Warcraft Lore and RPG Discussion

Shit they manage to dig up before the flood of adventurers washes away they disposable idiots make it economically viable.

So, seeing as Goblins are all about making money and blowing shit up, how viable are Goblin run Brothels?
The fact that it could be used as a front for shit and an information source of targets would be attractives, as well as the income from the front itself. It'd probably be worth it enough to keep it well kept and the employees comfortable.

Goblin-run brothels would be very successful. A business is a business, and you have to have the highest-quality goods to sell to customers. Plus, I can't help but picture a goblin madam as a contact for a PC.
>Oh, it's ! I didn't expect to see you around here, . I kept a bed warm just for you. ...No? All right, all right. Maybe next time. What can I do for you this evening, babe?

You know, you'd think that Warcraft goblins work sort of like chickens in that there's probably a pretty consistent population of female goblins that occasionally outnumber the males until breeding season comes and there's x5 times as many males as females until they blow themselves up.

It probably helps that lady goblins aren't repulsive.

>It probably helps that lady goblins aren't repulsive.
Relatively.

yeah but more likely they'd run it, not operate it. maybe a few goblins for the shortstack lovers, but demand would still be on orcs, belves and trolls, and gobbos are smart enough to facilitate that

Of course, you wouldn't have only goblin employees. You have to cater to all manner of tastes and clientele. The gentle human waif, the high-class blood elf, the exotic night elf, the orc dominatrix, and so on.

>there's x5 times as many males as females until they blow themselves up.

I'd pay to see this.

Plus, you'd get the inevitable quest where some guy tried to beat on one of the madam's girls, and you have to find the scumbag who did it.

natural selection?

Goblin girls ask prospective husbands for gifts of explosives, secretly hoping the idiots will blow themselves up and leave the smarter ones alive to breed.

Considering running a game set in Azeroth, but need a good system suggestion that will actually fulfill the feeling of playing a character in the setting, rather than trying to fake it. Someone has suggested Shadow of the Demon Lord to me, but I'm looking for other ideas.

Honestly, I can see them operating it too. They probably wouldn't take clients, but a goblin sitting around in fancy clothes with a cigarette on a holder and greeting her customers is something I can easily imagine them enjoying doing.
Of course, it probably would end up based on the Goblin who owned it.

Man I can picture that as well. I'm surprised there hasn't been a Goblin "Club" like that in-game already.

Pic not related, but we need more Goblins

Man, Blizzard is already taking the beer out of brewfest. They wouldn't let new casual sanitized WoW have a whore house.

Wait, what? Could I get a source on that? Cause that seems stupid, even by Blizz standards

>draenei and gnomes are in demand, but expensive because its hard to convince any to work there
>magic users could get a small discount on blood elves before the sunwell was fixed
>only the larger operations bother hiring forsaken because they need special rooms to contain the smell
>death knights are highly desired as a less rotten alternative for the undead niche
>warlock and hunter employees discreetly cater to rarer and often illegal tastes
>draenei use the "secret menu" more than anyone else, and the Exodar would be collectively blackmailed if they weren't such good customers
>the brothels work together to rotate their most exotic workers around, bringing vrykul all the way to Pandaria and so on
>goblins have a solid grip on prostitution, but gnomes own the sex toy market

They've turned all the samples into Non-Alcoholic stuff and they've removed all references to needing to be drunk to complete the quests and everything points to the goggles now.
You can still get a mug and fill from the kegs and do stuff while drunk, but that's literally the only interaction beer has with brewfest anymore. Hell, the mugs never empty anymore either, so you only have to go to a keg once.

>>goblins have a solid grip on prostitution, but gnomes own the sex toy market
Goddamn, together they would be unstoppable!

>Demon Hunters are paid well both as bouncers and escorts. Taking care of mishaps resulting from Warlock "activities" and allowing customers a closer touch to the fel without outright risking soul and sanity.

It was due to censorship in some European country so that they had to do it, including the removal of the Wolpertinger quest because in the last part you need to get smashed and hunt the said creatures. As such the European version got censored in general.

That's horrible. Especially since its based off a European festival to begin with.

>Affliction w-locks and Unholy knights come with a free priest to get remove of certain "Afflictions" after the time has run out
>Monks are the favored class for handling group
>Rogues only do it from behind

>gnomes often use goblin brothels to test their contraptions
>goblins often use gnome toys for their specialty rooms
>everyone knows, but talking about it is considered rude

>Customers have to sign liability waivers before being allowed to hire a Tauren.

Knowing goblins, "goblin club" probably just means there's a zap-o-majig at the door that transforms anyone who enters into a goblin for the duration. Sort of like the winter wonder-volt which is a gnome invention that turns anyone into a gnome.

Just picture it now, a tauren, forsaken, pandaren and orc head to the new hot club in town, go through the door and ZAT.

>Why am I so short?
>Where is my fur?
>WHERE ARE MY HORNS?

