How can I get Veeky Forums if I'm an alcoholic?

water down vodka for the best bang for your calorie bucks
Try kratom and/or weed as a replacement

if you wanna go dad bod fratboy mode

Dirt-cheap wine is the patrician's drink and not all that caloric.

alcohol causes brain damage and increases cancer risks
but honestly everything is about moderation, you can't go through life worrying about everything. Just don't be an alcoholic, drinking very occasionally is fine

No. You feel like shit, stiff and aching during workouts in my experience.

By not drinking the liquid Jew, alcohol is the ultimate blue pill.

No. Beer is made from hops which are a potent source of phytoestrogens.

Alcohol is empty calories and pretty fucking awful for your liver besides.

You have to limit your drinking to like 1 or 2 drinks a week and no beer.

I’m not believing your lies Satan

>666 poster advocates abstinence
>Jesus turned an entire barrel of water into wine
Hmmmm

Stop being an alcoholic

Akshuslly When I used to browse /x/ the edgy demon summoning children always talked about how alcohol was favored by entities from lower planes and they would use it as offerings in their demon summoning rituals. Hey tho if you want to get fat and have an ice cold beer drink while watching the sports ball game go for it.

Am I an alcoholic if I get hammered every Friday night and it's the only time of the week I really look forward to?

Stop drinking. You'll never make it by being drunk most nights. Read below.
onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1530-0277.2001.tb02361.x/full

Alcohol impairs protein synthesis. It's a liquid gains goblin. Every once in a while in moderation is okay, but don't get blotto every night dude. If you absolutely must drink, drink clear liquor either straight or mixed with water.

No your just a Shabbos goy with no hobbies

Get sober before you wind up a non functional fatass with an IQ of 80 from all the brain damage, you fucking mong.

all that sugar is a recipe for a terrible hangover

Stop drinking

We talking MD20/20?
I like Cisco
Or thunderbird

Alcohol is a coping mechanism, and a terrible one at that. Nothing screams "I am living an empty life and I'm boring" like being an alcoholic. Take control or enjoy your wet brain and liver cirrhosis.

What are some good liquor / mixed drinks that won't be too many calories? Only thinkg I can think of is getting some stevia soda and dumping gin in it.

This boy is so wrong. Nothing like two twelvers of Coors banquet and a campfire with the boys. If you just do it once in a while and don't be a pussy it shouldn't fuck with you. Just get black out drunk and cuddle naked and soft with the lads for warmth in a few zipped up sleeping bags.

Get into mma, train all day, take fights with bigger people, get your ass sorely beaten before winning fights. Repeat for 20+ years. Pic related

>1 or 2 drinks a week
>no beer

How to die alone 101

That may qualify as "binge drinking" by some of the looser definitions.

>protein water liquor

That'd have a huge market in all the boring white people who make fitness their entire identity from the age of 20 to 24. Somebody should get on that.

Here's a question:

How do you bulk on alcohol? Eggnog ADED?

Drinking in excess damages every part of your body and mind. Worst in my opinion is it is a diuretic removing water from your body and removing boat loads of nutrients, and combined with caffine it does this while going as far as causing temporary or somtimes even permanent heart arrhythmia

Be a good ol boy and fuck fear on a daily basis

WHAT LIQUOR CAN I DRINK WHILE CUTTING

Literally me with the occasional drink during the week.

I would also like to know this.

...

I drink quality beer every night. Usually around 2-3 cans of 500ml. 23 years old.

I like being alone after the harsh day and enjoy my time while being in front of the pc and listening to some music and reading stuff on the internet.

I am going to die by 30, r-right?

t. turkroach + some slav genetics master race reporting in

Interesting that you should post this because I have this screencap from just yesterday that you may find relevant.

eat onions

I was an alcoholic who deluded myself into thinking the drink was improving me. I told myself it made me stronger, more confident, less anxious, smarter, etc... I went for runs after sobering up for a week because of being sick and I realized just how unhappy I was. Exercise is the solution for me. Cardio and sports help me keep the drink away.

Alcohol kills your test, it's a reason people drink that shit the night before a blood test to fake low test for TRT.

sounds like some meme tier motivational bullcrap to me.

