This is what my wizard looks like

>This is what my wizard looks like

Immediate no to player

...

Okay...but I suggest more cloths in town unless you want to get propositioned every 3 steps.

hey we don't have to look at it, as long as you don't derail the game with your shitty waifu posturing we're happy.

...Fine, I guess. If she dresses like that all the time it might warrant a Quirk of some kind, but besides that whatever.

She does. She's a whore wizard. Just to pay her way through magic school.

you could make a lot more money AND keep your dignity by charging people to do magic shit they need done.

she cast a spell on me already

You're dying of hypothermia, wat do?

>Craig, we told you this campaign took place in literally the coldest hospitable place in the setting. And no "magic" isn't the answer, that's not how magic works in this setting. God fucking dammit, Craig.

Looks like he's playing with portals.

Guess what magic shit they want done?

>Make yourself look like my ex while we fuck!
>Make my orgasms better!
>Make me a magically flavored dinner... while naked!

random schmoe peasants you meet on the street can afford that shit?

Fuck off, we told you we're not playing with you anymore if you keep pulling this horseshit

Pretty plain for your average MAID game. Think you could roll a couple more Qualities?

I expect all the peasants go to their local druid or witch or whatever for their important fertility rituals and make-the-crops-grow-worth-a-damn blessings and whatnot. It seems plausible that the main popular market for simple arcane bullshit is bored minor nobles.

My very 2nd game of D&D had a Drow Prostitute armed with all manner of shit from the Book of Erotic Fantasy in the party.

I was in high school and thoroughly unprepared, almost turned me off the hobby for good.

There's also the out of town merchants with more money than sense who want a magic loli whore.

>wat do?
Whore myself out for warmer clothes.

I live in a city with a magic school. The locals can afford that shit.

I hardly get anything for it anyway. It's sleep, class, whoring, repeat, and even then I can barely eat off what I earn.

Having a bit more involvement in the act than laying there like a dead fish may help fix that.

You try being enthusiastic after doing it six times a day for months on end!

Last time I tried being lovey-dovey I got a slap, so it's not like it's easy to tell what they want from me anyway!

It never hurts to ask. That said, don't you generally have a pimp or madam to vet clients first? Even most street walkers get a hype man of some kind to point clients in the right direction for what they want.

Sorry children can't use player classes, use an npc class like the rules say.

Why are wizards all so perverted?

Fine, next time I'll ask! But I'm telling you, I'll just get a "huh?"

Nope, I'm a free agent. I've got a room above a bar and a picture on the wall downstairs. The closest I've got to a madam is the waitress who tells guests if I'm available when they point at my picture.

If this isn't your wizard, just kill yourself

Go back to lebbit with your stale memes.

>Nope, I'm a free agent.
There's your problem. You're marketing yourself a cheap and dirty lay and that's all you're ending up with.

Find yourself a proper promoter of sorts, clean yourself and your act up a bit, and you'll be making more money and go through less clients, and have a much lower chance of getting roughed up.

It's tough enough learning to cast spells without having to do Being a Whore For Dummies revision too! And where exactly do I find a proper promoter to whisk me into slut stardom?

I mean, looking at their states of dress they're basically opposite-gendered equivalents.

You can usually find them near the red light district. They stand out because they're usually the only men not wearing some kind of leather and not looking at the ladies.

Introduce yourself, ask if they have openings and, with a little luck, you'll have a gig. There will likely be some kind of tryout, so make sure you bring your A game, get a cleric to fix you up beforehand if you have to, and the school robes may also be a plus. There's always someone wanting ro pretend to be a naughty professor.

Can't hurt to try I guess.

>There's always someone wanting ro pretend to be a naughty professor.
The other students get enough of that from our actual professors. I'm sure one girl doesn't pay anything and just lives with the prof who's taken her under his wing.

It doesn't do my ego any good that when they visit my establishment they never pick me out from the posters on the wall.

Except one isn't a pre-pubescent girl for creeps.

It's not my fault magic stunts my development! And I'm not that flat anyway!

who says, she's pre-pubescent.
she could be like Monroe or Lupe and just be petite and look young

I'm sure some illusion magic will fix that problem whenever you get that far in your lessons.

