Have you ever had a cool mount?

Have you ever had a cool mount?
What was it like?
Any cool stories?

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A barbarian I played years ago had a great big white Ox named Bruce. Bruce had 3 things he loved most in life: Headbutting my barbarian, slowly and calmly causing as much destruction of property as possible (walking through fences/gates/stables, and scratching his hind on carts until they toppled over are two things that come to mind), and purposfully sitting on chickens. Crushing chickens was by far his favorite passtime.

Usually in the combination of: About fifteen minutes pass. While sitting in the tavern, enjoying your Ale while trying to ignore the freshly forming welt on your forhead, the innkeeper storms in and slaps three, very flat, chicken carcassas on the table in front of you.
"He crushed my chickens!"
"Why do you keep your chickens in the stables?"
The innkeeper glares at you and growls, "Follow me." Once outside, he makes a grand gesture at the brand new hole in the fence around the stables, the debree leading right over towards the chicken coop. There sits Bruce, once again, not laying down like a normal Ox, but sitting on his hind quarters, head high in the air. Your eyes meet, and he bellows the most indignant, and pleasing sound he can make, almost as if he were laughing at the absurdity of it all.

That barbarian owed much silver to many innkeepers.

I had a talking donkey that would always make cynically sarcastic comments.

A player in one of mt settings had a winter wolf and a giant eagle. Another had a giant owl and we once played with a paladin that had a white bull as a holy mount similar to but with armor and very well trained, i had a wyvern in that setting.

Those are the ones that come to my mind right now. But im sure if i reccount every setting i might find two or maybe three other exotic/cool mounts someone has had in our games

Are you shrek?

No, I'm a Dorf. And Shrek's Dunkey is neither cynical nor sarcastic, just goofy.

bump

My paladin rode a gryphon into battle.

By the time I got it the party had become more or less the de facto leadership of the free world, or what was left of it, and we moved in on a city with our forces to liberate it from the orcish army that had taken it. The sorcerer and the monk lead the troops through the walls and clear the outer defences, while I engage the patrolling wyverns in the air. I tell my gryphon to climb, and we get above the city before dive bombing one of the wyverns and I leap from the saddle and grab the beast by the horns, wrenching its head up and headbutt the thing with a thunderous smite.

The others in the party are clearing a tower when I crash violently through the wall on the back of the now dead wyvern, and then dive off the ledge where my faithful mount catches me mid-air, and I proceed to hurl javelins at the remaining oversized lizards as the sorcerer lays down anti-air fire with his magic.

This more or less creates a precedent for how my character deals with airborne foes from then on, being leaping semi-blindly from high altitude and speed onto the target, which is a dragon more often than not, and beating the shit out of it. This strategy gradually becomes more and more extreme as the campaign goes on and we gain levels, until the day my character gets a set of Armor of Invulnerability.

We are attacking the enemy capital, more or less a Mordor version of Minas Tirith, and I tell the party to deal with the dragon patrols and keep them away from the army while I go ahead and take the main gate, essentially the Black Gate. I fly as high as my feathered friend can take me and we ride through the clouds, and I activate my armor's ability and drop, telling my gryphon to help the others.

I then impact the gate with enough force to be seen from the approaching army several miles away, penetrating six stories of stone and brick through the roof of a watchtower and landing in a 6 foot deep crater in the cellar, unharmed.

Really good story/10

My ranger was raising a baby Roc and was going to ride it around while swinging a longaxe but then he got cut in half by an angry orc barbarian.

My wife had a "giant" crab mount for her gnome cleric, it was fast as fuck, but she kept forgetting it walked sideways on land.

In a game my goblin gunslinger had, for a very short time, a dire skunk named Smellraiser who he and the rest of the party (all goblins) rode around on it less as a battle mount and more as a furry bus since it was about the size of a bear.
Then our DM decided to combine our goblin game with a pirate module he found, we found a boat and my big stinky buddy was rendered useless.

both so ridiculously fun

I used to ride another players Satyr PC into battle.

Did the Master Blaster with my gnome gunslinger and a half-orc barbarian.

Also rode a raptor in Ironclaw, but that's not unusual for the setting I'm told.

The early game BBEG. It was pretty funny if unstable and difficult. Coolest stories I can think of, where she made saves and checks to not fall into a chasm because she was just that much more competent than the rest of the party whom all fell into the chasm, or when she physically broke our way out of jail.

Played as a gnome bard. Made best friends with another PC who was a giant axe wielding barbarian. I rode everywhere on his helmet. After a while it was just assumed by all that i was sitting on my buddys helmet holding on by the horns. My biggest foe were rafters and low door frames.

Does this count?

Not a personal mount but in PF's Kingmaker campaign we managed to somewhat tame a Rock brood that lived just south of our main city.

Neighboring kingdoms that tried to start shit usually had their castle stormed by Roc-dropped paratroopers in the middle of the night.

i had a gnome battle bard that rode a dog. went full dog knight, tiny lance and everything. the character was never very good but i had so much goddamn fun.

Playing as an ogre in a WFRP campaign right now. I have a wyvern chained to a big wagon I use as a chariot.

