*grabs a bodylock around your waist*

*grabs a bodylock around your waist*
how do you defend yourself Veeky Forums?

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youtube.com/watch?v=uDhNHdhPDEA
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Grab his ass

Pop a boner and hope he's a prude about it; then run away

I'd fly and probably wake up in a wheel chair

Alexander the great

Start sucking his dick

scream like a tard

what the fuck is wrong with the skin around his nipples

put my thumbs in his eyes and blind him before I die

looks like that only made him more angry

go limp. literally thats how you defend yourself

...

Should of swam for the underhooks.

Now I die

cry for mommy

wow, what happen do that dudes chest? Obviously doesnt bench

Try to sprawl and push his head down before i become airborne

tell him it's a reverse and im supposed to be leaving with the strap ya simp

I accept my death and pray to the gods that my demise will be swift. If Karelin has you, it's over

We'd all just die. No man in history would be able to do anything in that situation

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>*grabs a bodylock around your waist*
>how do you defend yourself Veeky Forums?
youtube.com/watch?v=uDhNHdhPDEA

Teleport inside his ballsack and give him testicular cancer, annihilating his gains over time.

Against Karelin in his prime? I think you just die there.

Roid test him.

Pec strength isn't realy required in any sport.

You're dead, bro.
>in a singlet so you're competing, it's not a misunderstanding
>one of the best wrestlers of the modern age in their physical prime
>good majority of fit is dyels, powerfats

>dem fucking calves
Never noticed before, holy shit
Karelin is a god amongst men, GOAT

Nibble his ear and tell him he's cute

Karelin is one of the scariest humans to walk the earth. If you don't have an assault rifle, gl

I melt in his strong arms

>win:loss record is ~900:2
>literally created a move that can kill you in order to score points faster
>won every single tournament he ever entered in
>3 olympic gold medals
>every single wrestling organization has unanimously said he is the greatest wrestler to live
>to have ever lived, the single greatest human at greco-roman wrestling since humans have existed

the only reason he wont kill you is so that he can karelin throw you again for more points

bite his face, gouge his eyes, stomp his testicles.

this is literally why martial arts are for manga loving tards who cant into reality.

Can't bite when your jaw is smashed to mush on the pavement after he double legs you

I've heard about this guy for a long time but never looked into him.

HOLLY FUCKING SHIT, this has to be the functionally strongest human being 1K, 2K, 10K, years?!?!

The dude throws elite heavyweights around like they're nothing but fat teenage girls.

pff...not today senpai i'm GOMAD

user has a good point. If this wrestling is such the GOAT, then if when it is dominating the UFC?

no time soon.

>Telepront behind hin
>nothing personal kid
>hehe
>unleash katana
>nothing personal
>za zam!

>thinking a guy with an unironic literal Ph.D in wrestling couldnt kill you
>implying you could bite, gougue, or stomp anything after having 300kg drop directly onto your cervical spine

karelin would dominate MMA if he entered
i dont think you truly appreciate how insane this man is, he had like a 20 year undefeated run, sweeping gold in every single international wrestling tournament since he started wrestling, won 3 Olympic golds back to back, etc.

if bjj is trained because the floor game is so important, then karelin would again be undefeated, as he has the best floor game to have ever been done by any human on the planet. if you disagree, start posting people who have gone undefeated for THREE decades

That's like saying Lomachenko would dominate MMA right now because striking is so important as he's the most dominant boxer in Olympic history bar Laszlo Papp

Karelin would crush the heavyweight division in MMA, they are sorely lacking in athleticism since anyone with talent in the USA fucks off to football and no one in Europe gives two shits about MMA

I've noticed that too. An Overeem off of the roids and looking like a shadow of him prime is a top contender at HW right now. It's basically a group of 5 or 6 guys who have all lost to each other fighting each other over and over. Kind of lame.

How do I train myself to pop boners on command?

Another point is, he could do all of those to you and be more effective at it.

