Have hairy ass

>my shit literally doesn't stink. maybe 1 in every 250 of my shits smells bad.
That's not a good sign. Having a good and strong system of gut bacteria is what makes your shit stink.

I have a 7 3/4 inch cock with a girth of 2 1/8 inches.
It gets in the way alot :(

Can you show me?

Grower not a shower, but you get the idea.
>yes im unjewed. Like it that way.

M A D M A N

>i can pick shit up and throw it with my feet, i'm really fucking lazy so if i can avoid bending to grab something, i will.
>I'm naturally flexible but i do stretch on a regular basis as well.

>My farts smells like decay, very reminiscent of expired chicken fillets.
I also have a hairy and dry asscrack so i literally cropdust anyone whenever i want because i'm out of fucks, and noone suspects it's me.

I guess i have a circus body only a mother can love.

i have so many freckles i'm considering to just get tattoos based on zodiac signs and so on.

oiii there buddy that's a .. snack.
also i dig your shoes.

My bad for not getting a hard on for Veeky Forums lol

>dat floor
>those pants
Did you just pull out your junk in your workplace and take a pic of it on a taiwanese cheesegrater forum?

>pants
user, you cant recognize male jeggings when you see them?

They do like a poot every now if I eat certain things, but I fart around my gf and she won't notice. I have pretty thick strands of hair though.

How is that girth 2"???

Wiggling ears is a good way to keep away forehead wrinkles. Tighten em while working out.

nah, that's not entirely true. trust me, i have gone to great lengths researching this subject. plus, it's not like my shit doesn't smell like, well, shit if you were to take a whiff of it a foot away. i just mean i don't have those shits where everyone who uses the bathroom after you can smell it for 30 minutes afterwards

I have a hairey asshole too and my farts are making no sound but when I once went to a club and let one slip, everybody immediately knew it was me, as they looked at me in disgust while leaving the dancefloor

>have hairy ass
>shit gets stuck on hair
>asshole constantly smelly
These are not good traits

I try not to look at pictures of other people's junk too much. It's a bit too gay for my taste

sweet moves dude. i can only get about one inch past the head at my most flexible.

Same. I only watch lesbian porn for that same reason.

HHAHAHAHAHHAHA HE ACTUALLY DID IT I CANT BREATHE

my penis is just a slightly smaller version of this (7 inches long, 2 inch girth) and I can guarantee you that is pretty much what my flapper looks like.

>have hairy ass
>excessively sweaty ass

>he watches porn

>have hairy, naturally blown out ass
>shit doesn't stink or rub off
>can store cords/small tools/medium sized medicine balls in a 30+liftan plug configuration ready for action.

how the fuck is that 2" inches?
do you have a pencil dick?

>2 inch girth

My fingers have literally 2 inch girth. I refuse to believe you guys know how to measure ANYTHING because a 7 inch dick with 2 inch girth is anatomically impossible. It wouldn't even be able to support itself.
2 inch = 5 cm circumference --> 1.6 cm diameter. I doubt your dick has that diameter, that's just ridiculous. An average condom is 54mm, so ~2 inch diameter. DIAMETER. You're saying your dick has ~0.6 inch diameter. That means your dick could fit at least 3 times in an average condom. That's just ridiculous.

American education, ladies and gentlemen.

i ran off of what he said since ours look similar, assuming that i had been measuring girth wrong. when i run some tailor's tape around my ween, i get 5.5 inches of wraparound. is that girth?

Just watch rick and mort

Yeah, that's your girth. That's reasonable.

girth
noun
1.
the measurement AROUND the middle of something, especially a person's waist.
synonyms: circumference (..)

are you saying shaved asses are fart-clarinettes?

Never shaved mine, but it makes me laugh, I don't know why

>PPUUUUUUUUT
>sorry, just shaved my crack

good. no need to get all autistic on people over how they fail to find the proper methods of measuring dicks on an indonesian buttplug telephone tree.

more like a vibrato cellist having a stroke.

Too dumb and autistic to do anything good, but at least I'm not a manlet

Sorry, I genuinely meant no offense.

>i don't have those shits where everyone who uses the bathroom after you can smell it for 30 minutes afterwards

Soyboy detected.

What the literal fuck is a telephone tree

I hate your vocabulary

of all the things you could have said, 'sorry' is what i expected least. you warmed my nutsack, tovarisch.

a community plan where people will call other people who will call other people and etc before relaying it back to the original caller if a child goes missing or there's been an accident or anything like that and people want to make sure that others are okay.

Inherited perfect squat flexibility (slav genes), never had a problem with planting my feet flat in any position or hip buckling. Apparently, lots of people start out really inflexible there.

>can sort of use it to drown out annoying noises
As someone who suffers from misophonia I would kill for this

what's hip buckling?

When your back rounds during a squat due to inflexibility and/or weakness. There are other names for sure, but I don't know any (not a native speaker)

buttwink

*hueing fartedly*

Holy shit do we have the same penis?

>post physical traits you appreciate or find unique.
My big nose because it makes me fucking ugly and i never get laid

I have vision problems. I see the entire world through a filter that makes it look like there's rainbow colored television static everywhere. It doesn't hinder my ability to read or perform visual tasks, I still have 20/10 vision, but it does look really pretty to stare at dark places where the effect is more prominent.

Intresting. Why is that, user?

Something in the brain most likely. It's a condition that's so rare that some doctors don't believe it even exists because science has yet to figure out what's causing it. From the perspective of an eye exam I look completely healthy.