Cant use my 24 hour gym anymore because a pack of coyotes has taken up residence outside

Run them over with your car

You know what to do

>Not following in the footsteps of Based God Rick

Ever heard of roman candles?

Keep a few in your trunk inside an ammo tin with a lighter.

>see yote
>grab romie
>seize the carp

Lolthrow those popping things at them

You must appease them with red meat if you want to use the gym, once you have made it they will accept you as their leader.

>let coyotes chase you for dat cardio and elevated adrenaline
>cardio done (it’s cutting season anyways)
>do 1000 lbs diddy cuz of that adrenaline rush

What can go wrong?

>Go to squat rack
>Every rack taken up by coyotes doing curls
>Go to barbells
>Coyotes put them back on the rack at random
>Go to bench
>Male coyotes howling and growling while they bench bitch weights with shit form for obviously bored coyote thots
Fuckin coyotes, man

seems there's a simple solution, call the cops with an emergency status and have them put the animals down, and if they don't come within the hour grab a gun and murder the fuckers cold-blooded. Honestly, the latter will give you an adrenaline rush so big, you'll 4/5/6/7 for the rest of your life.

Dude, coyotes are bitches. Literally just run at them screaming. If they dont run away from you, and they stand their ground, just give them a solid punt and the rest of them will fuck off for good. I kicked a coyote so hard one time for eating my chickens, its fucking back snapped in half. I had to snap its neck to put it out of its misery.

I'm having flashbacks to
>since the wolves goy in

Very few people in my state own a gun. It's hard to get one here.

This is the kind of content I lurk Veeky Forums for.

Alright anons, lets actually try to help OP solve his problem.

OP, is the gym cutting its hours because it doesn't want people being around coyotes? Or is it that you can't be arsed to deal with them on your way to the gym?

If it's the latter, your situation is clearly a risk/reward scenario. I ask you this: Does the risk of being mauled by rabid coyotes outweigh the reward of going to the gym in the wee hours of the night? If the answer is yes, then either go during the day or accept that you are never going to make it.

Another user mentioned using those pop rocks things to throw at the ground and startle them away. That might work if you don't want to just go ahead and shoot them. BUT I think it might help to alert the staff and/or town animal control unit to take care of the problem.

...

Run them over in your car idiot

...

Have you seen a coyote irl dude? They're 30lb rats, kick them and move on.

If you said grizzlys or mountain lions and you had a secluded walk through the woods to lift I'd understand. Just go during daylight.

how long does it take to get out of your car and walk into the gym? It's not like the fuckers are chasing you across the lot. OP being too pussy to head to the gym because he's getting bullied by buff coyotes who laugh at him and steal his gains

My sides. Somebody needs to make a cartoon pic of this

The one just chilling in the middle of the road was medium sized. The bigger ones are in the parking lot (on the right) but I didn't want to move my dashcam while driving and I didn't want to deal with them.

>been posting here for 7 hours
why aren't you in bed yet for school/work?

I'm still amped up from seeing the coyote.

lmfao its just a coyote
just make a racket and itll leave

lmao what state? you seriously never see wild animals and are afraid of a lil fucking yipdog?

Holy shit lmao did you grow up in he heart of New York or some shit? I have coyotes in my neighborhood.
If you're really that afraid of them, just drive up honking with your brights on. Coyotes are some of the biggest bitches in nature.

I live in New England we don't see them a lot here except when stupid people feed them

>challenge coyotes pack leader
>win
>have coyote pack follow you around everywhere you go

>challenge coyote pack leader
>lose
>get torn to shreds

JUST BODYSLAM THEM

t. /out/

that's an elbow drop

t. /woo/

Idk if this thread is epic enough but if it is, add me in the screen cap.

This man is literally being cucked by coyotes. Ive been on this board for years and have never heard of anything like this before

Baseball bat
Guns
Cars
Come on man use that big ol brain you homosapien

Just shoot them, you faggot.

Pepper spray

They will soon associate that area with it and won't be back for quite some time

Only one thing to do

BODY SLAM
O
D
Y

S
L
A
M

That's meant for wolves, dummy. Coyote's are toy dog version of wolf.

Grow a pair OP.

>don't run when you haze them
damn that coyote drank the whole keg and is still standing.

I grew up in CT, coyotes were the least of my worries. Cougars and bears all the time. You just yell at them and they run away. How are you this much of a pussy?

fuckin kek underrated

fight the coyotes idiot what are you talking about?

>>Rhode Island

ahh, it makes sense now.

Dude you should be able to punt coyotes one at a time. All they're going to do in the worst case scenario is watch you from a distance and gauge how scared and vulnerable you are. Don't run. You're fine.

>he doesn't fight coyotes for cardio after his workout
uhhhh user????

Must be from California, or else you'd be wrong

Use your second amendment rights and shoot those cunts. Or are you a spineless faggot who gets ptsd from seeing a gun?

>t. someone who has never heard of maryland or new jersey

This reminds me

>not obtaining a weapon illegally

>owning "legal" firearms
SHALL

Buy a machete at Walmart and start leveling up your skinning skill. They are fucking wild dogs and you are a man. We are evolved.