Who else /notgonnamakeit/?

It's taken me a few years, but I've come to the realization I'm not gonna make it. I just don't have what it takes.

In high school I thought I was at least average, but now I'm realizing I only had friends and good grades and went out and did things and enjoyed life because of the circumstances I was in. I did all those things just because I happened to go to school and be surrounded by people.

Now in college, where it's on you alone to do everything for yourself, I realized what a failure I am. I can barely relate to the people around me (I'm in my fourth year), I can barely muster up the energy to even go to classes anymore. I barely have the energy to cook for myself, I can't concentrate when I try to read, I can't keep myself on a consistent gym schedule, I can't make any friends or deep relationships beyond surface level shit. Most mornings I don't even want to get out of bed. I have no interests anymore, I have nothing that drives me. And I let all this happen to myself. There's no coming back from the hole I've dug myself in. Normal, decent people with a good future ahead of them don't allow this to happen to themselves.

Yea I think I'm going to kms in a year or so

The one thing in life I do have I'm on the process to lose it and once that is gone, life is over

>I can't keep myself on a consistent gym schedule
Thank you for including a /fit related sentence, but please just kys and stop posting on this board. Sort yourself out or fucking end it.

>There's no coming back from the hole I've dug myself in.
That's absolutely horeshit and you know it, which is why you came to this board to post it.

First, you're obviously depressed. Go see a psychiatrist and get medication, and while you're at it, you probably need a healthy dose of psychotherapy to sort through the stuff you've been pushing down that's now eating you alive.

Second, when the meds start kicking in and you finally start to laugh again (like a real laugh, not that painful laugh you do when you're depressed where you're just making the sound and forget the feeling two seconds later), some of this stuff will clear itself up. Then you'll have the energy to take the rest of it in small manageable steps a day at a time.

But don't fucking sabatoge yourself because you're depressed. Go get help.

>t former depressed person who dropped out of school and wasted three years of his life

find a passion and a way to fix your depression dude, seeing results in the gym is a good was for me, be consistent for a bit and see what happens

Are you me? I feel exactly the same way, but it's even worse the days I don't lift/exercise. This days are fucking hell, mate, wich is why I'm planning to start lifting every day

your burnt out and probably depressed my dude

i went through the same thing a few years ago. I took a semester off and focused on improving myself. I started lifting and eating right and taking some time to discover what i wanted to do with my life. after the break i returned and had near laser focus, like straight a's basically but i also ha to change majors because i found myself not enjoying what i originally chose

its not gonna work for everyone but if your not going to class anymore youre obviously not interested in what youre learning

also STOP DRINKING ALCOHOL for fucks sake that shit is a motivation killer and worthless for you

Dude if your gonna off yourself do it punisher style and beat some criminals and sudoku
Or
Go zyzz++ take a lot of roids and fuck biches till death in a sauna

I hope you get better bro

Aside from depression, the inability to concentrate when reading and lack of energy might be due to systemic problems in how you operate your basic functions of living. Drink more water, eat better food, get more sleep at more consistent times, check the air quality and cleanliness of your house. If you think you are doing all of these things fine now then still make a close examination of them.
You may also need to change your basic philosophical approach to analyzing your own life. Judge yourself in relation to who you were yesterday instead of in relation to other people. You will likely be more satisfied with progress that you make, which will allow you to continue building yourself up and equalize and exceed your value compared to the people around you. People in their 70s take up hobbies and continue to learn, there are no deadlines for living your life except for death itself.
If you play video games then I recommend quitting because they take up a significant amount of your mental energy while giving very little value in return.
If you don't see a reason for doing any of this, then, and I am saying this because I know it works and I'm not trying to look cool for the crowd of people who hate it with a passion; - browse /pol/ unironically. If you take the high standards set by the men who lived before you to heart then you cannot live without attempting to fulfill them without being a hypocrite.

>go outside
>talk to people

I felt like you my freshman year. I was losing me shit daily over this class. I didn't have any friends cept maybe 2. No gf.

