Humans entering your magical forest

>be me, wood elf with hunting party
>see these humans and that large horseless metal wagon of theirs
>one of the hunters who's a loudmouth of our group suggests we kill them and eat them for meat and keep that weird horseless carriage of theirs
>I say no, and we should not bother those humans as they look threatening with those weapons of theirs and that horseless carriage does not look like what it seems
>the loudmouth arrogantly says we can take 'em and that their odd weapons do not scare him
>he positions himself up at a branch and takes aim bu then those humans yell out and they spot him first
>the loudmouth takes a shot but misses and the humans in return fire with those deafening weapons of theirs and kill the loudmouth
>I suggest we run and head back deep in the woods where they cant follow us but the others decide to fight back
>fuck, I cant believe one of them is even shooting at that metal horseless carriage and his arrows just bounce off of it, idiot!
>now those humans are pissed and they use those loud weapons again and this time that metal carriage is now shooting projectiles at us and everyone's down
>I get knocked down too from that attack and one of those humans come up, point his weapon at me and I fall unconscious
>and that is how I ended up in custody under these humans and being charged for attacking military officials.

What creature are you then? And how will you stealth kill one of them considering they're so close to each other. It doesn't help for you since they've got an armored fighting vehicle that can totally wreck you if they know or realize what's up.

ooops i meant to quote this post

What IFV is that? Is it really a LAV? I believe there are like many other IFVs

>be wood elf or any forest dwelling being like a forest cat person, a fae or a dryad

>"So how're you holding up? The humans treating you nice or okay? I heard this humans will go soft on you since they tend to have a thing for elves. And since YOU are a wood elf, you might just have a chance."

>"Well elf, you better start getting used to humans and human culture for you're now part of the civilized world. And judging by how you told your story, you seem to resent and despise your forest buddies. So don't worry; those savages will be taught a lesson."

>be fae
>loudly and drunkenly challenge them all to a dancing contest
>remind them to mind their manners
>they take exception to this situation
>no exceptions permitted
>now all of them, except the one who danced with me, are voles
>pretty normal day, did the same thing to the rebels yesterday when they wouldn't fetch me Githram's snoot

>White guys using steyrs and they aren't Aussies/Kiwis/Austrians
I'm guessing they're Irish and the Irish Army uses Mowag Piranhas. It's the vehicle that LAVs are based off and it's pretty damn similar to an LAV

Congratulations, now you as a silly fae have doomed your the forest your people live in as the humans are gonna get pissed off by such an action they will now proceed to firebomb your forest. And the woodland folk who lived in that forest will blame you for unnecessarily provoking the humans.

I piss on them

wrong that's a Mowag Piranha (which is the original design the LAV is based on)

>"muffled Fortunate Son playing in the background"

They're different from us
Which means they can't be trusted

>I am a unicorn
>There were no survivors

>Irishcunt
>armored

Hello cuckmaster.

>"scouting the area"
>"watch out for the rebel forces"
>what do you do as a forest dwelling being?

The races of men have always acted out their squabbles here. The fumes from that machine worry me, but this scuffle will pass, the party shall return to their wretched hive, and as always they shall water the brush with the blood of their own kind.

In the meantime I'll observe from afar and see to it they do not cause undue disturbance.

I'll teleport behind the biggest one
>pssh, nuthin personnel, kid.

>Be Ent
>Call from trees around them
>"This Grove is sacred, who are you to trespass upon hallowed ground?"
>Soldiers flip out and point guns at whatever moves
>Pick up their tank and lay it on it's side
>Reveal myself
>"You stride upon our bones, you disturb our ancient peace. State your intent Men of the West."
>Soldiers either start shooting or try and answer.
>If shoot, "You have sealed your fate, may your weary bones find rest in our Grove."
>If reason, "Those without malice in their hearts have nothing to fear in this place, but it is still forbidden to your kind. Turn back, or let me guide you through."

I help them out without being noticed and tell no one about it.

Incidentally the weather in Argoth is lovely this time of the year

I always wonder about non telepathic shapeshifters, when they impersonate someone do they just have to furiously blag knowing what's going on? Like, how's barktits the dryad going to know how the mike works on their radio. Hell, will she even be able to mimic a radio?

That pic is pretty cute.

Wait, wait, wait, the humans are entering my magical forest you say?

...

>it's a forest elf war scene
>it ain't me starts playing

>forest cat person

Finish taking a shit, bury it, then fuck off to the other side of the forest. I'm not getting involved in this. I don't recognize those weapons or that carriage. Could be dangerous.

