no'
>'you look like you work out'
close one

>>claims you will potentially die from holding your breath
>benching
>hold your breath till you pass out
>drop bar on your neck
>die
he's trying to save you user

>body built by donuts!

>im eating fiber one bars now

>i "ran" a 5k this weekend

>i had a muffin instead of a donut today

>soda is bad for you i only drink juice

>i make sure to always have a big breakfast for energy

>ill take my coffee with 3 sugars

>i never eat past 9 because it slows your metabolism down

>>i never eat past 9 because it slows your metabolism down

>>im eating fiber one bars now

>>i "ran" a 5k this weekend

>>soda is bad for you i only drink juice

>>i make sure to always have a big breakfast for energy

>>i never eat past 9 because it slows your metabolism down

LITERALLY notihing wrong with these bubbles

>skinner climbing out of a window
>supposed to look like hes getting shot and launced backwards just because theres a blur

shit meme

its supposed to look like hes jumping out the window retard

I have been in my office for 2 years. I have heard all of these

Cont.

>i eat all the time but never gain weight

> i always exercise but i never lose weight

>i did 100 squats this morning! (Bw)

>i do zumba every saturday

>its ok to reward yourself

>i can never find time for the gym

>i eat only organic food

>i eat greek yogurt with the fruit topping

>im gonna start my diet next monday

>meal prepping is tough

>eating clean is so expensive

>bait/10

Holy shit this. I was one of those skinny fucks that thought he could eat the world, and guess what? I ate and I lifted and I gained forty pounds YOU DONT EAT AS MUCH AS YOU THINK

I eat 3k calories and cant gain weight. explain?

>inb4 not counting right

not true. i have started double checking everything.

You sound like a buddy of mine always claimed he ate more than me but couldnt gain way. Told him that it was physically impossible. He tried to tell me an egg sandwich he had was 950 calories. He made it himself i literally had to break it down for him and told him he just ate 325 calories.

"What? I just thought it was alot because i was full."

He said he was eating 4000calories a day. Turns out it was closer to 1800

B8 m8

Youre either not counting right or your tdee is around that much with your additional energy expenditure at the gym.

Try for 3500 calories and see if that changes.

You are not exempt from the laws of thermodynamics.

This should be in the sticky. If you're cutting you're probably still eating too much and if you're bulking you're probably not eating enough.

>cutting
>pasta

Choose one

Are you genuinely retarded?

...

Yesterday ripped skinny runner/swimmer coworker
>are you on something?
Wat
>I mean, are you on steroids?
Wtf no. Just liftin
>You too big. Your face has changed.
I'm bulking till may.
>So you want to get bigger? For what?
BTFO faggot

Eat more you fucking nigger.

>womyn coworkers
>talking about the latest shitty meme diet they're currently on

Then eat more.

>mailman starts talking about steroids

Worms or bad thyroids

>law school classmates confused as to how I find time for the gym
>all of them want me to teach them how to lift, none want to put in the time
>go through and show different classmates who tag along
>girl complained about DOMs and never came back
>lesbian girl comes and only does tredmil
>jew refused to squat and went back to the rock wall
>islander who used to work rigs lifts with me but refuses to give any input on routine and makes it up to me, the dude was at 2pl8 bench and 3pl8 DL on day one
>punk friend ego lifts every time we go together and injures himself too much to be a consistent work out buddy
>tiny DYEL undergrads come up to me to ask for advice because they are scared of the larger bros and they overhear me explaining biomechanics of lifting to my workout partners

I don't lift as heavy as I wish I did, and I don't look like I lift, but after losing weight and always being at the gym classmates and people at the gym know not to spew bullshit or I correct them like an autist. At this point they say stupid shit just to set me off. I wish it was like back at my old job when no one asked about it or gave a shit.

>co workers say they train but they don't do cardio

>be only young guy in the office also lift
>keep implying to young female coworkers that they should eat healthy and stop drinking
>some listen but mostly feel as if I insulted them
>they all try to eat healthy afterwards and lose weight

I like pasta but I'm sick of it now.

Bro.....Plz stop

>bro I just signed up for the tough mudder obstacle run
>bro I'm doing the spartan race this weekend
>dude I do "X meme" obstacle race every year
>mile time? Idk dude it's all about trying your best and finishing! It's not a contest!
Whenever I see one of these skinny fat numales with an "I finished" tshirt I immediately lose any respect for them I may have had.

they have been conditioned by western life to expect everything to be given to them on a silver plate because of you betas constantly trying to get laid by being the 'nice guy'

God damn that head is horribly out of proportion.

Its not all about mile time when you have to help haul your entire team over the obstacles you autistic fucking retard.

>mile time? Idk dude it's all about trying your best and finishing! It's not a contest!

I'll give them that one. In the case of obstacle courses, they're fun. No reason to get so serious they lose the fun.
In the case of running in general, I run for the mental benefits more than anything. Keeps your head clear and body feeling good. My time naturally gotten better with time, as I stopped needing rests and learned that pushing harder leads to more runner's highs.

Either you're a being from a galaxy unknown that concerts chemical energy into waves of magic, or you have a big tapeworm. Or you know, you need to eat more.

This actually makes me want to punch through a wall

eat more and get a mass gainer

You literally can't eat 3k calories and not gain any weight you inbred retard
Unless you run marathons every day which I highly doubt

>lose 40lbs
>fat coworker asks for diet advice
>just eat less
>next day all the other fatties and her are give me the evil eye
Why even ask then?

>female cousin comes to me for advice
>expecting “don’t want to get too big”
>user I want to get huge
>also be shredded
>I wanna squat two pl8s

I never thought I’d ever see a girl say this shit. Makes me proud that I share some kind of blood with her

They're hoping you found the "one weird trick" that actually worked, which of course they never do.

you don't retain fat. you can gain muscle, just slowly

t. skelly ectomorph in rehab

You're a mong or a manlet.

My tdee is 3100 kcal

My maintenance is 3.4k. 210 pounds and been lifting for 10 years now.

Solid.

retard

I'm jealous
>see aunt on way home from gym
>tired and sore from deadlifts
>"you should stop that, you're only hurting yourself"
>say no pain no gain
>"that's what they said in the 80s and they didn't really look that good
>mfw
>uncle did vegetarian diet + cardio and wondered why he had no muscle mass
>cousin is studying to be nutritionist and activates her own almonds
>still not sure if it's worse than my fatass family

3.4k 6'8 maintenance calories. You have no idea what you're talking about.

You'd think this is common sense. Im so glad most of you low IQ niggers will never procreate, how that guy finished high school is beyond me

If true you might have worms bro

gotta love this logic
>i have no association with these numbers whatsoever but i'll say 4000 because that's in line with my made up problem

reply with:
>you already are

>getting up out of my armchair after leg day