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(Don't bring the memes over)

>magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/feature/plane-shift-zendikar-2016-04-27

Addiction Edition
How have your characters interacted with addiction recently? (pic related, my cleric, high on god)

Andrew: fuck off.

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>Addiction Edition
I'm addicted to alignment discussions.
>How have your characters interacted with addiction recently? (pic related, my cleric, high on god)
What a coincidence, my Paladin is also addicted to God and doing Goodness. This is very tricky when playing with a total alignment system!

I've mostly avoided them.

I've got a few addictive substances statted out for my homebrew but I'm not sure about an addiction system yet. I've thought about a con/wis check after X uses (with disadvantage when you double) and unrecoverable exhaustion for a week or two if you go cold turkey after failing the Con/Wis save.

When will the official 9gag approved meme list bee included in the general's copy pasta?

>He plays a gnome and I kid you not, he plays a complete child. I mean he is supposed to be like 40 or 50 years old and he acts like a child (because he has always been in the forest, so everything he sees in civilization is new) and it's ok RP like but omg it gets so annoying. He also spends a lot of RP time doing woodworking and animal caressing and stuff.

Okay...I don't see the problem.

>He made jokes about how the other guy was a child and was sometimes a dick to him

So...there was a dude who could transform into snakes and bears and call upon the forces of nature...and he was just a swell, happy guy doing this...and your character decided that it was a good idea to continuously bait him.

Yeah no. You maybe didn't deserve to die, but I don't have any pity for you. Dumb life choices lead to consequences in D&D just as in real life.

The DM should have put a stop to it, but this is your own damn fault otherwise.

It's been years since I've had addiction play prominently into any D&D plotlines I've run or played in. Last time it was in the form of a cult that had corrupted the lotus flowers used by local nobility as a way to gain leverage on the local polity. The corrupted petals didn't do anything more harmful than the normal ones, they just made the normal ones unsatisfactory, forcing the junkie aristocrats to deal with the cult to get their fix. Monopolies are a bitch, yo.

At this point, it might make the OP exceed the character limit.

I've got to add

"shield bashing with a spiked shield", and "alignment systems" just from the last thread. You know, those topics sure to cause a riotous good time.

When there's no 40k threads on tg

My character has been killed by another player character, a very friendly nature druid.

Our DM is kind of benefiting him. I was fighter and to drop my shield on the floor he wanted a full action for it. A FULL ACTION to drop it on the floor. I couldn't keep my greatsword on my back etc. But when it's a spell he accepts anything.

So please, what is the most OP class/race right now (counting splatbooks)? We are level 7. What would be truly the most OP right now?

Leave instead of putting up with That Guys and a pussy-ass DM. Christ, user, don't turn into That Guy to thwart another That Guy.

Thoughts on a variant human that helps to give humans a stronger racial identify as something along the lines of Federation humans? That we survive by coming together, a level of faith in the community that seems baffling to non-dwarven races, and some of the best diplomats and leaders due to this ability to place faith in friends and strangers.

>+2 Cha, +1 Int
>Can take the Help action as a bonus action on your turn
>Proficiency in Insight and Persuasion
>Advantage on saving throws against being Charmed

okay but are all the humans of that subrace actually going to act like that
because if you introduce Federation humans i'd expect to see a Federation

>Can take the Help action as a bonus action on your turn
Try not to copy class features (in this case, the Mastermind Rogue's main feature) for racials.

>I've found that a lot of people who dislike the alignment system are also the types who don't think there could possibly be people like the Joker or real-world psychopaths.

Which confuses me because there verifiably are. Son of Sam much?

I wonder if these people are the same reason why I'm not getting a Sinister Six movie. and Amazing Spider-Man 3 movie. One of the reasons ASM 2 failed (despite making shit-tons of money) was that people complained about Electro's character. Specifically that they didn't feel there was a "reason" for Electro to become evil.

They seem to have completely missed all of his establishing character moments heavily emphasizing that the guy was honestly mentally disturbed. I *loved* Electro as a villain because he feels like the first time Hollywood gave us a "crazy" villain that was shown to be genuinely crazy and have genuine mental health problems.

...

...damnit I wanted a Sinister Six movie...

No no, I don't want to That Guy. I just want the best class/race for stats because my DM is just random punishing.

The character will be well built with good RP and story. It's just for the stats part.