DKs would probably be very clean whores. They'd have to whack you with a runeblade (and they probably wouldn't hire someone with runic dick tattoos or a saronite strapon) to give you one of their diseases, and anything they caught from clients wouldn't survive in their bodies for long.

>there's a magical disease that mildly irritates the living but burns undead like a motherfucker
>Rashbringer
>rumors claim Tirion wept when he heard the name
>the argent crusade had to issue a public statement denying responsibility after outraged forsaken accused them of making biological weapons

Shiiet, seriously? What year did that change go up?

Wait what? Is that for real?

Poor wolpertingers...

Does anyone think Archerus is way too open? Every other necropolis has rooms and halls, but the Ebon Hold is just two floors. I want departments where unholy DK's are experimenting in necromancy and a training hall where blood DK's are fighting each other. Basically a smaller Naxx.

I hope the pink elekks made it out ok.

On a related note which race has the best mounts and why is it Trolls?

Humans because horses. Fuck your animal menagerie.

It'd be too confusing otherwise. There's no reason to go there outside of training so it's designed to get you in and out asap

Fuck off blizzard. Next thing you will tell me is that sw and iron forge are too complicated and in legion going to reduced down to a single district each

I wish it was getting a facelift befitting a class hall. I like it but it seems so small due to how open it is

Considering you only visit your trainer to reset your spec and learn dual spec I am honestly surprised blizz has not "streamlined" them out

A few years ago. It's not even fun to hang out at brewfest anymore. I just do the event fight through LFG then go about my business.

Salaries are paid at the end of operations. The adventurers killing all their mooks before payday are saving them a fortune.

>Every other necropolis

Every OLD necropolis. All the new ones in wrath used the two floor design. Naxx style necropoli are practically cities, meant to plop down in enemy territory and stick around until it becomes proper scourge land. Northrend already has better, more expansive facilities for all the things a big necropolis contains, so that type wasn't needed.

The smaller types are just meant to get a commander and his mooks in place, have room for an extra facility if needed, and nothing more. Acherus was only meant to churn out death knights, so it only needs that one training hall. It only punched so far above its weight class because it had the direct support of Arthas, part of Naxx's crew on loan, and some northrend bosses. Mograine overestimated himself and Acherus, it was never meant to be a better Naxx.

Malykriss was, and the Acherus crew probably would've been transferred to its death knight wing if they'd stayed loyal like Orbaz.

>On a related note which race has the best mounts
nether drakes

Would a goblin-run brothel have exploding sheep-skin condoms?

>Mograine overestimated himself and Acherus, it was never meant to be a better Naxx.
I took his proclaimation to mean Acherus was a hunter-killer Submarine compared to Naxx's aircraft Carrier.

Acherus COULD ambush and destroy Naxx in a quick strike but was nowhere near as good at force projection (Which is why it stayed out of Northrend where it could be surrounded and destroyed)

This To the end of the world, and then some!

>Europe
>censoring alcohol
>not lording their acceptance of a booze lifestyle over Amerifags

What the fucking hell.

i can tell you dont seem to have an accurate picture in your head of what europe actually is now

Fair point. I haven't been anywhere but northern Germany in the last 2 years, and that was only briefly.

Didn't realize I was watch the re-fall of Constantinople 2.0 on TV.

I fucking wish most european men had beards like that

>it's Europe therefore muslims
Fuck off /pol/. Europe still has homegrown moralists and busybodies to spare, they just don't reach the hellfire and brimstone extremes that baptists do.

I don't think a Baptist's indignation compares to the bloody Inquisition.

But w/e.

I have this thought in my head of a goblin gal and a gnome girl, former rivals, going into business together. They still can barely stand each other, but realize that the animosity drives them both to be better at what they do together.

And the late-night, on-the-lab-table, frustration-releasing hatesex is incredible. Every innovation comes after a session...

minus the gender and spoiler, that's the boat in Thousand Needles

>Shadow Priests provide the whole mindbreak experience for customers. You've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.

>>Rogues only do it from behind
I WEAR BLOODFANG LEATHER

>Rashbringer

Europoor here, nice bullshit.
Would be interesting to hear which european country gave a fuck about a beer festival.
And why did a us-company care?
Sounds more like some berserk sueing from some Christian fundis in the us.

Only it's not banned in the US, you still get totally smashed.

I do find it weird Europe of all places got irked about alcohol. That sort of thing isn't even considered a huge deal here in Burgerland and we're a lot more puritanical.

Blizzard does care about overseas markets though. They delay releases of expansions in China because the PRC government gets seriously bootybothered by skull iconography for some reason. So they have to spend extra time combing through it and making a special Chinaman version with no skulls or exposed bones in order to pass the censor test.

Yeah, I don't know what that guy is on about. It all has to do with ratings. If they make Brewfest nonalcoholic, they can keep a more all ages rating. Same reason they don't have gambling and drugs in the game.

You can still drink, of course, but it's not mandatory.

I can see DK escorts making an ideal dominatrix because if their penchant for spikes and endless need to cause suffering.

