>high school graduation
>school is relatively small and they do this thing where they call out 3 to 4 names and those kids need to come up on stage and their head teacher (I don't know if that system exists in other countries, but in my country every student has a designated teacher that is their "head teacher", who is essentially their high school guide) will tell those students a fun little bit and tell the audience something short about the students
>after three groups my name is called
>they don't call any other names
>head teacher looks at me
>"user I WANT YOU HERE BY YOURSELF"
>I go up on stage
>she gives some weird sign
>a song starts playing that references my name
>"user I picked this song for you"
>she lets the song play in its entirety, which is already longer than the usual duration of an entire group speech
>when the song is done she goes into a 45 minute talk about why I'm her favorite student ever and all other students should be like me
>ends it all with "our time here together was like a love story!" while winking at me
>one kid's dad (I never found out who) starts laughing like a madman and shouts "what the fuck" a few times
>more people start laughing
>a few start clapping
>everyone's clapping
>teacher starts clapping too
>as I take my HS diploma from her hands she kisses me on the cheek
>awkwardly walk off stage
>shake some of my former teacher's hands
>my french teacher says "ooh user come here" and also kisses me on the cheek
>go home right away instead of staying for some chit chat like most do
>avoid contact with everyone from high school aside from a handful of very close friends
>a few months later I meet someone from HS and he tells me that the speech my teacher gave about me was the only thing others wanted to talk about for a week, and that according to his younger brother the event has become a huge meme at school
>never knew why she did it since she wasn't all that nice to me during class (she wasn't nice to anyone t b h)
ITT: Analyze past cringe for social gains
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My entire life is just a string of social cringe. Yours sounds pretty rough OP.
>45 minute talk
yeah ok
Probably just hyperbole
Did you smash?
Why didn't you fuck her you sperg
>prom
>drunken whores all around
>class slut pulls me by the arm
>"you're my boy tonight user"
>tell her "lel fuck off slut"
>walk away
6 years later still a virgin
>8th grade Spanish class
>Teacher makes us pick Spanish names to use instead of our real ones
>best friend picks Walter, I pick Jésus but everyone calls me Jesus despite teacher correcting them every day
>new punk rock, hot, Stoner chick transfers in to class, I try to impress her as best as an 8th grader can
>annoying girl sitting next to me picks Laura but pronounced with Spanish accent sounds like Loud-ah
>when she announces her name I laugh really loud and say hahah Loud-ah that’s fitting
>everyone turns and looks at me like I killed a dog except Walter who high fives me
>transfer chick shakes her head at me and says “that was really mean”
>teacher says I owe her a pagame and need to come in during lunch for detention
Fuck you Lexi you were ugly and only reason I talked to you was so you could hook me up with the cute 7th grader you went to church with and you couldn’t even do that right cunt
>that was ten years ago and still think about it once a week
In high school
Girl has boyfriend
One day in class girl just staring at back of my head
Someone comments
Boyfriend says >user you’re in lol
people that hear politely chuckle, I do same
Couple of days later girl and boy break up
Couple days later again girl and I are waiting outside for class to start. She starts talking to me, asking questions ect.
Mumble and class starts.
Never talk to her again.
Why are people so fucking weird?
Also guy may or may not have talked shit about my family a few years before so I wasn’t holding back from loyalty to him.
I probably should've been a hero. Its a bit too late now
That was pretty alpha though
> Was dating two girls and things both got really serious with both. I was working between the US and China and had a girlfriend in each city I lived in.
> Chose the chink because I thought it was cool to be fucking an Asian, basically, and the sex was really good.
> She was uneducated and no real goals in life. She eventually broke up with me.
> Years later I'm on Facebook and the white girl is like smart and incredibly cool and rich and has an interesting life and was basically way above my pay grade. What the fuck was I thinking.
I'm married now and life is good but I still want to beat the shit out of myself 10 years ago.
sounds like you slayed user
lol
Dodged a bullet, user. And by bullet, I mean STD.
greentext is hard huh
did you end up marrying them
I want to be you
same story for me
narcisstic as well?
>be like 12
>nicest, best looking fitfu girl of the class gives me a selfdrawn bday card with a heart
>i laugh at her and throw it away
>be 16, at silvester party
>girl ive been chatting to in class asks me to be her "only friend"
>i laugh at her and tell her to fuck off
>later asks me whether she can spend the night with me
>i laugh at her and tell her to fuck off
>be 18
>cutest girl of the whole year asks me to go to prom with her
>i say no thanks
>turn up to prom in jogging suit later
>be 19
>first year in uni
>neighbour girl asks me whether i am still a virgin
>i say yes
>she asks me whether we want to change that
>i tell her to fuck off
geeeeeee
its all womens fault that i am a loner virgin
what the fuck is wrong with me
Sorry, but theres no such thing a Jésus in Spanish
the Chad autist
this
>in the last few years of school, could go out of school for PE, like go swimming or something
>at swimming pool with friends hanging out, pretty thin but not exactly fit.
