How do i hold conversations for more than a minute? how do i be someone people want to talk to?

how do i hold conversations for more than a minute? how do i be someone people want to talk to?

>tfw no friends and no social skills
>quiet and very rarely respond to people with more than a few words.. almost never more than one or two sentences (literally don't know what to say)
>not friends with any coworkers (even though i have many near my age)
>no real hobbies except lifting, nothing interesting about me
>khv and hate my life in general

>tfw work with many qt coworkers
how do i get my oneitis coworker to like me (i always see her talking to the Chads)? and how do i make friends?

pic related. tfw no avg asian gf

Other urls found in this thread:

npr.org/2017/11/29/567133944/people-like-people-who-ask-questions
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Just compromise. I have no social skills but am tall and attractive so I just play le mystery man shit and don't say much and only speak sparsely. As fedora as it sounds, it works for a lot of women.

I do this but it probably comes off as autistic cause im pretty young

I'm in the same boat as you. My life is dull, uninteresting, and just plain boring. I suck at small talk with associates & coworkers.

well, it obviously doesn't work for me

what can i actually do for social gains?

You sound pretty insecure user. If that's for some good reasons- work on yourself. If it's not- relax and ask questions.
A lot of times guys feel pressure to be super dynamic and engaging in conversation, especially with girls. While you may be noticing other guys pulling that off, you're probably seeing either their shining moments (like once a month brilliant jokes or whatever) and confirmation baising your way into believing that it's how everyone else is, or they're coming across as weird to most people around them.

It's ok to have a boring conversation, especailly as you're just starting to work on social skills. This is gonna sound retarded but you've got to convince yourself to actually give a shit about the person you're talking to. If it's the old crabby woman ask about her kids/grandkids. If it's a hot girl ask about weekend plans or shows. Just stay relaxed, keep it casual.
Work on casually engaging with people, and never decline or back out of a social interaction, and in a few years of practicing you'll notice that it comes easier and is less freaky. You'll find yourself cracking a joke that makes everyone laugh or chatting up a qt coworker with confidence and ease.

One more thing: Be nice. A lot of anons will read that and be like "WTF DON'T BE NICE PEOPLE ONLY RESPOND TO RAW CHARISMA AND BRUTALITY" and they're not wrong per se, but they're only correct so far as it gets you layed in a bar or party (a lot of Veeky Forumsizens end goal), which is pretty fucking easy once you're good looking enough and many other approaches would also work.
I'm not saying if someone says that they're having a problem or dealing with something tough you have to get involved and help, but you should respond appropriately and empathetically. "That sucks, sorry about that." is a really good statement. It sounds autistic but this is what I think would help for someone who talks about themselves like you did in your post.

>Veeky Forums - Fitness

Why does someone like you show up in every goddamn thread that's peripherally related to fitness. We have anons posting questions outside of qtddtots and their bodies for feedback outside of cbts but you don't police those guys.

Where were you been during this whole nigger invasion?

Make it about them, pretend to give a shit, throw in a couple lame one liners.

thanks
i do ask questions that i can think of.. but i still am quiet, and I'm not good at asking follow up questions

it seems others are more engaging, and can tell stories and make jokes. nothing happens to me that i can tell a story about, and i haven't made a joke in years.

Rather than worry about what you are going to say when they stop talking actually listen to what they say and respond accordingly, if you have nothing to add then ask them a question about something they said you found interesting.

Keep practicing, if you can force yourself to be interested the follow up questions will come. Otherwise just be like "what do you mean by blank"

damn she's made for bbc

Talk about topics that you are passionate about. People will be eager to listen more that way and chime in.

I usually just talk about how the Holocaust is the biggest hoax and how the Jews run the world.

Anyone here have fucked and asian girl?

>huge head
>ugly head shape
>crosseyed
really dude?

thing is most of our lives are pretty boring.

have you tried showing interest in others?
people love talking about themselves.. unless they hate themselves.. which I realize you probably do thats why you dont talk.

I doubt she's ever met a southeast german user. Don't make these assumptions.

Dating one.
Shits tight

MADE

How tight we talking here

i want to eat those sandwiches.