Do all shields give a flat +2 AC? It seems kind of weird that a wooden buckler offers the same protection as a metal tower shield

>Do all shields give a flat +2 AC?
Yes, unless they're magical.

SEE

>serra ascendant isn't a lady monk with a weird hammer-head headpiece
aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

Technically not a direct copy, as the Mastermind gets an expanded range on the Help.

Actually, they are. The subrace is more or less for the agrarian state of theocratic farmers that were recently anal-reamed by the ruthless arcanists next door. The large majority of them were 'relocated' by said arcanists in the wake of conquering their state in order to help diminish the chance of a rebellion, and these resettled individuals ended up in more or less unspoiled lands to the West where they managed to end up negotiating a new federation between themselves and some of the more peaceful elven tribes. So I guess Wild West Federation is pretty fitting way of describing them.

Yup. Used to, you had your +1 Bucklers, various other shields, with Tower Shields requiring proficiency, but 5E just lumped them all together. Besides, aside from description, why would you ever take an option that is simply worse than the alternative?

>metal shields

heh.

The standard shield is also not really a wooden buckler.

>Besides, aside from description, why would you ever take an option that is simply worse than the alternative?

Class proficiency, I guess. That's how I'd do it. Say there are Small (+1), Medium (+2), and large (+3) shields.

- Monk, Sorcerer, Warlock, and Wizard have no no shield proficiency.
- Bard and Rogue are proficient with small shields.
- Barbarian, Cleric, Druid, and Ranger are proficient with small and medium shields.
- Fighter and Paladin are proficient with small, medium, and large shields.

Oh yeah and I don't have pity for myself.
It was funny and I like rolling a new character, a fresh start.

Here are the mythics I'm considering. I'm sure that some of them are too powerful. I want them to mostly be permanent improvements to the character that draws the inspiration card. I'll probably tone down demonic pact. I'm also not sure what to do with the green one. +2 to con seems great, but also kind of lame to get.

Is a Dex Barb viable?

If not is there a homebrew that makes a dex barb viable?

Depends on your definition of "viable." Several Barbarian class features can be seen as either taking full advantage of a good Strength attribute or as covering for a not-so-great Strength attribute.

Where do warlocks excels? Are they just a ranged magic blaster? It seems like they get a solid amount of enchantment and illusion abilities too. Are they essentially the magical sniper spies of the game?

Aquatic Half-elf swashbuckler with a one level dip into dragon sorc.

A class that only needs 2 class levels to be good at damage, and can spend the rest of their class features on utility or fun shit.

They're generalists that way.

They're what Sorcerers always wanted to be but couldn't manage because they were still limited by spell slots.
>suave magical motherfucker who blows shit up F O R E V E R

And now you're just cluttering up the game with unnecessary rules, the exact opposite of the purpose being 5E. Honestly, I'm kind of surprised they didn't trim up the Weapon and Armor lists like they did with the weapons. Something along the lines of 13th Age.

Now you're just making me sad that 4E barbs didn't stay in 5E. I miss my rages inviting strange spirits into my body in the tradition of the berserker, especially Thunderborn and Whirling Barbarians.

You just can't take a villain seriously when his motive is literally the same as Homer Simpson's in Who Shot Mr. Burns

Yeah, I'll be happy to do so once the set is done.

Doh. Mant to reply to this:

There's also the fact that Electro is an outdated stereotype that nobody has been able to take seriously since Revenge of the Nerds.

youtube.com/watch?v=MCwz1dUxRAE

It's not "Shield basing with a spiked shield", it's "Using a spiked shield to get +3AC with Dual Wielder" that's funniest.

Really? Because I've met and seen people like him in real life.

And they're not taken seriously in real life either.

I can't take a villain seriously when his backstory is inconvenience and suffering on a level far below what thousands or even hundreds of thousands of other non-villains have experienced, and everyone else is taking him seriously and expect the hero to actually be wounded by the ol' "you're just like me" routine.

No, Lord Deathlord, you're not a compelling baddie. The legal system failed you and you spent 15 years behind bars and your wife remarried and the guy who ran over your daughter went unpunished, I get that, but that's no reason to blow up the White House. Do you know how many other people went to jail for crimes they didn't commit? That are still in there? Who had people kill their loved ones without punishment? There's a lot, and none of them tried blowing up the White House. None of them are running around murdering many, many other daughters.

