How do I avoid wiping a marker after I take a shit?

How do I avoid wiping a marker after I take a shit?

well, what do you eat? start there

are you talking about skid marks? wipe away the majority of the BM with dry toilet paper, then wipe with damp toilet paper until you can feel the ridges of your anus through the paper, then dry again. check yourself in the mirror. clean inwards as well so nothing creeps out. clean bum bum errytime

I eat pretty healthy actually. My asshole is as hairy as an Indian woman, maybe I should shave it?

No, I don’t get skid marks. I meant having to wipe vigourously for an hour until the shit is gone.

What's pretty healthy? Are your shits unpleasant or is it just the wiping that's bothering you?

USE A BIDET YOU FUCKING SUBHUMAN SWAMPASSES
TO THINK THERE ARE PEOPLE WITH INTERNET ACCESS WHO DON'T USE A BIDET (BASIC FUCKING HYGIENE)
EVEN PAJEET WASHES HIS ASS WITH WATER
FUCKING REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee

Don't shave it, just trim it. I promise you'll regret a shaved asshole almost immediately and it's hell growing back.

Use a bidet bottle. Or make one. Get a water bottle (one that is sturdy enough for multiple squeezings), poke a little hole at the top. Fill bottle with water. Voila, bidet.

>wipe vigourously for an hour
what the actual h*ck

...

Not a single person has posted anything helpful yet. The answer is simply that you are not eating enough fiber. Eat more of that, and this will stop.

I eat 14g of fiber per 1,000 calories tho. I think that’s the recommended amount.

anything except a real bidet is kinda budget and girls will think i'm weird

Ratio of insoluble/soluble could be off. Also, do you have a lot of sugar in your diet? Consider psyllium for wipe-free shits. 1tbsp each day divided in to 2 servings between meals. That's helped me.

This, they are $20 on Amazon and take 5 minutes to install. Why doesn't everyone have one of these?

I usually start wiping after the poo is in the loo and out of my ass.
It's anecdotal experience, but maybe you should give it a try instead of wiping your entire log away layer by layer.

Because Sharty McSwampass would rather spent his money on McDonald's

>Shitwater splashes all around the toilet
>Shitwater runs down my ballsack

I'll continue to use flushable wipes

That's shit.

You are supossed to wash with water AND soap each time you shit.

It's disturbing to think that you guys don't have something to wash all the shit in your ass hair, most of you must smell like crap holy shit. Move to a country that uses bidets ffs.

>has no idea how bidets work and obviously hasn't used one
They don't work like you're imagining they do, kid.
But please enjoy your chapped asshole from wiping jew chemicals and your own shit all over your ass. Also, the wipes fuck up plumbing, please stop flushing them as they are not flushable.

because stuff touching your butthole is GAY

I feel you, bro. Same here sometimes. It's like trying to wipe away a crayon one swipe at a time or something.
Yet other times they come out in nicely formed, somewhat, slick separate packets where you hardly even have to wipe.

My experience suggests the opposite, actually. Less roughage / more protein = more solid, discrete packets, which exit cleanly.

Wrap your finger in toilet paper and stick it in. Works every time.

>wiping a marker

wtf? how does everyone know what the fuck this is?

why don't americans know how to wipe their ass?

The cheapest and most life improving supplement I have ever bought is psyllium husk. Either drink it or get it in capsules if you can't manage it. Hairy ass but often only 1 wipe and I am quite thorough.

Europeans are more likely to not wipe properly because we have EU water saving toilets which cannot flush very much tissue at one time. These same regulations come from people who have an entire plumbed in sink and tap to wash their arse with. Fuck Europe seriously.

I probably got close to 10 toilets blocked from my BRAAAPS during highschool

How am I supposed to install this on my office toilet?

KEK

leave a note to HR asking them to get it installed

can confirm. moved to US from shithole, thought my people smelled bad, until i smelled americans, didn't know why especially considering there's soap and tp everywhere. It was only when I first took a shit in a public bathroom that it made sense.

>bidet-comeback-1