Chad Thread

But how do you know how to truely be a chad without learning from a chad, or learning seperate Chad skills from multiple semi-chads?

>position opens up with a pay bump and a promotion from my current position
>apply for it
>turns out that I'm one of two people who threw my name in the hat, the other being a new guy actually named Chad
>Chad gets the position over me

Little did I know the game was rigged from the start. I mean, how do you compete with a literal Chad?

Maybe he was better skilled? Not everything is a conspiracy

He used to work for a vendor who'd work in the story and the assistant store director knows him because of that. He has no retail management experience and has been here for less than a month.

I'm not even mad, I just thought there was something a little funny that I lost out to a literal Chad.

>Been living at home since graduating college
>Have a solid relationship with the folks, it's been going good
>Saving money to get my own place
>Been jacking off in my room maybe twice a day (high stress job stfu) and shooting it into my deskside trash can
>My mom drinks these canned sparkling waters which I also enjoy
>Maybe taken, like, three of them up to my room to finish drinking them
>Tossed cans into desk side trashcan

>I come home today
>My mom says "user I saw that you had thrown those cans into the trash can by your desk so I took them out to the recycling"
>Uh oh
>"They were covered with something sticky and smelly, actually your whole trash was, so I threw it out. but I put the cans in the recycling."
>She emphasized this point.

My mom fucking handled my gross several day old jizz. I thought I was being chill just shooting into the trash. I don't know what to do guys it's nasty she hasn't said that she had to deal with my jizz but she's gotta know, right?

Ugh.

In other news I hit 3 pl8 5x5 squat two days ago with solid form.

Why the fuck

Use tissues you disgusting fuck.

Also move out

heres a screencap that i got to be in

I'm saving up to move out. I'm not some nasty man child, I thought shooting into the trash was a solid policy. I take it out every couple days.

All these fucking onions have me tearing up bro...

Chad only helps those that help themselves.

Tissues are literally $1 a box, you retard.

Wtf I'm dyel as fuck and I can put down 135lb silently. I feel like you don't deserve to drop the bar until you're at 3 or 4 plate.

The "I'm saving up to move out" was in response to "Also move out" not "use tissues"

>not using your socks
Never gonna make it

Some sick cunt is eating raw onions near me again

oh fuck i was in that thread

this

Socks (or even a cum rag) are definitely more environmentally friendly, and you can use fabric softener to get a better feel than tissues.

>put me in screen cap

why in the world would you want old jizz in your room

This hit too hard m8

I FUCKING TAKE OUT THE TRASH LIKE EVERY THREE DAYS THIS ISN'T SOME DEGENERATE PISS JUG HABIT I'M A FAIRLY TIDY PERSON
this isn't a cappable story user it's been done worse before. I was hoping for some reassurance god dammit.

What the fuck brah

>Be me 13-15
>Auschwitz mode
>End up meeting Chad through goth friend (childhood friends, grew up on same streets)
>Chad 2 years older than me, 6'4, muscular, blond hair/blue eyes, hooks up with girls constantly, turned out one of the few girls that payed any attention to me during this period was only doing so to hook up with him (he refused, kindly)
>Despite this, also kind of a dick, constantly lightly bullying his friends, gets physical for little reason, constantly threatens violence if anyone disagrees with him
>Get sick of being auschwitz in general, but also decide I need less toxic relationships
>Start hitting the gym, do MMA for a year (just twice a week,) start hanging out with delinquent metal crowd rest of HS, get into fights constantly
>To balance moral compass also work to help mom with rent, volunteer at animal shelter, get straight A's
>HS ends. See him through friends, we're probably at the same weight but I'm 5'10 so I'm much more muscular
>Treats me with actual respect (I think more out of fear than anything, if he threatened me the way he had when I was skelly I almost certainly would've stomped the shit out of him,) keeps complementing my size
>Feels_good_man.jpg
>Fast forward 8 years
>27
>Hear about him through dad (who's friends with his mom, small town)
>He's living at home, works a part-time grocery store job, plays vidya all day erry day, girls don't date him because he's approaching 30 and has no future
>On one hand happy that I've beaten "Chad" both in terms of intimidation and professionally, but also sad to see Chad's downfall, especially since without him I probably would've stayed a skelly pussy forever

it's still old man. 3 day old cum is nasty

are you fucking retarded

Where do you shoot your load then?

made it bro

in a grill or socks/tissues.

