Khornette Quest Omake

Iggy it is by a vote. Back in a bit!

The process of “infiltrating” Tzeentch’s twisted realm is trivial to you. Mostly because Ignitrix left you a rather convenient backdoor that allows you to skip 99% of the sorcery bullshit between point A and B. After taking the shortcut, you find yourself in nullspace before a brick and mortar, human-styled, single-floor home. In the yard is Ignitrix’s stuffed dog, running in circles. Your brass scorpion, Sheila, is nowhere to be found. The last time you were here it was parked off to the side of the house, along with several corrupted acolytes. Neither is there currently.

You quickly walk up the stone path to the front door and knock loudly. “Oi! It’s Cin-”

Before you can finish, the door swings open. “Yes yes, I know it’s you,” says a familiar voice from inside. “Come in.”

The interior of the house is fairly spartan. There’s a single couch before a large table, across from which sits a high-backed chair facing a TV set. Said TV is currently displaying nothing but static. Supposedly it contains all sorts of information and possibilities, but you’ve never been able to see them. In any case, a clawed hand emerges from the side of the chair and directs you to sit on the couch.

Once you’ve seated yourself, Ignitrix swivels in her chair to face you. She’s much as you left her last time. Well, almost. You think she might have made herself a smidge taller but it’s hard to tell for sure.

“So Cinder, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

> [1] Some asshole wants to have a mech fight, so you need Sheila
> [2] No time to explain. Where’s Sheila?
> [3] Could you build me a daemon engine?
> [4] Write in

> [1] Some asshole wants to have a mech fight, so you need Sheila

You picked tonight of all nights?

>[1] Some asshole wants to have a mech fight, so you need Sheila

> [1] Some asshole wants to have a mech fight, so you need Sheila
>Unless you can build something better?

Oh look at the clever monkey!

>[1] Some asshole wants to have a mech fight, so you need Sheila

Gettin' the band back together

[1] it is. Back shortly!

Also cheers, Janitor/Mod.

Pleasantly surprised here, myself

“In short, a pathetic excuse of a Khornate daemon wants to fight me,” you reply. “But only in Engine to Engine combat for whatever stupid reason.”

Ignitrix raises an eyebrow. “I see. So you’ll want Sheila then?”

You nod. “That was the idea, yes.”

“Hm. Well right now she’s…” Ignitrix taps her chin in thought. “...I believe she’s currently terrorizing one of the fringe worlds in the Koronus Expanse. She wanted to vaporize something so I happily obliged. I could call her back in a second, of course. I just want to be sure before interrupting her fun.”

“Well as she’s the only pilotable daemon engine I can think of off the top of my head…”

“Tell me, did this daemon who challenged you specify the engine had to be Khornate in origin?”

You shake your head. “No, but he’s liable to whine if it’s not.”

“Like that’ll stop you from cleaving him in two.”

“It’s the principle of the thing, Iggy.”

“Right right. I just thought you might want something a bit more flashy or powerful. A Brass Scorpion is great and all, but who knows what’s waiting for you. It’d be rather difficult for you if your opponent turned out to have a Titan.”

A laugh escapes from your lips. “If he’s cowardly enough to do so, he’s obviously compensating. Then again, he did take Sytili hostage so who knows.”

Ignitrix frowns at that. “Hrm. Well as I said, I can have Sheila back here in an instant. Just let me know what you want me to do.”

> [1] You’ll use O.G. Sheila
> [2] Let Iggy spruce up Sheila a bit
> [3] Ask if Iggy could build you something from scratch
> [4] Write in

> [2] Let Iggy spruce up Sheila a bit

> [2] Let Iggy spruce up Sheila a bit

>[3] Ask if Iggy could build you something from scratch

[2]

>[3] Ask if Iggy could build you something from scratch

OH! The shiny red button!

[2] by a vote. Back in a bit!

After deliberating for a few minutes, you reply, “Bring her back. Then you can work your magic to make her truly terrifying.”

“You’ve got it!”

Ignitrix snaps her fingers. Instantly you hear a loud explosion and screams coming from outside.

