Your beautiful elven wife is, in fact, your husband

I spam(med) these with or without them, /qst/ie

Thank fucking god the lewd shitposting is back

I can finally return home from my exile in /v/

>Your beautiful Veeky Forums thread is, in fact, a shitpost

I'm pretty sure I did not get into a marriage with an elf.
Unless we're talking a harem. In which case that's fine. Variety in your harem is essential.

Side note: I think traps work better as vanilla elves than chocolate ones.

But boys can't love boys!

This reminds me of that one comic with the demon.

It was oddly heart warming.

>implying it was ever gone
>/v/ as an exile
You may just stay there.

No they didn't. This always happened between them.
Besides, having your own board is hardly dying.

>your beautiful poster is, in fact, a frog

The fact I know exactly which one you means...
And I wouldn't say it's heartwarming. I mean, in the first issue MAYBE, but in all the ones after that the guy passes him around to all his friends. Multiple times.

No, I'm talking about the one where they slowly fall in love, but the MC only realizes it when it was time for "her" to leave back to the Demon realm. Very good stuff. Quite heartwarming.

DM sprung something like that when the noble lord my character married was actually female.

It's called a boipussy

DON'T RETORT.
HIDE AND REPORT.

There was a long period where tg was purged of anything fun. It wasn't pretty.

That would be Himitsu no Akuma-chan.

Or the Secret Devil-Chan.

Well, yeah; but you married him. Don't look at us.

>she

does anyone have the source

Blatant fetish shitpost threads aren't fun, senpai.

What a cute elf girl user

Keikoku no elf

Okay, I just want to say - if my wife wasn't honest enough with me to tell me she was a man even after we agreed to get married, I think that's more than a good enough reason for divorce.

Why would you even leave that information out? Are elves just dicks? Do they not care about gender and don't realize humans actually do?

That's a succubus (mars symbol)

cheers mate

You can't tell unless you look at their genitals so it's elven tradition to just marry and hope one of you can give birth.

Just because she has a penis doesn't mean her gender isn't female. She does all the things women do without the nasty issue of birth control. Its infact a better version of women. I'm even told by your peoples standards she's a solid 12/10 or a Q T Pie but i've never headd of that flavor nor can i see what edible food stuffs has to do with looks. You should be pleased you got such a good deal, human.

See kids this is why you want to have premarital sex. Marriage isn't like buying a TV you don't get a 30 day money back guarantee if you are unhappy with your purchase so you need to try before you buy.

youtube.com/watch?v=_v31LRkCGkI

There where implied quotation marks there for a reason.

The story actually used that funnily enough. You knew it was all ogre for him when he switched from masculine to feminine pronouns when thinking about her.

So that's why they're always a declining race.

Call me selfish, but I consider a vagina a very essential thing for a woman to have. I'm not interested in sucking my girlfriend's penis, you know? The fact that her biological sex was never made aware to me, no matter what she considers her gender to be, is still an omission of very important information that shouldn't have been omitted. How am I supposed to trust her if she doesn't tell me important things like this?

>I'm not interested in sucking my girlfriend's penis

That would be gay human. Just use her boyhole.

I think it depends on the particular artist's interpretation and the character's personality first and foremost.

It's not gay if it's an elf.

A. You never asked about her biological sex just her gender. You even asked for the fairest maiden and like i said plenty of your species have attributes untold beauty to her.
B. Don't touch her penis. She hates that. However she does identify as a power bottom.
Like i said its a very good deal.

>your beautiful wife's son is, in fact, an elf.

Not him but...
>not touching her penis
I mean, I wouldn't force her, but reach arounds are half the fun!

>However she does identify as a power bottom.
>mfw I know a FtM who identifies as a gay power bottom
>mostly acts like a dude, occasionally explodes into cute
It's like all the best parts of a trap and a reverse trap at the same time.

Just frot your warm, leaking junk together and make out. It'll feel good.

You mean I don't even get free prostate exams out of this?

Both your love and your penis are weak.

>my wife
>not allowed to do whatever I want with her body
Hah, good one.

Shes a graduate from the Elven Maiden's Academy of Foraseia. She's trained in the womanly arts not the the doctoral arts.

Do traps actually get upset if you suck their dick?

Awesome. We'll have similar sex drives and if it looks like that I don't care about how many wangs are really involved.

... Unless of course it wants to top. No go.

But a maiden is, by definition, biologically female - a young girl or woman who is not married. Both girl and woman refer to biological sex, not gender.

I perfer to keep things relatively equal in the bedroom thank you very much, but now that doesn't matter because I was still lied to, or information was omitted. Why did she not tell me her biological sex? What else is she hiding from me? If she knew how I felt about biological sex, why didn't she tell me? Why would she even get married to me knowing I'd get upset about this?