>One day I was walking across campus at like 9:00pm.
>There was a group of people sitting on the lawn smoking hookah.
>I approached them asked if I could join.
>Invited me in.
>Small talk
>then one guy asks me why I look so out of it
>explain
>guy stands up walks over to me and gives me a giant hug
>hung out with those people all night
>when I saw that guy around campus he would always come up to me and give me a big hug and tell me everything was going to be alright
>tfw he was president of the lgbt club on campus

One night outside changed my life. Try it sometime.

I'm in the same spot tonight op. I wanna fucking die. I hate my job, I hate my classes, I hate my family, I hate my life, I hate where I live. But I'm required to maintain it all because of BILLS and MONEY. It would be easier to jump off the 7th floor parking but I haven't. Tomorrow I have to go do more work I hate. I don't even enjoy college I'm too fucking busy and I'm not as naive as some of the fucking students here.

Dont do it brahs. We're all gonna make it. No exceptions

This if sudoku do it like a mad man so you story lives on

I’m already lifting everyday, running once a week. It helps.

everything you described happened to me after the lookism pill was dropped on my ass

That sounds really condescending of that guy and I could never open myself up to strangers like that

you are depressed OP, you are sick

so seek a health care practitioner specialized in mental illness, like a psychiatrist

Same OP except I have a consistant gym schedule. That’s all I’ve got going for me.

yeah but it was gentle and kind
>n-no homo
and it was exactly what I needed
I needed to know that somewhere out there someone gave a shit.
That I mattered to even a single soul.

im 25 and while i have been on a lifting schedule since 2012, i have reached a strength limit.

75kg dumbbell press.
i have used all my supplements in high doses and they do absolutely nothing on strength, only maybe mass gainer protein having a small effect in muscle size, i have been at 210lbs for a year, i dont think my body can do much more.

also aging 25 and forward only has downsides on testosterone and recovery time.

What do you expect to gain from increasing your strength? What is the purpose of you lifting heavier weights?

Eating is the only problem for me.

- Find a good therapist. University usually has free resources.
- "Normal, decent people..." DO allow this to happen to themselves. In grad school, I was in a similar place. The department head and a West Point grad/retired Colonel, confided that he had a nervous breakdown when he was my age.
- Bad things happen to good people. You made the best decision you could at the time, but most of our society is narcissistic, so you are a byproduct of your environment, to some degree. It is not all your fault. Therapy will show you a way out that you cannot even imagine righ now.
- Watch Brene Brown's TEDx videos.
- 'Shoulds" cause shame. Ask yourself where the shoulds come from and if they are still in your best interest, or is it time to change them.
- Bottom line, you are attacking yourself, and that is one the defenses to shame. People are ashamed to talk about their shame, so it feels like you are the only one who feels it. Truth is, EVERYBODY feels shame. The paradox is that shame makes us feel excommunicated and separate from society, but since we all have it, it is part of the human condition, so binds us.
- Most importantly, compassion is the antidote to shame. Watch Kristin Neff's video on self-esteem and self-compassion.

I hope this help. I know where you are because I have been there, too. You are in a tough place right now, but trust me when I say there is hope and you can get better.

Not OP, but therapists in my university sucked massive cock.

I got out of my hole due to myself; those therapists just made things worse, and were extremely unqualified.

Pretty sure they were psych students.

>go to a psychiatrist and get some medication

This poster is a pharma shill don't listen to what he says. Nothing will make you wanna kys faster than the soul stealing effects of ssris.

im not a wizard and i dont steal things. that means i can be either a fighter mma style breaking my own bones or a ruthless undersized barbarian

75kg each hand? dumbbell pressing 165lbs each hand at 210lbs is incredibly impressive and likely pretty much a terminal level of strength

im not human

This my dude
SSRIs rotted my brain

You are probably autistic.

Is that you in the picture? If it is, you don't look bad for a 56%.

Well you're not lying about that part at least

SSRI abilify actually increased my intelligence after i got off them

passive 30% movement speed lol but im ranger or scout my body doesnt resemble a strong dwarf

Kys fucking normie

not gonna make it either. I just work out to spend some time off my computer and pretend I'm doing something productive.

Don't be mean to normans

you should try hiking with a heavily weighted backpack