>at end, i go to chill in jacuzzi bath for like 10 mins
>7/10 girl enters and gets into the pool with me
>general chit chat and stuff
>shes getting closer and closer, mid-chat she deathgrips my dick.
>autism out and stand up and get out of pool and go get dressed
>didnt get laid for another 3 years
how bad would she have felt
>>turn up to prom in jogging suit later
How did your get your dick out of the deathgrip?
Oh boy, I'll try to keep it short.
>be me, 4th grade fatty, we go on a school trip
>tell girl I've had a crush on that I like her, while wearing leopard swimming briefs and eating an ice cream by the pool
>"oh user, I like you too, that's like sympathy for friends"
>8th grade, have a crush on 2 girls
>one of them asks me during math class if I like the other one
>"dunno"
Highschool was full of awkward moments but eventually got better.
First year of uni now, stopped giving a fuck about what other people think and got myself a gf.
Looking back, I've missed a lot of chances, but I'm glad I went through these awkward situations so now I know better.
Literally what the fuck am I reading? That sounds horrible
Netherlands?
A L P H A
What does that even mean
what if it is
Becuase at my HS it was exactly the same.
What happened?
A L P H A
But srs wtf is wrong with you user
>be me, 19
>first year in college
>work at Wendy’s, full of dindu’s, only white guy working there
>didn’t mind too much cause they were cool cause we all smoke weed
>really cute 18yo high school senior 8/10 negress works there
>one day making chili in back
>she comes up to me and said confidently, “hey user, I think your cute, do you wanna be my boy friend,”
>I stopped making chili, and just fake laughed
>she kept starring at me as I continued to laughed and till it was awkward enough for her to finally walk away
>hours passed that day
>cute nigress doesn’t talk to me for rest of day
>realize I blew my shot fucking cute hs Black chick cause in full autismo mode
I still cringe to this day when I think about it. Had to other chances in life to fuck a black chick but blew it but that was the worst.
I feel your pain. I was always somewhat fat and My first crush in high school was this small blonde girl a year ahead of me in my math class who sat next me, we talked regularly, told me about her sexual adventures with household objects when she was younger, figure I had it bagged until she said she couldnt make up her mind and she wanted me to kiss her. I was already shy as fuck at the time so I had no clue What to do. After about two weeks of thinking about it I decided to say fuck it one day in the middle of class, I reached over and nuged her head towards me and moved in so fast I'm surprised I didnt headbutt her. The entire class stared quietly for a few seconds until the teacher made a joke of some kind and things moved on. A day later she said she couldn't be get with me since her fat friend liked me. I gave that a shot and after gaining a few horror stories I ghosted her. Never talked to the blonde girl again after that year.
>be 19 years old working at a supermarket
>new employee is 28 year old Latina single mom
>zero clue as to why she always talks to me
>always initiates physical contact at work and in the breakroom
>she gives me her number after a month and tells me that she was upset I never asked despite all the signs she was throwing at me
>Mother's Day comes up and I decide it would be a sweet gesture to text her and wish her a happy Mother's Day
>she thinks it's one of the nicest things I could do and acts lovey towards me all time after
>she sends me nudes anytime I'm working and she has the day off because she wants to get me hard while I'm stocking shelves
Keep in mind by this point I have literally never touched her once, it was always her on me and despite that one text never initiated contact, anyway
>get text from her night before we both work that after we're off she wants to fuck me in her car
>next day, shifts are over, sweating profusely as I get in her car
>drive to secluded area, I'm talking to her about how angry I am that audiences didn't like Kingdom of the Crystal Skull as much as the first 3 Indians Jones ones
>tells me we have to make this fast because she's working her second job in a few hours, takes her pants off, sitting there next to me with just panties on and her shirt
>without a chance to prepare she leans over and makes out with me, never been kissed before so I start moving my lips really fast, she's not into it at all
>I get nervous and face away from her and just look out the window
>it's silent for a while then she says she'll drive me home
>got dropped off and all contact slowly ceased steadily after that day
>tfw had a girl tell me she wants to fuck me, was sitting next to me in just her underwear, kissed me, and I still didn't seal the deal
Im just saying the process was exactly the same in my HS. As in we were called out in 3-4 etc.
