How can I bullshit a letter of recommendation for college?

Intermittently suicidal 23 year old NEET here attempting to return to college this spring. I received an AA from community college a few years ago and am hoping to study bioengineering at a third rate university. I need a letter of recommendation that I can submit by Friday. They want me to provide an email for the recommender and they'll send them a submission link.

Professors are out of the question. Was always the quiet autist in back of the room, and I graduated 3 years ago. I could do an employer but ideally they want someone with knowledge of my academic ability.

Either way there's no one I can ask who will respond in this time frame so I need to bullshit this.

If it's going to be academic I can buy a .edu email. This is a shit tier university, so the association isn't that important. If I claim to be a professor though, well that's very easy to google.

Someone give me ideas for the relationship I craft up.

If you have academic connections, or something else that could help, I'll pay you whatever the hell you want. I've been rotting at home for far too long.

Academic advisor?
That info will probably be harder to google.

you can't have family or a coworker write the letter?

just tell them you have a preferred set of pronouns and that you are getting the dick cut off, admissions directors eat that shit up

if they don't let you in you are triggered etc

Good idea. Problem is that when you buy .edu emails I'm guessing it's for some random college. It would have to match my past academic history, no?

is this acceptable for a college? I can write the letter myself and it would be very well tempered. Just not sure what type of association to use.

kek. It's a stemcel school though. No gender studies

when I went back to school last year and needed a letter I just asked a coworker I was friendly with to write me one and clearly it was fine since I got in

might just want to do this

holy shit. That's IT?

that?

I've been stressing about this shit for weeks wtf.

What was the acceptance rate at your school? Mine's like 65%

I wrote a letter of rec. for a friend and just claimed he worked for me for years and was trustworthy etc. He was accepted into the schools program

41%

I’ll write you one if you want :)

What’s it for? I’m a product manager in silicon valley, would exchange for some crypto knowledge.

damn thanks so much I feel a lot better about this now.

Do you remember though if your school asked for a general letter of recommendation or if they preferred something academic related? My school wants something from an academic source, but when I spoke to some intern at admissions they said employer would be fine.

An employer/manager/coworker would be totally fine. Many skills that make someone a good employee carry over into being a good student, and vice versa. Try not to fake it if possible.

Grades are a lot more important than letters of recommendation man. Especially at a third rate uni they really won't give a shit. If you have shit grades though make sure the letter looks good.

I can provide you with bitcoin, eth, or some of the insight I've gathered after trading for hundreds of hours. From 3k to 40k.

my transcript is pretty damn rough honestly. GPA is around 2.91 IIRC, and they of course want a 3.0 minimum. But I have completed many high level math + physics courses which hopefully compensates a bit.

I'd like to send my SAT score from high school which was quite high but it wouldn't get there by Friday I don't think.

>SAT score from high school
What was it?

Pretty sure you can send it and it would get there by Friday. It's worth a shot.

1950. Nothing crazy but the average score for the school in question is 1625

college lecturer here.

Is there any class you really succeeded in or did particularly interesting coursework you can remember?

I always write letters of references for students I don't remember/vaguely know.

If got a good mark or sounded enthusiastic about what they learned Im happy too.

Thanks I think I will pay the fee to have it sent. Now that I look at the admissions page, Friday is the priority deadline. They don't explicitly state that applications won't be considered after that date. Plus it's just one supporting document. Should be alright.

user, if you're serious, make a throw away email account, post it, and I'll be in touch.

t. Admissionsfag at a Uni

As a college student. Fuck you
Tell the financial aid office to fuck themselves too

yes I thoroughly enjoyed both a philosophy and bioethics course I took 3 years ago. The professor was very laid back and took a liking to my style of work. At the end of the semester he suggested I just ask him should I ever need a letter of recommendation.

Well I remembered this as I was applying to school this past semester. I reached out to him. Although I did feel bad because I never spoke to him again after that course ended. It seemed rather needy. But he agreed to write it. And then commonapp had a database fuck up and the letter was lost.

I'd hate to have him write it again.

[email protected]

fuck it's 73 bucks for old SAT score with expedited shipping

Sorry not sorry faggot.

I got my shit for free on military GI Gibs. Now I'm 29 and waiting to see what Crypto does next spring before I pull out of normiecucking and retire. Only need 50K more.

If you're young and American join the military. I was in the Marine Corps, It was super easy, I got paid really well, I have gibs for life, American Normies suck my dick for getting paid with their taxes and chilling out in Japan/Afghan for 6 years while they compiled debt. People are either the most extreme normie Chad-wannabes, or hardcore autist psychopaths in my experience. It was a fun thing to do in your early 20s.

Also you get free housing and free electric so you can mine a shitton of Crypto at no cost other than your rig.

Sure give me a throwaway email and I’ll contact you

[email protected]

surely there is a service that fakes these things