“BY THE EMPEROR. WHAT DID YOU DO OCTAVIUS?!”

“I KNEW BRINGING A PSYKER WAS A BAD IDEA!”

“IT WASN’T ME! WE-”

## Firing Main Cannon. ##

Another blast rocks the house, then silence. You raise an eyebrow at Ignitrix. She shrugs and says, “It was an area teleport. Guess it caught some Imperials. Not that it matters.”

“More skulls is never a bad thing. But to business. What do you plan on doing to Sheila?”

A sparkle twinkles in Ignitrix’s eyes. “I had a few ideas, actually. You just have to pick which one(s) you want.”

She waves her hand and conjures up several images in mid air. They float before you, showing off each upgrade in turn.

> Pick up to two
> [1] Size - It really is everything. This will boost Sheila to be half the size of a Titan.
> [2] More Cannons - Split the main tail cannon into several independent ones
> [3] Speed - Give Sheila a fresh coat of red paint and fit her with oversized boosters
> [4] Defence - Fit Sheila with a vehicle sized forcefield
> [5] Write in

> [2] More Cannons - Split the main tail cannon into several independent ones
> [4] Defence - Fit Sheila with a vehicle sized forcefield
Size is fun, but I don't think we need to make a bigger target if we can compensate other ways.

>[1] Size - It really is everything. This will boost Sheila to be half the size of a Titan.
> [2] More Cannons - Split the main tail cannon into several independent ones

>[1] Size - It really is everything. This will boost Sheila to be half the size of a Titan
> [2] More Cannons - Split the main tail cannon into several independent ones

GO BIG OR GO HOME

[2] for sure, and I believe [1] has it over [4] by a vote. Back in a bit!

> [2] More Cannons - Split the main tail cannon into several independent ones
>[4] Defence - Fit Sheila with a vehicle sized forcefield

And we should prepare for a boarding action in case that jerk brought a titan

So who else figured out this was a giant prank?
ALso if any mods see this, G fucking G you actually convinced me for quite a while, I'm not even mad anymore I find it bloody impressive that you could pull this off.

Rolled 2 (1d2)

Bah, right as I post. Lemme roll it off. 1 -> [1], 2-> [4]

don't go even then, the place is fucking retarded

You pick the first upgrade rather quickly. The way you see it, there’s always room for more weapons. The second upgrade, however, takes you a bit longer. You go back and forth between boosting Sheila’s size and giving her a forcefield. In the end, you settle on the forcefield. You’re Cinder. You don’t need to be the biggest daemon around to be the best. Staying small and nimble has proven to work for you in the past.

Once you’ve finished picking, Ignitrix claps her hands together. “Got it. Let’s do this thing.”

She stands and motions for you to follow her. Then she floats outside to where Sheila is waiting. The Brass Scorpion is coated in fresh battle scars, ranging from scratches and gouges in the metal shell to blood spatters across the front. With one hand outstretched, Ignitrix psychically raises the daemon engine into the air and begins her work. Her pace is astonishing. No sooner has she split the main tail into individual parts does she fit them all back together in a new configuration. Similarly, the cockpit section sees a small expansion to accommodate the forcefield generators.

Some ten minutes later, the new and improved Sheila is lowered back down to the ground. Ignitrix turns to you with a big grin on her face. “All done. Try not to have too much fun without me, eh?”

Now there’s a thought. You might want to bring the bird along for repairs and/or witty banter. Then again…

> [1] Ask if Iggy wants to come
> [2] Thank Iggy for her time and ask for a teleport to Nuhjersy
> [3] Write in

>[1] Ask if Iggy wants to come
Maybe we could go see if "Nurgle" wants to come also?

>[1] Ask if Iggy wants to come

Can't quest without best bird. Who would we headpat?

> [1] Ask if Iggy wants to come

> [1] Ask if Iggy wants to come

[1] it is, back shortly!

>[1] Ask if Iggy wants to come
> [2] Thank Iggy for her time and ask for a teleport to Nuhjersy

Whynotboth.jpg

>Nuhjersy
Fuck me i just got it.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Ignitrix wants to come along. You smirk and fold your arms across your chest. “If you want to come that badly, just say so.”

