The Correlation between Fitness and Hygiene

Why the FUCK are there still claimed "fitizens" that don't use bidets? Bidets are the first red pill ANYONE should be taking. This is absolutely standard hygiene practice. How can you claim to be Veeky Forums if your hygiene is bad? Half of you here alone are probably squatting with your last shit still smeared all over your sphincters.
>but muh toilet paper
I hope you like smearing your own shit over your ass with wood pulp.
>but muh WET WIPES!!
I hope you like smearing a combo of your own shit and jew chemicals all over your ass. Enjoy having a chapped asshole and clogging your pipes with "flushable" wet wipes.

Truly, there is no substitute for a bidet, and truly, the level of cleanliness you feel once incorporating one is LIFE CHANGING. I can't even use public toilets or friend's toilets because here in the US everyone is Sharty McSwampass and thinks wet wipes are somehow a good substitute or that it's okay to wipe with paper. Tell me, if you stepped in dog shit barefooted, would you be okay with just wiping it off with paper? No? Get a fucking bidet, stop claiming to be red-pilled and fit without one.

The Ceramic Pill is to be taken immediately after taking the Iron Pill.

Also inb4
>just shower when you shit!
not everyone has time to shower/dry off, or has a shower at work, etc.
>Eww! Gross! You mean you spray shitwater all over the place?
You clearly don't know how a bidet works.

There is literally no argument against bidets. Bidets will massively improve your fitness level by allowing you to squat and otherwise exercise in a way that doesn't make you feel like some third-world pajeet.

im not taking water up the ass thats that gay shit lmao miss me nigga

>he thinks bidets are just for shooting water up your asshole
You clearly don't know how a bidet works. Enjoy getting your filthy swamp ass all over the benches.

how do you dry your ass after its been washed?

i literally hold my poop until i can find toilet with a bidet

Some models have air dryers.
Otherwise with toilet paper or other cloth. You're not wiping directly your asshole though like with toilet paper = avoid hemorrhoids
My man. Isn't it fucking gross when you have to shit and then walk around with a nasty ass?

>not just eating raw animal products
You basically stop having to shit at all

Dude just how much shit ends up on your outer asshole? Most of the time I don't even have a mark but I wipe just to make sure.

Are you some sort of DYEL who's ass cheek is firmly pressed shut around your asshole when you try to shit, and your diet is so shit it comes out as a slurry?

Fix your diet first.

A bidet is good though but it shouldn't be fucking life changing.

How do you even use these? Wouldn’t your ass be wet and full of shit after?

Doesn't matter, when you do shit you will remain disgusting until you find a bidet or shower.
It's not only for removing shit that you just shat, but also for helping with swamp ass, or if you have diarrhea, or even for women on their period. Everyone can benefit.
You dry it off, or it blow-dries you on the higher end models. The particles of shit are washed down the drain. Also the higher end models have warm water, pulsating functions, heated seats, etc.

if you wipe you're ass you're lowkey fingering yourself
how does this make you feel?

> (You)
>It's not only for removing shit that you just shat, but also for helping with swamp ass, or if you have diarrhea, or even for women on their period. Everyone can benefit.

I don't know what SWAMP ass is but women with period, shit you are like JC or Moses bringing down the commandments.

Swamp ass is when you walk around with a humid, gross, shit-smelling asshole. More typical in humid climates where people wear too much fabric, preventing their ass from "breathing".
See: Shart Central, aka Southeast US

>t. american

i bet you wear shoes in bed.

>turn right knob for water
>turn left knob for bacon

Perfect, so I can enjoy some delicious chow while washing the turd cutter

eksdee DAE 9gag? kekek!!!11one

this is how you incorporate a bidet.

1) wipe normally using toilet paper
2) use the bidet
3) wipe again with toilet paper

its like washing your hands but its your anus instead

just wet the toilet paper a little, you fucking dingus.

i've lived through multiple 30 deg celcius humid summers without EVER experiencing swamp ass because i time my shits before my showers.

with what if youre in a public stall? the toilet water you just shat into? pajeet is that you?

>wipe normally first
pointless and it will lead to a nice dry/chapped ass
So basically, a wet wipe that disintegrates and leaves little paper fibers all over your ass? Same as a wet wipe, you're smearing your own shit over your ass. You might be diluting it but it's still there and you will smell like shit.
Also good but not for everyone as we all don't shit at the same time. Swamp ass really isn't just about shit, but just being humid in general.

Who gives a shit about how ppl wash their goddamn ass

I wash my ass in the shower always and shower between once and thrice a day depending on how often I have sex/workout

As if the only benefit to a bidet is to other people.
Because I don't want to smell your ass wafting from a mile away nor do I want to smell you on the gym equipment.
I wouldn't wish an un-bidet'd ass on even my worst enemies.

Feels good living in a country that took the bidet-pill. I've never used toilet paper once in my life. Fucking retarded amerimutt invention.