You're not a deep and compled villain with a tragic past, you're a little baby bitch who couldn't suck it up and move on. A super-powered toddler throwing a tantrum and leaking explosions from their smelly diaper. When you tell Captain Hero that you're all the same because he's gonna punch you in the face, you may as well be yelling GOO GOO GA GA CAPTAIN HERO A DOO-DOO HEAD.

So i'm planing on handing out some magic items to my players who now reached lvl 6.
For the cleric/ranger i've got a pendant that grants cure wounds 4 times per day.
For the paladin i've got a shield that grants a knockback 4 times per day as bonus action.
For the Barbarian i've got an Axe that gives temporary 1d4 Hp each time an enemy is killed with it.
For the monk i made a custom weapon:
Meteor hammer, versatile, 1d6/1d8 bludgeon, 5ft - treated as finesse for sneack attack and may extend range to 10 ft for the cost of a bonus action.

This, I agree with.

You should give them all an untarnished suit of plate armour that doesn't rust.

At a certain point we've got to realize that all the big villains are actually just evil when you get down to it and everything else is so much equivocation and limp-wristed justification that only suckers will buy.

But the best villains are those that everyone buys. The best heroes are the ones that nobody believes at first. One man or party through a taxing ordeal, manages to change the convictions of a nation. Those are great stories.

I've always thought the mindset with that picture was kind of nonsensical.

If you're the only one who thinks something is wrong, it probably isn't.

That reminds me of a Reason You Suck speech I once wrote into a fanfic.

an mlp fanfic, but that's neither here nor there

Short version of the setup is that a dude [Grogar] 2,000 years ago killed 10,000 people before being locked away. When he came back he finished what he was doing and became a lich, which in this universe basically made him completely unkillable and essentially a physical god. He's then fighting with two other physical gods (Luna and Celestia), neither of whom can really get along [for plot-related reasons] and spend most of their fight arguing with each other to the point where Grogar is practically winning the fight simply due to them fighting with each other so much.

Aaand scene.

>Grogar: "This is magnificent. Your own pride will let me triumph, let me turn the world into a feat to fuel my eternity. There is only one weapon you could use to destroy me, and you refuse because you cannot take me seriously!"
>Luna: "Who *could*? Grogar the Necromancer. So afraid of his own death that he would make deals with demons and slay innocent beings just to stave it off. And that is all there is to you."
>Grogar: "...what?"
>Luna: "Fear. Tirek had grand designs of his own for the world. Sombra wanted an empire and legacy. Even she" [indicating Celestia] "is acting towards some greater goal. You? You have nothing but selfish, self-centered fear driving your existence. You are not the first monster desiring immortality that I have fought. You are not even the first to achieve it. You are simply the only one who wanted nothing *beyond* that. Even now, all you can think about is how to keep your stolen immortality. So of course my sister and I are already looking past your defeat to what comes next. Your own aspirations are just so *small*."

I agree, fellow brownshirt.

I know. So then imagine one of those people who's never taken seriously and is walked all over all his life, is basically given the powers of a god.

>"A god named Sparkles?"

Bad things happen, as we saw with Electro.

It also misrepresents the founding of our nation, but that's another issue.

I think if the fictional captain america behind that quote was to elaborate on it, he would say that you need to express your convictions, and promote them. Let them enter the market place of ideas. And be open to new ideas. If however, nobody else is able to convince you you're wrong, you need to keep honoring what you believe.

In essence: stand by your convictions, but verify.

> blog post
> fanfic
> ponies
Jesus, checking all the boxes today, user.

So what you're saying is...
You're feeling the math, Bernie Bro?

Doesn't make me wrong, though.

>Enemy wizard Arcane Locks the door mid combat to make his escape
>"I kick the damn door down!"
>Strength DC 25
>"Oh... what's the DC to kick the wall down?"
>.... lower
>"Alright, cool, I kick the damn wall down!"

Such are the wiles of magic.

Reminds me of a scene in Burn Notice where a guy had a bullet proof door...so Michael Weston [our main character] just shot through the wall *next* to the door.

That sounds like a fun game

Did the door still stand?

>Wizard casts a material component spell with a gold cost
>mid-combat
What is your Fighter's or Rogue's excuse for not having disarmed this fucker of his component pouch, arcane focus, and any other pockets or satchels he might have on his person?