Also remember that regular visits to the healers and exercise in your spare time will do wonders for your health and welfare too.

See, I don't roleplay with strangers so this stuff never happens.

Enjoy your imaginary outrage.

Go back to /a/ with your pedo shitposting.

Illusions? Hah, I wish! It sucks growing up in a little town where like five people total can cast spells then moving to a city where every other guy wears lenses of true sight 24/7!

And exercise in my spare time?! I get about seven hours sleep a night and that's my spare time between class and being on my back earning my rent! I have to miss a meal if I want a healer to so much as remove a few spots!

>This is what my hunter looks like

This is what my farmer looks like.

poor garfield

That's all great and all, but can they make a decent potato stew? If no, then they can cut their own throats for all I care.

Women are good for more than just cooking you know!

They don't have potatos from where she's from.

>le ebin forgetful brit maymay
No thx

This is what MY warrior looks like

Clearly, that's a ninja. Don't try tricking me!

She's not bad at cooking up what she catches, not that people let her most of the time, but I don't think potatoes are available in the area, let alone a staple food.

Yeah, like remembering the number of that donkey cart that hit me.

Can they at least make me an egg and cress sandwich? Mayo is optional, but preferable.

How about you disembowel thyself honourably?
I bet you can't even make a decent sausage in a bun.

>you will never be the mentor/protector of an all loli adventuring party, teaching them to delve into dungeons and take care of camps.

Get that better gig and time and money will be a bit less of an issue. Just keep that advice in mind if you get it. You may be tempted to slack off and relax a bit when the stress isn't as much to do as much, but you won't stay ahead like that and you'll just go crazy.

>I have to miss a meal if I want a healer to so much as remove a few spots!

Get one. All it takes is one pissed off Fighter type to get the idea that there's no such thing as caster superiority, and then you'll be known as the magical hooker who burns people to death if they talk about your oozing crotch pustules. And when that happens, you'll learn real quick that business dries up fast when the news spreads around, unlike the oozing crotch pustules.

>no pointy hat
I see headgear and points but not the true pointy hat. A wizard should have a pointy hat.

So I have to do all that, become a professional whore, and I still don't get to relax?!

I do! If I have one vice it's a little vanity. Skipping a meal helps me keep myself thin too, when my only exercise is spreading my legs.

I know, right?
These newcomers can't even don a proper headpiece!
What in the world are they taught in the Wizard Academy nowadays?

Anything is fine if it fits the tone of the setting.

You sure about that? Wizards, man...

just further proof that exposure to magic degenerates both the brain and the body

It'll help you relax more and keep your spirits up, and from the sound of it you need that something bad.

She has tits user.

Only to those who lack willpower and self knowledge. The rot can only set in if it is not fought at all times.

No.
And the reason is not cheesecake - i'm fine with cheesecake.
Just pick something that is done well, not "muh first deviantart OC'-tier shit.

STANDING
ON THE EDGE
OF THE CRATER
LIKE THE PROPHETS ONCE SAID

This is how I space mechanic

>tits
Are not a measurement of a mature woman.
Not even physical maturity is a proper sign of a mature woman.
The devil, as always, is in the details.
THE OUTFIT, user, THE OUTFIT.
A woman seduces masterfully, baiting people with the promise of revealing her body, never actually doing it. A girl reveals herself like a whore, leaving no place for fantasy.
Can you truly say that the attire on the OP image is tasteful?
NO. IT'S SHIT.
Why are, for example, Chinese dresses so great?
They are both revealing and at the same time NOT. They lure you in with the promise, only to bait-and-switch at the last moment, leaving you aroused, but not satisfied.
Look at the whorish outfit of the girl on the OP pic now. Or how about the slutty ?
No taste, no class, just skin exposed in plain sight, revealed like the holes of a slutty whore after a gangbang.
If you truly think that should be allowed, you are no gentleman and no friend of mine, sir.

You have a point. I've got to make some change and this is a better idea than nothing. I'll do it! I'll find myself a pimp!