Ask questions, be engaged

for

BAVARIAN

BIG
BLACK
COcK
(no mods this isn't spam)

>if you have nothing to add then ask them a question about something they said you found interesting.
i typically have nothing to add

but i find it hard to ask good questions too

thanks

I'm not really passionate about anything. and i can't even talk a lot about subjects i know.
coworkers can talk about their gym routine, schedule, diet, etc. but i can't even talk about it at all when it comes up in conversation

Dress nice, get a good haircut assuming your swole.and try to improve facialaeshtetics like eyebrows, jawline and shit get plastic surgery even. .

girls are more receptive to muscular dudes when they are decent looking and take care of themselves.

avoid wearing stupid shit like tanktops, gymshorts, snapbacks, and cargo shorts its just make you look like a douche.

last of all work on getting 'confident" and develop a personality and hobby and interests.

the slayers of 2017 are LOOKSMAXXED, STYLEMAXXED, BODYMAXXED AND PERSONALITY MAXXED.

Because this is some pathetic /r9k/ tier. No one gives a shit about your social skills, no one gives a shit about your hard on for asians. I don't know how you can lift and still refer to dudes as "Chad", fucking pussy, so I assume OP has been "lifting" for all of a month at a light level. You are fucking pathetic and not worthy of discussing fitness here if your priorities are in line with the faggot that is OP.

friendly reminder that Veeky Forums and /r9k/ are linked forever. it's cringey of you to get mad at social gains threads. really shows how new you are.

try to take a genuine interest in what youre talking about, makes it a lot easier to keep conversation going.
dont forget, the most important step is recognizing progress taht can be made. you got this user i believe in you

dam that's one cute asian gf

>incel calling others cringy
Stay mad midget. Lifting will do nothing for you.

one day, a girl will act like this with me.
>we're all gonna make it

People like to talk about themselves OP, if you ask questions and seem interested that should be enough

You will look weird if all you do is ask questions so you need to be able to relate something they said to something you experienced.
If you can't ask questions and have nothing to add then you are doomed to never have good conversations. Force yourself to have interests you don't have to do them but know something about it, I was talking to a guy about photography the other day I've never taken a picture with anything but my phone but I've read a lot about it on the internet. Also I hate football but everyone likes to talk about it so when it's on the news or someone tells me about it I listen and save it for when someone wants to talk about it.

Watch the news and Netflix, read buzzfeed, and regurgitate everything that you see.

Then you can engage in vapid conversation like a normie.

>but i find it hard to ask good questions too

Don't ask questions, make statements. That keeps the conversation flowing.

thanks

thanks, though most of the time i can't think of questions

are you retarded... compromise? your plan doesn't work unless you are tall and attractive (even then it is a shitty plan)

Meanwhile in Łvov, krsntininilivia sell cookies made of ham and cheeselike substance given to family. Nobody buys. She is freeze but has outlook for bright day coming.

She will use body for money before go back to work at hospital where she is degree of medicine of hart and lunge.

Every time a Muslim come they give food and money for bus, cheap loan for car, and money for each child- even new child.

She wishes her nation had a boarder again. Politician is of greed, to share money not theirs.

Someday soon- perhaps Christmas- black metal pagan patriot have more than words to satisfy result

Yes- is hope

Either be interesting or get them to talk about themselves

>tfw so autistic that I don't know when girls are doing something because they are interested in me, when they are attention whoring and when they are just doing their own thing and I'm imagining everything

With gym thots it's probably best to assume it's always the middle one, I guess.

Is of truth. You bargain logic and of course they will nod to agree. But you must see it they have new gold hidden to be sure is not jewess bitch. You can not tell otherwise

No you won't.

No.

No.

Yes, those are good advice.

Recent study confirmed the Dale Carnegie "how to win friends and influence people" principle of "to be interesting, be interested" by showing that people like those who ask them questions

npr.org/2017/11/29/567133944/people-like-people-who-ask-questions

Lead the conversation by asking about them. Most people don't even care what you have to say. They just want to hear themselves talk. if you ask the right questions they will think you're a great conversationalist even though you haven't really said anything.

>tfw ywn lead cows through the alps then blow into an alphorn, then proceed to go and smash your aryan bitch in a dirndl
Life is hard

bump, same situation as OP

this too

practice asking open ended questions (i.e. ones that cant be answered with a yes or now)

there are lists of conversational questions that a google search will give you

Dropping yourself in the deep end in every social situation (deliberately talking to everyone you can) is the only way to get better at speaking.

No. That's the best way to create a phobia. Not learn a skill.

