Coworkers talking about health & fitness

>detoxify

instagram name?

he's a ''''''''''friend'''''''''' so don't want to deal with the bullshit. He's a fucking tool and I've come to accept it

>Dyel friend keeps throwing in his two cents about what I do
>"A gallon of milk a day? That can't be healthy."
>"Preworkout? That shit will kill you if you use it every day."
>"No one should drink that much coffee."
>"You are eating way too much."
God I get tired of it man. I've never posed to be an expert but this fag can't even bench 1pl8.

>I've been doing yoga so I should be in better shape soon

... T H I C C fwb hit me with that one the other day

Also what's a basic routine to suggest? Bodyweight squats and selfies x failure?

I just tell people to follow their heart

>what routine shoul
Follow your heart
>how much protein sh..
Just follow your heart dude
>today is so nice. I
Follow your heart

>eat a protein bar at the beginning of the shift
>eat a couple hardboiled eggs and a banana
>eat a salad later on
>eat a small microwave meal with chicken/steak later
>eat a yogurt an hour later
>day shift comes in
>heat up some vegetables
>WOW ARE YOU A VEGETARIAN OR SOMETHING, WHY DIDN'T ANYONE FINISH OFF THIS PIZZA?

Oh yeah, and someone keeps buying a small tub of cheeto balls. Yesterday it was full, nobody on our shift touched it. Today its nearly empty.

>be vegan
>co worker asks what meat is in your curry

its clearly chickpeas and lentils you dumb cunt

>thicc girls fighting against their god tier fat distribution genetics
Was there ever a bigger crime to commit?

>Coworkers talking about diet
Yeah m-me t-too

>I started to workout too, just like you!
>I do 10 differetn exercises a workout, each for 3 sets with 25 reps!
>I can shoulderpress 10kg now!

>"hey user let's go for a run at the park"
>but muh gainz
>give some autistic reason why i can't

>youngest in office (24)
>coworkers work out but it's mostly jumping on the step ladder thing and work with PT's
>they made absolutely no gains while I gained almost 20kg in 1yr8months (6'3 190lb now)
>I keep my mouth shut and stay out of gym discussions any way I can
>they tell me my gains are so good because I'm still young and I'm male bla bla

Little did they know I spent the first year eating until I felt like vomiting, then eating some more. And I still do.

That's wholesome user

>you know, when you get older you gain more weight by eating the same foods!

>tool
Ex bf you fucks you on a low?

Nothing wrong with 10 exercises per workout.
Some people need to figure out that SS is just a meme.

I myself do 5 exercises, but 10 for 75 reps is just stupid

>yeah bro u gotta hit all the bicep angles breh! One exercise isn’t enough!
Faggot

>that 350lb guy at work that tells me my energy drinks aren't healthy for me

Lmao I used to know a guy like that. He used to be lean af, I was even jealous of his body, but he got fat after a summer of protein shakes and no exercise.

>coworker that's trying to be a bodybuilder
>lifts 2 hours a day at an expensive olympic gym
>diet consists of Mac and cheese, granola bars, trail mix, apples, etc.
>nowhere near a calorie surplus, macros must be even more pathetic
>body hasn't changed at all since I met him a year ago
>he's wasting his life making no progress
Honestly it's just sad at this point but he's kind of a douche so whatever, not my problem

Some truth to that since your metabolism slows down significantly when you don't grow anymore

>Why are you eating oats? Are you on a diet?

But that's true user

...

My old manager said this, then when I left he started dating a girl in the office that I had already fucked

Makes me chuckle

i know this feel
i fucking hate having to make yourself eat so much that you literally feel sick

>She just started lifting and running again
>He just built a home gym

Me getting mogged by Andrew when he actually calls her out

>user, that looks so good, what meat is that in your curry?
>"I'M A VEGAN REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

I had a PT say this to me once. I literally rolled my eyes at him.

>someone on Veeky Forums actually fell for the gomad meme

let me tell you how I know you dont bench 2pl8...

