that guy that wears full plate armor to the gym
That guy that wears full plate armor to the gym
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tfw no armor to enter knightmode
that guy that counts his gauntlets when he mentions how much he benches
Its always a frenchmen too lel
tfw fell for the starting squire meme
that squire whom does sword pulls in the smithery
the executioner keeps hitting the wagon tire with the war hammer while staring at me
guys i think i'm gonna die
Tfw the gym trebuchet is down for maintainence
Tfw the Giant came by and put all the squires back in the pit.
that guy who pokes others' asses while they're stretching
My worst fear.
nobles parked their horses in the squat racks again
If I may, I implore thee to remove this comment from my presence immediately
Collecting gains tax from the gains peasants, so steep they will barely every get out of DYEL mode
Gains peasants using manlets to pull their plows to till their small protein fields, they aren't pleased but they're too DYEL to fight
Take almost all of their gains and bring them to the steps of the king
By the time I get up the stairs almost all of the gains are dead
Realize I went to fast and accidentally did cardio
King tears me in half
gym butler has come down with typhus
too sick to escort me to gym
have to put weights on barbell myself like some common peasant
mfw I catch other gym Dukes looking at me with disgust
gym is closed for the week because of an outbreak of the black plague
squire has come down with it
no one left to put my armor on
no one left to put weights on my barbell
Am I expected to lift like a peasant? This is intolerable. The gains pope better do something about this, I havent paid for those gains absolutions for nothing.
Gentlemen, how does one attain the physique necessary to fit this harness?
is there anyone on earth with better form than this dude?
travel to gymnasium where I train
gymnasium choir making unpleasant sounds
Any other dukes consider executing some of these god awful choirboys?
Starting Squire + GOHWAD (gallon of holy water a day)
Don't forget to pray daily for maximum spiritual gains
You will never satisfy that codpiece without an 8x6, stout yeoman.
An it please thee, remove this calamity
thou nobleman who jesters a loincloth about the metal house.
Perish the thought.
the bowpull apparatus is with fault
verily, wherefore continue i to live?
tfw cast into the chasm of squat sires
someone post the webm of the guy doing lat pulldowns in full plate please
Tfw your gym is mostly Saracens.
Anyone wanna help to crusade my gym? They are starting to force me to pay Jizya.
There they are
Fucking goddamn knights
So loud and they take up so much fucking space
Oh shit, here it comes
Just once could they not-
Jesus Christ every single goddamn time they finish a set
The dwarves think giants are real
Keck, next you'll tell me you're just a short regular person.
Be me, a simple but hardworking squire
village idiot has parked his donkey in the squat rack next to mine again
pay him no mind, I am here to mind my own hoisting
he keeps grunting as loud as he can while doing donkey kickbacks
in his defense, the donkey looks pretty heavy
proceeds to load the donkey on his back
surely he isnt gonna try to squat an entire donkey?
he looks me in the eye and gives me a wink
he screams "tis just a peanut!"
descends, the donkey looks confused
the gym maidens have gathered around him and start laughing at his foolishness, as he reaches the bottom of his descent his back cracks and he falls down, the donkey still sitting comfortably on his back.
fucking jesters, when will they learn?
How do I get knights to stop asking me about crusading for Jerusalum?
I fucking love you guys
tfw gym priests keep trying to convert me to christianity. fuck off with your meekness cult, let me lift in peace
thy feel when too poor for arranged marriage
'tisn't fair, maidens care not about gains, only land
maidens care not about gains, only land
Cease letting the little men dig tunnel as I, the pit guardian, must fill them up again
Is under armour really the best brand for compression gear underneath your armour?
schedule date with qt3.14 winch
the day arrives
dawn full plate armor
bless thy gains with holy water
say my payers, bless st. piano
proceed on my crusade to slay pussy like dragon
meet qt at bus stop
gives me the look and I already know I've conquered her vagina like Jerusalem
Doing mew for three months now
at the gym doing above head hoisting exercises
a sea raider come to me and says
that's a nice head you have on those shoulders.