“Hmph!” replies Ignitrix with a pout. “Never. But I suppose *someone* capable of tactical thinking should come along.”

“Remind me, who won our last chess game?”

“Flipping the board over, chopping it to pieces, and yelling that ‘Queen’s are bullshit’ doesn’t count as winning.”

“You didn’t take my king. That’s what matters.”

A loud sigh emanates from your feathered compatriot. “Whatever keeps you happy. Lucky for you I foresaw this exact situation and retrofitted Sheila accordingly.”

You reach out and bat the bird on her head. “Excellent. Let’s get going then.”

The pair of you move over to Sheila’s side. From there you hop up on top of the Brass Scorpion’s crimson shell and open up the pilot’s compartment. Ignitrix wasn’t lying. It’s far more spacious than you remember. In fact, it might be bigger on the inside thanks to a little trick of sorcery. There’s plenty of room to accommodate both your large form and Ignitrix. Naturally, you take the pilot’s seat, while Ignitrix slips into the back seat. Then you seal the engine and coax it back to life.

“So, where exactly are we going?” asks Ignitrix. You turn back to look at her, only to find she’s got several readouts and holo-displays before her.

“A planet called Nuhjersy. Ever heard of it?”

“Can’t say I have. But it shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

The blue daemon closes her eyes for a moment as she concentrates. They snap open after a few seconds. “Got it. It lies within the Eye of Terror. Or, rather, it does *now* after the latest expansion.”

“Lovely. Mind teleporting us there?”

“I already have.”

> cont

You blink slowly. Sure enough, when you look outside you see a vast cityscape. Countless skyscrapers and other towering buildings line the streets. Most of them are in various states of disrepair and corruption. Everything’s illuminated by a massive white giant star that takes up a good eighth of the sky.

“Where do we go from here?” Ignitrix questions.

“We have to find this ‘Gorwrath,’” you reply. “I don’t suppose you could point us in the right direction?”

“Normally I would. But there’s a strange miasma that’s making it hard to differentiate individual entities. The good news is it masks our signature as well.”

Great. Guess you’ll just have to do it the old-fashioned way.

> [1] Pick a direction and stick with it
> [2] Turn on Sheila’s speakers and shout a challenge
> [3] Have Iggy try and pinpoint at least one entity
> [4] Write in

> [2] Turn on Sheila’s speakers and shout a challenge

>[2] Turn on Sheila’s speakers and shout a challenge

We dig giant robots! Chicks dig giant robots!

> [2] Turn on Sheila’s speakers and shout a challenge

>[2] Turn on Sheila’s speakers and shout a challenge
>Also start blaring youtube.com/watch?v=r2tYJoocSgg on the mic

[2] it is. Roll me a 1d100 if you would be so kind

Rolled 48 (1d100)

Rolled 67 (1d100)

Hear me Dice Gods!

Rolled 1 (1d100)

Rolled 78 (1d100)

FUCKING NICE!

Rolled 17 (1d100)

Damn you!

Well then. Back in a bit.

Low is good here user

You're welcome!

Oh shit, right. Been a while heh.

The way you see it, announcing your presence is the quickest way to get a fight. So you flip on Sheila’s speakers, dial them up to 11, and shout, “GORWRATH. WHERE ARE YOU HIDING, YOU CRAVEN WEAKLING?!”

Your voice echoes down the empty streets. In the silence that follows you find yourself on edge. Right when you’re ready to repeat your challenge, a massive boulder comes flying at you from one of the neighboring roads. Sheila’s new forcefield deflects it easily, not that it needed to. You spin the engine around to face your foe, only to be confused moments later.

Before you is a strange, pyramid-shaped robot. It’s silver in color with green energy lines throughout. Six spider-like legs suspend it above the pavement.

## Who dares challenge N.E.G.I.S.? ##

Seems you’ve attracted something that isn’t your target. Best to deal with it quickly.

“I’m looking for Gorwrath, not you,” you reply. “Point me in his general direction and I shall grant you a quick death.”