>toxins

>to activate your metabolism you gotta eat at certain times and workout at certain others!
>no, the only way to increase metabolism long term is not to increase lean body mass.. there are others like eating certain foods.
Why are normies so fucking retarded with the Metabolism®

Thicc is code word for fat

I hear them all talking about losing weight and how it’s so hard.
Nigga just eat less I’ve cut 20 pounds in 2 months but no one asks me for advice because they don’t want to hear the truth

>Co-worker who eats nothing but fast food and never goes to the gym trying to lecture me on protein drinks, creatine, and pre-workout being bad for me

Here's a fun study I like to have bookmarked in my Veeky Forums studies folder

Eating less food decreases your metabolic rate
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3661473

desu most toxins do get stored in fat. For example with weed, the THC gets stored there and can be up to months.
And when you workout the breaking of cells and the compounds created releases substances that in combination of others could become toxic. Thats one of the reasonings behind DOMS and being fucked up after weeks of heavy overreaching.

But what she is saying is retarded anyway for a normal person just drinking would be sufficient for it to go away the next day.

>fat coworkers talking about trying to get healthy
>I would love to spend more time exercising but I don't have time, hey by the way did you catch the new netflix show?
>I was gunna take my kids to the park and play with them but it was too muddy
>hey female coworker can I bum a smoke? I swear I'm gunna quit soon (happens like 3-4 times a day)
>yeah I bought me and my wife one of those exercise bikes so you can get on it for like 15 minutes after work
>I should really stop eating so much *opens a tastycake package AGAIN*
>something about soy, not even joking
I fucking hate normie coworkers

Every time
>Check it out, ground beef is on sale for $3 a pound

>never going off pwo and downing severdig pots of coffe a day

Muh heart

I had that type of shit when I stated dropping weight (was a MASSIVE fat arse after bad relationship and losing the will to live) and yeah, I ignored them, followed the advice on here and have dropped 100lbs in the last two years and got fitter and a good deal stronger than every single one of them.

Now they want my advice and are all respectful and shit. I sense a bit of hate as well from a few of them.

This pleases me.

Well duh everyone knows this

>Roommate starts talking about fitness

Congrats my guy. People are weird, they always have an opinion even if they have no clue what they're talking about.

Another funny anecdote about this co-worker is that a buddy of mine went to the gym with him once and he basically hurt himself trying to squat what my buddy was (buddy is like 6' 4' and 220lbs, basically born to be strong that lucky fuck) squatting. And afterwards he made my friend stop at Mcdonalds to grab something to eat.

Usually people like when others start talking about something they enjoy and know a lot about, not only because it's a fun conversation to have, but also because you can come off as knowledgeable and increase your social value.

Only in Veeky Forums this is a rage-inducing experience, and I suspect it's because 1. None of you can actually explain why those things you've memearrow'd are wrong, you only know they are because someone here said it, so when you try to talk about fitness you realize you're an inarticulate trend follower who knows nothing of training theory and anatomy and 2. You're socially retarded

Being the guy who knows the most about this shit in your circle feels great too. Raise your game brainlets

>Want to take my dieting serious
>Coworkers can't fucking deal with the fact that I want to lose weight and be healthier
>God forbid I ever tell them I plan to starting working out (currently I just do bodyweight workout at home).
It's like they must put you down in order to feel good with the fact that they're lazy.

>le i am smart meme

>being non hwhite

Careful with that edge, son.

this is unironically better than fat fucks doing ss with no hypertrophy

>hey stacey, go mention something about soy to user again
>teehee his face goes so red
>yeah haha why does it make him so mad

>friends start talking about health and fitness

whenever this happens I just hit them with the most autistic Veeky Forums memes.

best case they actually believe me (even though I'm DYEL af I'm still the fittest in the group) and from there on out are convinced that my gains come from drinking onion/oat/activated-almonds-drinks all day or worst case we have a good laugh

>gallon of milk

>Telling anything.
First mistake.

The only people who want to hear about the gym is people who lift regularly.

>at gym today
>deadlifting a bit over lmao2pl8
>multiple people comment on how it's a lot of weight and to be careful
i know i should always be careful, but I don't think it's that much

>in kitchen, eating lunch
>colleague
>"yeah so i got a PB at crossf-"
>i'm back at my fucking desk in nanoseconds

Most DYELs will resort to mixed grip on just 2pl8 user, you're doing pretty good by their standards.

>made mistake of telling a coworker I only do one meal a day
>word spreads and people constantly telling me that's unhealthy despite clearly noticing I lost 180lb over the past couple years
>YOU DONT NEED TO DO THAT ANYMORE user

bitch im still overweight

>tter shape soon

for what purpose?

...

