FUCK MY LIFE INTO PIECES

Go hard as fuck in the gym

Can't die from a barbell falling on you, so might as well bench the pain away

Thanks for the no suicide cheat

Lift and do cardio for 5-6 months and see where it takes me. Prob SS and bike or sum.

>Can't die from a barbell falling on you
stuff.co.nz/world/australia/97445486/australian-boy-dies-after-neck-pinned-while-benchpressing-at-gym

Would you fuck me?

SS until I'm strong then maybe ppl.
You're fucking old but you could look really good by the time you're 30 if you don't fuck up like a weak faggot. Also cut until not fat.

Nice calves tho

3 surgeries for a recurring pilonidal sinus

i was about to legit give you advice but just kill yourself man you're fucked in the head and don't have what it takes

Honestly I'd probably just do pull ups, bench, and shrugs while cutting to keep some muscle for when I'm skinnier

I would do cardio but its cold out

What if I do IF 16/8, eat low carbs, and run 3x a week

...

>what is reading comprehension

The literal only way to fuck up is if you keep shoving food down your gullet

I've been lifting for a year and you have a better physique than me. Quit bitching, faggot.

What mode is this

Did you ask them for the wobbly slice?

There are way worse places to start from friendo. Just lift, focusing on your shoulders to balance out your waist and squats to give yourself an ass. Try and do a little cardio. You'll be amazed at how much difference just a little bit of effort can make.

you are probably way better than 2/3 of ppl on this website

I asked them to kill me but I guess they take some kind of oath. The first two surgeries they just took out a soft ball sized chunk of ass and didnt sew it up, so it could fill in. It takes months, and you have to repack it every day. The third surgery they just sewed my cheeks together.

He's 27. If you're 27 and you look shittier than him, you really need to travel to Tibet and get a monk to bamboozle that suicide spell because fuck you.
I would go hard on SS or SL5x5 for 3-6 months, then graduate to an intermediate and run that for a year. Start doing cardio on rest days. You should be able to sort yourself out before you turn 29. Don't waste a single fucking day, you are seriously on the clock.

I'm 23, I was 340lbs last February.

kek was tl;dr for me

So how does it work, like you cant get fit after a certain point?

lol

No, but your recovery will start to slow down in your thirties and health will become more relevant.

I'll give it to you straight, I think you're mentally very weak. You've obviously put up with this until you're 27, not to mention how you express yourself. You're short and you have very poor bone structure. I'm not sure getting big will do a lot for you. Maybe hard cardio and picking up a social sport is better. If you think I should go fuck myself and you'll lift anyway, your biggest enemies are messing with trusted programs and fuckaroundities. All the best to you.

Muffin man mode

cut then bulk.

Spicy, I like it. I once cut down to 145 at the same height, but this time I'm going to aim for 160, then lean bulk

hahah KYS OP

You look like a regular normie, nothing fundamentally wrong with you besides a bit of a belly and your weird Hank Hill ass.

Don't listen to body-dysmorphic faggots on this board. Eat right, lose fat, lift a bit, you'll be fine.

You also can't complain about having shit genetics if you're white.

Well id wanna kms when id look that fucking disgusting
But since no indirect form of suicide is basically not being able to die id become some sort of a freak that does all sorts of dangerous tricks for money

Yes.
You are beautiful.
You are worthy.
You are gonna make it.

I wouldn't say your body is awful when you consider what the average guy probably looks like, but it is pretty bad for a 27 yo. If you don't change this shit now you will become a genuinely disgusting, no-way-back creature after you hit the big 3-o.

And what you have to do is cut. Eat with moderation, lift heavy and go HIIT, don't go for long low intensity cardio because those wil fuck your test levels and that weird moob formation makes me think you can't afford to lose any testosterone. Go for a Push/Pull/Leg routine that will get you working out 6 times a week. Use something to shave some of that awful chest/belly hair. See a plastic surgeon about that thing on your ass.

Source on cardio lowering test

Test E 500mg wk for 16 weeks, run 3x week, eat at maintenance and do stronglifts 5x5

upper body day every day

Just be yourself

SS with some bodybuilding fluff accessories.
Lower your caloric intake slightly but increase protein and reduce fat.

>6 day/week PPL with HIIT
>Test cycle

You realise this guy is a complete DYEL beginner and needs to learn to walk before he should run?

Dude you have the same body as me. Just build up your arms and your core, particularly your mid back and you'll look fine.
If you've got wide lats and a solid core your hips will disappear and you'll have a legendary adonis belt.
Working up your chest will help spread out that bit of gyno you've got there too so it won't look bad at all.
Dunno what to tell you about that ass but as long as you squad and DL it'll look fine in jeans and it's not like women are gonna be spending too much time back there when you're naked anyway.

Did you have a tail?

THIS IS MY LAST RESORT

i was fatter when i started lifting.. i started by doing cardio and eating massive deficit (1500cals/day) for 6 months and then i was skinny. then i bulked for a year, then cut for 6 months and i was ottermode and had girls swooning. that was a while ago, but honestly even after getting skinny initially i was fine with women and my confidence got pretty good..