How can it be love when it's built upon lies? Can you really love someone when you fell in love with a different idea of them? And there's no happy 'you have married man and maid' in this case. There's no sister to come out of the woodwork and reveal I'd married her all along.

50/50. Some don't mind and others find its a reminder that they aren't true women.

How can you say you love her when you won't even let her fuck you in the ass.

>Meanwhile in elf/tg/
>Your handsome human husband is, infact, your wife
If elf lads looks like lasses to us then the reverse might also be true.

Depends on the trap brah. You're gonna have to talk to them and find out how they feel about it, it's the only way.
Even if we narrow it down to people with full blown gender dysphoria, they're still gonna have a somewhat personal take on the subject. Some are probably cool with it. Expect most of them would rather you pretended it wasn't there.

Nonsense. Your men have all these angles and edges to them, smell like oxes, and somehow develop adams in their windpipes without dying whereas your women are all fat, short, and have excessive adipose tissue on their pectoral area.

You shouldn't go into marriage with concrete ideas of what you can and can't do with your partner. You have to be willing to set boundaries as they come instead of assuming that your partner will share your desires. Otherwise, you get into a slippery slope of 'how can you say you love me when you won't cover me in soy sauce and pretend I'm a giant egg roll?'

That sounds like a top tier fetish desu.

Its pretty average in the scheme of things.

>Your handsome human husband is, infact, your wife

its more likely than you'd think

Maybe for you it is, but perhaps for whoever you married, it gives them flashbacks to Vietnam, or they really hate Chinese food. So don't go into a marriage thinking 'finally I've found the guy who'll treat me like the spring roll I know I am.'

muh image

Hmmm I should go ask my wife's view on pegging.

Oddly enough its ranked 3rd below in most common fetish for women. Rape is first and bdsm second. Admittedly though there are plenty reports of women who REALLY wanted to try it and found it wasn't for them.

No, the contract says she is my wife, and she's gonna wash my socks no matter she has dick or not.

I want an elf to spank me desu

And here I thought the cleric's law firm was a silly idea. Good thing I let him talk me into the prenupt.

>that cheeryass music

Sorry to tell you user but prenups are thrown out in elven court as its viewed as dishonest. Can't have millenia long family feuds springing up and the like. And there's no way in hell the elves will let you try shit in human court, you tend to be racist.

>chop his faggot head off and find a proper woman
>or at least a proper fucking human
>a fucking elf
>seriously now you piece of shit?
>god fucking damnit this pisses me off

So wait - because human courts are racist, elves are going to deny humans basic rights?

Why would I take your wife, OP?

Wow m8 might wanna scale back that aggressive attitude

>they did it fucking again

>prenups are dishonest
>they cause family feuds
wtf kind of logic is that? prenups are up front legal arguments that makes all parties responsibilities and consequences there of plain to see.
there's more drama when a marriage ends without one because then the individuals have to fight for their share of the unions assets

...

>divorcing

Just go to marriage counciling with your husband

BUT THE ELVES
FUCK
NO ELF
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

fierce, I like it!

Well, this thread is pure shit desu. If paladins want to purge it I have no problem with it.

>human/elf couple
>elf marriage counseling
>why don't you try hugging more tress human?

big fucking waste of time right there

Now give us a source

I think elves are cool
>tfw no an elf

You'd do it to us and if your lives are fucked up who cares you'll live, what, 80 years at most from this point? elves live for centuries and a hinderance at this point would be disasterous. Also "HUMAN Rights."? They're called Rights this is why every race hates you pricks.

>leave table
>leave house
>head into stable
>grab reigns
>return to house
>stare at elf husbands
>"Neeeeiiiiigghhhh!! Cum ride horsey! Give horsey elf dick dick"
>get naked
>put reigns on
>crawl around while elf husband tugs reigns and fucks my butt

This one elf is exampt.

That's Pelinal from Elder Scrolls, Marcille. He's a cyborg thing from the future that won't finish with this thread. He has one objective in life: kill all elves.

Read the thread.

Elves live longer and need more resources to continue existence. your prenups are short sighted and favor equality in the now rather than take into account life expectancy disparities.

>This is why every race hates you pricks.

T-then why did my husband marry me?

>tell him I still love him
>we go to bed
>tie him up once hes sleeping
>sell him to fat sweaty neckbeard on Veeky Forums

cause ur a poof

>Keikoku no elf
That's not where OP image comes from

Yes. Page 14.

Political reasons. We were attempting to give you more say in the local regions actual political happenings and hoped emplacing someone who can live long enough to help keep your generations of rulers keyed in and on the by-and-by would ensure your political machinations can have staying power on the actual timescale needed before you falter and decide to try something completely different every 50-60 years which gets you nowhere.