>thumbs in his wrists
>pop hips forward
>push his arms down, try to use hipbones to saw out and turn around
Doubt I could do it but thats my first reaction. Standup was one of two moves I ever did well with

Prime Karelin vs prime Tyson in the street

I'd pay any amount to watch

"HAVE MERCY!!"

Stare down at the 3'2 rusky grabbing my belt and have myself a hardy laugh.

Kiss him

this match is between a "small" wrestler vs a kinda big bodybuilder. Guess who won

youtube.com/watch?v=B0qyyfmvGtI

Tyson has to knock him out with one punch and fast. If Karelin grabs him, he is done for. So mostly is a chess match, the one who makie the first move wins.

greet him in russian

>this next golf match is between a professional golfer and a bodybuilder
>guess who won
See how fucking retarded it is to compare sports that aren't comparable?

or shout "stoy" over and over again.

Daniel Cormier is the Light Heavyweight champ, and GSP middleweight. Both have incredibly good wrestling. Checkmate brainlet

Gyno surgery? Just a guess.

Benching != pec strength.

And yes, pec strength is absolutely required in wrestling. You can't hold onto someone with your arms alone doofus.

You know a man is a freak of nature when his neck is wider than his head

>6'4" 280
It would be almost pointless even if he weren't a professional.

a well placed pipe bomb would prevent him from ever getting in this situation

The only reason this cunt is the GOAT is because he hadn't met his match. Beat by an American from Wyoming.

youtube.com/watch?v=vS6gQklwRJc

multiple broken ribs and surgery for it

>lost because of a rulechange right before the match
>rule was then removed

pathetic

If anyone decides to watch the match it's fucking pathetic, the fat cunt lies on his belly the entire match. Only thing that kept Karelin from winning was a rule change and the new generation of obese americans

>freak of nature
It's called steroids.

Give PEDs to any guy as big as him and if he commits his life to being the greatest wrestler, he will be.

And what did you take to become the most retarded person on Veeky Forums?

He beat Gardner in a previous match though, and that was only one of two losses he ever had

>WAH HE'S TOO HEAVY FOR ME TO PICK UP
Imagine that, finally come up against someone you can't pick off the ground and you're fucked. Have you considered how many people lost to him because he was too big for them? Table's turned - America won. Boohoo.

>WAH HE'S TOO HEAVY FOR ME TO PICK UP
A valid complaint when it comes to americans

The only thing more pathetic than hero worship is fluffing the cock of an athlete who didn't even represent your country.

Uncuck yourself, faggots.

You seem to be having difficulty accepting that he lost because he literally couldn't beat Rulon.

>because he's too heavy
>because because
No, that's not how it works. America won, the end. Better luck next time.

>humiliated so bad by America he literally quit wrestling ON THE SPOT
hahahahahahaha

USA!
USA!
USA!

Yeah he lost, I think everyone understands that. Why he lost is what we're discussing. Are you following?

The same American also lost to him, so it's stuck at a tie

>appreciating athleticism constitutes "hero worship"
Just how DYEL are you?

He lost because he came against a bigger and better opponent.

You think wrestlers can win simply by being huge and heavy? Then why weren't sumo wrestlers out there again him?

Welcome to reality son.

>Knocks hero worship
>Promotes Nationalism instead
Were you born retarded?

>a single point because of a shitty new Olympic rule
>doesn't even get properly beat
>Amerifat is literally too fat to be picked up and that is his only strength
Alright bud. Pic related is you

...

Yes user, he couldn't beat Rulon because of the icky rules :^)

>Amerifat is literally too fat to be picked up and that is his only strength
Then why don't sumo wrestlers ascend to the top of Greco Roman wrestling user?

tito ortiz literally has the same issue im wondering if doing a particular exercise causes that or NOT doing a type exercise causes that

>bodybuilding
>sport

Do you have Any idea how much of a fag you look like with that pic posted

I don't understand how you don't lose a point from being on your stomach. That's literally the worst position to be in in any other grappling sport

>release a hold for a second, lose a point
>lay on your fucking stomach, even match.

>he has to train himself to get a boner when grabbed by a handsome muscular man

never gonna make it.

By being a fat fucking american and winning on a technicality