My ex-girlfriend is coming back in 3 months to meet me (I don't know why), I have no muscle and am skinny...

My ex-girlfriend is coming back in 3 months to meet me (I don't know why), I have no muscle and am skinny, can I go pic related in 3 months. I want to fuck the shit out of her brains and leave her so she will regret that she broke up with me. also I'm now succesful man so gonna be good bros to dump her

lmao no

>in 3 months
>(I don't know why)
It isn't to fuck you, loser. Probably just wants to get a drink and let you know you need to get tested.

if youre serious youll need roids to do that in 3
have fun with your tiny dick and ex slut

do 600 pushups a day with weight attached to your back

eat 3400 calories a day
eat 2 gallons of milk a day

and you are good to go in 3 months

Fuck her hard buddy

>gentle tab on shoulder

i was obese tier near 250 lbs and no muscles in late october
started going to gym and im fit as fuck, i went daily, and would be there atleast 1-2 hours everyday

im still overweight but girls mirin like crazy right now,

Follow routines from pro boxers. Worked for me, but 3 months is pushing it.

If she dumped you dont even bother hanging out with her. No contact user. Only way to look like that in 3 months is to roid and thata a bad idea considering you havent even done the basics of lifting yet.

>you need to get tested.
What test? tested for what? What? Are you projecting something? what do you mean? HIV test?

Yeah. It's possible. You have to begin with a good caloric surplus right now, more food=more muscle, remember that.

Pick some beginner program and start with a surplus of 1000 to 2000 kcal (a kilogram of muscle holds around 10000 kcal in it, so in the course of three months or 90 days you should gain about 9 to 18 kilograms of muscle).

But you gotta lift at least twice a week.

Take it easy at the beginning, only light weights and few reps, feel free to rest for 2 minutes between sets.

post pics, i really want to see this bullshit lmfao

You'd have better luck if you were/fat/, you'll still be a skinny bitch in 3 months unless you roid

what if I eat 5000 calories a day?

Kys

do intermittent fasting
do upper/lower 4x a week or push pull legs routine with 200cal surplus and u'll be fine.
always end ur muscle group with high intensity high rep exercise.

easy peasy

>My ex-girlfriend is coming back in 3 months to meet me (I don't know why),

>3 months later

>Hi user

>HEY BITCH LONG TIME NO SEE
>RIPPS OFF SHIRT*
>HURR DURR LOOK AT MY BODY BIIIIIAAAATCH THIS IS IT! LET'S F-

>user what are you doing? I need to talk to you

>GET IN THE BED BITCH I'M GONNA FUCK YOU HARD


>LISTEN user I'M PREGNANT

>hurrr durr what?

>runs away like a bitch soyboy

This is the board people come to for genuine advice. Fuck off if you don't like legit info being posted

Lol dubs of hilarity. The way you worded this is just so fucking innocent and childish she’s definitely not coming back to fuck

"1000-2000 cal surplus"

KILL YOURSELF

Seriously applying yourself to PPLx, getting a lot of sleep, and eating a lot of meat will get you close. The extra muscle will help you lean up. Jack off 1 day/week. ONE.

You'd be making OP fat with that advice especially as a beginner.

eat in a 8 hour window around training, fasted cardio every other day, ppl, 500mg test a day

this is literally all you have to do. 200 cal surplus NOT 1k-2k. u dont wanna get fat

oh and eat REAL food, no white bread pizza cupcake mcdonalds crap

brown rice fish veggies nuts avocado chicken. the REAL stuff

also do HIIT 2x a week on offdays

you're not gonna look like your picture in 3 months regardless of what you do, but if you start working out and keep it up for 3 months i'll bet you'll feel more confident which your ex will subconsciously pick up on and will be more likely to fug you

Is it physically even possible to build 3 to 6 kg of muscle in a month?

What? It's easily achievable. You don't think you could fit that much food in?Well he's obviously not going to reach that surplus with extra carbs, this should keep him from gaining fat

Yeah if you follow my program and have decent genetics

you're retarded

and how will he loose all that extra fat from 2k kcal surplus x90 days?!

no?
you can take it or leave it
i do like 100+ reps of everything and youre pussy ass probably does 8 reps of 5 lbs or 50 on the bench press u think thats enough lol

POST HER PICS.

He is bobs and vagene
Not innocent nor 50cent

What fat?
No you

...

250 and fat in May.... perfect diet and 2hrs of gym, 5 days per week

I don't believe an October claim

0/10 not even funny

go hide in /b/ u scumbag

Do you really need to be in good shape to meet your child for the first time?

Fuck man while the body is rather unremarkable i can see why girls would mire you got that lumberjack bod that doesnt intimidate them

perfect diet as in dirty bulking? lmfao

She will care much more about social and life gains than your body. I'm going through a break/breakup rn and the better I tell her I'm doing and the less I care the more she wants me. Just act like you don't give a shit, act like you're having the time of your life and everything is fantastic, fuck the shit out of her, and don't fawn over her like a soyboy and she'll be dripping for you.

>putting in all that effort to maybe fuck her
>not just saying no and doing something else

if you want to meet her for a legit reason then go for it. this is a retarded reason, and has SO much potential to waste 3 months of your life stressing and worrying. want to make her regret it? don't go and do something else that is actually enjoyable to you.

That will be impossible, but you can probably get something.

3 months is enough time for a lot of muscle tearing \ rebuilding, I mean nowhere near that level but you'll have some gains.

You'll need to do 3 things:
>You'll have to eat very well, listen to this guy:
>Have a good routine and go every day of the week (No rest day). Get good form asap.
>Get amazing sleep to make up for no rest day (I would go 9 hours with plenty of protein before\after)

On top of that, do this:

It's literally the easiest way to start getting annoyed by girls from how clingy they are.

>i miss you
aw okay
>please can i see you
nah just need some space
>pleeeaaasse

and etc.