And to add, if they are interested in you they will want to impress you so they will keep jabbering. Hit them with a compliment or statement and then go back to asking about them to make them feel like it is a two way conversation.

My autism and harsh cynicism prevent me from having a gf. I just don’t care anymore

Then you can interact without fear. Congratulations.

How do you mean?

Speaking from experience, it was only through putting myself through the first excruciating conversations with strangers and people I don’t know very well that I managed to reach a point where I can comfortably converse and make people feel appreciated and myself interesting without much effort.

Talking to barbers always helped too. They talk to people all day, often with little to no common ground between themselves and the person they’re talking to. Seeing how they keep a conversation going is a good place to start for learning how to keep your own conversations going.

Wait for them to say something that could be interpreted sexually and then shout THATS WHAT SHE SAID

This. Once I stopped putting the pussy on a pedestal and actually stop caring about women, it made it much easier to talk to them.

It's a lot easier when you're fit. I remember taking this approach when I was still fat and women would literally turn their back on me. It was heartbreaking. Now that I'm fit they will at least give me the time of day.

Veeky Forums is just /r9k/'s twin brother that's really into bodybuilding. God you're fucking new.

thanks

I've heard of this, like asking who, what, why, how, etc. but i still have trouble coming up with the right question tbqh. a lot of the questions i come up with feel too personal

Ask how their week or weekend has gone. It's not hard. Stop beating yourself up over nothing.

now that if you are with a woman you have the right to ask personal questions as a man. Be dominant and don't be afraid to ask what you want to know. if the girl is into you she's gonna respond to literally anything you ask, or if she denies you tease her about it, but don't be insecure in the way you're talking

just giving you a practical example

Wrong:
>Hey, do you prefer bearmode or ottermode?
>haha user I'm not answering that
>Oh, that was too personal, sorry for asking

Correct:
>prefer bearmode or ottermode?
>haha user, not gonna answer
>haha don't be shy

i do ask people about their weekend. 95% of the time it goes like this
>them: good, how was your weekend?
>me: it was good

the rest of the time
>them: it was good, i did errands, saw family
me: oh... nice
i don't know how to respond tbqh

some responses I've gotten:
>went to dinner/brunch with friends
>i was exhausted and just slept
>went to a wedding
>went to a party
>went to the cottage (the only one i actually have a response to, because everyone's next question is either "where's your cottage" or "how was the drive")

I'm literally autistic

and for each of those responses, i don't have a good follow up question

>had a girl who loved me for who i was
>so self conscious that i fucked it all up
life is pain

>people love talking about themselves

>try to get people to talk about themselves
>I eventually act as a therapist for them to offload their problems and vent and whatnot
>this always happens with every person I talk to

thanks

no problem, user, we're all gonna make it
but don't forget, if you wanna make it, action is necessary

>they won't love you for who you are but for how you make them feel

It's actually from the clankening.
>30 mins

Just talk about stupid shit you don't care about.

you haven't seemed to notice the diff between your time away from work and their time away from work. They're doing things.

"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." - Benjamin Franklin

Those legs are disgusting.

Most people figure this out by elementary school: Have a common interest or common enemy.

This is why being a leftist Trump hater is so popular among people with no hobbies: It's a safe bet with no repercussions, and if anyone challenges your stance you can call them a bigot and disassociate because they're probably too boring to do fun shit like get high and party.

Talk about whatever you want, within reason. One of three things will happen. One, they're shitty at conversation as well and it ends. It's not always just you that is bad at talking. After spending the past couple years learning to be social, you will be surprised by how autistic the average person is. Two, they're good at conversation but they're not interested or have nothing to say, so they change the subject or adjust it to something they want to or can talk about. Just follow along and once you get better, maybe try doing this as well. Three, they are interested and have things to say, the conversation flows like butter. Enjoy your new friend.

Being cool and attracting people is centered around doing your own thing and being confident enough to talk about it. People, as autistic and lazy as they are, usually don't want to or can't lead a conversation. Imagine a youtuber that just made videos asking the audience what he should do in his videos. Do you think he is going to get any attention? No.

tl;dr Just lead the conversation because people are too retarded to do it themselves. Don't care what they think. You're there for your own benefit.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO CHANGE AND FLOW THROUGH SUBJECTS!

men like to logically go from one subject to another directly related subject. women don't give a fuck about that. they care about emotions, mood, excitement. go from serious to funny to meaningless to smart to silly to meaningfull to sad.

also trump is a legitimate, racist degenerate who only cares about himself and his money.