Or if you're really into the punishment scene, Paladins are a good option too.

That said, I have seen a couple "brothels" on RP servers. Mostly involving goblin pimps and dealers. They mostly employed blood elves because people seem more willing to roleplay/cyber with blood elf prostitutes.

I've never gone near any of these establishments because frankly it kind of creeps me out. Also because Goblin RPers are a special breed of obnoxious.

Maybe if you're into the crude simple stuff. The thinking man knows that Shadow Priests are where it's really at.

Any interesting ideas that could be RPed with a Horde Pandaren Warrior?

This is a ______ (____)

Huojin through and through. Bro-tier, believes in honor, strength, self-reliance and all that. Feels a strong bond of kinship with his Huojin comrades, "old guard" orcs, and Tauren. Is chill with trolls. A little distrustful of BElves, Forsaken, and Goblins. Thinks Saurfang should have been Warchief after Thrall left and believes the Horde should look to their own instead of antagonizing the Alliance.

A born explorer, interested in following Chen's footsteps and seeing this weird new world. Always looking for a new story to tell.

Chromie > everyone else.

I could work with that, thank you! Now time to work on her backstory.

>female Pandaren

Just please don't go the demure waifu route. There's plenty of that already and none of it's good.

Nah, warriors and demure waifus don't mix together too well. I'll keep that to probably a tauren.

> warriors and demure waifus don't mix together too well

Tell that to WoW RPers.

I see it too much, even at tabletop. This meme needs to stop.

Did Brewmaster monks get affected by this at all? I mean their entire fighting style is based on alcohol.

Some more Xal'atath quotes. Some commentary on the naaru and the eternal conflict between Light and Void, some boasting about the greatness of Ny'alotha, and other such things.

mmo-champion.com/threads/1897161-Legion-Shadow-Priest-Discussion?p=40018488&viewfull=1#post40018488

Also some obvious points about how demons are treacherous bastards, and how N'Zoth gave the Naga their forms.

>Before you stands a slender, yet firmly proud figure... As you gaze upon her subtly curvacious form you notice that her beauty is only enhanced by her toned firm muscles... and you wonder at how a figure of such grace and beauty can seem so intimidating... and yet... alluring...

You gotta remember, it's not so much about there being alcohol in the game - it's there. You can buy it. You can still get smashed.

It just has to be optional. Quests aren't considered optional, even holiday ones. Same thing with the fiction of the Brewmasters. They drink "brew" not booze. It could be brewed tea.

We know it's not, but that's enough to cover things ratings-wise.

Man, I both hate and love this. I hate it because it's terrible writing to god-mode the way others perceive your character. I love it because it's cringey and hilariously bad. Especially when they describe things you can see in-game, like hair color or skin tone.

All you have to write for your description is something like:
>A large tauren with a mean look on his face
>A toned, athletic young woman in practical armor
>A jolly-looking Pandaren with an easy-going demeanor
>A bulky orc missing his right eye.

That's all you have to fucking say.

People love to go into detail about their character so you know for sure what exactly you're seeing.

Be grateful they aren't taking a couple paragraphs to describe their weapons.

>tfw want to start roleplaying on WoW but don't know where to even start.

Oh I've seen plenty of that too.

Autistic attention detail is annoying but that's not the worst. What I really don't like is the character's MRP telling me how I'm supposed to feel about what I see. I couldn't imagine anyone pulling that at a tabletop setting.

Don't do it, young lad. You have so much to live for.

I don't like black-haired Sally.

you forget where we are.

I'll agree that it's the worst.
>You can't take your eyes off them.
>Looking into their eyes fills you with terrible dread.
>He towers over you, muscles rippling and sneer plastered on his face. Whatever he sees in you, he clearly doesn't like it.
>For just the slightest moment, your eyes catch her before she disappears. No matter how hard you try, you can't see her again.
>Simply being around him helps put you at ease.

>being on Veeky Forums
>being in a Warcraft thread on Veeky Forums
>having something to live for

Senpai...

>Whatever he sees in you, he clearly doesn't like it.

See this is just asking me to troll him. One of my characters is a Belf rogue who mainly exists to antagonize OCs who take themselves too seriously.

I usually try to describe things plainly, though I do want to make sure the distinctive features are known. I don't want anyone to mistake my Forsaken character for some impossibly well-preserved handsome fellow, who is only just a bit pale. He's a maimed and mummified corpse.

When I do add emotion to the description, it's usually because I'm hinting at certain dark magical affinities emanating from him.

They're not...

I mean, they can't...

Her name is fucking WHITEMANE!

Maybe they are going to remane her to Ebonlocke

Warcraft became measurably more terrible when Dave Kosak came on board and it will immediately start to recover after he falls down an elevator shaft onto some bullets.

But, that would make her evil!!

Don't you dare give them ideas.

Maybe he'll get hit by a bus.

Probably just a placeholder.
Fuck them for ruining everyone associated with that name.