Once, when I played a system in swedish (Eon), I had something called a "murvelbest". It was in the book but none of us knew what it was. There were no descriptins or stats as far as I know. The GM made it pretty overpowered, especially in forest areas where it could pounce at enemies from behind trees. It was my most treasured compainion.

Yes

In world war 2 setting

An 8000lb spider.

My dude is an Archmage who specializes in spells ivolving bugs.

Doesn't really need to use it considering he can turn himself into a giant spider, or any giant insect he likes. Dragonflies are fukkin fast yo.

My hacker once worked with a badass sniper lady

She needed her cool car on the doublefast during a mission

My hacker was a teen ork and didn't know how to drive very well

Scraped it against a few telephone poles on the way to the sniper

She was displeased.

I played a paladin in 4th edition, and there weren't rules anymore for paladin mounts, so I asked my GM about it, and he said he'd give me one in-game.

So then, a session or two in, my paladin of Pelor saved some artifact of Pelor or something, and Pelor gave me a horse as a reward. The GM said it was made out of pure sunlight, so it radiated light at all times. Being the guy I am, I asked if that meant it technically dealt Radiant damage. I expected him to just give me a look like "fuck you, dude". But, as I would in time learn, this guy was really bad at thinking through the results of his answers, and he said yes. Even assigned it a number. Again, not being good at thinking things through, he made it pretty powerful.

So, smash cut to when we find an army of thousands of zombies surrounding a city, and are told we will need to complete a whole adventure just to sneak into this city through the sewers with the help of the king's spies. Then I charge through the army of the undead, my horse instantly vaporizing hundreds upon hundreds of zombies. The look of frustration on the GM's face was pretty great.

Ultimately, he had to rebalance the entire siege of this city, which was an integral part of the campaign plot, around this horse, because he wouldn't just say fuck that and take it away from me. So instead of level 1 zombie,s the city was besieged by like flesh golems and vampires and shit. Somehow, they still never managed to get over the wall.

My current character uses one of his ghouls as a mount.

And thanks again to whoever drew this for me.

I played a paladin in Pathfinder who was built around charging and mounted combat. He had a warhorse which I named Khartoum, after the horse who gets his head cut off in The Godfather.

The horse eventually got killed, but I can't remember how that happened. I think I was fighting a demon and it threw me off the horse and killed it, or hit us both and killed it. Khartoum and I did execute the most glorious attack of my roleplaying career, when I rolled a critical on a charge with my lance while smiting, and dealt 94 damage, instantly killing some kind of flying devil thing.

I had a talking donkey, which was magically summoned via some bag (I can't remember the details, exactly) and the poor thing developed an intense hatred of the party. Well, mostly just my character. We were a small party, we lacked a proper rogue, so we'd just summon the donkey, send it down any suspicious looking hallways or the like, and wait to see what happened.

Our GM started it off as a cheerful sort of magical donkey that could never die. Over time, it became more and more bitter, more and more hateful, and resigned to it's grim fate. Eventually the campaign got to the point where we started having "signature" magic items, and mine was the donkey summoning sack - whereas once upon a time it could summon other magical critters, it could now only summon the Rage Donkey; a biting, kicking immortal engine of destruction that hated the world.

I don't know if you would count it as a mount, but I played a pilot in a sci fi game who had a customized starfighter. He was supposed to be like a cross between Archer and Maverick from Top Gun. He commanded Slam Squadron, and every time we flew into battle I would play Come on and Slam on my phone. We shot down a lot of ships together.

The best moment of that campaign was when I was using a tow cable to pull a disabled shuttle full of civilians and player characters back to the mother ship. Rather than land normally, I jack knifed the fighter and used the cable to whip the shuttle around, then detached it and sling shotted it into the hangar bay.

Everybody hated that character but me.

>I played a paladin in 4th edition, and there weren't rules anymore for paladin mounts

A paladin (cavalier) from Heroes of the Forgotten Kingdoms with Call Celestial Steed at level 4 is easily the most capable out-of-the-box mounted combat character in all of 4e.

I played a wizard once who got a wand of summon monster 1 or something, and I used it to summon a pony which I named Squirtle. So, in order to get through a room full of traps, I kept casting the wand over and over, sending dozens of ponies running into the chamber to be exploded, liquefied, and hacked to pieces by various deadly traps, all the while shouting "Squirtle, I choose you" over and over again.

The only book that was out back then was the PHB, so we didn't have that.

Played an Eberron game with a Talenta Halfling. My clawfoot (velociraptor) mount was named Clever Girl and I used a lot of my spells to buff her so she was insanely fast, could jump crazy distances, and get annoyingly high bonuses to tracking.

Once we set our sights on an enemy, they were not getting away short of a readied long range teleportation spell.

Our party's mute oracle liberated a Roc during our travels. I'm sure he had a proper name for it, which we ignored (as we often did, because he couldn't say otherwise) and named The Wind. Ours was an island hopping game, and we would go to wherever The Wind may take us.

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The Poles already did it, user.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wojtek_(bear)