How do I become fit under the following conditions?

thanks for the motivation user

I assume you sleep on a bed of some sort. Remove it, and replace it with a yoga mat. You now have enough room to do yoga, sit ups, push ups, planks, squats, lunges, jumping jacks, or whatever.

Your posture probably sucks anyway and sleeping on the floor should improve that.

I have an elevated bed with a desk under it.
This thread has given me some insight into my motivation though, I'm trying to make more room for bodyweight exercises, even if i have to do them under my desk.

How the hell do I remove a queen size bed that takes up 80% of my room?

theres a book about working out in small spaces, look it up

put it on its side

>Burpees till failure x3
There you go

>live in tiny apartment
>queen size bed
lmao my room is big enough to be some people's dining room and I sleep on an extended twin
Just go buy some 2x4s and plywood and get home depot to cut it for you, nail it together and buy twin size mattress
You have room, you're just devoting it to the wrong priority

>waawaa i want to work out and get better, but i cant do ANYTHING ANYWHERE and no matter what you suggest i’m going to find an excuse as to why I JUST CAN’t
One of these threads again
Did it ever cross your mind that you won’t do jack shit in the military gym because you dont know what to do there?
And seeing you are a couch potato, the daily activities in military will surely drain all your juices anyway

Also, if you get social anxiety from going to a regular gym, imagine a military gym for a second. Filled to the brim with only extremely competetive testosterone ridden 20year old kids with bigboy complexes and all the problems they are left with from school.

>so socially akward and autistic you can't be out in public
>but joining a military
Get a 3month or 6 month subscription to a gym then. Haggle

do bodyweight. go to startbodyweight.com

>Possibly autism
definitely not possibly

...

Hand stand pushups against a wall, and body weight squats each until failure. Look at guys in prison who have to eat the cheapest non protein diet and have a tiny cell, and they still haven’t given up on physical exercise.

As someone who actually went through my country's reserves and loved it (Australia though, so if you're on fucking Nigeria expect some hazing or some shit) just look online for their fitness guide and do that. Do it at the park, put on some clothes that aren't a hoody and trackies and cardio/pushups/situps your shit out.

GL bruh, be the grey man, and get some tight groupings. You got this

What are the requirements?
How many sit-ups/push ups for example?

Aus brah here seriously considering the resevres. Hoping it will teach me some discipline, and I wanna learn skills and be in shape.

I'd love and info you can give

Hey do you know what the Aussie army is like? I'm thinking of applying in around 6 months to an officer position but I'm incredibly unfit (not obese but getting there, 80kg 180cm).

>go into walmart weights section
>lift weights
>anybody walks by just stop If you're really that autistic
>anybody working there questions you just say you're not sure how heavy you need so you're testing them
>anybody else says anything just smile and say it's cheaper than the gym

'sir you keep coming here everyday please purchase something'

'i know i keep finding a weight i like.'
>flex'cep
'But they keep getting lighter'

Fuck i really ought not to laugh out loudly during a lecture, jesus

lmao

legit tempted to do it now, just to use that line while looking smug

It’s not what it was fifteen or twenty years ago. I’d be surprised if they’re even allowed to yell anymore.

If you’re a fatty applying for an officer spot, unless you’ve got some godly quals they’ve got fitter guys lining up already.

If you’re an officer you need to lead by example, and if your troops see their boss as some fat shit who fails his fitness assessments they’ll think he’s a joke.

don't ignore me Clarke Kunt

Go in for something good. I went for rifleman, and I loved it, but if you're not gonna commit to your role you're gonna hate it, hate the people and think your mods (training after Kapooka) are aids. Don't expect very many skills from something like rifleman or cav - the only resume booster is "Australian Defence Force Reservist" and "Operating in a combat environment", going on a 4km stomp is not a resume skill nor is military shooting etc. Basically consider if you wanna be a grunt or someone who learns how to be a basic diesel mechanic on the Gov's dime.

Duntroon is effectively a university. You'll learn things like employment of machine gun fire, logistics, tactical and general strategy, etc. Depending on your entry you come out with an ACTUAL degree - or you just "graduate" Duntroon. The officer recruitment board is a psychologist, recruiter(NCO) and a commissioned officer, so actually read up everything you can on your role and have an answer for every question you can think of (how would you feel killing, how would you feel sending men to their death, what do you think you offer the army and why should they choose you etc.)

Any more questions shoot em my way.

it might not go on a resume, but learning to responsibly shoot guns sounds cool asf.
is the pay and benefits worth it?
I'm eyeing the healthcare and gov paying for uni

Any wagecuck can afford 10 dollars a month to planet fitness.
No excuses fatty

As a choc, I think the max pay you can make is $14k tax free (barring employments and field allowances etc, it gets fucky with that.) Granted, reservists are the only job in Australia that isn't taxed, so it's juicy.

Also, the only healthcare you get is if you're deployed. You don't get any additional healthcare for signing up, and I 5 or so people in my 45 person platoon at Kapooka fucked themselves up (one girl slammed spine first into a wooden pole right at the end of training, there's a reason we had 2 training deaths in one week not too long ago, they really are not safe lads.)

As a reservist you don't spend too much time shooting, literally they rush you through everything, from drill to marksmanship to dress and saluting. The only way they pay for your uni is if you put your pay from chocs straight into your student loans, unless they've added some other shit.

Talk to your recruiter at an open day at your local reserve depot. They'll tell you what you're wrong about and what you're not. It's when you go for a YOU session they try to shove your ass into a role that you're not sure you want, and that's when you need to be pretty well researched and determined (as a Veeky Forums poster I bluffed my way through the entire thing and got it, but your mileage may vary.)

Well fuck my shit up senpai that's disappointing

Eh, modules are fun (and it's 32 days total), including 3 days of sleep deprivation, weapons acclimatisation (including the knee mortar) and other shit. Honestly take it from anyone who has been in, the Army is kind of shit unless you've got top blokes around you. If you can get something from it, then get a trade or an education, otherwise reservists can be good, it massively depends on the depot and blokes there.

I will say though, I'm thinking of joining the regular army after being a reservist, so I am partially autistic wanting more after knowing all this crap.

Did you get more disciplined?
Increase in overall fitness? Speaking of; tips for the fitness test? the minimum is so piss easy, I'm assuming it's some kind of trap and they expect alot more out of you

>can't afford a gym
look and see if there is a YMCA in your area, if you don't have a job or you don't make much they will hook you up with a free/reduced membership

For a reservist, there's the PFA then the RFA. You will be expected to do a BFA when you get back to your regiment but the RFA is piss easy to do (you can look up all of these.)

And yeah, I got more disciplined. Getting screamed at at 6am to get out of bed and unfuck your bed is designed to stress you out and get it so when you're woken up out field you know exactly what you need to grab to not fuck anything up.

Just don't go to the army expecting it to fix all your problems - if you can't handle authority figures or learn under pressure, or swallow your pride, then you should give it a miss. Otherwise I think it's a great thing to build character.

I figured I'd just buy some jogging clothes and follow the assignments I found on the army webpage.
Any stuff i can't do outside i'll do in my cramped little hole.
Hearing others talk about striving for the same goals as me is a great motivation.

Damn mate, the hits just keep coming.

I'm 25, unemployed on centrelink, outta shape, somewhat lazy. Was banking on army to do something with my life and break me outta a rut.
Looks like I need to fix my own shit, cause now I'm thinking I'll wash out

That's it I'm canceling my gym membership