Kek'd and check'd

You're supposed to have a cum dumpster, not a cum bin.

Thanks bro, though I'm only really beating him in that I have a relatively boring but stable office job, more muscle, and don't live with my parents. I haven't been on a date in 2 years and I have no doubt that he'd still win on tinder/bar hookups every time.

Still, we're all gonna make it. I even hope my Chad becomes less of a fuckup and makes it someday, despite his flaws.

good for you really.

He never was a true Chad.
Chad is an epitome of the perfect man, while he might've been hooking up constantly and looked great, he failed to make it in the end. It might be that he got too full of himself and didn't strive to improve or something happened in his life that stripped him off any drive, any motivation to do well. It's actually really sad if you think about it.
We all want to become Chad in a way, be it by smashing tons of pussy or being successful with our careers, or whatever - you name it.
But can anyone ever become a true Chad? Chad is literally the perfect man and in all our history maybe only a dozen Chads have ever existed, if any. The best thing we can do is to try and come as close to Chad as we manage during our lifetimes through hard work and self-improvement. That's how we are all gonna make it.

>Still, we're all gonna make it. I even hope my Chad becomes less of a fuckup and makes it someday, despite his flaws.

This is the essence of your success right here man. Good work.

>[U
Do you not put a bag in your fucking trash can? Jesus fuck, you came buckets in a bucket

I do put a liner in my trash can.
My mom went through my trash to remove aluminum cans for recycling

Jesus you fucking degenerate. Learn to recycle properly so your mom isn't handling your nut

...

Or alternatively, start squirting on other things OP's mom handles; I think she might be into it.

Kinky user, kinky.

I'm the same, I've got a trash bag in my bin so it's not even hassle to clean it.

All these people saying they use their socks that's way worse as you have to put it in your washing machine and re wear them. I used to press the bit between my ass and balls to stop myself cumming but stopped as I read it can cause damage

fuck off fagot , go back and upvote yourself somewhere else you cancerous piece of shit soyboy. i bet you cross fit 10 pounds and think youre a chad. you dont have a clue about life . chads always win thats the game . its not a conspiracy its reality . now go crawl in a hole and die

You make me feel better about myself

hahahahahahha. put me in the screencap

>be playing doubles pool with a qt on my team
>other team got mad they lost so tried to start a fight with me
>looked over at my Chad buddy and he said something to his buddies
>four of them came over, at least two of them were over 6'4 and asked if there was a problem
>drunk guys shit their pants and left the bar
>qt thought I was important and fucked me that night

You left out some details, why did she fuq you?

>spilling seed and losing gains
Why don't you just eat your own load and say an 'our father'?

I'm with you man. I just jacked off and instead of shooting it into my trash I shot it into some paper towels and flushed it down the toilet.
Never again will my mom handle my nut for recycling. Jesus fucking christ fuck my life.

It's not a cap-worthy story.

None of them are
That's what's so sad about it

>older sister threw her 19th birthday party at her Chad coworkers house
>which means I was 17
>ended up getting crazy, at least like 300 people from front yard to backyard
>drugs and body shots and everything you'd imagine
>ppv porn playing on the living room tv
>pretty drunk having a great time
>thought it'd be smart to smoke a lot of good pot really fast
>immediately started spinning and threw up in the bathroom
>stumbled out and told my sister I was dying
>she told Chad and it was like he sprung into hero mode
>Ran to get me water and crackers, pushing his way through drunk sluts
>Sat there with me at a table away from the action while I ate them fully focused on whether I was alright or not
>ended up calming down and beta orbiting him the rest of the night while he introduced me to 10/10s

kek this but unironically

it's raining tonight

>a true Chad
I believe that Chad's are perceived relative the observer and the observer's experiences.

Well she did for a couple reasons I'd imagine but the biggest baddest guys in the bar having my back didn't hurt

Isn’t this risky? What if gf finds sock?