>or other cloth.
And what do you do with that 'other cloth' ? Also toilet paper or water you cant clean shit and the smell with water alone without soap. I know people who use bidets because a unpleasant watery shit smell follows them. Somehow most people who use toiler paper alone dont smell like shit

Fucking kek!

>what do you do
throw it away, in a bin, or if it's biodegradable into the toilet. It doesn't have shit on it, only water, so it doesn't smell.
>unpleasant watery shit smell
>he hasn't heard of toilet water, another thing ameriburgers have yet to discover yet try to emulate with perfume

Taking a shit atm, gonna use this baby in a sec

My man. What country? That shit is glorious.

So you dont clean the smell you just mask it with "toilet water"

i was on your side but now i cannot agree with you

>not wiping first

you are mixing water and shit which is spreading down your taint and spraying bacteria everywhere. the point of showering after shitting is that simply farting sprays a fine mist of shit particles and bacteria everywhere. when you shit, you fart and also experience splashback all over your crotch and ass which needs to be cleaned with soap and water if you aren't an indian. if you only have access to a bidet, the best way to minimize shit mixing with water and spraying everywhere is to wipe first, THEN use the bidet. also shit isn't even water soluble, if you just use a bidet your no better than a street shitter. wiping first also minimizes covering the bidet in shit and bacteria which is reasoning for not using a public bidet if people in your country do like you and just spray their shit covered hairy asses with a stream of water.

using a bidet only will also cause pilonidal cysts because your getting dilute shit water all into your pores and ass hair, eliminating the point of using a bidet in the first place.

WIPE FIRST, THEN USE THE BIDET

t. germaphobe

Poland

I do this

Well, not everyone has the "water smell"... maybe if they leave immediately after using the bidet, so it's a non-issue really.
Fair point. Wipe (gently) -> bidet -> pat dry with other cloth
Fuck, Poland looks like the best location for the ethnostate more and more every day.

I browse reddit and 9gag and can bench 4pl8s, u mad?

>wipe (gently)
yes i can agree with this, this satisfies my autism

this, high test post

>t. nasty ass

nigga just take a shower, looks like you are a pajeet

We already covered this.
Not everyone has time for a shower/dry off after every shit and not everyone has a shower at their workplace.

>LIFE CHANGING
>I can't even use public toilets or friend's toilets

Sure sounds life changing.

>because here in the US
Then fuck off back to your shithole where you wash your ass, but somehow everything is still backwards.

get lost showerlet, it takes 15 min max, do it at home, looks like you are making excuses just to feelt water in your ass
you are gay

>15 min max
lmao t. woman, it takes MAX 5 minutes. you just take off your clothes, wet your anus, taint, balls and lather up then rinse off. you aren't wetting your hair and the entirety of your upper body.

>taking a shower

>you aren't wetting your hair
Are you sure that you are not a woman?

do you have a dedicated taint towel? do you wash it after every use? you know, in case you missed a bit and now have fecal matter on it?

>washing your ass after a shit
>wetting the top of your head
???

the current state of Veeky Forums

Because it's so fucking gross to walk around with a dirty ass
I was born in the US. How my fellow burgers haven't caught on is beyond me. We are living in the stone ages.
Again, not everyone has shower access when they are out. Do you get it or do you want me to write it in caps?

I only ever shit at home and now I've got a hemorrhoid the size of an engorged kidney bean right next to my asshole.

no the biggest "redpill" ive swallowed
is meditation and cold showers
i shit every morn and cold shower after
fuck your bidet

how often do you meditate? what are the gains?

i meditate most days , ive done so for around 2 years . but recently i started the cold showers.
better able to handle stress
but the sleep as of late is the best !
try the cold
30 seconds front and then back
then you can wash up with warm water
finish the shower cold at least 2 min
see if you can go longer

>not taking only cold showers
A mere facade by comparison.

>I was born in the US
>Not I am American
Where are your parents from, la creatura?

I am American. Parents are German/Scottish. Blond hair, blue eyes, ivory skin master race.

Dirt and shit scrubs off better with warm water.

>Scott
>Moaning about a dirty arse
Don't lie, you soyboy faggot.

I just hang by ass from a bath since i was like 4 and wash it. Up until then every time mom tried wiping jew on me I screamed like a Nazgul forcing her to wash my ass properly. No bidet cause no place in ruzkecommieblock. t.Bigboy

Just talking genetically, I have no attachment to scotland or germany personally. In reality I am 100% mutt.

It also dries your skin and fries your sperm. The first form of birth control was to dip your nads in warm/hot water.
You could just scrub with a cloth/sponge though.

You know there are bidet attachments for a standard toilet right? Must be worth looking into

i no longer turn the water temp up to hot only to warm for the washing . then back to cold for at least 2 minutes.
bros this is not meme , cold showers are great for you !

>tfw haven't reached Ascended Arctic Camel yet

a bidet isn't going to help you worth shit in a public stall, asshole