What did he mean by that? Is my face gains coming around?
Lads is anyone here excited for Knightfall?
History channel drama like vikings but deus vult
he just wants to drink from your cock
but those are bohemian knights, look at em!
yeah that guy is pathetic
that guy who sharpens his sword between sets
Rate my routine pls. Trying to develop some good man at arms fitness
3x30 crossbow reloads
1x5 ballista turns
3x1 boiling and carrying oil
1xF trumpet blows
5x10 halberd squats
3x10 Greatsword swings
5x1 receiving knight charges
3x12 swimming the moat
catched the plague on dayeth yonder
welp, there goeth me gains
and me life
thou dost implicate
Expel yourself back to thine reddit from which you came, plebian!
he's wearing full plate
it's not the Giant Set
Sir CHADLER is courting princess STACILIA and eating LAMB while THOU is TRAINING in the STABLE
great painting choice desu
court jester keeps curling on the jousting horse
tfw no concubine
the dark souls of lifting
truly the dark souls of comparisons
Will praising the sun increase my gains?
my visage when a knave who claims to have bested me on the field of battle was totally using black powder.
mfw he still claims to be natty
my visage when I catch the court wizard using magic to cheat his lifts
mvw he claims to be making gains just by looking at the weights
Gotta get that vitamin D
doing my holy cross bar set
local muslim enterth the holy premises
starts getting gains
at end of the ninth bell he uses local gym mat for prayer
his gains are given to allah
How do i giveth thy lord more gains to beat back these hordes?
Start by having your gym priest bless your weights with holy water before each set. Only by lifting the holy weight can you increase the lord's gains.
I feel the same way about all my brethren gathered in this Chinese silk weaving tavern.
my visage when I must travel the Silk Road in order to train with my eastern brethren to learn of new discussions in the Chinese Silk Weaving Tavern
mvw all that travelling keeps plaguing my gains
Will I ever make it brothers?
that earl whom adorns himself in all manner of cloth yet cannot even raise one cart of grain
mvw novice necromancers keep trying to lift the dead
mvw they can only summon skeletonlets
When will they level up?
be myself, patrician of good breeding
hoisting dead weights off the earth
apply drying cream, a gift from the castle alchemist, to my palms
approached by a stablehand
he's but a lowly knave, barely capable of hoisting his own weight!
must ask the quartermaster why he allows the rats of of the dungeon
is it any good?
it is adequate
does the master not want to use gloves?
I lay my gaze fully upon him
he scurries off
the horrible state of this kingdom
The wizard keeps shrinking all the dumbells for the manlets
It's is said that man was made to be in God's image. By strengthening your physique and assisting in the gains of your gym comrades, you do the same for our Lord
Guys, is starting wizardry a meme routine?
Guys I believe Sir Jeff is the best knight in the land
that guy whom must be hoisted upon thine mount
I request that we ban wizards from the gym my lord, for they do not pursue the blessed path of gains and instead walk the heretical path of cardio.
Exile thyself Jeff.
Be told im to small to go liberate Holy Land
but through God all things are possible my lord
Does thou even lift kin?
Art thou speaking of Sir Jeffrey Cavalryman?
harlots flaunting their ankles as to sabotage thy hoists
TIS AN INJUSTICE
when will knightlets expand their intellect?
all these knightlets not converting to the chaos god of /fraud/ and becoming chosen champions
sacrificing immortal natty spirit for temporary mortal gains
Sir Jeffrey Cavalryman, and his lowly squire Jessetinian.
tournament champion accused of using potions
inquire about said potions with local alchemist
costly beyond my earthly wealth
hoisting and eggs, then
30 measly swings
tfw priest is out dealing with the plague and can't do preacher curls
How doest thou maketh gains in such a situation brethren?