You should have told her up front that you've never done anything like this and had her coach you through it.
Since she's clearly a cougar she already knows she's the one with more experience so she wouldn't have been turned off by your lack of experience like some sluts your age might be.
How were you moving your lips? Not trying to throw salt on the wound, but I was able to get the gist of it as a virgin.
It pains me to type this out but like I was chewing on a lot of gum with my mouth open, that movement.
I'm 23 soon to be 24 now, is that getting to an age where I shouldn't tell them I'm a virgin. Looking back on it I could have totally gotten away with it in my teens despite it feeling like the end of the world.
Is that a girl (male)?
BASED
wow that's just sad user
how did she act at work afterwards?
>be 20
>be living in share house
>toilet is occupied
>about to piss my pants
>go to other bathroom with no toilet
>piss in sink
>sweet relief
>go to my room and play vidya
>a while later housemate confronts me
>stare blankly
>"that's disgusting. Really? Who would do that?"
>they never mention it again
Its been 5 years and I'm still friends with them. Wonder if they still remember. They probably do. Ehhhhhhh.
If we walked by each other she would be friendly but I could just feel a huge difference. She was uncomfortable.
Not being a cunt to newbies is hard hey?
I got one
>be me in college
>kissless virgin, never talked to girls in highschool
>Just found fit and started lifting and eating right
>was pretty skinny so I got mah newb gains instantly
>anyway walking to gym one afternoon and this guy and 2 girls come up to me.
>guy pulls me a side and says chick 1 thinks I'm cute wants my number.
>she's about a 7/10
>sperg out as say no thank you, guy says just take the number but I never did
At the time I thought they were fucking with me and it was going to be some cruel shit they were going to pull. I've upped my self confidence now and looking back I really should of taken it but I just freaked at the moment
You can learn how to greentext in half a second. It's not complicated.
>The alpha virgin
>tinder girl over at my place
>she’s getting undressed and I just go over and start dry humping her from behind
>just gives me that Constanza look
>girl I was seeing at the time riding my dick
>without thinking while I’m playing with her tits
>”i love your tits but I wish they were bigger”
>she slows to a stop but I keep going
>becomes big prombel
>oneitis invites me over to her uni flat to watch films
>lying in her bed
>'user i'm cold'
>get up and shut the window then lie back down
>sleep over being too terrified of her to even fucking cuddle her
Some of us weren't born for this world.
Hahahaha! Awesome!
Here's mine from graduation:
>Be me at 17
>Matured oddly; looked a little older
>Lifting weights, 6'8", full beard, lots of body hair
>Go up to get diploma
>Really big class - about 340 students
>Principal handing out diploma covers (real certificate comes in the mail)
>All principal does is shake hands and smile; no speeches or anything. This is normal
>I get up there
>Principal gets caught on hot mic "You were a student?!"
>Roars of laughter
>That would explain why I never got harassed by hall monitors or teachers in the hallway
Yes.
>Veeky Forums is friendly to newfags
who on reddit said this
It's never too late to an hero
was your teacher hot op?
so many chances and you nuked (because "blew" would be an understatement) them all, i still hope you're joking, because that's seriously fucked up
>the chad virgin
You're gay, right?
>tell her to fuck off
WHY
there is only Allah in Span- I mean, Andalusian
1.
>7th grade
>Girl walks with me from school to home
>Is flirting hard, tells me she wants to go up (I lived in the second floor of a building), she literally offered me sex she told me lets go up!
>Tell her no my brother is living with me and my mom, she insists for minutes and minutes
>Tell her no
>Next day we're smoking a cig before class with some female friends of mine, she's there
>somehow gets mad and gives me a big fucking slap
>I was fucking dumbfounded
>9th grade
>New school, new class
>Made friends, after class always chill with my friends close to where the class is
>Girl from the other side of school somehow finds me
>Tells my friend she wants to meet me
>Didn't think she was that attractive really, she was cute tough
>For the next year every morning her and her friend always hang around me and my friends
>Pretend she doesn't exist even when I'm next to her, I talked with her here and there but that was it
>Same year
>Actually find a girl I like, shes ukranian or something
>My female friend tells her
>Next weeks she spends her time trying to get my attention
>Trips my foot, walks past me and looks at me for a few seconds, that kind of things.
>Do nothing
>9th grade
>girl in my class starts sending signs she likes me
>where do you live user?
>want to take me home user?
>say no thanks
>she was not very pretty but still
>10th year
>Cute redhead joins class
>is making fun of this guy
>says - please the only people here who aren't virgins are john, Thomas and user.