## The N.E.G.I.S. Mark X is invincible. No weapon forged by such a primitive daemon can defeat N.E.G.I.S., which is invincible. ##

“GORWRATH! ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF FIGHTING THAT YOU SEND ANOTHER IN YOUR PLACE?!”

This time you actually get a reply. It’s the voice of the Herald who came to summon you at the Lake of Slaughter. “BEFORE YOU CAN FACE THE GRAND GORWRATH, YOU MUST FIGHT SEVERAL-”

Khorne damn it. Well guess you’d better get to killing this Necron thing in front of you.

> [1] Fire all the cannons at it.
> [2] Close the distance and chop it to pieces
> [3] Exit your engine and use Fatebreaker to tear it asunder
> [4] Write in

youtube.com/watch?v=J8FYqGX-xTw

>> [1] Fire all the cannons at it.

> [1] Fire all the cannons at it.

>[1] Fire all the cannons at it.

Maximum BOOM!

You cannot comprehend how happy all of this makes me. I missed the firsts quest, and now it's back with bits from my favorite cartoon!

[1] it is. Roll me another 1d100 to see how well you dakka dakka dakka

Rolled 85 (1d100)

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>> [1] Fire all the cannons at it.
>> [2] Close the distance and chop it to pieces
>> [3] Exit your engine and use Fatebreaker to tear it asunder

Everything at once!! Megas XLR Demands over the top madness in all actions!!!

Rolled 38 (1d100)

Let's try that again

You cannot comprehend how happy this makes me! I missed the first quest, and now it's back with bits from my favorite cartoon!

Now’s a good a time as any to test the new weapon modification. You flick several switches, causing Sheila’s scorpion tail to split into three separate cannons. In addition, the two claws at the front of the engine fold back on themselves to reveal four hellmaw cannons a piece. Combined with the secondary demolisher cannon in the “mouth” of the Brass scorpion, you’ve got quite a bit of firepower.

## I am the Necron Engineered for Galactic Infiltration and Sabotage Mark X. Surrender now, and I will destroy you peacefully. ##

“Surrender this,” you retort, slamming one of the many big red buttons that activate your dakka. You can feel the cannons charging as Sheila vibrates and hums. Then all twelve heavy artillery fire. So powerful is the combined recoil that you’re pushed back along the street, Sheila’s legs digging great trenches as you go. The weapons discharge for a solid four seconds, then shut off.

As the smoke clears, you see that you’ve all but evaporated the pyramid in its entirety. The Necron lists to one side, trembles, then collapses to the ground.

“Well that was easy,” you say, turning away and dusting off Sheila’s claws.

“Hold on Cinder,” Ignitrix says. “I’m still reading power fluctuations from it.”

By the time you’ve turned back around, the pyramid has half-reformed. Seems that pure dakka isn’t going to cut it. Or maybe you’re just not applying enough of it.

> [1] Apply more dakka
> [2] Smashing is your strength
> [3] [1], then [2], followed by a flurry of blows from Fatebreaker ()
> [4] Write in

>Attack!

And I forgot my trip. GG no re. Though I suppose it wouldn't be a KQ without that happening at least once.

>> [3] [1], then [2], followed by a flurry of blows from Fatebreaker

Do all of the things!!

Wait what. I remember this quest.

youtube.com/watch?v=jXqOLWjIByg

But with smashing at the end

>[1] Apply more dakka

There is no overkill. There is only open fire and I need to reload.

> [3] [1], then [2], followed by a flurry of blows from Fatebreaker

[3]? [3]. Back in a bit.

youtube.com/watch?v=v0D8JDFeahs

For inspiration

You’ve got better things to do than to be waylaid by a regenerating Necron. So you reactivate the cannons and take aim.

“What makes you think that’ll work this time?” asks Ignitrix.

“Just watch and see,” you reply.

Again you unleash a staggering amount of firepower at N.E.G.I.S., but this time you don’t stop there. The second you’re able to move again, you rush Sheila headlong towards the Necron mech. You then apply a furious set of blows with her claws before it can even collapse to the ground. Then, to top things off, you pop the hatch, step out with Fatebreaker at the ready, and add your own strength to the attack. The daemon weapon flares with gleeful fire as it slices and dices the Necron to pieces.