I'd fuck me
I'd fuck me HARD

dope. how old were you when you started?

Fret not, OP, I was in the same boat as you. You need to listen well, I want to help you.

Supplements:

>Vitamin D
>Zinc
>Magnesium
>Fish oil
>Olive oil
>Proteinz

Chest:

>Incline, bench, and dips 3x10 each.
>Flyes 3x10
>Every tricep workout you can think of 3x10

Back and biceps

>Deadlifts 3x5 for max weights, 3x10 for medium weights
>Chin ups 3x10
>Pull ups 3x10
>Cable pulls 3x10
>Shrugs 3x10
>Bicep curls, many bicep curls 4x10, do pyramid sets if you have to after your 4x10

Legs and shoulders

>Squats (Front or back) 3x5 for max weight, 3x10 for medium
>Shoulder press 3x10
>Front delt raises 3x10
>Rear delt raises 3x10
>Side delt raises 3x10

Try to add some core excersizes after every workout.

Testosterone:

You may or may not have a varicocele that will inhibit your test production, feel your balls for a lumpy mass, if you have one, then it's a varicocele, go to the doc and tell them it hurts ALOT and they will remove it for you. After the embolization, your test will sky rocket, you life will literally change like mine did.

i dont think i have a varicocele, but i have known about a spermatocele on my left testicle that is almost big enough to be a third testicle since i was in middle school. do those have the same effect?

thanks btw

1 key thing that's very important that I forgot.

In between the days of lifting, try to fit 3 intense sessions of HIIT a week, gruelling uphill shit, the tougher the better.

Do not jog, jogging doesn't do shit, it just lowers your test and makes you look skinny fat, to be absolutely lean, you need to do HIIT.

I'm not too sure, you'll have to do some research on google to see whether it inhibits test levels.

No problem bro, you can do it, it's not hopeless, I look exactly like you once at one point and even worse, was 120 pounds heavier.

Nigga what is the problem here, eat on a deficit and lift. You need to stick to it, that's all.

Fist up ake the wizard if he has a growth spell. Since I'm now a manlet on top of being an overweight peace of shit. I can fix the overweight pace of shit part with heavy cardio and moderate lifting. But I'll never be a glorious 6'5" demigod again.

not him, but how do you tell if you have varicocele? just read about it and holy shit I think I may have it, but I'm not sure

dad bod mode lol

Hey OP, I’m probably getting surgery for my pilonidal disease soon too! Any tips/advice? Fuck this thing

Check those veins that are connected to your testicle, if it feels lumpy and or like a bag or worms, then it's a varicocele.

The surgery sounds pretty gruesome but you're under a numbing agent so you won't feel a thing, they insert a metal wire from your carotid artery in your neck and make their way to that mass on your teste and block it with a titanium coil so it kills the vein and the bloor gets re routed someplace else. It takes a few hours and your out of the hospital to enjoy your new life.

yeah, I have it.
brah, thank you, I have similiar body to OPs and had very low test for a long time and didn't understand why, that explains a lot. gonna book an appointment asap, once again thank you. it's so weird that it appears in 15% of males yet I've never heard about it.

My first two surgeries were the kind where they cut a big chunk out and let it fill back in slowly. That kind of sucks but it doesn't leave you with much of a scar, just a little line down your crack that nobody will ever see. The third and final surgery I got they just sewed the top 2/3 of my ass crack closed, and now it looks all weird. In retrospect, I don't think I needed to do that, for a couple reasons.

This problem is caused by hair and friction, it's basically like an ingrown hair, so the logic behind not having an ass crack is that you don't have your cheeks rubbing against each other anymore, but after healing I had a weird little hole like a belly button, and that had hair growing in it, that ended up leaking blood and puss just like before. So it basically did nothing.

Two things I figured out after all this, is that keeping your whole ass area completely shaved will often reduce or eliminate this, and it goes away at a certain age, as in almost nobody past their late twenties still has one. So first, if you haven't already tried, I would try shaving your ass crack and cheeks and lower back if you're really hairy, taking some warm epsom salt baths, and considering if you're close enough to 30 years old that you would be willing to just tough it out for a little while longer.

If you do go through with it, be aware that these are notoriously recurrent, and you probably won't just have one surgery. If you do the open wound version, you are going to be packing your ass with gauze every day for possibly months. And when you pull out the old gauze, you will be tempted to soak in the bath or shower and let it come out easily, but you actually HAVE to rip it out at least somewhat, because keeping the wound fresh is what allows it to keep filling in the hole with new tissue. And you will have a gaping hole that, in my case I could probably fit my whole fist into, and you will probably need to wear menstrual pads in your boxers or something, because of the various fluids. And you may not be able to sit down for a while, although you may not be able to do that right now.

Cardio and calorie count.
Lift weights to gain some muscle.

How do you get a pyloidal cyst with such a hairless ass ?

Dude his body is hideous.

>5'11"

Damn, what an upgrade.

>5'3 manlet here

>goodbye horeses starts playin

neck yourself x failure

He can't have failed he hasn't even started doing anything yet

WHO tf is taking these pics???