How does one cure suicidal depression?

I live a normal life. Girlfriend. Work. Friends. Family. Apartment. All that jazz. I hide it everday, for years on end. I just want to buy some sleeping pills, a cpap mask and a helium tank and leave this place.

I’ve read and read but I cant find the answers in the books. Tried antidepressants. Tried meditation. How do I tame this deathwish?

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Your genetically predisposed to depression. Find a hobby. Also your gf should be understanding and supporting. How does she help you?

>, >43663569
Well, what's the cause of said death wish?

Every few days I remember something cringey I did, gut sinks and I feel like killing myself is acceptable for 5 minutes or so but then I snap out of it.

Is it something like that or do you constantly feel a nagging to drive into a pole?

You’re not meditating correctly if you’re still depressed and suicidal.

Well you could look at it this way, yes death would end your suffering. But you would pass it on to the ones you love.

Be a man and carry the burden. Nothing is intolerable, just keep going.

Yes. That is what I am doing. I am carrying this strange cross. I do not even know where these thoughts come from.

Make yourself as beautiful as possible. Then, do the same with everything around you.

Intranasal ketamine

>ur not praying hard enough if g-d isnt giving you that car you wnat

Anti-Depressants are shown to be most effective in populations that have their life in order, but still feel depressed.

If you have a memory more than 18 months old that you still have a negative reaction to, that's your brain telling you there's still a potential threat out there that you don't know how to deal with. When you have a memory like that, write it down, in all the detail that you can, what you did to put yourself in that situation, and what you can do if you're ever put in that situation again.
youtube.com/watch?v=kuXv5onXToY

St. John's Wort.

"A 2008 Cochrane Meta-Analysis of 29 trials (5489 patients) that were blinded and randomized in patients with major depression (DSM-IV criteria) noted that in the trials against placebo that St. John's Wort was associated with less depressive symptoms with an Odds Ratio of 1.28 (95% CI of 1.10-1.49) in larger trials and 1.87 (95% CI of 1.22 to 2.87) in the smaller trials. The studies in this meta-analysis were quite heterogeneous, lasting between 4-12 weeks but was comprised of high quality studies (assessed by Jadad; 5/5 median value); this meta-analysis restricted studies to those in Major Depression, rather than the previous Meta-Analysis looking at all depressive studies.
When St. John's Wort was compared to Tricyclic Antidepressants (TCAs) and SSRIs, the respective Odds ratio benefitting St. John's Wort were 1.02 and 1.00 respectively; suggesting that the was no practical difference between the pharmaceuticals and St. John's Wort. Additionally, dropouts associated with St. Johns wort were significantly less than both TCAs (OR of 0.24) and SSRIs (OR of 0.53) suggesting that St. John's wort has less side-effects."
>examine.com/supplements/hypericum-perforatum/

Also, just find meaning in the suffering of life. Life is what it is. No point in trying to rationalize an absurd (inb4 philosophy fags critique) existence.

inspirational, gonna try to remember this

Vitamin D and Zinc

I've had mixed results with St. John's-Wort

Have you tried therapy? If you're a chronic loner you're always going to return to depression.

a. take a trip to see some new shit
b. kill yourself

You are not ready to die. You are having a midlife crisis but you are not suicidal. Find what you love and let it kill you. Like Jiro, devote yourself everyday to something that enhances your spirituality and master it.

250mg of test a week injected in your ass. If u don't believe me look it up.

Im careful to suggest this because of the risks associated with this type of self treatment... but here goes:

Mushrooms.

I had drug and therapy resistant depression and I was crippled by it. Including shyness so bad it manifested as a red hot searing pain in my gut and stuttering.

6 grams later, taken under the supervision of a friend of a friend... and its all gone. That was 14 years ago. In one dose I destroyed my depression and came put of it a completely different person. So much so that my therapist accused me of lying to her about either my improvements, or my initial condition. Even my family thought something was up. I started exercising spontaneously, got a public facing job, no longer stuttering.

Looking out the window the morning after it was really like something had been pealed away from in front of my eyes. Colors were so vivid.

I had tapered off my therapy for the experience and I never went back on. It would be another 3 years before I'd come across mushrooms again and I didnt have a relapse that whole time.

Ive since become a true believer in this shit. I grow them and use them frequently in my own life, and offer them to people who need their healing power. I never use them or allow them to be used for "fun"

O N I O N S

magnesium 400 mg/day
zinc 30 mg/day

>How do I tame this deathwish?

Electroconvulsive Therapy

So simple, yet so meaningful. Thanks bro

ryanpatrickhalligan.org/documents/Forever_Decision.pdf

Check this out. It's a short book written for people like you, and if it interests you even a little you should give it a read.

We don't know each other, but I care, user. I hope you'll find your way onwards.

Based ECT.

>50% of Severe depression reversed
>Literally takes 5min
>No well established long term side effects

Only reason I've seen people against it is because MUH MEDIA REPRESENTATION OF ECR

you kay

I suggest you study the process.of death on animals