That image always annoys me. Mostly because in most of the big fantasy settings...if any race has a 'not!nuke' it's going to be the Elves. Generally due to 'Reach exceeding grasp' with magic. They have a pretty big tendency to just blow up a good chunk of the world in many settings.

Why are elves so shit at speaking common?

>35 posts, 26 posters

Jesus OP you really like this thread huh?

Personally, stake traps. No matter how far behind your technology is, covered pit traps full of spikes is always a threat. It'll fuck up vehicles and people and elves are sneaky beaky so they can safely rely on them.

Additionally, high-quality arrows fired from a strong bow will go through kevlar - combine that with semi-magic stealth cloaks and ambush tactics and you can do a lot of damage to soft targets.

So ideally, find a patrol, use nature and sneak powers to set up pit traps around their escape routes, jump them with bows from all around (and in the trees). Then salvage their weapons, vehicles and armour for your own use.

I'm sure our Grey Elf friends have some means to handle metal carriages.

>internet detective attempting to analyze post stats

>Be wood elf
>Takes a shot but misses
Yeah I call bullshit

Their language is so amazingly complex it's hard for them to use simpler phrases.

Like, in Elvish, a sentence like that would usually be a mouthful directly translating to "Whatever could be borne or used by members of the unintelligent savages of the lower and lesser breed comparable to animals not kin to our forests that may even have a chance however slim of causing fear or repatriation in the breast of the race of the glorious on-high chosen people?"

He's known to do this

It's a training drill considering how loud they're being and the blank firing adapters. The forest is perfectly safe and most soldiers especially on duty don't mess with civilians unless they're complete shitheads. The forest is safe. Assuming I like humans I tell them of some of the shadier denizens and remind them to stay hydrated.

>Gate
That's one fun series.

It could have been done so much better though

>Keep close watch on them
>Don't let them see me
>Make a game of how close I can get before they turn around
>Decide to tail them as far as the edge of the fo-
>Holy fuck, that's a lot of humans at the forest edge
>And loads of tents and more metal carriages and shit
>Sweet cinnamon-toasted duck testicles
>Tap tail-end-charlie on his shoulder
>Okay, that was funny how he nearly jumped out of his skin and fell on his ass
>The weapons being pointed at me, I'm not so enthusiastic about though
>Oh well. I'm screwed anyway. Initiate bluff mode and act like I don't know those are weapons, or don't give a fuck
>"Excuse me? Who are you and why are there so many of you here?"

Story of your life.

>I am a unicorn
>There were no survivors
Sounds legit.

Wew

I wake up from my strange dream and continue on the patrol with my mates.

Shuddering at the mere thought of being a non-human.

>"I cant believe this shit. 'Go to Happy Fun Candy Time Land, the elf allies said it'll be simple, kill uncivilized goblins and wretches, make friends with the faeries.' Making friends with the faeries my ASS."

Maybe that wood elf made an unlucky roll? And the Human Military party rolled a critical against the entire wood elf party.

I really want to see that tank fuck up an Ent.

Those fuckers are nothing but wood. It can't do shit against a tank.

>implying a anyone can take on an industrial human race

America, FUCK YEAH!

"Hey friend, you'll not believe this. Corporal Cristofferson found a wood elf hunting party while he was taking a piss. They were hunting some 'mighty elk' for a feast and Corporal Cristofferson helped them out and shot that elk dead with just a SIG Sauer. Wood Elves were impressed and invited us to their feast. You know what this means comrade? We get to eat meat. Real fucking food as opposed to the shitty-ass MREs we have, come on Daniel the Wood Elves say they have beef burgers, lots of it."

"Alright lets go pay them a visit"

Careful not to end up with a Yandere Wood Elf woman.

AA, is that you?

>AA, is that you?
Who is AA? Some character I'm not familiar with?

nah, an artist

>be wood elf or dryad
>wat do?

Wish me luck, I'am gonna use my mono-gendered perks to make those humans like me then.

>"PSH, fucking wood elves, fae and all those magical woodland fucks. Think they're top shit and all that."

Duh! Help them fight the planeswalking Nazis of course.

>trying to use tactics we perfected against us
"I'am" afraid I can't let you do that, human.

>"WHAT'S THE MATTER YA TREE-HUGGING, ANIMAL LOVIN', PLANT WORSHIPIN' WOOD ELF FUCK!? Don't like when 'lesser races' use your own medicine and dirty tricks and tactics against ya!? You Wood Elves ain't the only intelligent race who knows how to utilize camouflage, stealth archery, and concealment of body signatures."

