Help me Veeky Forums

I'm dming a game for some friends who have never played an rpg before, we're playing d&d 5e (plz no bully) what is a short, fun campaign for lvl 1s? (also i have no physical map and no minis) (pic unrelated)

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Short campaign for 1st level characters in 5e? Chase a cat, though I must tell you, fudge cat rolls or else you'll end with a TPK.

kek'd, but seriously. i need it for tomorrow.

Don't play DnD. It'll ruin you. And not in a good way. Want Fanatsy? Off the top of my head: Reign, Torchbearer, Runequest. There's many more. Don't buy before you have played. DnD only lives off of advertising, it's a horrible game.

D20 will only make everyone believe RPGs have to be convoluted, arbitrary, and offensively shallow to fulfill some Big Bang Theory trope.

Please learn what adventure and campaign mean, respectively.

Keep it simple and focus on mechanics first. Have a little fetch quest with one combat encounter, it's plenty to demonstrate the rules. Published modules are overwhelming for first timers.

And get some Veeky Forums images. This jock shit is offensive.

Lost Mine of Phandelver is an easy, short campaign from 1st to 5th level.

Takes between 5-6 sessions. Remember than in 5e in 1 session you can level from 1st to 3rd level easily, the first two levels are short as fuck, literally one combat each.

thank you, first decent answer!
>implying i don't lurk Veeky Forums

i.4cdn.org/tg/1461606389761.pdf

Here, from the PDF thread.

To be honest, I think I should bully you. Play something else, man. Why swim in garbage on purpose?

If you want crunchy shit there are a quadrifucktillion options, and if you want better shit there's OSR stuff and Tavern Tales. Turn your kink positive. Swim in fertilizer, not toxic garbage.

Were you raped by D&D? What happened for you and your kin to post this in every thread?

Holy fuck, you need to get fucked.

D&D is great, and pretending otherwise because you're so butthurt makes you look like a contrarian tool hipster.

This desu