Mankind is fighting aliens in a large, galaxy scale war

>Mankind is fighting aliens in a large, galaxy scale war.
>Both sides are throwing rocks as their main attack.
How do you explain why?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=eab5d38UOxE
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

asteroids are just big rocks.

Child soldiers. They're too young to use guns.

I suppose after a while it might be easier to just hurl asteroids/planetoids at each other.

Heavily ritualized war practice by the aliens. They have a lot more technology and culd wipe us, but by tradition they need to wage war with primitive races only using primal weapons. By extension, they also force said race to do the same, else they shoot us.

Armor technology has found ways to nullify bullets, blades, and shrapnel, but crushing attacks still work. There.

the rocks are made of silver fulminate.

The war has dragged on so long both sides have regressed technologically to throwing rocks.

In ten thousand years when the winners of each planetary conflict return to the stars, the war will renew with a vengeance.

I don't really, I am usually not the guy who likes people who don't buy into the threads premisse. But sometimes I also like to come into threads and let everyone know I hate their premisse.

More powerful aliens confiscated all the other stuff as part of an experiment

Snowball fight got a bit out of hand.

Q

The initial hours of the war were fought with weapons of mass retardation, not unlike the autism weapon used in the Finno-Korean Hyper War.

The Interplanetary sport with a name that can only be loosely translated in our language as "war", is part of traditional rituals of introduction to the galactic community.

>not azidoazide azide

Communications fault: instead of a space opera, they thought it was a rock opera.

>Mankind is fighting aliens in a large, galaxy scale war.
>Both sides are knifes as their main attack.
How do you explain why?

>Gwar vs Dethklok
YES
YES
YES

The problem with that is that it just blows up the second you even consider grabbing it. Also, still one of my favorite chemical reports to read

Why don't more people discuss the Finno-Korean Hyper War? The effects of that conflict can still be felt well into the modern age.

They're both governed by a multi-galaxy empire and their galactic overlords are fine with infighting of the rock-chucking kind, but any weapon which needs to be produced is off-limits.

It was a big rock.

Human side is space spaniards.
Alien side is alien spaniards.

>Somehow they made it into a civil war

See
Just replace rocks with knives.

That's my next setting.

Then it was a even bigger rock.

DIGGANOBS

>We, Humanity United, think this is a big enough rock

All evidence to the contrary. Africa has proven 5 year olds can point and pull.

Read up on a little thing called the Heinlein Maneuver. Dropping or throwing rocks into a gravity well is a massively effective weapon, if you use ones that are big enough.

Throwing big ruck is effective.

I can explain why.

First, there was a long era of peace and co-operation across the galaxy. All living species shared their technology and re-shaped the planets into perfect, high-efficiency paradises. Concerned about the potential for future conflict, the United Galactic Council enacted a bold plan that wiped out all records of many kinds of technologies, thus preparing the worlds for an eon of tranquility.

However, the long eras of post-scarcity primitive living led to population growth, until all the galaxy's Dyson spheres were overcrowded. For the first time in millennia, there was not enough of something, but people had long forgotten how to innovate (no need) so, without records of greater weapons, they started throwing rocks.

Overseer race called for rock throwing contest, the losing race gets erased.

The advanced overseer race is kind of a bag of dicks but hey, if you gotta throw rocks and rocks only to save your race you can bet that humans will be the most spirited rock throwers you'll have ever seen.

Near c asteroids make for a deadly game of dodgeball.

They don't even need to be all that large. One large asteroid will leave a divot.The same mass in thousands of pieces in the same time frame will just cook the hemisphere.

>not hurling planets attached to tractor beams to ruin their shit
>giving a singular fuck about collateral damage
do you even macro war?

>autism weapon used in the Finno-Korean Hyper War.

a more powerful third faction forced a treaty on them forbidding the use of weapons.

technically power armor with a really strong throwing arm and a rock are not weapons.

Gravity cannons launching planets usually rek solar systems, forcing the lmaos to move planets constantly.The lmaos then have no weapons and so throw rocks

Ancient Aliens Conspiracy: there was a network of portal gates between planets, and our ancestors used it. So did another alien race that wanted our jerbs and wimminz (and/or cave-wall porn), so we threw rocks at their rocks, and then they threw rocks at our rocks, and then we started aiming for each other.

Hillary Clinton got elected and banned guns everywhere.

This. Our means of combat haven't progressed from throwing shit. We got sticks and strings to throw pointy shit further. Then used explosions to throw little metal shit. Little shit not effective enough? Use a plane or tank and throw bigger, exploding shit.

youtube.com/watch?v=eab5d38UOxE

>Psst, hey, ayy lmao
>let's pretend to throw rocks at each other while we mobilize our WMDs against this douchey Overseer race
>That way we can- OWW NOT MY EYE, IT'S ON NOW BITCH!

>c'mon guys, this WAS a snowball fight!!

The West Side Story Reenactments got WAY out of hand.

>Tfw remembering the kid who would purposely put a rock in their snowball or use a chunk of ice

A conspiracy of rogue AI leads both sides in a cold war armistice to believe true war is breaking out imminently.

Advanced weapons technology, along with computer-assisted warfare quickly evaporates the bulk of central command and vital military infrastructure on both sides. In the limited communications remaining, jingoistic propaganda calls upon colonies to form militias and fight for their home galaxy.

In the lieu of proper payloads, most of their combat consists of dropping tons of rocks and waste over enemy colonies from civilian cargo vessels.

There is a lot of asteroids around. If you have good FTL you can zip around the galaxy, strap some basic rockets on a ton around and time it so they arrive as a giant fucking undodgeable cloud that will absolutely wreck their planet.

Of course, then they do it to you too and then you both do it to every planet the other finds even remotely hospitable and thus are reduced to nomadic ship fleets.

>soldier charges into battle, rock in hand
>in the melee, he falls and drops his rock, which breaks all the way through along a fracture line
>as he picks it up, he cuts his fingers on the sharpened edge of the broken rock
>he ponders how a sharp edge can create a deeper wound with less force behind it, even if it has less mass than a standard-issue rock
>is about to invent the knife
>is smashed in the head by an enemy rock

Isaac Newton is the deadliest motherfucker in space.

Mass accelerators

Also the least accurate. You'd be lucky to actually hit anything past a few light years.

I've read a short story like that
>humans and some aliens are about to engage in big fleet fight
>suddenly, MC, a regular pilot, is ported to some grainy rocky desert
>he discovers that he is locked in a quarter sphere by forcefields
>on the other half is an alien
>they have to use rocks and twigs to try doing battle to each other

Weapons were banned after some guy accidently wiped out half of the galaxies population when his laser pistols antimatter generator powerpack exploded. Everyone plays by the rules because all non Lawfull alignments were killed off by evolution and the war now fought is fought because Mankind wants it's favourite past time (Shooting each other) back.

I'd use Eclipse phase's rules (without the grimdark) so you can build crazy robot bodies for Hyper velocity rock throwing at extreme rates. And so that shooting each other as an actual past time makes sense.

Really shitty writing

If both are spaniards, X-trem fraticide is their natural state.

But they come with a free frogurt!

That sounds insanely hard to pull off without it becoming retarded, but otherwise great idea.

Being retarded is part of the appeal