Dick health thread

How do I sneak an STD treatment drug into my girlfriend, Veeky Forums?

>in monogamous relationship with gf for two years
>girlfriend went away for holiday
>be at college party in uni
>friend gives me half a Xanax before, never taken before
>black out
>wake up in girls bed with pants off at 5am
>assume we had sex, go home feeling like shit
>two weeks later
>hurts to piss, some discharge out of dick
>get tested
>have chlamydia
>take 4 pills at once, single dose
>been having regular unprotected sex with gf since incident
>75% of women do not have active symptoms of chlamydia
>buy chlamydia pills online
>need to give gf 4 pills at once to cure her invisible chlamydia

I'm planning on marrying this girl so if Veeky Forums can give me any information on how to sneak this pill into her drink, food, etc, please tell me

Crush them and put in mashed potato my dude

You are a massive degenerate and you are going to lose her

Thanks, I know. It haunts me every night since it happened

BUT she would 100% break up with me if I told the truth, so I have no choice but to lie in order to preserve our future senpai

hummm. crush it up in her food or something.

went with a hairdresser and got herpes, luckily already had facial herpes occasionally, blamed going down on the wife when she got herpes too.

I was in a similar situation, I crushed them up and put them in icecream.

don't fret so much, you think she was faithful on her holiday?

lel, just freak out and accuse her of cheating and giving you chalmydia. The best defense is a good offense

Could you crush it into water?
Keep fucking her raw that's how you'll know it worked if you don't get it again

You don’t have to tell her about the sex... just tell her that you randomly decided to get and std screening and surprisingly tested positive

This. Assuming you weren't a virgin when you met say it showed up in your last physical

"hey honey I got a random STD test even though we've had monogamous sex for two years and tested positive for chlamydia!" is possibly the most sus thing he can say lmao

OP just tell her you fuck

I'm in a similar predicament as you, user

>Britbong
>September 2016
>3rd year of college
>Gf is about a 2 hour's drive away from my dorm
>Ended up having 2 one night stands, one with protection the other raw dog
>Fast forward now
>Been raw dogging my gf since
>Still haven't been tested, had no symptoms.

But yeah I'd suggest you grind up her pills into a curry, you cook 2 pots, one for her and one for you (say yours is spicier or some shit, if you don't like spicy ts).

If you don't know how to make curry fucking learn, it's your best shot to save this w/o telling her.

Put the pills in a rolled up salami slice or jam them into some cheese

grind the pills up into a powder, then make her a smoothie
if you put strawberries in there, which have seeds,
she wont even know

Just tell her and probably leave. The guilts probably gonna kill you in the long run, and if you marry her and she finds out there goes half your stuff.

>dick health

>OP is asking a question that has nothing to do with dick health


Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck

>if Veeky Forums can give me any information on how to sneak this pill into her drink, food, etc

yeah, put the pills in her food or drink.

>have had problem with stinky smegma for years now
>only recently find out I just need to pull mty foreskin back and wash under the tip of my penis
Why did no one ever tell me this, my dick finally doesn't stink

i really hope your memeing, man, but if not, i've heard this like a dozen times. do parents not teach their kids anything anymore? has it always been like this? or are parents just forgetting to teach their kids basic stuff now?

Would you really want a future built on lies, user?
Is it worth it seeing your adultery in the reflection of her eyes every time she innocently looks at you?

kekd

And it took you how many years to figure this out?

>foreskin

Not memeing. I've once been told that I should "pull my foreskin back and wash there" but I only pulled it back to expose the tip of my dick, not the shaft behind it. I guess it's my own mistake that I interpreted the advice wrongly
I'm 19 now. Good thing I've never had sex r-right?
glad I still have it

you clearly don't love her if you fucking cheated on her you idiot. End it/tell her now before you regret staying together when the signs were there later.

How strong do the pills tastse? Is it possible to dissolve them into a coffee or something that has a strong taste?

>thinly velied fbi thread

>half a xanax
>blackout
How much of a faggot are you OP?

finally some sane, solid advice. I can't believe the amount of dumbshits in this thread.

Kek

Forget this loser. I've done way worse shit. Shit happens. Being honest with her about it won't make you a better person, it'll just make her upset. Crush up the pills and put them in some food or drink. Use something that already has a strong taste of it's own so she's less likely to notice.

>she's a dog
Give her the ol' peanut butter trick user

You're a selfish degenerate for lying to maintain your own state of bliss and your girlfriend is a dunderhead for her drastic misinterpretation of your character. I suggest you forgo the chlamydia medication until your girlfriend becomes infertile.

Think I might have enlarged prostate lads

Constantly getting up to pee but I hardly pee or I pee very little

Finally a man of wisdom.