Dude

Don't take the bait.

Fuck you and your stupid wizard.

Excuse me for not seeing every copypasta ever out there.

>copypasta
>impying I don't tailor my bait personally to the thread

I didn't even know that was a copypasta.

But I did know it was bait.

If you fell for that bait, you need to lurk much, much more, Satan.

Nah, i'm and he's right.
the pic was lterally the first i grabbed.
The subtle cheesecake is much better than in-your-face one, but it's much harder to pull off and is much more dependent on particular person's tastes.

Oh. I can totally agree to that.

Have you read any Garfield comics lately?

It's about time he died.

That's the spirit. Just stay away from anyone with a goofy hat. They're just trouble. There's been more than a few contracts put out on them.

>purple hair
>clashing aesthetics
>colors not matched
JESUS CHRIST THIS IS PAINFUL TO LOOK AT WHO THE FUCK APPROVED THIS WHY IS EVERYTHING SO TERRIBLE

>Just stay away from anyone with a goofy hat. They're just trouble.
Speaking as someone who exclusively plays characters who wear funny hats. I can't say you're wrong.

Veeky Forums plz go

How many fucking proxies does this faggot have?

I say we just report on sight and ignore.

Probably just cycling through airplane mode on his phone and getting really worked up at the fact that he's banned forever.

Somehow I think I hate you more than people who would play as little girls

a lot since he's obviously posting from the dark net

Maybe they'll rangeban half of the country again.

>Bazlahar, what the FUCK?! I was just about to get laid!
>I don't give a featherfalling fuck if you ENTIRE DIMENSION IS ON FIRE! You want something next time, YOU KNOCK!
>Gods above, she's crying now. Thanks.
>Fine, what the hell do you want?
>Wow, wait, it's ACTUALLY on fire?
>Uh, ok, let me find my hat...

Sounds like the whore wizard should go adventuring. Wealth, power, and fame is yours if you're willing to get your hands dirty.

Ok, the girl in the next room gave me a card from someone who tried to recruit her, so I'll pay him a visit.

Isn't that really dangerous? I'm not some epic mage with a library of spellbooks or anything!

>Guess who just slayed some pussy. I tell ye Baltha-
>Jesus Christ!
>Silence Chadwick! I am performing a very complex ritual that will turn into a kinky succubus
>Did you drink all me beer?
>Chadwick, I told you-
>DID YOU DRINK ALL MY BEER
>YES you simpleton, a sufficient amount of drunkenness is required to summon succubi from the depths of hell
>If you do it again I swear I'm not spotting you at the gym anymore. I already let you put up all your wizard shit on the walls, it always spooks the wenches

>Isn't that really dangerous?
Yeah, and selling your body to some random schmo off the street who can afford it isn't?

There's bouncers downstairs and other girls off the corridor.

There's a bit of a difference between nothing usually too severe for a healer to not patch up and getting eaten by orcs or whatever else is out there.

Sure its dangerous but it pays better and you get actual practical magical experience. None of this theorycrafting bullshit.

No, I can imagine you and the rest of your crowd can handle it if it gets too rough.

I'm talking about the risks inherent in sleeping around. I can imagine you have some reliable method of magical contraception, so pregnancy isn't a worry, but what about venereal diseases? You're not a healer; you can't protect yourself from whatever horrible contagions your clients bring to the table.

"This is my wizard."

"You mean bard?"

"No."

This is what my wizard looks like.

This is why it's always good to find a healer willing to help you out in exchange for a few favors now and then.

>sword and bow in case she runs out of spell slots
>but those thighhighs
8/10 would invite into party but wold buy her a normal pair of pants.

>cage to hold all that knowledge
>friendly smile
>simple but stylish outfit
>knows how to present himself
10/10 would entrust with eldritch knowledge

This, I'm more afraid of being punished for messing up a spell in class than anything a trick's ever done to me.

We do plenty of practical exercises! And I'm better at them then most of the class!

Yeah yeah, I've caught stuff before. I can pay for a healer if I turn enough tricks that week and skimp on luxuries.