What actually happened was we put a bomb in front of the door and blew the bomb. The walls were obliterated but the door was still standing and providing cover.

So the wizard ran up, cast a spell, and dove to cover behind it

So one of the enemy wizards telekinesis'd the door away from our wizard and in front of themselves.

Worked surprisingly well for them until they ran out of spell slots and had to start stabbing people to death (which they did VERY successfully)

I think the cleric's pendant is kind of meh. All the other characters will get new stuff they couldn't do before, while the cleric... will be a better healbot!

Designing cool permanent items for clerics, outside of the usual undead or fiend theme, is a bit difficult...

Tough doors always bother me when they show up.
>that door's a hardened blast door, it'll take us three hours with a laser torch to cut a hole large enough for one man
>the wall is concrete and you can see from previous shots that it's really no thicker than the wall
Wouldn't even take you fucks three hours with a pickaxe, now put your C4 on the wall.

Barbarian rushed in, raged, got hit and paralyzed, and then the wizard critted Inflict Wounds and killed him. In one round

So the GWF Bladelock (me) charged in to try and salvage the situation, and I got one attack off, killing the ghast, and then promptly failed my save against Crown of Madness and had to go punch my sorclock in the dick for four turns.

>Wouldn't even take you fucks three hours with a pickaxe, now put your C4 on the wall.

Gotta love when they use C4 in shows it's ALWAYS in the form of those big bricks with timers when that's enough explosive to demolish or severely structurally weaken a fair-sized building.

People really have no idea how much damage C4 can actually do.

At this point I just use it as an excuse relatively early. One player usually has a pickaxe on most characters' gear list, and I just assume enough gunpowder barrels and dedication can blow up most walls.

Well, stop thinking of them as "clerics" and start focusing on their characters, then.

Just yesterday someone was having trouble with the same thing for his Life Cleric of Bahamut, and I suggested (and he liked) the idea of a Decanter of Endless Water crafted from the horn of a blue dragon, gifted to a previous cleric of Bahamut by Bahamut himself in commemoration for that cleric's defeat of said blue dragon. The decanter fills its bearer with confidence, and 1/day the water that comes out of it can be Holy Water for 1 round.

Could the outlander background work for a desert nomad from Calimshan in a Forgotten Realms game?

I really want to play a CURVED SWORD type fighter that feels like an Andalusian Spaniard, ala Dornishmen from GoT

Literally any background and any class that has scimitar proficiency works. You could make him a noble, knight, merchant, far traveler, etc. So yeah it works, kind of.

Yes it does Andrew, please just stop

Outlander feels more like it describes someone from the wild hinterlands rather than someone from somewhere relatively well-settled like Calimshan - unless you hail from Calimshan's deserts, of course.

But if you're from Calimport or one of the other major cities then the Far Traveler (from the Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide) might work better.

>Curved Sword
>Dornish
Everyone who watches the show is going to think they know some shit from now on, aren't they?

...okay, someone needs to explain this Andrew meme. I missed whatever its genesis was and so have no context.

I'll explain it to YOU, but not to Kurt.
KURT I KNOW YOU'RE HERE, STOP READING THIS POST NOW

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Well it's definitely better than the books to be perfectly honest, and as someone whose grandparents are actually Spanish, it's pretty accurate to what al-Andalus is recorded to have been like

>implying Waterdhavian Noble works

I am said user, and admittedly new to DMing and D&D in general. And also thankful for your suggestion. I just had a hard time figuring something out because a light armored ranged cleric is a bit of a different concept than what I'm used to, and I was having difficulty coming up with something not combat related.

Okay, I'm going to lunch, but in the meantime, here are the 39 or so cards I've made so far. Thoughts? Criticism? Implications about my relationship with my Mother?

IIRC, someone kept posting questions about what to do as a DM and demanded that Andrew not read them. So people just picked it up and started calling people they disagree with Andrew instead of Virt. There may even be a hierarchy: Andrews are lesser Virts. To be called virt is to be called devoid of honor or value to society. To be called andrew is to be called slightly moronic or dickish.

Haha, classic Andrew

Just tweak it into Calishite noble. Far Traveler is dumb anyway if you're playing in Amn or Calimshan.

There's like 3 really ethnically dependent backgrounds at most (Waterdhavian Noble, Uthgard savage and dorfaboo crafter)

Thanks for the explanation, based user.