You did nothing wrong.

user thats a good way to clog the toilet, just use TP

Is jerking into the toilet the final redpill?

DAMMIT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT

what did your trashcan look like?

Not like that. I took it out every couple days so it was pretty neat, usually just papers and a few cans.
I remember the cum boxer story.

A small amount is fine, and don't worry user, I learned not to put Paper towel in a toilet the hard way.

>Letting a girl control your masturbation
What're ya doin mate

This is me and my cousin. He was always the Chad, rich cousin while I was the anger issues having, poor cousin.

Despite this, he always saw me as a top notch lad who had just been handed the wrong end of all the deals he got (alcoholic/absent dad, unloving mom, unadjusted parents) and was honestly a great human being, and I always saw him as a role model when everyone thought he was shit.

The other day was my birthday and he actually tagged me on an ig post that said something like "got two sisters but you had to be my brother", and I'm not sure if he knows how great that is for me.

Men can hold truly astonishing bonds, lads.

>Bathroom sink.
>Unless you're a manlet, standing is a perfect height to unload right in the sink.
>Better for your back as well.
>Clean up is a breeze, plus you can put your ipad or faptop right there at a convenient height.
>Most bathrooms have locks so having your cover blown is minimized, plus you can say you were taking a dump.
>Just remember to spray air freshener afterwards or your dump alibi will not be credible.

>Just be careful you don't have an ant problem in your house/neighborhoos.
>live in Irvine, CA which has the biggest ant population in the universe
> I was using this method for a stint while my wife was late term pregnant and gross.
> One day I come home and a fucking black train of ants was all going down the drain and back
> Wife said to me, what is wrong with our drain; this has never happened before?!?!
>my face pic related "Dunno honey, I'll get some draino?!"

because of the implication

And this is why I keep coming here.

Bro what the fuck

I know this place is getting to me because as it was happening I sort of knew I was obligated to post here about it. I was like "oh fuck Veeky Forums is going to kill me."

Cum into a wad of toilet paper like a normal person you mong

[spoiler] kek'd [/spoiler]

You nutted in the mouth of a bunch of queen ants, broh.

I honestly just cum in my hands and on myself (like on my dick and under my stomach) then get up with sick still in hand and go to the bathroom where I wash my hands and dick. Never used tissues

This was me and my best friend in undergrad. I was the chad of the body, he was the chad of the soul/with women. Truly a great man

Gross

I wish I had a dude like that growing up

Nice, I'll see this on /r/greentext tomorrow.
Cheers fellow redditors.

I'm not sure if this counts, because technically I'm referring to myself as the "Chad" here but I played d1 football for 3 years so I guess I kind of was.

>20 years old, redshirt freshman season
>We ended up winning a bowl game this year, so the parties were off the hook for first 10 days of the following semester and I was apparently important enough to be considered an "honored guest" at all of them
>More female attention than I could possibly imagine, despite having a legitimate 2/10 face
>Know the absolute torture of being perpetually stuck getting rejected by girls in high school due to said face, so I make it my goal to share some of the QT's with some of the nerdier friends from my science classes
>It's pretty difficult to convince them to come out with me, but the second night of partying two Aushwitz mode chemists decide they need to let loose before our classes got too difficult
>End up hooking both of them up with 5/10's, one pretty much did it on his own but I introduced the other one to lots of girls who thought it was cool he knew someone on the team
>Go home drunk without any girls because my mission had been accomplished.
>Get homework answers from them as a thank you for the next year of chemistry classes

Now I'm just some deadbeat Veeky Forumsizen who will likely never touch a girl again, but this was a fond memory.

Context/story???

I wasn't here

Are you stupid or are you stupid?

thems some good feels sir. You are indeed a chad.

Chad is in the eye of the beholder

Godbless you Veeky Forums

This goldmine of a board never fails to impress me

Hearty kek

Congrats on the deadlift brah

He squatted, not deadlift

>she's gotta know, right?

Gee, I wonder if she found out what jizz smells like when she was getting creampie'd by your dad while trying to make you, hmmm