Wow man I'm really proud of you. Everything you listed there is every excuse I always hear from alcoholics. When you're at that point you're always making excuses for you to do it instead of looking at the reasons why you shouldn't. You're doing the right thing. My father has been sober for over 2 years now and it's been such a joy to have him back.

top tier cringe right there

I don't see how an user telling it like it really is can be considered "meme tier." Everything he said is true, whether or not you like how it may reflect upon your own character.

you can just tell you got bullied something awful in real life so now you're posting your shit memes on here

>telling it like it is
Ok user go be the better than everyone else. I'll be content with being better than I was yesterday.

Improving yourself at all automatically makes you better than most people.

The only right answer

>Soft
Keep telling yourself that

Ok OP, let's have a chat. I was an alcoholic. We're talking close to a pint of hard liquor a day. First, get help. Second, get help please. Third, you CAN make it as an alkie. It's hard, but it's possible. My tips for being a swole drunk:

1) Never lift drunk. Ever. That's how you die. I'd lift in the morning, then start drinking.
2) count your calories. Even your drinks. Trust me, it matters. Abs are made in the kitchen, not the gym. Grey Goose (vodka in general, but goose has no carbs), Jameson, Absinthe, and Guinness (idk, it fit my macros well) are what I found to be "diet" drinks. Mixed drinks and wine will kill gains.
3) you need to work harder than everyone else. For every hour a normie lifts, you'll need to lift two. That's the price of your vice
4) get a punching bag! A heavy bag is a great way to be an angry drunk.
5) do not, I repeat DO NOT, use supplements. They do not mix with alcohol. Proton slurps are fine, but that's it. Nothing else
6) don't keep junk food around, and don't let yourself go out for it when drunk. I told all the barkeeps at the bar I frequented that I couldn't eat junk food. That no matter what I said they should only give me the chicken ceasar, and if they saw me eating junk food to kick me out.
7) motivational posters. Idk about you, but I had a poster of a samurai that just said "LIFT" on it. Not really sure if this is an alkie tip or just me

You can make, man. It's not impossible, it's just really fucking hard. I know you get this often, but stop drinking. Please. It gets better, but the good starts from within. Honestly, lifting helped me quit more than anything else. I'm here to talk if you want to

Become a FUNCTIONING ALCOHOLIC

Having 2+ standard drinks in a night lowers your test by about 33% for a couple days
Plus if you are an alcohol your liver will become kill, and can't maintain proper testosterone balance
Also you get fat and fat aromatises testosterone into estrogen
Plus your energy is sapped so you can't even gym anyway
And you will eat like shit so no matter what you've got no chance

But you might make it who knows

Thank God I'm not the only slav roach on this board . Ayyy lmao

If you drink only liquor to avoid the carbs and keep it to a max of 3-6 drinks per day you can make decent progress. But the best answer to this is to just fix your alcoholism by quitting altogether. Former alcoholic here. Life got a lot easier for me when I quit. Was drinking a 5th of 80 proof daily, or 12+ natty ice. The withdrawals were awful for about 3 days, then it got easy. Now I'm about 3 months in to total sobriety and going strong. It's really not hard to fix your addiction if you put some effort into it.

>only a pint a day
>thinks he was an alcoholic

gtfo, true alcoholism is when you can go through a 1.75 every two days.

Fuck off, frosh. Go bite a curb if you think alcoholism is a drinking contest

You stop being one

What seems to have worked for me is getting drunk at around 2pm then I can sober up by 10pm, workout and then sleep without the alcohol killing my sleep gains.

At least I hope that brosecience checks out. Should probably drink spirits but I love budweiser too much.

kek, wut? I have like 4-5 on a normal day, anywhere from 12-15 pints on a heavy one though I'll not be working out after that. I drink pretty much every other day.

The best option for Neat whiskeys or vodkass. Pretty much raw spirits, if need be watered down. Could possibly get away with adding some diet coke or the like to it to actually save your throat a bit.

bruh are you me 3 months ago? Had to switch it up though because while the sleep was fantastic, gains were being destroyed

>Alcohol impairs protein synthesis. It's a liquid gains goblin

This user gets it. It's not about empty calories you retards.
If you drink alkohol your muscles wont regenerate or grow. You will only fuck up your body everytime you work out and drink.
That's why all the serious athletes don't drink any alcohol. They are training every day. On a rest day some alcohol ist ok. But only in moderation.
But beeing an alcoholic? No way way you gonna make it brah!

this

proven not to directly cause brain damage but what people do drubk definately does

where are his glutes?