>how do I get better at talking to people?
Talk to people
>nah no way

and america

Fuck off normie

hahaha. that's why he's L I T E R A L L Y increasing taxes on the middle class and GRADUATE STUDENTS, and decreasing taxes for the extremely wealthy(like him). what a generous, caring man.

>but muh trickle down ecuhnawmics D:::

since when is having common sense being a fucking normie?

why boobs covered in oil?

she's actually so fucking hot. anyone know source?

>question is about having social skills
>/pol/ mongoloid still finds way to make this about trump and politics and libcucks

Go back to your containment board you autist. jesus fucking christ you "people" really have ruined this country

>guys asks about getting social skills
>/pol/ retard: HURRRRRRRRRRRRR LEFTIST LIBKEK SNOWFLAKE TRUMP HATERS HAVE NO HOBBIES AND NEVER DO ANYTHING FUN

While at the same time, Trumpers claim that most libcucks are drug-addicted hippies, yet now because it fits your argument now it's the Trump supporters who are the ones who get high and party, let me guess, at your 150k a year engineering jobs because all Trump voters are the smartest and richest people, because libcucks are welfare-leeching degenerates, right?

Awww, poor baby is upset

Kek, this was good.
You made my morning.

>normie

normalfags get out

someone pls show me the source of this!!

>you will be surprised by how autistic the average person is

Too true. While I grew up mildly autistic(naive is more appropriate), I've learned to become more sociable and have climbed some social ladders. I have found far too many people (women especially) are incredibly unimpressive conversationalists. Worse; people simply are uninteresting and are so shortsighted with little deviation in thought or opinion from mainstream narrative.

I find too often that I enjoy the company of seniors (especially as they get closer to become deranged, they ramble on and on about SOMETHING at least) or children (playful, non-serious, and devoid of agenda). Normies take themselves so seriously, it's despicable.

Boring baritone conversations? Why would anyone want that? That’s awful.

bump, how can i respond to some of these, other than my usual "oh, that's nice" comment?

>Buzzfeed

Don't forget your soy milk

discard your narcissistic ways and genuinely give a shit about another organism other than yourself.

I don't know what to tell you, it's not like there's a cheat sheet. It's a combination of being a well rounded person (literature, sports, art, popular culture), confidence, and creativity

Yeah sometimes you're reaching, but you just have to go out of your comfort zone sometimes. If you follow sports you can easily bring up last nights game -> ask if they played any sports -> what school they went to -> etc etc. just don't think you're going to be a good conversationalist when you are too afraid to branch out into other hobbies. I find either cars or sports to be safe discussion topics for 75% of men I meet

i think i do care, i just don't know what to say

naw niba

you just want the payoff of being successful at social interactions

you don't actually give a shit about other people.

I'll try to get smth off the top of my head; I might not be a slayer, but I gotta be a good conversationist for my job (science teacher).
The "be interested approach" is actually the most honest way to uphold a conversation; try to find something you think YOU would find interseting to listen to if they told you more about it and ask for that. This way you do not have to pretend to be interested, and most girls notice this kind of fake interest anyways.

>went to dinner/brunch with friends
What did you have? / What kind of foods do you enjoy? / Where did you go to and would you recommend that place? / Don't you find eating out hard to fit into your diet, too? (if she's into fitness) / Wouldn't you fancy dinner with me next weekend instead? (if you're feeling you should mak a move; this one is much more about presentation than the question itsefl)
>i was exhausted and just slept
How come? / What did you undertake to be so drained? / Sometimes you just need a lazy day; I love staying in bed the whole day from time to time. ;)
>went to a wedding
What did you wear? / What kind of ceremony was it? Did you like it? / DId you have a good time? If so, why? If not, why not?
>went to a party
What kind of party (small circle of friends club etc.)? / What kind of music did they play? / Did they play music you're listening to? / You got wasted, didn't you? ;)
>went to the cottage
What kind of nature is nearby? / Did you go swimming/biking/....? / I also love some days without electronics. / You must have been freezing alone in bed I suppose. ;)

For those edgy final answers: I'm an austrian and we're accustomed to light hearted conversations, I don't know how well this translates to english or other countries, you be the judge.