Colon cleanse

Hey Veeky Forums I need to drop at least 15 pounds within the week. I was thinking of getting some shit from GNC to cleanse my colon (basically shit my guts out for a couple hours). I have some questions for anyone that has tried this
>how much weight can I realistically expect to be trapped in my colon?
>how long does that weight stay off?
>does losing weight this way make your waistline tighter?

You're not going to lose 15 pounds. Your waist will feel tighter, but no one will notice any difference. Your colon is self "cleaning", unless you are constipated you are wasting your time and money. As soon as you start eating it will return to normal. Cutting out bloating foods would be a more long term way to make you waist a tiny bit tighter.

Just load up on caffeine, it'll do the job. Colon cleanse is a meme

Not possible. 15lbs body fat is like 55000 kcal.

you sound like those 40 year old soccer moms I work with that drink cucumber water

>implying implications
I am about to ship out to the navy, and I am 15 pounds overweight. I need a quick fix to get me through the door.

what happens if you only lose 5 pounds?

hooray for fucking up your gut bacteria

try eating less, faggot

The boat sinks

...

eat half a bag of sugar free gummi bears.

you dumb niggers OP needs to lose 15 lbs of mass for a weigh in not 15lbs of fat.

your best bet is diuretics, laxatives, limited water consumption. my weight is usually +- 5 lbs depending on how much i've eaten or shat out.

MEPS tells me to kick rocks. Unless my waist is still within regs, which if I lose even one inch I will be good. I am just over the line, I need that little push.

Do this OP, nothing says dedication better than depleting all of your potassium and ending up in the hospital.

So why were you accepted if your overweight?

Fucking hell I get rejected from the ADF fucking 5 times but a fat burger gets into the Navy.

Lol, just drink some pedialite after weighing in. it's like you didn't even wrestle bro.

Why did they reject you five times. Is it for being fat, or some other deficiency?

Well unless you can find some back-alley liposuction clinic and have thousands of dollars in cash to pay them, you're not going to lose 15 pounds in a week, you dumb fatass. Say "goodbye, Navy" and "hello, Jiffylube", THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW.

This. It has been been scientifically proven to convert all bodily waste in to gas.

Surprisingly no fast-fags have entered this thread yet.
Boyo, brew yourself a snake potion and buckle the fuck up.
You are not going to eat for a week.

not op but keep talking, cant be arsed lurking the general but this meme concoction of yours interests me

It's just a concotion of potassium and natrium and optionally cayenne to keep the lightheadedness associated with fasting at bay

oh. so just a catchy name because the usual term salt water sounds boring to newfags lmao