ANUUUUUUUU

>"Tralalala, Hi Humans! What a fine lovely day isn't it? Enjoy your stay in the forest! Tralalalalala~"

>There are six elves in that picture

yes but they're all dead so I don't see why you bother to point that out

youtube.com/watch?v=qzpPy9hJYA8

>Be me, lowly infantry man
>Hunting down NVA regulars and their jungle elf allies the Viet Cong
>Been hiking through a swamp for ten days when hit with an intense monsoon
>Up to my arms in muck and rain
>All of the sudden the jungle elves appear
>hosing the area with automatic crossbows with explosive tipped bolts
>Lieutenant's head explodes, troopers going down left and right
>"CALL IN THE AIRSTRIKE" I yell desperately into the Sergeants field phone
>Hear the jets scream overhead howling like a banshee
>Jungle on fire and jungle elves screaming and retreating on fire

*Cue Fortunate Son*

Damn that is some really good camo. I know the filename gives it away, but shit I spent like ten minuets looking at those images at where the guys are and wow. Damn good camo indeed, Solid Snake would give them a medal for pure 100 percent camo index.

Yes, more expert woodsman/hunter humans rekt'ing pompous wood elves please.

>Command mishears and put son House of the Rising Sun

So can we just make peace with the elves and agree to fight a common hated enemy instead? And so that we can be friends and share each other's culture and knowledge? We share and teach them our technology, and the in turn share and teach us the arcane arts. AAAAANND we get make love!

Humans get QT elf waifus and husbandos and elves get QT human waifus and husbandos.

Me on the other hand, I wana fuck that male elf in the pictures.

>>
Sorry, meant to quote this

I yell "fuck off we're full"

>this image again
LCB is extra heresy.

...

>They think camoflage will save them
>When the elves are allied with all the animals of the forest
>Every tree is home to a dozen eyes, ears and noses
>All feeding intel directly back to the elves

>Well, turns you've got animals on your side.
>That's fine.
>We've brought ours too.

...

>Apache Longbow

Not bad of choice there man, but I;ve got a better suggestion.

>AC-130

I have an even better solution friends.

>"Teeeheeyeehehe Aite, bring it on tree huggin' hippie knife-ear I dare you, I double dare you! It's not like you got any of theeesse!"

Leap down and slice off their gun barrels with my katana before teleporting from man to man, finally sheathing my 4000 year old blade. "Tsh. Nothing personnel, kid" Then turn around as every man falls to the ground.

>ninja faggot does not notice, or forgets there's an armored fighting vehicle/infantry fighting vehicle with the group
>the IFV then proceeds to gun down the ninja fag with its 12.7mm gun, killing him
>and for (insult to injury) added measure, the armored vehicle proceeds to trample the corpse of the ninja fag

kissmanga.com/Manga/Gate-Jietai-Kare-no-Chi-nite-Kaku-Tatakeri

Nothing. They come in the blackness with their dragons and their firesticks. They summer meteors from the skies and burn out villages. Even on the darkest, moonless night they hunt us down. They have no war cry, no bellowing horde. They attack with fury and speed. Their warhounds catch our scent and discover our traps.

Once, man feared the darkness. They feared our power. Our Gods were strong. But not anymore.

They own the night.

That's chilling... So what happens to the elves, now that mankind is relentlessly advancing? They can't retreat forever, after all.

Intergrate or die i suppose, their knowledge would be useful to humanity
>turncoat elven sages exchange magical and druidic knowledge in exchange for the lives of themselves and their families, like nazi scientists towards the end of WWII

Not LCB, that's a Kriegsman and a regular Eldar.

Real tree is super effective meme fudd camo that works in literally one environment. That's why real tree hasn't been introduced in large scale military usage.

>Shuddering at the mere thought of being a non-human.
POOF! Goblinisation happens, and you're now an ork. What do?

It's not good camo, it's made for lying still against a specific background during a specific season. It works for hunting, but don't get caught wearing that in SHTF scenario.

I realize that they all have BFA's and pick them off one by one, being careful not to let the LAV pin me down and run me over. That shouldn't be a problem, since it probably also has blank rounds.

Wake up from that strange dream again, vow to stop watching so much anime at night before sleep

Resume my patrol and recon, pick off a few ork scum that get too close to our positions with MG fire, say my daily prayers to Aragorn Elendil and Frodo of Baggins- saviors of humanity from ages past.

Too bad, because it isn't just a dream. Magic returned to the world, and people are being born as elves and dwarves, or spontaneously turn into orks and trolls.

Also you can't seem to decide whether you're danish or norwegian. Maybe you're a filthy swede^

Whomeven cares?