...
>Got depression
>Lost a ton of weight
>Look unhealthy
>Still a virgin
Only recovering now, I don't have autism, just some really bad social anxiety due to childhood bullying.
CHAD VIRGIN VS VIRGIN CHAD
Kek
>>Principal gets caught on hot mic "You were a student?!"
>>That would explain why I never got harassed by hall monitors or teachers in the hallway
>cant greentext
>still dares to post that shit story
if you cant bother to greentext im not going to read your shit comments
btw fuck off newfag you dont belong here
i think so :-/
but i dont want...
I am actually most heartbroken about the first one. In hindsight, she was so sweet and put in so much effort. No wonder they grow to hate us.
user we all know you didnt say that you just ran away
...
knowing that i could fuck a girl and rejecting her is better than fucking her which would give her satisfaction.
dont ask me about my relationship with my mom btw
i kinda ran away from the silvester party one while mocking her. turns out that she wanted me even more after that. i hate cunts
Gay or really insecure about something?
>tells thots to fuck off
>saving virginity for when it's special
alpha af
the alpha thing to do is to slay that pussy and not care whether she got satisfaction or not
>parents decided to move to another country when i was 8th grade
>No one there speaks English
Do i need to tell more?
heavy dicklet
it sucks because i had chad personality because sociopathy
...
Absolutely the right call.
Testing ip range ban because I dont want to type a story for it to tell me i am banned here
Were you at least super drunk?? Like wtf were you thinking?
>13 years old
>Just in hs
>REally fucking cute girls starts talking to me
>Full sperg mode at all times
>She sticks around for weeks waiting after classes and all
>I'm too shy to buck up and ask her out
>She gets asked out by some guy, her friend answers for her
>Keeps talking to me saying how she wishes she had someone to convince her to leave the relationship and to get with them
>I'm too sad and autistic to understand
>15 years old waiting outside a class
>Best friend and girl I'm friendly with shouts "user she said she'd go out with you"
>I look at her
>She blushes and sorta looks down
>Turn to my friend
>"G-good one dickhead"
>Girl looks mortified and speed wlaks away
>She approaches me at lunch "A-user"
>"WHAT?"(I wasn't even angry or anything just shouted it at her)
>Everyone looks
>She goes beet red and walks away again
>I just sorta stand there until a friend ushers me down the hall
>16
>Girl I like is messaging me that she likes someone in our class but is too nervous to tell me who
>I say if I go through everyone will you tell me
>She says yea
>List everyone but myself
>No no no and so on
>"Then it's me?"
>"Yea"
>"lol good one"
I would have happily dated all of these girls but now I'm just a fucking virgin loser at 20
...
>tfw have no missed opportunities because i'm not an autist and can pick up cues
>tfw too ugly to have any opportunities to begin with
25 khv
>New kid mid-8th grade
>Barely knew English cuz spic immigrant
>Actually I understood it but I hated my accent
>Also autistic
>9/10 redhead notices me
>Starts talking to me
>Talking to me any chance she gets
>oh shit just want to run
>Writes me a letter asking me out
>Pretend I can't understand what it says
>Say that I will get it translated
>Avoid her any chance I get
>Keeps asking if my friend translated it yet
>Eventually she asks me in broken Spanish if I think she is pretty
>"No"
>Actually I thought she was gorgeous but I was scared of her
>Gives me this disappointed/sad look
>Doesnt talk to me anymore but stares at me a lot
>Ends up moving away like a week after that
>Last time I saw her she was riding on the back of her parents car giving me this sad look
I'm sorry Felicia or whatever your name is...I was too much of an autist back then
>thinks he doesn't miss cues
>still a virgin
Tell me, oh wise one, what are these cues?
I've been getting laid since I was 8. Yes, eight. I can tell if you're full of shit.
How do we cure this brother ? I push back every girl coming at me while being a sad loser.
I know that feel all too well user
>highschool chem class
>girl I adore sits in front row
>Never talk to her
>one day teacher says he has a teat to hand back to me
>without thinking say outloud "Anonette can you grab that for me?"
>"No"
>walk of shame to front of class to retrieve test
I felt like such a retard everyone heard too even the teacher cringed
>I've been getting laid since I was 8. Yes, eight.
uncle paul touching your hiney hole doesn't constitute getting laid
But why tho? Had you even talked to her before?
>a teat
One word, just one word....piss bottle.
>....piss bottle
how fat are you exactly?
Pissing in the sink is super convenient and wastes less water than the toilet. Just piss, run the tap for 2 seconds, done.