Confess

Confess.

I don't watch my diet, I just buy fat burners (that aren't clen or DNP, it's just green tea cayenne pepper caffeine extracts) and hope for the best

I don't even cardio with it.

im dyel

as in, that's my plan for the cut

I don't know anything about Veeky Forums

Just doing DOMAD and small workout. It's working out, skinny guy gained il his first little muscle

Also in college last month from 7am to 8pm I would have only ate 3 small sandwiches.
Basically starving myself. I know I'm stupid.

I've got gambling problems, not like huge but big enough to fuck with me (currently working on this desu). I also drink way to much and can't handle alcohol because I drink till i pass out.

I'm also mentally unstable and feel like i have some split personality disorders between being loving and a dick. Ive treated my gf like trash for the past year and wonder why she still hangs around.

I'm fucking up my studies because lack of motivation and think I'm starting to get depressed, having suicidal thoughts and hating myself.

I lie way to much and I have a problem when I say I'm gonna do shit and don't follow through. Other than all this shit I'm basically autistic in a normie life since I was pretty popular and lots of girls in my teens. Now it's all so shallow and I hate most people, hate the society, sperg out on personal opinions and so on.

I need fucking therapy Veeky Forums, this board is basically what holds a lot together and if it wasn't for the motivation here to keep lifting, eating right and bettering myself I don't know where I would be today

My NoFap year failed on the 4th of jan. Been masturbaiting everyday since. Everything else is going just fine. No gf but that is normal so i dont mnd. This is my only vice and i cant seem to find a way to get away from it.

started self-harming over a girl.

Started with me running into the woods and punching trees untill my knuckles started bleeding. People asked me why I had injured hands and I had to make up stupid-ass explanations.
Now I usually bite myself until I get blue spots. They go away after 1-3 hours so no one bothers me about them.
Sometimes I try cutting myself with my kitchen knifes but they're all too blunt. Might also be that I'm not pressing full force because I subconciously know it wouldn't make things better and be annoying to deal with.
I also think about killing my self once a week. This has thankfully become less.

I find the image of me lying unconciously/dead in a fetal position on the floor naked while my roommate tries to help me weirdly calming.

I'm aware all this is just attention grabbing crap I do to somehow fill the hole she left me with, but it's pretty hard fighting back sometime. And I still haven't regained any confidence in the future, all my aspirations have been gone for the better half of a year now.

I'm looking to be how I was before I met her but it's incredibly hard and I can't imagine how that would even work in the environment I am in at the moment.

Sorry for the blog post, but it helped writing it all down.

Iktf. I'm not cutting, but I took LSD in hopes of getting over a girl and Jesus Christ did I have a bad trip. Seriously considering suicide and my feelings of infatuation just makes me want to cry.
I feel like I lost the light in my world after that bad trip and I feel like there's no purpose in living knowing that she will never love me.

Like what the fuck is the point knowing she will never share these feelings? Knowing she will never want to sleep naked next to each other knowing that she trusts you. I just want to fucking die.

Sorry for the blog lads. On the bright side, I started lifting again today.