Just how weak is the average normie

>I can't wait til this diets over so I can bulk again
>user why not just stay the same weight

>Doing IF
>user are you starving yourself
>user you have to eat little and often that's what my slimming world said

>That aspertame is going to kill you
>From my 300+lb coworker who's just polished off her third mars bar of the day

Also my manager made me put my milk in the fridge and keep going to fill a cup
Like why tf can't I just keep the jug at my desk to drink out of
Women in the workplace was a mistake they're all neurotic

No it's because when I try to explain why things are the way they are their eyes glaze over and then they just parrot the same mumscience at me

It's like when people try and argue against global warming by going BUT ITS COLD TODAY and then giving you a smug look as if they've just made some brilliant point

The truth is people just want to talk about fitness or dieting because that gives them the feeling that they really put effort in today and they deserve a McDonald's as a reward on the way home

>thinks 2pl8 is an accomplishment
Hello dyel

can this sort of shit be banned?

>Guy takes Creatine but just watches TV

What was it?

>eating sushi for lunch
>hamplanet 1 and hamplanet 2 approach
>we're now in orbit
>I order sushi platter like 32 pieces of sushi
>hamplanet 1 looks at me like I'm disgusting
>hamplanets order 2 appetizers, each get a giant salad, each get lunch and eat get a dessert
>they talk about how they both started eating salad but they just can't seem to lose any weight
>I ate my food as fast as I could and ran out of the place bursting out laughing
>boss paid
>he came out snickering
>we laughed all the way to the job

>>we're now in orbit

>Be at weekend long lifeguard training
>Have my shirt off most of the time cause we work at a pool obviously
>Gains are shown
>Feats of strength are done
>Show up the next day
>Chatting with my manager and the other guards while eating my homemade breakfast sandwich
>Manager makes a comment about how I'm "The team's old spice guy" and how "I wouldn't want to get a tater tot on my abs" in reference the healthy meals I bring in.
>Tater tot on my abs
what did he mean by this?

>Salad, lunch and dessert
>Not just a salad
>Not realizing sushi is mostly raw fish, meaning loadsa protein and healthy fats
Fucking hamplanets man.

>tfw tried dirty bulkin, clean bulkin, gomad
>still couldnt gain weight

Define a toxin
Protip. YOU FUCKING CANT ITS NOT AN ACTUAL BIOLOGICAL TERM YOU DENSE FUCKER

They gotta n

I don't need to explain shit if i'm a big guy for them.

Toxin is a term used by new age faggots who waste most of their money on direct-sale bullshit but don't take the effort to eat clean and exercise regularly. I agree with you, I hate these niggers spouting their "toxins" bullshit.

Cheers man. Yeah kinda funny really. I work retail and had one customer who had diabetes always telling me that I'd put the weight back on (I had type 2 for less than a year, it was the kick up the arse along with becoming single that got me shedding the weight) anyway, obviously pissed off that I'd lost all the weight and got rid of the T2 - he then starts ranting about how its his doctors fault that he's fat because he makes him inject insulin..and (get this..) because insulin is made from pig fat, that's why he's fat. I fucking kid you not.

Bright side to the story is a week later I catch him walking in with a fucking cake telling my colleague how he got it for 50p reduced from the local Coop and I just tore into him basically telling him that if he keeps eating whole fucking cakes, then it's no surprise he hasn't shifted the weight or the diabetes. I wouldn't normaly be a cunt for no reason, but after the self-pitying bullshit he was preaching I just couldn't help myself. I swear to God, some people are worryingly stupid.

you should bring in 2lbs of tater tots and eat them in front of him.

I just came back from the gym with disgust.
>Be skinny but strong faggot
>Be deadlifting 185lbs
>Bunch of chubby shitskins doing meme exercises
>"Oyy bro, thas too heavy mane, go easy on it"
> They Proceed to unload the bar
>"Here, you're supposed to go not too heavy"
>He proceeds to dl 100 lbs with horrible snap city form for 15 reps
>I add the plates back
Why do they feel like they're the gym instructors? Just fuck off and let me diddly.

>eating my beans onion ground beef mixture with broccoli
>WOW ARE YOU ON NO CARB IS THAT CALLED KETTLE?
>no the beans ar-
>BEANS ARE A PROTEIN
>actually they have mostly carbs and lots of fiber you shoul-
> WHY DONT YOU EAT THAT ON A TORTILLA

>strong
>185 lb DL
what did he mean by this

>toxin
>not an actual biological term
Not in the sense they're using it, but you just went full retard nonetheless.

how does one obtain a fwb