All said and done you’re left with not a piece larger than your pinky finger. You give the scrap heap another cleave or ten for good measure, then say, “And stay down.”

N.E.G.I.S. doesn’t reply, nor does it show any sign of regenerating. Content that you’ve actually killed it, you hop back inside Sheila and turn the speakers back on.

“WHAT’S NEXT GORWRATH? OR WAS THAT THE BEST YOU HAVE TO OFFER?”

The Necron debris begins to phase out of existence. In its place materializes a Chaos Space Marine clad in red terminator armor. Or, rather, it looks like terminator armor, just a bit bigger. Though even then he’s not nearly as large as Sheila is.

“I am Skullgar!” shouts the new foe. “The destroyer! Death Dealer! Surely you must have heard of me!”

> [1] Nope
> [2] Oh yeah… (Nope)
> [3] Write in

> [1] Nope
>3 Yawn dismissively then shoot him to death

>[1] Nope

> [3] Write in
Say we recognize him, and attribute our memory to some erroneous and massively insulting facts.

>Say we recognize him, and attribute our memory to some erroneous and massively insulting facts.

All of this, plus call him a Slaneshii Whore, that always pisses off Khornates.

“Nope,” you reply. “Unless… Yeah I might remember you. You’re the guy who had trouble killing even the lamest Arbites. The Slaaneshii whore who ended up being cornered and captured, whining for Khorne to save him all the while.”

He growls, the noise amplified by his helmet. “How dare you mock me! I am Skullgar the Despoiler! Skullgar the…”

With a yawn you raise one of Sheila’s claws and bring it down squarely on the CSM’s head.

“That was easy,” you say to Ignitrix. Only to have Sheila be thrown through the air moments later. You go sailing into a building, causing it to collapse in on itself. Both Sheila and you are fine, though this Skullgar now has your curiosity.

“This probably doesn’t need saying, but be careful,” remarks Ignitrix. “He’s clearly more capable than his appearance suggests.”

“Clearly.”

> [1] Taunt him again
> [2] Apply the dakka
> [3] You can take this guy without a daemon engine
> [4] Write in

>[2] Apply the dakka

> [1] Taunt him again
> [2] Apply the dakka

> [2] Apply the dakka
Is there any other way to do things?

>> [2] Apply the dakka

>> [1] Taunt him again
>> [2] Apply the dakka

Unless he proves himself worthy of death by sword, these are the only options worth considering

>[2] Apply the dakka

Everybody gets some dakka. We're generous like that.

We'z bein' propah Orky tonight. [2] it is with maybe a taunt thrown in. Roll me another 1d100 if you could.

Rolled 56 (1d100)

Rolled 87 (1d100)

Rolled 74 (1d100)

Mkay. Back in a bit!

The way you see it, until he proves otherwise, Skullgar is only fit to be destroyed by your daemon engine’s superior firepower. He’s not shown any reason to warrant you facing him mano a mano. Though to be “fair,” you only use your tail-mounted cannons this time around. The trio of bright blue lances pierces the air with a loud thundercrack and sends Skullgar flying into a conveniently placed oil refinery. Surprisingly, the CSM is still standing when the fire and smoke from the explosion dies down.

“Hah!” he shouts. “Is that the best you have to offer? I expected more from the ‘great and powerful Cinder.’”

You grind your teeth at that. Ignitrix picks up on this and says, “Don’t let him rile you up. Focus on finding his weak spot.”

“You mean besides his size?” you retort.

“Yes, besides that.”

> [1] Play things defensively until Ignitrix can come up with something
> [2] Stick with your strengths - Slashing and Smashing
> [3] Maybe he IS worthy of dying by Fatebreaker
> [4] Write in

> [2] Stick with your strengths - Slashing and Smashing

>> [1] Play things defensively until Ignitrix can come up with something

We brought our eventual girlfriend here for a reason, so we might as well let her do her thing.