The guy is playing someone FROM Calimshan, not necessarily IN Calimshan.

I'm going for a desert raider type guy, used to lead a band of 40 raiders operating out of a cave stealing shit, his mooks got caught so he legged it to the north where he can play the part of an exiled mercenary and gather a new band of jolly robbers

Calimshan isn't really desert raiders, it's more Iraq at the height of the caliphate or Safavid iran through the lens of 1001-nights addled orientalism.

El Cid and Tizona disagree with you.

Calimshan has bandits like everyone does though.

The books are bad, but the show is goddamn awful

You're mistaking North of Spain with South of Spain during the reconquista

>I'm going for a desert raider type guy, used to lead a band of 40 raiders operating out of a cave stealing shit

>El Cid
>In Valencia
>Literally a vassal of one of the taifa emirs until he died
kek, the mythological version of El Cid is worth a few giggles.

El Cid was from Castille, not the moorish kingdoms, at the time Spain was divided.

The show is pretty good man, if you don't like it that's your opinion but I happen to enjoy it quite a bit

My DM has no clue yet, looking forward to th realization

The group I used to play D&D with few years back is starting to get back together, and I'm thinking of running some games on a new system, since our physical 3.5 books are spread god knows where, and using PDFs for character creation and other stuff is kind of pain in the ass.

Aside from obviously PHB and DMG, what's some good 5th edition stuff to buy? Particularly thinking of adventures, since it's been a while since I DMed a game and only pre-built adventure I've used is the very first one included in basic game, pic related. Also, how are dungeon tiles that are included in 5th edition starter pack? I'm sucker for those.

>El Cid was from Castille, not the moorish kingdoms, at the time Spain was divided.
He was also in the service of the emir of Zaragoza, something spanish and church history tends to love glossing over.

But user, crusaderfags routinely oversimplify history to fit their narrative.

Always thought Rodrigo was a weird choice for them, given that he was essentially a mercenary and killed a fuckton of Christians while he was in exile

Given that Dorne is based off post-Moorish Spain as they still worship The Seven and only the Orphans worship Mother Rhoyne.

>The show is pretty good man
D&D, plz go home.

The show turned everybody into literally backstabbing retards with completely inability foreshadow the simplest of actions

The recently stretch of sandsnakes role and screen time made thus even more obvious

>My DM has no clue yet, looking forward to th realization

Sometimes I forget that my parents (despite being ethnically and culturally Irish born and raised) got me a copy of The Arabian Nights as a kid and not Grimm's Fairy Tales or a book about Irish mythos or something, and so that's what I grew up with, and I might have a bigger working knowledge of Arabian myth then most white, non-Muslim Americans as a result.

I suggest going all out in this department and just ransack The Arabian Nights for stories, but in an obscure way.

Like say that you once almost won the heart of a princess Badr al-Budur until she fell for another named Alladin (and make sure to pronounce it as "Ahl-lah-DEEN", which is the correct way but sounds so different from the way most Americans say it that just saying it probably won't be recognized).

Just pile it on until your DM suddenly realizes and punches you in the face. It'll be worth it.

>I might have a bigger working knowledge of Arabian myth then most white

There's so much cool shit in there.
I've used the description "smokeless fire" to describe spiritual beings way more often then I honestly should just because I love that descriptor of djinn.

That's because even all the way to the conquest of Grenada, realpolitik tended to rule the day; Castille and Morocco made deals against Portugal and Grenada, and a large part of the conquest of Grenada was making sure Portugal didn't try anything funny while Isabella was busy kicking moorish ass; who cares that it's basically ex post facto bs when you're the one who pays the historians

It also probably plays into why my favorite of the Narnia books is A Horse and His Boy. Which is the one Narnia book that will never get made into a movie since it takes place entirely in-universe and those stupid kids from Earth only have cameo roles in it, and even then only two of them, and even *then* in their capacity as having been rulers of Narnia for several years already.

Man, I'd love to see a modern take on that. Letting Aravis be a full on warrior princess (which she basically already was) on screen would be awesome.

Oh for sure, I'm gonna lay it in thick

1001 Nights and Old Golds were my favorite books as a kid so I have plenty to draw from

Far Traveller and Guild Merchant both sort of work. So do Charlatan and Sailor fwiw, heroic merchants are kind of a thing for the repertoire.